1- Car crash: mother dies, daughter survives [1]
Disclaimer: I don't own Bones or anything actually. I have no beta reader, so all remaining mistakes are mine. *sorry*
Acknowledgments: I have to confess that I didn't do this alone. Super duper special thanks to bruninhagalle, for giving me all those awesome ideas. Thanks for bearing with me, thanks for all the playlists and: thanks for reading/rereading all the things I sent you! Means a lot, Galle!
A/N: This all happens three months after Brennan left with Christine.
The last time he saw her was three months ago. He could still feel her body close to his. He could still smell her scent every time he put his head on his pillow and stared at an empty space on their bed. He could still see her waking up, always before him, walking towards the bathroom, trying to wake him up by talking to him while brushing her teeth. He could still smell the aroma of the morning coffee she was used to prepare before he would even go downstairs.
She was focused on the task at hand, her brows furrowed like they always did when nothing else mattered except for what she was doing. But even if the task was important, she didn't resist the occasional glances in her daughter's direction. One look at the baby's eyes and she would feel fine and bad at the same time: those eyes were a constant reminder of what she left behind, the man she couldn't spend a day without missing. She even told him their child had his eyes and she hadn't lied. This time, once glance meant one distraction, and the distraction lead to a disaster.
He missed it all. He missed her kisses, he missed wrapping her in his arms so she could sleep peacefully, he missed the times she would snuggled her nose into the crook of his neck, so then she could smell his cologne. He just missed her, like he always did when she wasn't around.
She saw the lights dimming. Everything went dark. She couldn't see Christine anymore, but she knew her daughter was there, just fine, because she could hear her screaming. Her legs went numb, and she was feeling an excruciating pain in her index finger. Next thing she remember was trying to reach for Christine's foot, to calm her down, since she wasn't able to bear Christine's weight, because – somehow- she couldn't move her legs.
The only thing he wanted the most now was to get his girls back. To see Christine, to hold her in his arms. To tell her that, despite all that happened, he was still her father and that he never meant any of these to happen. He just wanted to find them and tell them to come home, because during these three months, he kept blaming himself for not being able to protect them.
The only thing she wanted the most now was to feel Booth's arms around her. She didn't know why, but since they got together, there was only one thing she was afraid of: being left in the dark when he wasn't around. Maybe because it reminded her of her lonely days. Maybe because he was the one who brought her out of the dark. But there she was, fighting her biggest fear. Trying to figure out what had happened. Why did the lights go out? There was no storm coming, no sign of a windy night. She hadn't seen anyone or anything coming in their direction.
Rebecca left Parker with Booth for a whole week, because she thought it would help him see that he wasn't alone in this and that he was still the same good FBI agent he has always been. In fact, it did help Booth to get through the days. He was having a good time spending his days watching over Parker, helping him with homework, taking him to practice and from practice. He was dealing with the pain just fine until that morning. Until he suddenly decided to turn on the TV while he was preparing Parker's breakfast.
"Parker, make sure you won't put your sleeve on your pancakes, otherwise you'll have to…"
Booth froze. He was drying a plate when he sighted the headlines. Breaking news shining in read letters.
Car Crash: mother dies, daughter survives.
"We have no ID on the victims from last night's car crash here in Wilmington, North Carolina. The only thing we know is that the driver, a woman, is dead and the baby, a little girl, is alive. The woman had no ID with her, no wallet, no credit card, nothing that could link her to anyone. The police is still investigating the case. Paramedics say the little girl might be around 8 months old now. A local inhabitant said that, judging by the car and the descriptions in the victims, it might be Mrs. Harris, a science professor in the local community college. Mrs. Harris had moved in three months ago, when her husband suddenly died in a car crash, leaving her and her little baby girl alone."
He took off as fast as he could. He didn't say anything, he didn't look for anyone. He left Parker there, sitting by the table, alone. No one but himself knew what was going on. It might have sounded stupid, but it was pretty clear to Booth that those victims could be who he thought they were. A science professor, a baby, a car, North Carolina. He knew it could be them, because everything matched, but he was praying that it was his overprotectiveness acting again.
He put the keys in the ignition and ran away. He would find them, no matter what it would take him. He needed them back. He needed to look at them, even if it was to say goodbye, even if it was to go to a morgue to identify that woman's body as being Brennan's corpse.
He stopped on the highway. What was he doing? He had left his son all alone to drive his way down to North Carolina, because he thought that it could be Brennan and Christine.
And, as it always happens when he is having a hard time, it started to rain. A pouring rain. He couldn't even see a finger in front of his eyes. So he had to stay there, parked with the lights on, alone, frightened, sad. Everything came to his mind. The first time they met, their first kiss under a pouring rain, her sweet cotton candy smell, the taste of her mouth, Christine's birth, Christine's baby smell when she was snuggling her head in the crook of his neck, just like Brennan used to snuggle. He just stood there, with his hands on the steering wheel, his mind filled by all those memories.
"New memories, new life." – She said, looking into his eyes when he told her they could have whatever life they wanted to.
And that particular memory made him fall apart. During all those months, he hadn't cried. He kept it all inside. He didn't talk; he didn't feel sad about it, he was mad, tough. He wanted to be the strong, the tough guy everyone thought him to be. But this acting was killing him from the inside out. He promised her they could have whatever life they wanted. But, now, this was what their lives had turned out to be.
To break the ice, his cell phone rang. It was Angela. He hesitated, but ended up picking it up.
"Booth."- he said.
"Where the hell have you been? Parker called me saying you went out without saying a word. He was terrified, Booth. He said he had never seen you acting like this. What happened?"
He didn't know where to start from. Maybe he should just say to Angela that his partner, her best friend, could be dead somewhere in North Carolina. That his daughter was under someone's care, because they weren't able to ID her, so they weren't able to contact anyone.
"Have you heard the news about a car crash in North Carolina?"
"What does it have to do with the fact that you just vanished?"
"EVERYTHING, Angela."
He yelled at her. He had never yelled at Angela during all those years. But, for a good reason, now he had. It wasn't her fault, he knew it. But she was there, in the middle of his break down and he felt like yelling at someone. He knew it wasn't rational, Brennan would have told him that, but she wasn't there to do it.
"Okay, why don't you just calm down and tell me what's going on? Do you want me to go pick you up?"
"Angela, you listen to me, okay? There is a woman dead in North Carolina. She died in a car crash. There was a baby girl on the back seat of that car, she is alive."
"Right. Car crashes happen all the time, Booth. You know that."
"That's not the point. The thing is…"- he sighed, Angela could tell he was almost crying – "The thing is, this woman was a science professor at the local Community College. They said she was new in the area, that she started working there three months ago."
"And what are you waiting for? You're an FBI agent, for Christ's sake, Booth. Just pull some strings and find out. You shouldn't have done what you did. Letting Parker here, alone, while Pelant is still out there. This is the stupidest thing you've ever done. Oh, wait, not the stupidest. The stupidest was asking Hannah to marry you. Anyways, don't come lecture me with "You know how much I miss Bones and Christine. You know it took me a lot of time to finally be with her and bla bla bla…", because she is my best friend and I do miss her, a lot. But I wouldn't just go running after some stupid history, because I thought it might be her."- Angela stopped to breathe. She didn't know what was going on. She would never say something like that, but now it was different. Her best friend was missing. No one knew where she was. No one had heard anything from Brennan for three months. What if Brennan was actually the victim of that car crash?
The silence filled the space between them. Booth didn't say anything, Angela just kept breathing. What was going on? Not knowing where Brennan was was killing every single person that knew her. Was she okay? Was she still breathing? How was Christine? Was she talking already? Was she giving her first steps?
The thought of missing his daughter's first words and steps was killing him. Judging by her mother, Christine would be an intelligent child, therefore she was probably talking by now, or even probably trying to get up on her own two feet and he wasn't there to catch her if she would fall. He wouldn't be there to see her say "da-da". Would she ever say "da-da"? Would she ever remember he was her dad? Last time he saw her, she was only 5 months old. But, again, this was just his mind overreacting. Of course she would remember who he was. Of course she would end up calling him dad. Of course she would hold his hand to cross the street and rely on him to keep her equilibrium, until she was old enough to walk on her own two feet.
He suddenly emerged from his thoughts. Angela was still hanging in there, praying for her words to have some effect on his unthoughtful mind.
"It's not like that, Angela. I know I overreacted, but you have no right to tell me how to react. You wanna know why I did that? You wanna know why I'm parked here, in the middle of nowhere, during a pouring rain? I'm parked here because I decided to go after my missing partner and child. I'm parked here, because when I asked my son to turn on the TV this morning, to watch the news, I almost fell down my knees because the anchor said they had horrible news to share with us. And when that woman fucking pronounced the words "Car crash: mother dies, daughter survives" and "North Carolina", my whole world turned upside down. You don't know the fucking reason for my overreaction Angela. But I can spell it our right now."-Booth slammed the steering wheel, he was mad at some people, he was upset with others, but – mainly – he was feeling powerless, because everybody he loved was vanishing in front of him and he weren't able to do anything about it – "Once, after a rendezvous – a few months before Brennan find out she was pregnant – I asked her where she'd go if she had to hide. My intention was to take her there and spend a whole weekend hiding from the civilization, not having to worry about people seeing us together. I wanted a time for the two of us and nothing else. I wanted the world to revolve around us. And do you know what she said?"- He stared at nowhere, waiting for an answer.
"What did she say, Booth?"
"She said she would go to North Carolina. She said that, once when she was terrified with a test she had to take, she drove down there, just to go to the beach and stare the waves breaking on the shore. She said it calmed her down. She said that it felt like the whole world had stopped, that – in that place – seemed like people weren't staring at her, seemed like she was just Temperance Brennan, a youth student, not Temperance Brennan, the brilliant student who was abandoned by her parents. She told me that – if someday - she had to hide from something; she would go to North Carolina, to watch the sea erasing her foot-prints, because when it did that, she felt like her whole past was being erased. She felt like her whole world was turned right side up. And you wanna know what's even worse, Angela?"
"I can't imagine something even worse, Booth."
"But there is something even worse, Angela. On the week before this whole Pelant thing, we took Christine to the beach. It wasn't North Carolina, but it was the beach. And guess what? I held her in my arms. Actually, Bones told me we should start motivating her to start walking, so I knelt down on the sand, took her little sandals off and held her by her hands, while she was trying to keep her legs straight. She gave a little first step, but – of course – she wasn't ready for it yet, so she started crying when I almost let her fall. I grabbed her in my arms again and showed her the little foot-step she left in the sand. Brennan even took a picture of it and we were intending to print the photo and held it on the wall next to the stairs, but we didn't get the chance to do it. Christine loves the beach, Angela. That's even worse, because now everything makes sense. And, you might be asking yourself: "Why didn't you go there instead? Why didn't you go to North Carolina to find them?". I did go to North Carolina, I looked for them like crazy, but I didn't find anything. I didn't find anything because Bones is smarter then I am. She knows she is dealing with a genius. She knows she has to hide very well. And I'm thankful that I didn't find her, because if I could find her, everyone that is after her would be able to find her too and then we would be kept apart again."
They both sighed. Angela didn't know what to say. All those words felt like a knife stabbing her multiple times.
"Booth, this isn't fair. I say this to Hodgins every night before we go to bed. Life isn't fair, Booth. Nothing is freaking fair. We are the ones who catch the bad guys, we are the ones who make the world a safer place and we always and up hurting ourselves, losing someone. It's like a tornado reaches us every time a new serial killer comes out of his shabby little world. Every single time someone gets hurt, but we gotta keep doing what we do, because we make the world a better place. That's what keeps me carrying on."
"What do you mean, Angela?"
"That you have to come back here and pull some strings to find out if Brennan is hiding somewhere in North Carolina. As her best friend I can say this is what she is expecting you to do. It's time for her to come back. Or at least, it's time for you to talk to her and keep in touch while we try to gather enough evidence to clear her name and allow her to come back to her normal life. Be her lover, Booth. Screw the protocol, screw the FBI. You're smart enough to hide your own traces, just find her. Just get your family back and we'll do the rest. I promise."
It was a ceasing rain now. Booth turned the keys that were still in the ignition and started the car. He turned around and went back. He was mad, angry, sad, everything at the same time.
What Angela just said was true. They were the ones who make the world a better place and they always ended up hurting themselves.
She felt the warmth of her own blood coming down her hand. How could she get so distracted? She shouldn't have glanced away from what she was doing, because she knew that a distraction always lead to a disaster. She pressed her finger really tight, to stanch her bleeding, to reduce the pain. Her legs were still numb, but now she was holding Christine's foot, so the child stopped crying.
Traffic lights were pointing at her through the window's glass. What was it? The police? But there was no siren, no blue and red lights.
Suddenly, everything went dark again. And she was back, stuck, in her biggest fear: being left in the dark when Booth wasn't around to tell her it was ok.