Allison is not dead. You do not wake up screaming in the middle of the night.
She's haunting your dreams, and you hate yourself because it's your fault.
Because if she wasn't so focused on saving you, maybe she would have seen it coming.
It doesn't matter anymore.
Allison is not dead. Scott does not stare at the cracks in his ceiling all night. He does not ignore you. You do not ignore him.
Every day you wake up and get sucker-punched in the face by reality. And you smile, because you've been going crazy for a while.
And even though you're alone, you're not lonely. You don't notice it.
Allison is not dead.
It's not losing a person, it's not losing a friend. It's losing yourself. You saw yourself in her, really figured out who you were, why you mattered. And now the mirror's cracked, shards of glass missing.
When Scott goes to the cemetery, he doesn't invite you. But you go along anyway.
You both lost an irreplaceable girl, and now all you have is him.
That's how it's been, how it's always been. And he places a flower next to her name and you squish your eyes until everything is dark and you hate to think that Allison is surrounded by, that. She deserved heaven.
Allison is not dead. Not even a little bit. Not even at all.
My take on the Allison death
Sadness doesn't begin to describe my feelings
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