Unseen

Chapter 1: Forgetting

Warnings: Super Angsty, Harry cutter/suicidal, rated just to be safe. If you don't like, please don't read. Review please, but flames will roast my marshmallows…

A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, wish I did, but I don't. longer A/N at the end of chap

('text'thoughts textsounds "text"dialogue)

Harry's POV

knock knock knock… KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Damnit, Harry, I know you're in there!"

'Damn. It's Ginny. She didn't go away. I can't face her right now. She wouldn't understand.'

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, The Chosen One himself, was extremely close to suicide. Currently, he was sitting on the bathroom floor at Grimmauld Place, cutting himself with a razorblade. Blood was slowly dripping down his wrist, and tears were running their well-worn path down his cheeks.

Ginny, on the other side of the bathroom door, was furious. Once again, she had tried to talk to him, and he had just shut her out.

flashback

"Harry, what's wrong?" Ginny asked, looking at him seriously.

"Nothing…" Harry muttered staring down at the floor, instinctively pulling at the cuffs of his sleeves.

"Harry, I'm not stupid. You've done nothing but hide up here in Sirius' old room since Hermione's death, you won't even talk to Lupin anymore. What's wrong?" Ginny asked again, trying in vain to catch Harry's eye.

"I said I was FINE! Leave me alone! NOTHING is wrong. I'm F I N E fine!" Harry nearly shouted, while thinking 'Yep, fine. Fucked-up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional. That's me, fine.'

"Harry…" Ginny started, but was cut off by Harry jumping to his feet, running into the bathroom, and slamming the door so hard that dust fell from the ceiling.

end flashback

'No one would understand, even if I were to tell them. They can't see that I'm dying inside? Gods, I wish I were dead, I have failed so many people. No one wants me around anymore; no one gives a fuck about me. Hermione is dead. DEAD. Dead because of me. Dumbledore is dead because of me. Sirius is dead because of me. Cedric is dead because of me. My parents are dead because of me. I've failed everyone. How many more will die because of me? Everyone's favorite poster-boy has failed. I can't do this anymore. I'm sick of being me, sick of being Harry.'

Harry picked up the razorblade and sliced another cut into his arm, admiring the scars that zig-zaged across his arms and wrists. Some were still new, fresh cuts, only days old. Others he'd had since his fifth year at Hogwarts. He pressed the blade to the flesh of his arm, lavishing in the cool sting of the metal. He drew it down the length of his arm, pulling it through old cuts and scars.

'What would people think if they could see The Chosen One now?'

"Harry! Goddamn it! OPEN this fucking door NOW, or I'll blow it off the hinges!" shouted Ginny, making Harry jump, and cut deeper than he had meant to. He was starting to feel light-headed form the loss of blood.

"HarryfuckingPotter, you had better fucking open this door, so that I can fucking talk to you , or I will to get fucking Lupin!"

'See if I care! Blow the door off the hinges! Get Lupin! Lock me up in the Loony-bin, I don't care!' Harry thought furiously.

Harry heard her re-treating footsteps.

'Good. Hopefully she'll leave me alone now.'

But fate wasn't on Harry's side. The door suddenly burst open in a shower of gold sparks, and there stood Ginny, accompanied by Remus Lupin. Both stood, Jaws agape, surveying the scene. Harry, sitting cross-legged on the floor, covered in cuts, scars, and blood.

END OF CHAPTER 1

A/N: What you think? I'm a cutter, and I'm trying to "quit". The urge was really strong when I wrote this, so forgive all the angst and depressivness of this story. It kept me from cutting, and that is why I wrote it. If you don't like it, I strongly suggest you not read any future chapters, 'cause they will only get worse.

Please review?

QH2