Mabel and Dipper were walking back to the Mystery Shack, laughing at the memory of Thompson getting chased by the Woodstick Festival security team, when a brilliant flash of light stopped them in their tracks.
"Aaagh, I'm blind!" Mabel cried, covering her eyes with her hands. "This is the Love God's revenge for messing with his potions!"
"We're about to be abducted by aliens!" Dipper yelled. "Please don't take us! We haven't solved the mystery of the Author yet!"
"Oh no, no, no! This isn't an abduction!" cried a high-pitched voice.
The voice was familiar. Mabel and Dipper rubbed their eyes and cautiously opened them. Standing in front of them were three people: Blendin Blandin and the two intimidating Time Officers Lolph and Dundgren.
The children gasped. "What did we do this time?" asked Dipper, putting an arm in front of Mabel. "Supposedly?"
Blendin raised his hands. "Oh, this isn't an arrest!" he assured them. "Dundgren and I just accompanied Lolph here for-uh-support!"
Dundgren nodded. He stepped forward and said, "My buddy here just won a Time Wish. He's here to collect."
Lolph nodded. He looked tense. The twins looked nervous at the mention of "He's here to collect."
Dundgren walked back to his partner and said, "You're already here, buddy. Don't waste your Time Wish!"
"Wait, what did you wish for, Mr. Lolph?" Mabel asked, pushing Dipper's arm away. Her curiosity got the better of her.
Lolph took a deep breath and stepped forward. He looked at Mabel and announced, "I'm not HER great-great-great-great-great-great-GREAT grandson."
Mabel snorted and rolled her eyes. "Uh, yeah. We made that up to distract you guys the last time."
Lolph didn't seem to register Mabel's statement. He now looked at Dipper and pointed at him. "I'm HIS great-great-great-great-great-great-GREAT grandson."
The twins' jaws dropped. "WHAT?!"
Lolph looked at Dipper, tears forming in the eye that was not covered by the Time Paradox Avoidance Enforcement Squadron standard issue targeting system eyepatch, and his lower lip trembled. He suddenly swooped down on the twelve-year-old boy and grasped him in a spine-cracking bear hug. "GRAMP-GRAMP!"
Mabel recovered from her shock as her brother was enveloped tightly in Lolph's muscly arms. "Dipper, he's YOUR Lolphy!" she squealed.
All Dipper could say was "Ulk!"
"This is the happiest day of my life!" said Lolph, who was still weeping.
"Hold still, buddy!" said Dundgren. He held a pen-like object and said, "Smile for the camera!"
Mabel jumped forward and smiled next to Lolph's leg as Dundgren pressed something on the pen. A yellow light issued from the pen and scanned everyone it pointed at.
"Ah, memories," said Dundgren, smiling down at the pen. He and Blendin looked at each other with mute understanding. "Welp, time to wipe it!"
"Wait, wha...?!"
XXXXX
Sitting on the couch on the porch while enjoying a cold can of Pitt Cola, Stan saw Mabel and Dipper arriving at the Shack, looking somewhat spaced out.
"Yeesh," said Stan as the kids approached. "What happened to you two?"
The twins looked at each other and said, "Woodstick Festival."
XXXXX
Author's Note: This silly thing first came about as a random headcanon on my Tumblr after watching Blendin's Game. The darn plot point won't go away until I wrote paragraphs for it. Well, I hope you enjoy the silly! This is set after the shenanigans of "The Love God".