Hey, guys! I wasn't going to post this on here until it was complete, but I figured there was no reason to keep you waiting! I won't be updating as quickly as I did with Can You Feel the Love Tonight, because this one actually is not complete yet, but that just means you'll be getting the chapters as they come!

I hope you enjoy!

Dean and Castiel had been married for three years when they got the call. The doctor was a nervous-sounding man, and after listening to his speech, they could understand why. He must have been swamped with work. This new surgery had to have taken years to develop, and that they were offering Dean a chance with it... It was incredible. Dean was nervous about the idea. It was an experimental surgery, which was bad enough, but it was also going to cost a lot of the money Dean had been saving up so that they could finally go on a proper honeymoon.

Castiel said that it was up to him, though. Although they were married, Cas didn't want to influence that decision. Dean knew that Cas wanted him to get the surgery, but wasn't going to say anything to him. They wanted each other to be happy, no matter what. Eventually, Dean made his decision. He was going to have the surgery. He wanted to be able to see Cas, wanted to see Charlie and Benny and Krissy, who was going to have to retire as a seeing-eye dog soon, anyway. Dean would actually be able to adopt her now. So he called the doctor - Chuck, he said to call him - back and scheduled an appointment for the surgery. He didn't tell Cas at first - there was a good month until the appointment, and he wanted to make sure he really wanted to do this before he told his husband.

Two weeks went by before he mentioned it to Castiel. "I made that appointment with Chuck," he ventured to break the silence at dinner, taking a bite immediately after to keep from having to say anything.

"When are we going?" Castiel didn't question his decision, just wanted to be there for him. Dean was glad for that.

"January third. I figure that I'll be seeing by my birthday. Plus, we'll still have money for Christmas and a new year's party."

Dean couldn't see it, but he knew Castiel well enough to know that the man was nodding. "That's a good plan, Dean," Cas said, and Krissy's tail thumped on the ground behind him. Cas must have slipped her a bite of his food. "Are you going to be okay?"

Dean smiled at Castiel, eyes warm as he nodded. "I'll be fine. I mean, it's not like I'll have to get on a plane," he teased, though he was more than relieved about that. "Plus I'll get to actually see you. I want to be able to describe you from what I know, not from what other people have told me. And I know you know that, I think I just... had to say it out loud."

The next few weeks went by quickly, and Dean was happy. Christmas went by far too quickly, and new year's eve was approaching. They did throw a party, but it was just family and close friends. After that, Dean and Cas were driving up to the hospital, signing him in for the prep. Cas would be with him every step of the way - or so they thought. When Castiel got the call, Dean was about to go into the surgery room.

"I have to what?" Dean only heard Castiel's side of the conversation, but he felt dismayed. "Yes, sir. Yes, I understand. I'll be there." A sigh, and the beep of the phone hanging up. "I'm so sorry, Dean. There's a situation, they need me in Washington. I promise I'll be back before you're out of the hospital, okay? I'm not going to go missing. I'll be back before you know it." Dean nodded.

"Give me a kiss before I go in, okay? I'm guessing my head's gonna be all bandaged up for a bit. You don't have to leave until after I come out of surgery at least, right?" Dean knew it was going to be a 'yes'. "So take a gander, this is the last you'll see of this face and these eyes until you get back. I love you, Cas," Dean said, smiling at the man.

Castiel leaned down to press a kiss to Dean's lips. "I don't have to leave right away, no. But I have to be there tomorrow morning. Apparently the military doesn't like the idea of holiday leave. I told them that I had a family emergency, but they're not letting me stay. But I promise I'll be safe, okay, baby? And I love you too."

Dean nodded. "Okay, Cas." He sighed, laying back down on the bed. "I'm scared. I just... is that wrong? I want this but I'm terrified." His voice was shaky as he closed his eyes, worrying at his lip. He was surprised at the kiss that pulled his lip from his teeth, and opened his eyes even though it was a useless gesture - it was habit.

"You'll be fine," Cas murmured against his lips. "I promise I'll come back and you'll see me first thing, okay? Even if I look like shit."

Dean smiled at that. "Doubt that you could ever look like shit," he said, but he nodded. "I like that idea. Be careful. I know you said that you would, but... Just be careful."

"I will, Dean," Castiel assured. "The doctor's here, okay? We're gonna be fine. Just stay calm for me, okay, baby?" He squeezed Dean's fingers as he pulled back, smiling despite knowing that his husband couldn't see it. "I'm in the waiting room, alright? And if anything goes wrong, they'll come to me first."

Dean sighed and nodded, squeezing Cas' fingers back. "Alright. I love you, Cas. I'll see you soon." He smiled and thought about the fact that he really would see Castiel soon, see him for real and not just with his fingers. Then Castiel was pulling away and giving him one last, hurried goodbye and he was being adjusted, and a mask slipped over his face as a doctor or nurse explained what was happening, and he breathed in and out, and in and out, and in-