Rise of HK-47
"Inquiry: Can I get you a refill, Meatbag?"
"Uh, s-sure," the man replied to the baleful protocol droid. He held his glass out, and the bright red droid ripped it from his hand, then it turned and walked to the mini-bar in the corner of the smoke-filled cantina.
From across the small, circular table the man's wife asked, "I wonder why Bubba hired such a... scrappy droid?"
"I have no idea, but you know those hutts - the penny pushers they are. It called me a... meatbag? What kind of protocol droid refers to humans as meatbags?" The man replied as he gave a sideways glance in the direction of the mini-bar where the peculiar droid was standing, filling his cup with a bright-blue substance. The man looked back at his wife, then down at a gouge in the table. "Oh great, he's filling my cup with Manaan ale, I hate Manaan ale. You know that, Aeris"
Aeris put her hand over mouth and chuckled at her husband. "Yes Ragnar, I know. Oh look, here he comes."
"Great, that droid is probably going to blow my head off." Ragnar said despairingly. The droid approached the table and set Ragnar's glass down in front of him. The vile smell emanating from the glass caused Ragnar to choke almost on reflex.
"Observation: The Meatbag seems uncomfortable. Perhaps the drink is too strong?" The droid said, as it leaned over the table in order to see Ragnar's face.
Ragnar stood up and shoved his chair aside. "Who do you think you are? You... you droid - calling me a Meatbag! What the hell?" Ragnar shouted into the droid's audio receptor.
"Ragnar, calm down." Aeris said as she stood up and walked to Ragnar's side, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Please forgive my husband, he can take things a little too personally." She said looking at the droid from over Ragnar's shoulder.
"Statement: Hostile meatbag targeted - preparing for termination." The droid said as it cocked its head to one side and drew a small black blaster from an unseen holster under its apron.
"Oh, my god. Run Aeris!" The man shouted as he shoved his wife aside and dove backwards. He hit the dusty cantina floor with a thud about ten feet in front of the droid, which pointed its blaster at the man on the floor and pulled the trigger. A bright orange bolt of energy shot forth from the barrel and struck the man in the head.
"N-no! Ragnar!" the woman cried. "You... You animal!" she yelled spitefully into the droid's face. The droid turned to her and cocked its head, and then it shot her in the chest. The woman staggered backwards and fell onto the table, knocking it over with a clatter. Then the droid approached her and shot her twelve more times. The woman's body, having been riddled with blaster bolts, fell to the floor in a bloody heap. The droid flipped its blaster in the air and slid it back into its holster.
"Statement: Meatbags terminated. Confirmed kills: 2." The droid said as it bent over the table and began to pick up the broken dishes that Ragnar and Aeris had been using. By this time, a large crowd of bystanders had formed around the table, having heard the blaster shots.
"What is going on here?" A man dressed in tan and brown robes asked, as he stepped forward from the circle in the direction of the droid. "Where is the owner of this establishment?" The man asked, looking to the crowd in hopes of getting an answer - but nobody responded. "You will tell me who owns this cantina." The man said to a short, fat, and pig-faced alien as he waved his hand in its face. The pig-man grunted a few times in its guttural language, and the man nodded. Just then, a large metallic hover-sled floated into the cantina from the back room, carrying a large, slug-like creature upon it.
"Ho! What's the problem here?" The hutt asked as he opened his tiny arms towards the crowd. The bright red protocol droid continued bussing the table - not even acknowledging the crowd, the man, or his master.
"I take it you're Bubba? My name is Revan. This droid of yours just murdered two people." Revan said. He stepped back and revealed the bodies of Ragnar and Aeris behind him.
"Ho! HK-47, what did you do this time? I told you to leave that blaster at home - knowing your peculiar reflexes." The hutt said with a hint of annoyance in his voice as he approached the man.
"Statement: I'm sorry master, but these meatbags insulted me. You know what happens when I feel insulted - my other subroutines kick in. It isn't my fault that I was programmed with meatbag incompetence." The droid said.
"Woah! HK? That you? Ha-ha, ha! I thought you were destroyed back on Kashyyyk." The man said, turning towards the droid as it stacked glasses from a tray at the mini-bar.
HK-47 dropped the tray and walked over to the man. The crowd of people moved back in futile attempts to get away from the droid. The droid looked the man up and down and then laughed mechanically. "Statement: Are you here to free me, creator? I miss the fun times we had senselessly killing organic meatbags across the entire galaxy."
"So it is you, I'd recognize that derogatory noun anywhere." Revan laughed.
"So, you're an assassin droid after all HK-47?" Bubba asked. "I always thought you were a little... odd. Well, now I guess I'll have to scrap you for a real protocol droid." Bubba said as he grabbed a telecomm from a compartment in his hoverbed. He held the black tube to his mouth and began to speak into it. "Hello? Get the boys down here now."
"Statement: I'm sorry, creator." The droid said to Revan. It pulled a large canister, marked with a flammable warning sticker, from a storage compartment in its chest and hooked the canister into a slot on its back.
"Oh right, I'll wait for you outside HK." Revan said, and he walked to the door. HK-47 held out its right arm and pressed a button on it with its left. A small flame sprouted from the tip of a barrel on the back of HK's hand.
"Statement: Hostile meatbags targeted; preparing for termination." HK said as it squeezed its fingers. A massive jet of flame shot forth from the barrel and began to burn people alive. The people in the crowd screamed and began to push and shove each other out of the way in hopes of escaping the deadly flames. However, the unfortunate people in back were burned to smoldering ashes within seconds as the droid cackled manically, spraying fiery death in a 180-degree radius. Bottles of flammable alcohol exploded on and behind the bar in the middle of the cantina, sending shards of deadly glass at the crowd of people.
As people began pouring out of the cantina Revan, who was waiting outside for his droid, drew a small metallic rod from his belt and pushed a button on it. A beam of red light approximately four feet in length exploded from the tube, and the people stopped dead in their tracks. Some of them attempted to run back inside, but the screams and sounds of exploding glass slightly drowned out by the low rumble of HK's flamethrower forced them to reconsider. With no idea of what to do, most of the people froze. Revan took the opportunity and began slashing people with his lightsaber, searing their flesh and killing them instantly.
Meanwhile, HK-47, which was back inside the cantina, had run out of fuel for its flamethrower and was picking people off with its blaster. "Statement: Smells like BBQ meatbags." HK-47 said manically as it shot the last woman in the back of her head just as she reached the back door. She fell at the doorframe in a lifeless heap. Then the droid turned towards Bubba.
"Uh, ahh, HK-47, stop this madness at once, I command you!" The hutt said as he pointed a finger at the droid. HK-47 laughed, walked over to the hutt's bed, and attached a large anti-personnel mine onto it. "Statement: I'm sorry master, but I would much rather follow in my creator's footsteps. Goodbye." The droid said as it walked out the front door into the street where the whirs and hums of Revan's lightsaber could still be heard. As HK- 47 walked through the door, it stopped and turned back towards Bubba, who was trying in vain to pull the magnetically locked mine off his hoverbed. The droid laughed and said, "Statement: Boom!" as it pressed a button on a remote in its right hand. The hoverbed exploded along with the hutt who was sitting on it, sending fleshy chunks flying in every direction. HK turned and walked out the door into the street.
"HK! Lets get the hell out of here!" Revan yelled as he dodged and deflected blaster bolts with his lightsaber. "Its the police, there's too many of them," Revan said as he darted into a dark alley across the street from the cantina. HK-47 followed, and from the edge of the street, it looked up at the squad of soldiers dressed in brown and silver at the top of a small hill. The soldiers pointed their heavy blasters down the cobblestone street at the assassin droid, which had already begun running for the alley.
"Fire!" A soldier dressed in brown and gold yelled. The other soldiers began shooting at the droid, which took a hit to the torso sending sparks and smoke flying. HK tossed a grenade into the street, and it exploded with a pop, creating a brilliant flash of white light. "Ah, I can't see! Men, charge! Charge!" The commander yelled. "Head them off from the roof, they're heading for the star port."
"Observation: There are too many of them master, we should hijack a speeder from the organic meatbags in order to make our escape." HK said as a blaster bolt deflected harmlessly off its armor.
"Right, I have a better idea: There is a ship at the star port not too far from here which transports people to the Sith home world - we should... board it." Revan said as he looked back and smiled at his assassin droid. Revan and HK-47 ran down the dark, winding alley in the direction of the massive space dock - but there was a problem. "Statement: Creator, my infrared detects multiple meatbags incoming ahead of us - they're trying to cut us off." HK said as it locked and loaded its blaster with a fresh battery.
"Right, I have an idea HK. You run on ahead, I'll meet you in the space dock. I assume you can handle them yourself?" Revan asked sarcastically. The assassin droid laughed and pulled another blaster out of its storage compartment.
"Statement: Not a problem, creator. The meatbags will regret trying to stop us." HK said as it locked and loaded its other blaster. Revan nodded and lept high in the air, disappearing entirely into the night sky. HK continued running down the alley and stopped just before the alley took a sharp bend to the left. The droid turned on its infrared vision and saw six silhouettes, some crouched and some standing, facing the alley from around the bend. The droid kicked a large clump of sand out in front of the six people, and lept out into the cloud of dust. The six men, having been blinded by the sand, didn't get one shot off as HK unloaded bolt after bolt into their unfortunate bodies. The six police officers flew back into the wide, cobblestone street in front of the star port, dead. People in the street began to panic and flee from the scene as HK flipped both its blasters in the air and slid them into their holsters. The droid then walked nonchalantly across the street to the entrance of the star port. "Statement: Hostile meatbags terminated. Confirmed kills-" the droid paused as it saw one of the officers attempting to crawl away. HK put its foot on the man's back, drew its blaster, and shot the man in the back of the head. "Statement: 6."
"There he is! Get him men!" The commander yelled to his men as they unloaded their repeaters at the man in brown robes, who was darting with cat-like grace from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the star port.
"Goddamn those soldiers!" Revan said as his cloak was singed by one of the many blaster bolts flying past him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his feet. All of a sudden, he began to move faster. Revan ran at inhuman speed across the rooftops, and the sluggish soldiers stopped dumbfounded in their tracks.
"Damn, there's no way we can catch that dark jedi now." The commander said as he heaved a sigh. "Men! Get back to the barracks and report to the general on the double!" He said with a wave of dismissal. The soldiers saluted, "Sir!" and ran off towards the military base.
"HK! Where are you!" Revan yelled as he ran down the side of a stucco building across the street from the star port. He stopped for a moment and noticed six bodies lying at the entrance to an alley. He chuckled to himself, "HK, you never cease to amaze me." Then, he ran into the front gate of the star port in order to make his escape.
"Inquiry: Can I get you a refill, Meatbag?"
"Uh, s-sure," the man replied to the baleful protocol droid. He held his glass out, and the bright red droid ripped it from his hand, then it turned and walked to the mini-bar in the corner of the smoke-filled cantina.
From across the small, circular table the man's wife asked, "I wonder why Bubba hired such a... scrappy droid?"
"I have no idea, but you know those hutts - the penny pushers they are. It called me a... meatbag? What kind of protocol droid refers to humans as meatbags?" The man replied as he gave a sideways glance in the direction of the mini-bar where the peculiar droid was standing, filling his cup with a bright-blue substance. The man looked back at his wife, then down at a gouge in the table. "Oh great, he's filling my cup with Manaan ale, I hate Manaan ale. You know that, Aeris"
Aeris put her hand over mouth and chuckled at her husband. "Yes Ragnar, I know. Oh look, here he comes."
"Great, that droid is probably going to blow my head off." Ragnar said despairingly. The droid approached the table and set Ragnar's glass down in front of him. The vile smell emanating from the glass caused Ragnar to choke almost on reflex.
"Observation: The Meatbag seems uncomfortable. Perhaps the drink is too strong?" The droid said, as it leaned over the table in order to see Ragnar's face.
Ragnar stood up and shoved his chair aside. "Who do you think you are? You... you droid - calling me a Meatbag! What the hell?" Ragnar shouted into the droid's audio receptor.
"Ragnar, calm down." Aeris said as she stood up and walked to Ragnar's side, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Please forgive my husband, he can take things a little too personally." She said looking at the droid from over Ragnar's shoulder.
"Statement: Hostile meatbag targeted - preparing for termination." The droid said as it cocked its head to one side and drew a small black blaster from an unseen holster under its apron.
"Oh, my god. Run Aeris!" The man shouted as he shoved his wife aside and dove backwards. He hit the dusty cantina floor with a thud about ten feet in front of the droid, which pointed its blaster at the man on the floor and pulled the trigger. A bright orange bolt of energy shot forth from the barrel and struck the man in the head.
"N-no! Ragnar!" the woman cried. "You... You animal!" she yelled spitefully into the droid's face. The droid turned to her and cocked its head, and then it shot her in the chest. The woman staggered backwards and fell onto the table, knocking it over with a clatter. Then the droid approached her and shot her twelve more times. The woman's body, having been riddled with blaster bolts, fell to the floor in a bloody heap. The droid flipped its blaster in the air and slid it back into its holster.
"Statement: Meatbags terminated. Confirmed kills: 2." The droid said as it bent over the table and began to pick up the broken dishes that Ragnar and Aeris had been using. By this time, a large crowd of bystanders had formed around the table, having heard the blaster shots.
"What is going on here?" A man dressed in tan and brown robes asked, as he stepped forward from the circle in the direction of the droid. "Where is the owner of this establishment?" The man asked, looking to the crowd in hopes of getting an answer - but nobody responded. "You will tell me who owns this cantina." The man said to a short, fat, and pig-faced alien as he waved his hand in its face. The pig-man grunted a few times in its guttural language, and the man nodded. Just then, a large metallic hover-sled floated into the cantina from the back room, carrying a large, slug-like creature upon it.
"Ho! What's the problem here?" The hutt asked as he opened his tiny arms towards the crowd. The bright red protocol droid continued bussing the table - not even acknowledging the crowd, the man, or his master.
"I take it you're Bubba? My name is Revan. This droid of yours just murdered two people." Revan said. He stepped back and revealed the bodies of Ragnar and Aeris behind him.
"Ho! HK-47, what did you do this time? I told you to leave that blaster at home - knowing your peculiar reflexes." The hutt said with a hint of annoyance in his voice as he approached the man.
"Statement: I'm sorry master, but these meatbags insulted me. You know what happens when I feel insulted - my other subroutines kick in. It isn't my fault that I was programmed with meatbag incompetence." The droid said.
"Woah! HK? That you? Ha-ha, ha! I thought you were destroyed back on Kashyyyk." The man said, turning towards the droid as it stacked glasses from a tray at the mini-bar.
HK-47 dropped the tray and walked over to the man. The crowd of people moved back in futile attempts to get away from the droid. The droid looked the man up and down and then laughed mechanically. "Statement: Are you here to free me, creator? I miss the fun times we had senselessly killing organic meatbags across the entire galaxy."
"So it is you, I'd recognize that derogatory noun anywhere." Revan laughed.
"So, you're an assassin droid after all HK-47?" Bubba asked. "I always thought you were a little... odd. Well, now I guess I'll have to scrap you for a real protocol droid." Bubba said as he grabbed a telecomm from a compartment in his hoverbed. He held the black tube to his mouth and began to speak into it. "Hello? Get the boys down here now."
"Statement: I'm sorry, creator." The droid said to Revan. It pulled a large canister, marked with a flammable warning sticker, from a storage compartment in its chest and hooked the canister into a slot on its back.
"Oh right, I'll wait for you outside HK." Revan said, and he walked to the door. HK-47 held out its right arm and pressed a button on it with its left. A small flame sprouted from the tip of a barrel on the back of HK's hand.
"Statement: Hostile meatbags targeted; preparing for termination." HK said as it squeezed its fingers. A massive jet of flame shot forth from the barrel and began to burn people alive. The people in the crowd screamed and began to push and shove each other out of the way in hopes of escaping the deadly flames. However, the unfortunate people in back were burned to smoldering ashes within seconds as the droid cackled manically, spraying fiery death in a 180-degree radius. Bottles of flammable alcohol exploded on and behind the bar in the middle of the cantina, sending shards of deadly glass at the crowd of people.
As people began pouring out of the cantina Revan, who was waiting outside for his droid, drew a small metallic rod from his belt and pushed a button on it. A beam of red light approximately four feet in length exploded from the tube, and the people stopped dead in their tracks. Some of them attempted to run back inside, but the screams and sounds of exploding glass slightly drowned out by the low rumble of HK's flamethrower forced them to reconsider. With no idea of what to do, most of the people froze. Revan took the opportunity and began slashing people with his lightsaber, searing their flesh and killing them instantly.
Meanwhile, HK-47, which was back inside the cantina, had run out of fuel for its flamethrower and was picking people off with its blaster. "Statement: Smells like BBQ meatbags." HK-47 said manically as it shot the last woman in the back of her head just as she reached the back door. She fell at the doorframe in a lifeless heap. Then the droid turned towards Bubba.
"Uh, ahh, HK-47, stop this madness at once, I command you!" The hutt said as he pointed a finger at the droid. HK-47 laughed, walked over to the hutt's bed, and attached a large anti-personnel mine onto it. "Statement: I'm sorry master, but I would much rather follow in my creator's footsteps. Goodbye." The droid said as it walked out the front door into the street where the whirs and hums of Revan's lightsaber could still be heard. As HK- 47 walked through the door, it stopped and turned back towards Bubba, who was trying in vain to pull the magnetically locked mine off his hoverbed. The droid laughed and said, "Statement: Boom!" as it pressed a button on a remote in its right hand. The hoverbed exploded along with the hutt who was sitting on it, sending fleshy chunks flying in every direction. HK turned and walked out the door into the street.
"HK! Lets get the hell out of here!" Revan yelled as he dodged and deflected blaster bolts with his lightsaber. "Its the police, there's too many of them," Revan said as he darted into a dark alley across the street from the cantina. HK-47 followed, and from the edge of the street, it looked up at the squad of soldiers dressed in brown and silver at the top of a small hill. The soldiers pointed their heavy blasters down the cobblestone street at the assassin droid, which had already begun running for the alley.
"Fire!" A soldier dressed in brown and gold yelled. The other soldiers began shooting at the droid, which took a hit to the torso sending sparks and smoke flying. HK tossed a grenade into the street, and it exploded with a pop, creating a brilliant flash of white light. "Ah, I can't see! Men, charge! Charge!" The commander yelled. "Head them off from the roof, they're heading for the star port."
"Observation: There are too many of them master, we should hijack a speeder from the organic meatbags in order to make our escape." HK said as a blaster bolt deflected harmlessly off its armor.
"Right, I have a better idea: There is a ship at the star port not too far from here which transports people to the Sith home world - we should... board it." Revan said as he looked back and smiled at his assassin droid. Revan and HK-47 ran down the dark, winding alley in the direction of the massive space dock - but there was a problem. "Statement: Creator, my infrared detects multiple meatbags incoming ahead of us - they're trying to cut us off." HK said as it locked and loaded its blaster with a fresh battery.
"Right, I have an idea HK. You run on ahead, I'll meet you in the space dock. I assume you can handle them yourself?" Revan asked sarcastically. The assassin droid laughed and pulled another blaster out of its storage compartment.
"Statement: Not a problem, creator. The meatbags will regret trying to stop us." HK said as it locked and loaded its other blaster. Revan nodded and lept high in the air, disappearing entirely into the night sky. HK continued running down the alley and stopped just before the alley took a sharp bend to the left. The droid turned on its infrared vision and saw six silhouettes, some crouched and some standing, facing the alley from around the bend. The droid kicked a large clump of sand out in front of the six people, and lept out into the cloud of dust. The six men, having been blinded by the sand, didn't get one shot off as HK unloaded bolt after bolt into their unfortunate bodies. The six police officers flew back into the wide, cobblestone street in front of the star port, dead. People in the street began to panic and flee from the scene as HK flipped both its blasters in the air and slid them into their holsters. The droid then walked nonchalantly across the street to the entrance of the star port. "Statement: Hostile meatbags terminated. Confirmed kills-" the droid paused as it saw one of the officers attempting to crawl away. HK put its foot on the man's back, drew its blaster, and shot the man in the back of the head. "Statement: 6."
"There he is! Get him men!" The commander yelled to his men as they unloaded their repeaters at the man in brown robes, who was darting with cat-like grace from rooftop to rooftop in the direction of the star port.
"Goddamn those soldiers!" Revan said as his cloak was singed by one of the many blaster bolts flying past him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his feet. All of a sudden, he began to move faster. Revan ran at inhuman speed across the rooftops, and the sluggish soldiers stopped dumbfounded in their tracks.
"Damn, there's no way we can catch that dark jedi now." The commander said as he heaved a sigh. "Men! Get back to the barracks and report to the general on the double!" He said with a wave of dismissal. The soldiers saluted, "Sir!" and ran off towards the military base.
"HK! Where are you!" Revan yelled as he ran down the side of a stucco building across the street from the star port. He stopped for a moment and noticed six bodies lying at the entrance to an alley. He chuckled to himself, "HK, you never cease to amaze me." Then, he ran into the front gate of the star port in order to make his escape.