Tidus: Are we there yet?
Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.
Tidus: Are we there yet?
Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.
Tidus: Are we there yet?
Lulu: Shut up, Tidus.
Tidus: Are we-?
Lulu: SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP TIDUS!
Tidus: Yes, ma'am!
…
Tidus: Are we there yet?
…
Tidus: Are we there yet?
…
Tidus: Are we there yet?
Lulu: No, Tidus, we are not fucking well there yet! What do you want me to do? Spell it out for you???
Tidus: What a great idea!
Lulu: (groans)
Tidus: Let's plaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…!
Rikku and Tidus: HANGMAN!
Lulu: (sarcastically) Fun! Fun!
Tidus: Wow! That's the first sentence with an exclamation mark I've ever heard you say!
Lulu: (defensively) No, it wasn't!
Tidus: Without the words "fuck" "no" "imbecile" or "damn" in it, it was.
Lulu: (grumbles)
Wakka: It kinda was, Lu…
Lulu: Die! (Reconsiders) Well, you can die after our first date this Saturday…
Wakka: Hey! Not first! I took you to Spira Burger!
Lulu: That. Doesn't. Count. Anyplace with Seymour dancing around in a red wig cannot be considered a proper first date. (Pouts) I've never been to a proper restaurant.
Wakka: Then please, Yevon, don't let this Shoopuf ever reach the highroad!
Lulu: (Glares)
Wakka: I wanna live, ya!
Tidus: Hello, people! Hangman!
Lulu: Uhh…. No.
Tidus: Anyone?
Rikku: Pick me! Pick me!
Tidus: Anyone else??? (bats eyelashes) Yuna?
Yuna: (Pretends to be asleep)
Tidus: Auron?
Auron: (Snores loudly)
Tidus: I don't suppose… Kimahri?
Kimahri: (jumps overboard) Noooooooooo!
Tidus: (sighs)
Rikku: Yay!
Tidus: Fine then- it's a sentence, all right?
Rikku: Yessir!
Tidus: ---- --- ----- ----- ---- -- ---!
Lulu: Why do even your hangmans end in exclamation marks?
Tidus: (brightly) Because if Rikku ever guesses it- it'll be the last one I ever make!
Lulu: I see… That makes sense.
Rikku: Oooh! I pick A!
Tidus: (sweats)
---- a-- -a--a- -a--a- ---- -- -a-!
Lulu: (raises eyebrows) That's mature, Tidus.
Tidus: (gasps) You can't know it already!!!
Lulu: How many words look like -a--a?
Rikku: Umm…?
Lulu: (rolls eyes)
Rikku: Hmph! I?
Tidus: No!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha!
Lulu: You can stop now.
Rikku: U then.
Tidus: -u-u a-- -a--a- -a--a- -u-- -- -a-!
Rikku: The first word is Lulu!
Lulu: (grimaces)
Tidus: (Fills in Lulu)
Rikku: Score!)
Yuna: (opens one eye to peek at the hangman) Lulu and Wakka…
Rikku: (spazs) Why didn't I think of that!
Tidus: (reluctantly) Lulu and Wakka -a--a -u-- -- -a-!
Wakka: Do I wanna know this one, ya?
Tidus: What do you mean?
Wakka: Well is it gonna be like the last one?
(Group silence as everyone remembers Tidus' last handman… Lulu and Wakka sitting in a tree- F.U.C.K.I.N.G.)
Tidus: …
Rikku: Fine, then! I guess F, C and K.
Tidus: Somebody stop her for Damn's sake! Lulu and Wakka -a--a fuck -- -a-!
Rikku: Well that makes things easier!
Lulu: (deep sigh)
Rikku: How about N?
Tidus: Lulu and Wakka -anna fuck -- -a-!
Rikku: Hmmmmmmmmmmmm?
Wakka: (to Lulu) Rikku's painfully slow today…
Lulu: (to Wakka) Maybe if we kill Tidus now, she'll never find out what it says.
Wakka: (to Lulu) And if Rikku's dead, no amateur spies will ever find out how true it is…
Lulu: (snorts) As if!
Wakka: (grins)
Rikku: (screws up face) O?
Tidus: Lulu and Wakka -anna fuck -o -a-! (head explodes)
Lulu: Well that's one way to get rid of him…
Yuna: Gack! Tidus! …Well… you can say I didn't warn him… (shrugs)
Rikku: Well you sure got over that fast.
Yuna: Yup! I think I'm taking Seymour up on his offer.
Rikku: But we killed him.
Yuna: Puh-lease! Like he's not coming back! (Jumps off shoopuf and tries to swim towards Guadosalam)
(Tick… tock… tick… tock…)
Lulu: The idiot can't swim, can she?
Rikku: Nope…
(Tick… tock… tick… tock…)
Rikku: Oh, fine!
(Rikku and Auron jump after her)
(Lulu and Wakka, alone now, stare down at Tidus' corpse)
Wakka: Think he's still watching us?
Lulu: I wouldn't put it past him…
Wakka: (tosses Tidus overboard)
Lulu: There's just one thing left to do…
Wakka: What, ya?
Lulu: (throws Wakka under the shoopuf's feet and waits for the satisfying crunch) There we go!