Just Close Your Eyes… and I'll be there
By RocketFAN
Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars or its characters. I just like to borrow them for my own twisted pleasure.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
"It… it's too late… promise me you will train the boy… he is the chosen one… train him…," Qui-Gon Jinn's last words were soft and full of pain. His grey eyes lost all their shimmer and Obi-Wan Kenobi felt his master's last breath leave him as his body became heavy in his arms. The young Jedi's life would never be the same again… the pain of losing the only person he had ever known as a father would follow him for the rest of his life.
"No…," Obi-Wan sobbed helplessly as he cradled his master's body, begging him to come back, though he knew it was a futile effort.
~5 years later~
Obi-Wan Kenobi was now a Jedi Knight with a 14-year-old Padawan of his own. Anakin Skywalker had been his apprentice since the day Qui-Gon had died. He had given his word to his dying master that he would train Anakin at his last request. However, even with his status of Jedi Knight and his own Padawan Learner, Obi-Wan still felt the pain of Qui-Gon's death as if it happened yesterday. Anakin had caught his master crying a few times and had attempted to offer him comfort in any way he could. And although Obi-Wan seemed to genuinely appreciate his comfort, he often requested to just be left alone when he was in this state.
Obi-Wan was once again woken in the middle of the night by the image of his master being killed at the hands of the Sith Lord, Darth Maul, while he helplessly watched from behind the one force field he failed to get passed.
"If only I had been faster! If I had been faster, I would have cleared that force field and he would still be alive!" Obi-Wan blamed himself for Qui-Gon's death everyday since he was killed. The words repeating themselves like a never-ending loop in his head: "If only I had been quicker… If only I had been stronger… If only…," tears began to fall from his ice blue eyes as he sat up in his bed. He pulled his knees into his chest and sobbed quietly into his hands as to not wake Anakin, who was sleeping in the room next door.
"Obi-Wan?" A strong, familiar voice called in the darkness of the late hour.
"Wha… who is there?" Obi-Wan thought he was hearing things. Nevertheless, he switched on the light and saw a sight that caused him to gasp in shock.
"M…master? Master, is that you?" He added while rubbing the blur from his tired eyes.
"Yes, Obi-Wan, it's me," Qui-Gon replied with a small smile as Obi-Wan studied him. He looked exactly like he did the last time Obi-Wan saw him. Only something was different about him… his face was no longer tired as it often was when he was alive. His grey eyes were peaceful and projected a calm that filled the room.
"Wha… what are you doing here?" Obi-Wan asked softly, still thinking he was dreaming.
"I just can't stand to watch you do this to yourself anymore, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon replied while taking a seat next to the younger Jedi.
"What do you mean?" Obi-wan said while wiping a few stray tears from his eyes.
"It's been over five years, Obi-Wan. And you have cried for me every single day of those five long years". Qui-Gon said sympathetically while placing a tender hand on Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"I… I miss you," Obi-Wan said softly as he gave into his emotions and let the tears fall.
"I know you do, Obi-Wan. But you can't live like this anymore. You need to stop blaming yourself for my death. It wasn't your fault," Qui-Gon wrapped his arm around Obi-Wan and pulled him close. His former master's arm around him was the biggest comfort that Obi-Wan could have possibly felt.
"I wish I could believe you, master," Obi-Wan said with a deep sigh.
"Obi-Wan… Anakin needs you to be strong for him. You are a Jedi Knight now with a young Padawan who is still mourning the loss of his mother. You are no longer a Jedi apprentice who can get away with showing some weakness. I understand you are hurting, but it's time for you to let go of what is gone and move on with your life," Qui-Gon was always known for his wisdom, and now Obi-Wan understood why.
"I don't know if I can let you go, master," Obi-Wan said softly while shaking his hung head.
"I see you inherited my stubbornness," Qui-Gon said with a small chuckle as he patted Obi-Wan's shoulder.
"As well as your compassion. I believe that is why this is so hard for me," Obi-Wan's voice faltered slightly at those last few words. And though his tears had stopped, his eyes became glassy as he fought them back.
"Listen to me, Obi-Wan… you need to get on with your life and be a master to Anakin. By wallowing in your sadness, you are neither helping him or yourself," Qui-Gon stood to face his former apprentice while firmly placing his hands on both the young man's shoulders as he stood as well.
"Yes, master," Obi-Wan whimpered softly as he could no longer fight his tears.
"You'll be okay, I promise," Qui-Gon said while taking Obi-Wan's face in his hands.
"Will I ever see you again?" Obi-Wan said as he finally looked Qui-Gon in the eye.
"Anytime you want," Qui-Gon replied with a small smile.
"How?" Obi-Wan's face was now streaming with tears.
"Just close your eyes… and I'll be there," Qui-Gon said softly while wiping the tears from his former Padawan's face.
With a small, reassuring nod from Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon smiled… and disappeared.
"Good-bye master," Obi-Wan had finally found closure with Qui-Gon's death. For the first time in five long and painful years, he finally came to terms with his master's death. For the first time in five years… he found peace.
A/N: This is my first Star Wars fanfic so please be kind!