Okay. I wanted to give you a little bit: Edward left Bella. He did not come back. She did not go cliff diving. She and Jacob did become a couple. Edward did not go to see the Volturi. Victoria is still out there. I got tired of writing the same old redo scenes or scenes where Edward decides to cave into sexual desires. Time for more substance. I do have to give credit to my best friend, Joyce, for helping me iron out some details and Stephenie Meyer for coming up with this beautiful couple. Long live the Twerds with Cullenitis!
Chapter 1
I stood on the cliff and looked out across the water in the drizzling rain. Rain didn't bother me now- I was immune to it. That was one thing I could be immune to; the pain in my nonbeating heart, not so much. Edward had left me so many years ago and nothing or no one had ever filled the void he had left behind.
But that is not to say that life was ever boring . . .
Jacob Black had been a family friend of mine for a long time. But it seemed after my emotional breakdown he had become more than that. During my excessive craziness, he had comforted me. And in turn, when he learned of his werewolf heritage, I was the one that he could count on in his darkest hours. Jake was there when I was doing my insanely reckless stunts. But he didn't know I only did them so I could hear Edward's voice. It was like the day I wanted to go cliff diving but because Jacob couldn't be there, he sent Quil to stop me and then he drug me back to Jake. It was then that I learned it was okay for me to be with Jacob, to be truly in love with him. Edward told me so; he only wanted me to be happy. I know, his voice was all in my head. But if that was the only way he could be in my life, I would take it.
Charlie was overly happy when Jake and I got engaged my senior year. I had decided that I would go to the community college near the reservation because I knew that Jake could not leave the pack. I was so nervous the day of our wedding. It was a mixture of things. One of the biggest was the location: the meadow. Something that bothered me was how eager Jacob was to use this location, although I'm not sure if it was about closure or trying to get back at Edward for leaving me. But then there was this part of me that was hoping beyond hope that Edward come and stop me. That he'd rush in, take me in his arms and erase the years of torment. But it was a foolish dream. Edward didn't come. I distinctly heard Edward's growl when I said 'I do'. I knew Jake heard him too when I felt him cringe. It was then I knew it was real and not something I had made up. The choice had been Edward's and it was not me.
For a while everything was bliss. Forks was unusually quiet. But Victoria was not about to give up. She wanted me dead because Edward had killed her mate, James. The pack tried very hard to keep me safe to the point that one of them was always following me. Since I am accident prone or so they tell me. But Victoria did find me and it was for a really stupid reason. I had to drive to our meadow, mine and Edward's. I was losing his voice with the passage of time and I thought I could go there to jog my memory. It was crazy; I was married and happy to a point. I still with every fiber of my being wanted Edward. I had even gone so far as to try and look the Cullen's up on the internet but to no avail. For one reason they didn't want to be found and for the second is that I don't know why I thought they would use their actual names. I stood in the middle of the spring flowers as I tried to remember every word, every look, every sigh, and every touch. They flooded me with warm and painful memories. But his voice was the clearest when I saw Victoria crossing the clearing. Edward practically screamed for me to run. I did but it was no use, Victoria had me. My bodyguard for the day, Leah, had hesitated and this allowed Victoria to bite me, thus filling my body with her venom. I knew that Leah must have done it on purpose; she'd always hated me for being married to Jacob. From out of my blurred and faded human vision, I saw Leah attack and it could have been immediately and it might have been hours but the entire pack came and destroyed the wayward vampires.
The three days of my transformation are still a blur to me. I do remember the ungodly pain. It is forever burned in my memories. I could hear voices: Jacob, Charlie, Billy, Quil, Seth, Leah, and Sam. But there was another voice, probably imagined, that got louder and nearly overpowered them all: Edward was with me. He would not let me forget him-ever! In my darkest hour, at my lowest point, Edward was there.
When the hell was over and I opened my new eyes the world looked entirely different. Everything was much clearer, more vibrant, more detailed. My hearing was more acute as I could clearly make out Charlie snoring in the next room. Jacob sat beside of me and when I moved he looked at me like he didn't even know me.
"What? Do I look different," I asked and heard my voice practically singing.
"You're eyes are sick, blood red. You must be thirsty," he replied.
"I knew that would happen. But do I look different?"
"Well, I have to admit that you're even more beautiful than before. But those eyes. I never noticed the other bloodsuckers look like that."
I gasped. We never talked about any of them. It was an unspoken rule in our home. Why was Jake bringing them up now?
"I'm a newborn. They'd all been transformed years before you knew them," I answered nonchalantly.
Jake growled at me. "You're the one who knew them, not me!"
My vampire defenses kicked in and I quickly assumed an attack mode. I could not believe I was entertaining the idea of attacking my own husband. So I took in an unneeded calming breath as I noticed Jake had also begin to tremble as he to reign in his own inner demon.
"What has gotten into you? Why did you growl at me?! You have no idea what I've been through, the pain! I didn't choose this, Jake. You know that," I yelled back at him.
He backed away from me as I stood up. What was wrong with him?
"No. You didn't choose it, this time. But it was something that you wanted," he hissed.
"I used to. Before," but the words were stuck in my throat.
"Before meaning when the bloodsucker was still here?"
I was getting annoyed with him using that word. It hurt since I was one. But I had to get my head together and be calm.
"Yes. But I haven't since I married you."
"Are you sure about that?"
I would have answered but I became distracted by the glorious smell of human blood. Not one human but two, Charlie and Billy. When I was able to get control of myself I realized that I never wanted to go down that road and immediately became angry at Jake's lack of assistance in keeping me more restrained.
"Jacob, are you crazy or something? Did you not know how good Charlie and Billy's blood would smell to me? How thirsty I was going to be? I can feel it burning in my throat already. Didn't you think they'd be in danger? Newborns are hard to control," I shouted.
"Sorry. You're the vampire expert here, not me," he hissed.
"How much does Charlie know," I replied ignoring his weirdness.
"I phased in front of him and he knows you're the undead. I had to tell him after that thing bit you. Don't worry, we destroyed her. But I guess she wouldn't be that big of a threat to you now. And as for Charlie, he didn't freak. Renee doesn't know. She thinks you're sick, very sick, verge of death sick."
"What does the pack say about my change?"
"They want you gone. You're not safe to be around and they don't know what to do now that you are sort of part of the group. They warned me about you long ago but I didn't listen."
His words wounded me but Charlie and Billy's safety was the most important thing to me at the moment. It was far more important than my bruised emotional state. I had to think of Charlie before anything else.
"Jake, make Charlie go. He'll understand if you explain the situation. Am I allowed to hunt or will they attack me," I asked.
"That all depends on what you plan on hunting. Seth will go with you if it's animals," he explained.
"Of course I'll be hunting animals! Did you really think I could actually drink human blood?!"
"Well, I guess that's one thing I can thank the bloodsucker for."
I chose to ignore him. My thirst began to overpower everything else. I wanted to attack him and I would have but Edward had been right, wolves did not smell to appealing at all.
"Where's Seth," I asked.
"Outside waiting for you. Don't think about Charlie or Billy. I take them in the kitchen. You can see him after you've fed. And don't worry, it's night, you won't turn to dust," he explained.
"That's a stupid superstition along with garlic, crosses, coffins, and turning into a bat."
"Whatever. Just go and get rid of those God awful eyes," he huffed.
I waited until I heard all of them in the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped into the living room where Billy and Charlie's smell still lingered but I pushed through the agony it caused me. I had almost made it to the door when Charlie called out to me.
"Bells," Charlie asked and I stopped dead in my tracks.
"Yea Dad," I replied.
"You're still you right?"
"I think so."
"Go take care of yourself, kid. We'll take when you get back."
I gulped and I felt almost happy that Charlie knew. It would make all of this a little easier. What would be even one better was if Jake wasn't acting so weird. Maybe I could get Seth to tell me something. Maybe he knew. Seth and I had always gotten along really well and it seemed like the weirdness that surrounded me never bothered him. He looked like he was almost happy to see me. Unfortunately for me he stayed in wolf mode the entire time which made it impossible to talk to him. I am sure Seth knew exactly why Jake was acting odd and I knew he would probably tell Jake that I was being weird too but I expected a confrontation when I got home.
The hunting was relatively easy and as much as blood disgusted me when I was living, the elk's blood was surprisingly good. I ended up taking down 2 huge elks and 3 bucks. I barely got anything on my clothes so I was very proud of myself. This had been what Edward would do when he was away from me for the weekend. It was exhilarating to chase them and once I fed I definantly felt better. Satiated but not fully satisfied, but enough so I could go and see my Dad. I nodded to Seth and he escorted me back out of the woods. I didn't need him to show me but I did need him to keep the rest of the pack off me. I arrived back at our house where Billy, Charlie and Jake waited for me.
"So, I see you survived your first hunt," Billy said matter-of-factly.
"Yea, it wasn't too hard. Do my eyes look better," I asked as I opened my eyes really wide for Jake to see.
"An improvement but not 100%," he replied coldly.
"You feelin' okay, Bells," Charlie asked.
"I feel fine. Better than fine actually. All the clumsiness I used to have is gone. I'm a whole lot faster and my strength is something else. There are so many advantages to this that I didn't even think about."
"Except for being alive," Jake added.
"Except that but this was not a voluntary decision," I reminded him.
"But you had wanted it! You had wanted it really bad," Jake spat back at me.
Even though Charlie and Billy probably had lots of questions for me but they could see and argument brewing. In my fragile state of mind, they knew it would most likely become physical, violently so.
"Bella, why don't you come by and see me or call later? I think you and Jake need some space. Don't worry, Jake. I'll drop Billy off at his house. Bells, I'm glad you made it through this. Vampire or not, you're still my daughter and I love you," Charlie said.
I felt a huge lump in my throat and I wanted to hug him. I decided not to push my luck too much on the first day.
"I love you too, Dad," I replied.
Billy nodded at me and gave me a sad smile. They went out our front door and into the night. Once I heard the car pull away I knew I could unleash my fury on him.
"What is wrong with you?! Have you gone nuts or something?! You act like I've committed a crime. Tell me! What's going on," I yelled.
"YOU STILL WANT HIM!!! Why else were you in that stupid meadow of yours? I know it's 'your' place-yours and that bloodsucker! Don't even try to tell me that you still don't want to be with him! That you don't still LOVE HIM!!"
I stood there shocked. What he said was not completely a lie but I couldn't admit to it. Why did he bring this up today?
"But Jacob, I love you more! I loved you enough to choose you," I explained.
"Like that makes a difference! If the bloodsucker had come back, you'd be somewhere with him and I'd be a distant memory. And you know it!"
"But he didn't come back and I'm here with you! Why bring him up now? Why today?!"
"3 DAYS! 3 DAYS, BELLA! The only person you called for, the only person you wanted, the only word you said was his name! EDWARD," he yelled at me.
I sunk to the floor and let my shame was over me, betrayed by my own hidden desires, the one my heart kept secret. I looked at Jake and wished I could cry and I hoped my new eyes conveyed the sorrow I felt, the regret.
"Don't even try to give me that look, Bella. I don't understand you at all. He left you, left you here all alone. To die, to be miserable. But I was here, to make you happy, to love you, to give you my whole heart and life. And what do you want?! Who is it that you call out for when you are pain?! That BASTARD who treated you like garbage and threw you out! That hurt, Bella! No, that hurts! You crushed me! The whole town heard you screaming his name over and over again! Charlie wanted to find him and bring him here to see if you would stop and to show him exactly what he had done to you. But I knew I might kill him and you would not have forgiven me for that. Actually I know I would kill him. All I want to do is rip his head off his body!"
"What do you want me to say? I can tell you that I am sorry and mean it. But Jake, I know you wished I'd forget that I ever knew him but I can't. But that also doesn't mean that I don't love you! Edward is not here nor do I think he will come back and you, you are here! You've been here the whole time! He didn't want me, you did!"
I tried to cross the room and close the distance that grew between us, to touch him. He flinched as my hand touched his.
"Don't touch me! You feel like a corpse! Like one of them, a BLOODSUCKER! And you just might love me but you settled for me all the same. I was your fall back. But I see it clearly now that it was always all about him! I never even had a chance, did I? Now that you are what you are, I don't think we should be together anymore."
My jaw dropped. Was he serious? Why was he doing this to me? It was not a good enough excuse to me that I had said Edward's name. There had to be something else.
"NO! No, you can't do this! I can't help what I said! I was in so much pain that I had no idea what I was doing and I can't help the way I felt. He had a lasting effect on me that reaches deeper that I thought. But I married you and I left it all behind!"
"But you still want him! Admit it! All I want from you now is the truth!"
"The truth?! The truth?! I really don't know what you want me to see! I could lie and tell you that I don't still think about him. I could also lie and not tell you that my human memory was made even stronger by my new vampire ones. Or that he haunts me every single day. Is that it? Even if that wasn't the truth, it doesn't matter. Do you know how much I love you? How much you mean to me? Don't do this to me! I don't want to live without you!"
"And I don't want to be second to a bloodsucker for the rest of my life. Go home to Charlie, he still loves you. But you have to leave La Push and you can never come back. I don't want you here. Bella Black is dead to me!"
And that was it. Jacob Black was done with talking. He'd said it all and it was more than enough. I looked at him floored and damaged by his acid words. I would go to Charlie now but I didn't know how long I would be able to stay. But I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was not wanted here. I was being thrown out of my own home. Maybe it would all blow over or it might last forever, whatever the case I had to give him room. I nodded and bolted out the door. At full speed, I ran all the way back to my old home where Charlie had not arrived. I would wait and why not? Where else could I go now?
The house was dark when I head Charlie's cruiser turn down the street where he lived. I didn't need lights because I could see perfectly in the dark. But I switched on the lamp next to me so Charlie wouldn't trip when he came in the house or shot me when he saw my shadow in the darkness. He opened the door and gasped slightly when he saw me.
"I'm not completely shocked you're here. Well, I guess I am a little. I thought you might have worked this out. But I saw it coming," Charlie said as he sat on the opposite end of the couch.
"Dad, you know what I said," I asked.
"They all do. But I wasn't surprised. I know as well as the next guy that there are some people that you never truly get over."
"You mean like you never got over Mom?"
"Something like that. I knew that you were far from over Edward. But after the way he left you and never called, wrote, or emailed I wouldn't be able to forgive him."
"He had his reasons."
"And what's that?"
"He didn't want me anymore. Edward said I was in danger around him and he thought my life would be better if I forgot him and moved on."
"Has it?"
"I don't know."
"But you haven't forgotten him and moved on. You clearly still think of him. Jacob knew it when he married you. I think he wanted to get back at Edward for what he had put you through."
"I'm sure he did. I'm sure he wanted to rub his face in the fact that he had me and not Edward. But I don't think my saying his name is enough to basically throw me out."
"I think it has more to do with the fact that from what I can gather, you two are mortal enemies now. That the wolves are able to phase when the vampires are around, that vampires are why they change. Otherwise, they could exist normally."
"When did you get to be so knowledgeable on all things vampire and wolf?"
"I spent 3 days with Jacob and the others. They filled me in."
"Their version of the story of course."
Charlie looked at me oddly, like I had said something funny.
"What," I asked.
"Well, I never expected you to be taking up for them after all you've gone through," he replied.
"Things change when you are suddenly thrust into their shoes."
"Is it hard, Bella, being in the room with me?"
"Not as bad as I thought, although my throat does burn quite a bit. It's not so awful that I don't think I should be here."
"Jake told me that the newborns were hard to control, that they acted on their bloodlust. Why are you so well behaved, like this doesn't seem to bother you at all?"
"I don't know. I've always been a sort of a glitch to all things weird. Edward never could read my mind."
"He reads minds?"
"Yea and Alice can see the future up to a point. If you change your mind it makes it more difficult. Jasper, Edward's brother, can control the emotions in the room. The Denali coven has some gifted members as well."
"The Denali coven? Where are they?"
"In Alaska, they share the Cullen's vegetarian lifestyle."
"What?"
"Edward told me that they called themselves vegetarians because they refused to drink human blood and that drinking animal blood was about like a vegetarian eating tofu. It satiates you but you are not completely satisfied."
"Oh. You knew about Edward when you were with him."
"Yes."
"And it didn't matter?"
"No."
"Did he ever talk about changing you himself or any of the others?"
"No, actually I was the one who wanted him to change me. He said he would not take my soul and doom me to being a monster like he was."
Charlie sat back and allowed that bit of information to really sink in. I'd let him question me all night if he wanted to. I didn't need to sleep and I actually dreaded my first night. Charlie yawned.
"Are you sleepy," I asked although I knew he obviously was.
"A little but I have a few more things to ask. What do you think your plans are now? Are you going to go look for the Cullen's," he asked.
"I don't know about that. I am not really sure what to do. Especially after you go to bed since I don't sleep anymore," I answered.
"Really?"
"Yea, I hope you are looking forward to a really clean house. That is if the pack doesn't flat out run me out of Forks."
"I don't know what they'll do but anyone in Forks is going to realize in a few years that you are not getting any older. That was why the Cullen's moved around so much?"
"Yes. They generally could stay for about 4 to 5 years before it was obvious. Their one rule is not to expose themselves to humans."
"Who makes sure they follow the rules?"
"A very old group of vampires known as the Volturi, they are from Italy. Edward and Carlisle told me about them. Carlisle was friends with them before he chose the vegetarian way. You realize that we are strictly a minority. Not too many vampires value human life."
"Well, that is a plus for the Cullen's then. Bella, I want you to know that you can stay here as long as you can. I can try and reason with Jake if you want me to. Billy doesn't agree with him completely."
"But he does to a point? I guess Billy doesn't because I am his daughter-in-law."
"Yea, he loves you like you are one of his kids. But he has no real control over what Jake does or doesn't do. If I could talk Jake into calming down and taking you back, would you go?"
"I don't know. He said that I was dead to him."
"I see. Well, you weren't planning on making a concrete decision tonight? I mean you will be here when I get up, right?"
"Of course. I guess you do need to go and get some rest."
"I hate to leave you but I do have to work tomorrow. I guess school is out for you."
"Since they all know what I am, I don't even think that is an option. Maybe I'll go to college online."
"That's the spirit. I'll see you in the morning, kid."
I watched Charlie slowly climb the creaking stairs. I followed after 10 minutes and walked into my dark and musty room. It had not been used since I left. I sat on the bed and looked out my window. It had started raining. Why was I not surprised? If anything it was predictable. That was one thing in my life that was. What was I going to do now? There were some options that I could toss around and figure out which would be the best in the long run. Part of me wanted to go out on my own and I even entertained the idea of going to the Volturi and see if they would not just kill me. I didn't know if this was the life I wanted. But survival instinct kicked in and I knew I wanted to live no matter if I was alive or not. I mulled over trying to find the Cullen's again. Edward might really want me now that I was like him and no longer fragile. But there was that worry that he wouldn't. I tossed around staying in Forks until the pack came to get rid of me. And that had two meanings: death or eviction. If they evicted me, how long would it be for? Forever? My last option was to seek out the Denali coven. Edward had told me about them. Tanya was the beautiful one who had a thing for Edward and she was sort of its leader. I think they were the ones whose mother had been destroyed by the Volturi because their mother had created an immortal child. This was a big no no too. But would they accept me? Or would they throw me out? Did they know where the Cullen's were? Would they call them and tell them about their latest edition? But, a decision was not necessary at the moment. Nothing more to do than sit and wait to see what the morning brought. If the sun was out I was stuck in the house and if not I could walk around and try to gain some prospective.
I could see the sun peeking through the edge of my curtains and I knew I was stuck in the house. Charlie was out of his room and had turned to come into mine. I sat up and turned to face the door when he opened it.
"Hey," I said.
"Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were still here," Charlie said with a smile.
"I'm here. And I'll be in all day."
"Oh right, the sun. Turns you to dust right?"
"No. That is a crazy story concocted by the movies. Actually my skin will sparkle like diamonds."
"Diamonds huh? I guess it is best if you stay in. Are you any better today?"
"My husband threw me out and I'm a vampire. No nothing much has changed."
"Well as long as you still have your sense of humor, everything will be fine. See ya, kid," Charlie said as he walked out my door.
I sat there a few more minutes until I decided to look for more clothes. Surely I had left some here. I could take a shower to kill time. Luckily there were clothes left behind and I grabbed some jeans, a long sleeve t-shirt and headed for the shower. I stayed in for 30 minutes thoroughly cleaning every last inch of myself. I put on my clothes and walked to Charlie's room to see if he needed any laundry done. So, 1 hour later, the laundry was done, sheets and curtains included, the bathroom was clean along with the kitchen, the living room had been rearrange and now I was officially bored. I roamed around and looked for a book to read. When I discovered a hidden copy of Wuthering Heights, I heard a knock at the door. Who would be here to see Charlie at 10 A.M.? I looked out the front window and saw it was Jacob. What did he want? Did he come to say he was sorry, to beg me to come back?
"Why are you here," I asked point blank as I opened the door.
"I came to talk to you, officially," he answered stoically.
"Come in."
He entered the house and already the cold from his demeanor filled the room. I sat down in one of the wooden chairs in the kitchen while Jacob stood in front of the refrigerator.
"Bella, I've come to tell you that you have to leave Forks," he explained.
"Okay and why is that? Why do you all think I am so dangerous," I demanded.
"You're a bloodsucker, our enemy. It doesn't matter that we are married and you are part of us, in a way, because we will not be married much longer."
"And what if I don't want to grant you one? What then?"
"You have no choice. This is law."
"Who's law? Yours, theirs? Not mine. This is a bunch of crap. You kick me out of my own house with nothing. Not even a tooth brush."
"Do you even need to do that? Aren't you supposed to be perfect?"
"It's not the point. The point is that you threw me out."
"What did you expect me to do? Accept you with open arms? You are a bloodsucker and we don't mix. I don't even like being in the same room with you now, you stink, Bella. And as for sex, that will never happen again. Why would I want to touch something that is ice cold?"
"So you really don't love me anymore," I asked.
"No and I don't see how you could possibly love me. Look, we're just too different," Jake replied flatly.
"Weren't we different before, human and wolf?"
"We were both warm blooded then. Now you're a bloodsucker and besides I want you to be honest. If he came back, you'd forgive him and take him right back!"
"I don't know."
"I do! And you would! He's like you and you love him. I know you love me but you love him more and I frankly don't love you anymore, Bella. I really don't so just go."
I stared at him in silence. The knife he had stabbed into my chest twisted and caused even more pain.
"How long do I have," I asked after 20 minutes of silence.
"Just long enough for you to call Charlie but we'll be watching," Jake said as he went out the front door and didn't even look back.
I stood there numb. I had to call my Dad. When I did he tried to get me to stay but I knew the pack would never allow that. I knew I had to leave and the first place I went was the Cullen's. I figured if I went there I could probably find a trail leading to Tanya's. At first I picked up one scent and I followed it as far as it would go and it led to nowhere. After a half a day I finally found the one I needed and the scent belonged to Edward. It led me all the way to Alaska and the Denali's. Once there I stood at the door and after 10 minutes I knocked. I knew at first glance that the woman before me was Tanya.
"Hello," her smooth voice enveloped the air around me.
"Hi, uh, you don't know me," I began.
"You're Bella," she answered.
"Yea, how'd you know," I asked.
"From Edward's description of course although you are far more beautiful than he said. And I see why. Won't you come in where we can talk," Tanya said.
I entered her home and it was as beautiful as the Cullen's, light and open with windows that looked out over the ocean. It was absolutely breathtaking. Seated around the living room were four other people. Tanya instructed me to have a seat on the nearest chair but never introduced me. I guess she assumed they all would know me. A tall dark haired woman glared at me.
"You're Bella," one female asked that looked a lot like Tanya.
"Yes and you're," I asked.
"Kate, Tanya's sister, and this is Irina our other sister. That's Carmen and Eleazar. Welcome."
"Thanks. I'm sorry I really had nowhere else to go since I was thrown out of my home by my former husband."
"That's right. You were married to a wolf," Carmen said.
"Don't remind me. They are the ones who threw me out."
"We could go back and take care of them for you," Kate said.
"No. No I'd just as soon start over again."
They all looked at me and nodded except for Irina. She stood up and walked to the window. Irina looked out across the sea and sighed. Eleazar let out a dissatisfied groan as well.
"Tanya, I must go," she said.
"What? Why? Why are you leaving," Tanya asked.
"It's because of me," I added.
"Bella, of course it's not. You just got here," Kate said.
"Yes, it is," Irina replied.
"What," Kate and Tanya asked.
"She is why Laurent is dead and I don't want to live here with her."
"That is nonsense. It is not her fault. Besides she is one of us," Carmen said.
"She was human then and I can't stand the thought of living here with the woman who caused the death of my mate."
"Irina, you barely knew him," Eleazar added.
"It doesn't matter."
"Look, I'll leave. I'm not about to run someone out of their home," I exclaimed.
"Bella, she was going to leave if you were here or not. But she will never admit it now. Will you, Irina," Eleazar informed us.
"Is that true, Irina," Tanya asked.
"It is true. I would have left. But the reason why is I was looking for the one who killed my lover," Irina answered.
"And what would you have done with them once you found them," Carmen asked.
"She'd have done absolutely nothing," Eleazar answered.
"Irina, you're being irrational. You only knew Laurent for a few days and to believe that you would have such a connection with him in a short period of time is absurd. Sister, you must listen to reason," Tanya pleaded.
"No, Tanya. My mind is made up. I am sorry. She can replace me here. I may come back one day but I must go now," and with that she was gone.
Stunned silence filled the room. Carmen quickly ran after her but returned an hour later alone. I felt horrible because I was the reason she left. I wished they would have gotten mad at me but they didn't which bothered me. Eleazar was the first one to speak after a few hours of silence had passed.
"Don't trouble yourself, Bella. I knew she was leaving. Irina has always been the flighty one," Eleazar explained.
"It still doesn't change the fact that she left because of me and that doesn't make me feel any better," I replied.
"But Eleazar is right. Irina has always been the one to go her own way. Please, you are a part of this family now. We want you to feel nothing but welcome," Tanya said.
"Bella, she's a grown woman. If Irina wants to come back some day she will. But you shouldn't worry about it," Kate added.
"Besides, what you really need to think about is perfecting your gift," Eleazar said.
"My what," I asked astonished.
"You must know how gifted you are. Surely you have sensed it," he said.
"Eleazar, I've been a vampire all of about 5 days. I've spent most of my time in shock to be honest," I explained.
"Who was the one to change you," Carmen asked.
"One of the Laurent's group, Victoria. Edward had killed her mate James and she wanted me dead whether I was with Edward or not."
"But why aren't you with Edward anymore," Kate asked.
"Edward didn't want me anymore and he thought it would be better if I never thought he existed. If I would just forget him since he no longer loved me. He thought he was too dangerous for me," I explained which only made the unbearable ache in my chest more real.
"I find that extremely hard to believe," Tanya replied.
"Why's that," I asked.
"Bella, let's focus on your ability right now. Don't worry about a silly man," Eleazar chuckled.
I wanted to press Tanya more for a better explanation but I nodded in agreement and followed Eleazar and the others outside. The sun was shining bright and we all stood in a circle. Eleazar knew what I could do so he explained it to me in detail. It turns out that I could produce a force field that would repel anything, not only around me but others as well. Also with the help of the shield Eleazar who normally could not see into my head was able to. I spent 3 months perfecting my gift and learning to fight just in case I ever needed to. I had become very comfortable with my new family. Tanya, Kate and I were very close. Eleazar reminded me a lot of Carlisle, a father figure. He had taught me so much in the 6 months since I had lived with them. Carmen and I had hit it off as well. We spent a lot of time walking in the woods, going down to the beach, and hunting. I spoke to Charlie often and had made a few trips to Port Angeles since I wasn't sure if I could go to Forks or not. But Port Angeles was a safe zone. Jake had mailed me the divorce papers and we were officially over. I wasn't too upset about the whole situation. Nothing could make me love him after the way he treated me and considering he had done something with all my things and I could not get a straight answer as exactly what it was.
In all this there was still something missing. I knew what it was. I missed the Cullen's. Sure I was close to Tanya, Kate, Carmen and Eleazar but they weren't Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett or even Rosalie or Jasper. Jasper had gotten distant after he tried to attack me. I wondered what he would think of me now. I wondered what Edward would think of me. Would he love me again? Would he want me now that I was like him, no longer fragile? I did a lot of standing out on the cliffs above the beach and looking out across the cold icy waters. I spent hours watching the whales swim along in perfect harmony, mated for life. Their families would grow and change but their core pair remained the same. That was what I wanted. I wanted that with Edward. Even after all this time and everything that had happened when he left and since, I still loved him and wanted to be with him. Tanya knew something and I wanted to know what it was but I was always afraid it would be something that I really didn't want to hear. I guess I am a coward at heart, afraid of rejection.
It had been 9 months since I had joined the Denali coven. On a particularly snowy day, Tanya walked up to me and smiled.
"Bella, I thought you would like to know that we are having guest today," she said.
"Oh. And who might that be," I asked.
"Alice and Jasper, she called a few weeks ago and was overly excited when I told her you were here."
"I'm surprised she didn't know already."
"She thought she had seen you here. But it has gotten a little fuzzy what with you being married to a wolf and then becoming a vampire. Alice was not surprised you came here but Jasper was amazed at how well you were doing considering you are still a new born."
"Well, like I told Charlie I have never been one to follow the norm."
"No, I guess you aren't."
"When will they be here?"
No more had the words left my mouth that I felt arms surround me and pull me into them. I knew from the smell that it was Alice. I embraced her with just as much love.
"Bella, God, I never thought I'd see you again. I have missed you so much. I've tried to call Charlie and your old house several times and I'd either get you weren't there or no one would answer. But I never gave up hope and now look at you. How did this happen? Did you come here and ask one of them to do it," she asked as Jasper sized me up.
"No. Victoria did it. The wolves took care of her," I explained.
"Well that was one good thing they could do. Why haven't you called us or looked us up?"
Tanya motioned for us to go out on the porch. I think she sensed we wanted a more private conversation. She did stay with us but over to the side and in the corner. Jasper sat in a deck chair and Alice and I sat in chairs that faced one another. I could feel a wave of calm come over me and I knew at once it came from Jasper. I smiled at him.
"Thanks, Jasper. How have you been," I asked.
"I have been fine. You look like you have taken to your transformation quiet well. You've never had human blood have you," he asked.
"No vegetarian from day one. I wanted to apologize for what happened years ago on my birthday."
"Why are you apologizing? I'm the one who tried to attack you. No wonder you and Edward are so perfect for each other. You're always trying to take the blame whether it is yours to take or not."
"Jasper, Edward didn't want me anymore," I said.
"What? That's not true. Well he might have said that to you at first but he changed his mind really fast," Alice explained.
"Alice, I know he's your brother but I'm telling you the truth. He doesn't love me anymore. If he had Edward would have come back a long time ago," I replied.
"Bella, he did. He's been trying every few weeks about 3 days after he first left. But the dogs refused to let him cross the line."
"Oh come off it, Alice. You honestly want me to believe this?!"
"Yes! It's the truth! Edward wouldn't cross the line because he knew it would mean war and he thought you'd never forgive him if something happened to Jacob or the others or even Charlie. Edward kept going back but they flat out refused to let him pass."
"Alice, be serious," I huffed.
"She is telling you the truth, Bella," Jasper added.
"Bella, Edward came to your wedding because Jacob sent him and invitation and Edward was allowed in so far because it was in the meadow- a safe zone. But if Edward had tried to cross the other line it would have been chaos. After you married the dog, Edward didn't give up: he continued to try and just see you so you would still know that he loved you. He called and was lied to about where you were. Edward wrote but all letters were returned. He knew he had made a terrible mistake and I can tell you that he is still very much in love with you and more over hopelessly miserable," Alice explained.
I was mad. There was no way that any of this could possibly be true. Edward had put them up to this now that he knew I was like him. He was not in love with me and Alice was grasping at straws.
"I know why he sent you. Now that I am like him, Edward wants me. It's all convenient since he didn't have to actually do it himself. And if this crap is true, why isn't he here now? No wolves to stop him here. Because he's a coward," I yelled.
Jasper shot a wave of calm in my direction but I put my shield up and rejected it. I glared at him to stop because I was over being placated. Jasper sulked in utter defeat.
"Edward sent us ahead to see if it was really you. I guess he wanted us to see if you had changed your mind," Alice answered.
"I can't believe he's fill you full of such bold face lies," I replied.
"Bella, Alice isn't lying. I am sure you are aware that Edward and I have a back story," Tanya asked.
"Yes," I answered.
"He came here well the whole family did, when they left Forks so quickly. I tried then to throw myself at Edward, since it was obvious to me that he was at one of his lowest points to console him. Bella, he didn't want to have anything to do with me and Edward told me that he was devoted to you and he loved you more than any other. In all my years, I have never seen anyone love another person so much. Edward was beating himself up horribly over what he had done and I know myself that he tries 20 or so times in the 3 weeks they stayed with us," Tanya concluded.
I sat there and took all of it in. Could it be true that Edward really had been trying to contact me, that he did love and want me? It was easier to believe the bad that the good. I didn't want to be mad at Alice or Jasper. It had been such a long time since I had seen either of them and I missed them so much. But part of me just couldn't bring myself to accept this story so quickly.
"I just don't know," I said.
"Look, if you won't believe us, there is one more person to ask: Charlie. He knows all about it," Alice replied.
I knew my mouth had to have dropped to my feet. My legs buckled and I fell to the hard floor. Charlie! He had been in on all of this! That was what clinched it for me. It would be just like Charlie to do something just like this. I knew how much he hated Edward for leaving me and even more so for my accident in Phoenix. Charlie thought Edward was why I left Forks to start with. All any of us had been doing was try to save him. Now I was pissed.
"I have to go see Charlie," I said as I jumped to my feet.
"Do you want me to go with you," Alice asked.
"Yes, Charlie loves you. But I want to go now. I don't want to wait not even one more day."
"Jazz, call Edward and tell him what is going on and that he can come and wait for us here," Alice told Jasper.
"Okay but you two need to be careful. Who knows what the dogs will do this time," Jasper added as he quickly kissed Alice.
I nodded to Tanya and then we were gone. We ran all the way back to the Quilette line which is where she stopped me.
"We're about 100 yards from their line," Alice explained.
"And," I asked flustered at being stopped so abruptly.
"And we can't pass it."
"Alice, I don't care anymore what happens."
"But Carlisle does. Besides one of the wolves who I thinks name is Seth is about to come through the trees. He has been sent to talk to you."
Seth at that moment slipped through the trees first in his wolf form and then as a man. Once again he almost looked happy to see me but bristled at Alice's presence.
"Seth, how've you been," I asked trying to be polite.
"Fine. Look Bella, you can't be here," Seth answered stoically.
"I need to get through so I can get some of my things from the house."
"Jake sent it all to Charlie's."
"Well can I at least go there," I asked as waves of anger flowed through me.
"Is she going," he growled while he looked towards Alice.
"Alice? Charlie knows her and he won't mind. Just tell your 'leader' it will be very quick. Trust me; I don't want to anger the pack. And we don't want to break treaty, do we, Alice?"
"No, never," Alice replied, following my example.
"I'll lead you there," Seth said.
"That would be great. If he's not there we'll wait on him. Okay?"
Seth nodded and phased back into a wolf. We took off through the forest and arrived at Charlie's within minutes. Seth once again changed so he could talk to us.
"I'll wait in the woods to lead you back out," he said.
"Thanks for the help, Seth," I answered.
Alice nodded and looked back at me. "So, we'll go in and ambush him?"
"Something like that. Tell me where Edward is," I asked as we searched for the key.
"He's in Napa Valley, California with Carlisle and Esme. Emmett and Rosalie are on another of their extended honeymoons. Jazz and I live with them too when we are not traveling."
"What exactly has he been doing?"
"Working with Carlisle at the hospital, they love having a father/son doctor combo. All the patients love them both. Edward actually has two jobs: one during the day at a clinic in another town and at night at the hospital. That way he doesn't have a lot of down time, he refuses to take any time off so he doesn't have to dwell on his stupidity," Alice explained.
"He's not stupid but I am."
"Now why is that?"
"I let him go and married Jacob."
"So, you want to tell me why you did that?"
"To replace my loss, Jake was a poor substitute for Edward. There was never really any comparison."
"Edward should have pressed the issue more. He was always worried about hurting you, making you mad, or that you would simply hate him."
I sat on the couch once I found the key and unlocked the door. She sat beside of me. Edward thought I would have hated him that was not even remotely possible. I looked around and Charlie's house was surprisingly clean. He obviously hadn't really needed me there to do the cleaning for him. On the mantle were various pictures of me. The one from my wedding had been removed which was great since I didn't feel like being reminded of my mistakes. I leaned back and closed my eyes. Oh what I would have given to be able to sleep through this nightmare!
"Alice, I could never hate Edward," I finally answered.
"Oh, I know. But the question is do you still love him," Alice asked.
"I never stopped."
"Then why marry another man when your heart obviously belonged to another?"
"Edward wasn't here and I thought he didn't love me anymore. What else was I supposed to do?"
"Bella, do you know that he almost went to see the Volturi. He didn't want to live once he knew you had married Jacob. Edward said he didn't want to live in a world where you weren't a part of it."
"Well, when I was turned, I thought of that very same thing.
"See how connected you are to him?"
"Does he like being a doctor?"
"Edward loves helping people and he is very good at it. I might add that he has also stopped playing his piano. He won't even look at it. Edward says that the music has left him."
I sat in silence for a very long time absorbing it all. The sky outside was darkening for an impending rain storm. It was almost eerie. Part of me wanted to forget about facing my father and the other wanted to know why he had done this. The biggest reason for escape was to go back and see if Edward had arrived at Tanya's. Jasper had not called and said whether he had talked with Edward or not, Alice sensed my inpatients and proceeded to strike up a conversation.
"Bella, I thought I saw you have a gift. Care to share," she asked.
"I can put up a shield to protect not only myself but others as well," I answered.
"How many people?"
"Well, everyone in the Denali coven for sure, that's all I've been able to try it on so far."
"Oh. So, where's Irina?"
"She left the day I arrived, said she didn't want to live in the same house as the person who was responsible for killing her mate."
"Oh come on! Laurent wasn't her mate! Irina didn't know him long enough to have any real bond with him."
"Well, she thinks she did. Anyway it made me feel awful."
"I imagine so. I would feel the same way."
"How's Esme and Carlisle?"
"They really miss you. We all left because Edward wanted us to but we put up one hell of a fight. But once he began to try and come home the rest of us were itching to move back. As you know, he kept getting rejected by the pack and Edward didn't want the rest of us to cross the line. Carlisle agreed. But Esme and Carlisle never gave up hope that you'd return to our family. Believe it or not, even Rosalie misses you. When she and Emmett ever decide to call home, she asks about you every single time."
"Well, that is something in itself. I have so missed all of you. I know I've been with the Denali but none of them are your family. No one has ever been more of a sister to me than you have, Alice," I said.
"I feel exactly the same way. Whenever I saw Edward's future, I always saw you in it. Not once did I ever waiver from my vision. Edward would get so very mad at me when I would tell him this, which is usually once or twice a week. He was mainly upset because he couldn't see how it could be lately," Alice replied.
I hear Charlie's cruiser turn the corner as he headed up the street to the house. I sat straight up on the very edge of the couch as did Alice. I had no intention of sugar coating anything. A fight was what I was prepared for because it was what he deserved. I heard him park the car, the door close once he was out, the keys in the door and the front door creaking open. Charlie hung his coat and guns on the hooks close to the door. I wasn't even going to give him a chance to fully enter the house before I began the interrogation.
"Hi, Dad," I huffed as I flipped on the lamp that illuminated Alice and myself.
Charlie looked surprised but happy.
"Bells, it's good to see you kid. Alice, long time no see," he said.
"Yes, it has been a while," Alice answered.
"So, how'd the two of you ever get through the packs line," Charlie asked.
"Seth. I told him I needed to get some of my things. But why I really came here was to find out why you have been lying to me all this time?!"
"What are you talking about, Bella," Charlie demanded.
"You lied to me about Edward! He's been trying since the day he left to come back to me and you knew it! You knew it all along," I yelled.
Alice placed her hand on my shoulder to hold me back from attacking. But I would never attack Charlie even though I was very angry with him. He slumped back in his recliner but I am not sure if it was remorse or shock from me confronting him.
"Bella, you have to know when I saw how you were when he left you alone in the forest, I was mad! Livid to be exact. Actually I don't think I had gotten over him running you off and then you falling down the stairs in Arizona and getting hurt all because of him," Charlie began before I cut him off.
"Dad, I left to protect you. A vampire named James was chasing me and I knew if I came back here he might have very well killed you too and I didn't want that. I knew the only way you would let me leave is to say mean and hurtful things to you, to tell you that I didn't want to be here and be tied down to Edward. We all lied to keep you safe. If I had known you'd have held a grudge this long I'd have just told you the truth," I explained.
"So, he really didn't do anything to Bella," Charlie asked Alice for confirmation.
"No. We thought it was better if you were in the dark. My brother, Edward, has only loved your daughter with all that he is," Alice replied.
"I thought by telling Jacob to keep him out and away from you, you'd be so much better off without him."
"Dad, I loved Edward and he obviously loved me. Why would you keep him from me? Why," I cried with no tears to shed.
"Tough love I guess. Look I know what it's like to love someone and not to have them return it and then leave you. I know it all too well. I didn't want that to be you. So when Jacob called and said that Edward wanted to come through the line, I told him to keep him out. To say anything just so he would not come back here. He called and wrote you, sometime it would be here and others at your house when you were with Jacob. We just lied and said you were somewhere else or just didn't want to talk to him, that you were happy and to leave you alone. And the letters, we returned to sender. But it didn't really stop him. He kept on even after you married Jacob. Once you were, I left it all up to Jake."
I was so mad that I could literally see red. They, Charlie and Jake, had been playing with my life: wrecking it to be exact. Alice shook her head which I guessed was either disgust or to calm down.
"Dad, I don't think I have ever been this upset with you before. I am livid with Jake for doing this. I know you started it all but you only fueled his fire. He's a wolf and vampires are his mortal enemy so it is only natural for him to not want Edward to be in my life. He knew all those years, even when we got married, that Edward wanted me back and Jake continuously refused to let him even talk to me. I think it is time to confront my ex husband," I yelled.
"Bella, I'm sorry. I was only trying to do what I thought was best for you," Charlie replied.
"You were wrong, Dad. Can I use the phone," I said since I had left my own at the Denali's.
He nodded and even dialed Jake's number. When he answered I immediately cringed.
"Hello," Jake answered.
"Hello, Jake," I said.
"Bella, what do you want? Are you still at Charlie's with the little bloodsucker?"
"Yes, Alice is with me. I wonder if I could meet you some place to talk about a few things."
"Where?"
"Since the meadow is a neutral place, what about there?"
"Is the other bloodsucker coming?"
I hated to hear that word used. It was degrading and I would tell him how much I hated it.
"Are the others dogs coming with you?"
I heard him growl. I had hit my mark.
"Yes," Jake hissed.
"Then yes, Alice is coming too."
"Give us 15 minutes," and the line went dead.
I hung up the phone and I knew I didn't need to tell Alice. She heard it loud and clear.
"What do you see," I asked.
Alice began to concentrate really hard. Being these were wolves we were talking about it complicated her visions. When they were human it was easier to see. My choice she could see and Edward's would be clear.
"I see a lot of things at once. A heated argument, a truce, a rescue, forgiveness; there are just too many people changing their minds," Alice explained.
"Well, my mind is made up so you don't have to worry about me. We need to go. Dad, don't go warning the pack," I warned.
"No. I've learned my lesson. Just be careful. Jacob is sure to be extremely angry," Charlie said.
I nodded and Alice ran with me into the rain.