Hi, everyone! My name is Hiyono and I am 16. Yet another morning in my life! Wake up and fix yourself your breakfast. No time to fix up lunch for school. That's why I always steal Ayumu's lunch. Oh, and because he is an excellent cook. Yumm! Ayumu or Narumi-san as I always call him is my best friend. Actually, he is my only friend…I consider him as a friend anyway. I don't know how he feels about me but it is not very promising. I wish I would know…I love him from quite some time, though I would never admit it. Why should I? He doesn't love me…no one does (sigh). My elder brother did, but he died yesterday in a car crash. Damn those drunk drivers. I haven't told anyone yet. I don't think I will. So now, since I have no family (my parents died when I was little) and no one who loves me and cares about me, I feel somewhat depressed. Actually, "somewhat" is too little comparing the way I really feel right now. I slept only 2 hours last night and I don't have any desire of living for the moment. And yet, I have to go and face the world again. So I skip breakfast, get dressed and go to school.
Finally, school sweet school! How am I going to face Ayumu today? Will he realize how red my eyes are? Should I tell him how I feel? No, I guess I shouldn't. I am annoying when I am cheerful. I can only imagine how annoying I am when I am depressed. Solution: I am going to act like nothing has happened.
While thinking about you, Ayumu, I spot you near the school, just watching the scenery. I always loved the lines that appear on your forehead when you are concentrating. It feels weird not running towards you. I feel like a dumbass sitting here and examining you. Why am I so afraid to face you? Am I afraid that you will see right through me? Am I afraid I would have to talk about my feelings? Why can't I smile anymore? Why can't I pretend I'm fine?
Standing here like a fool, you spot me. And I can't look away form your eyes. I feel understanding between us. Do you feel it too? It's weird looking into your eyes like this. Usually, the only thing I see is your back. Do you hear it now? Do you hear my cry for help?
My knees are starting to shake. I can feel tears forming into my eyes. And I don't look away from you. Yet, still, I can't talk to you. You'll probably be disappointed of what you hear. I'm sorry but I can't cheer you up anymore. Not now! I need to get away! I must! And before I know it, my feet are starting to get the command.
As I run, I feel the rain pouring on my face. When did it start raining in the first place? No more! I can't live like this anymore! Why can't anyone hear my pain? They probably hear only the crazy girl running down the rainy streets, soaked to the skin. Where am I going? To tell you the truth, I don't know and I don't care. My legs seem to know where to take me and that's enough for me.
What does my dear Ayumu think about me now, running off like this? "Stupid girl!" he would say. And he is right. I am stupid. Stupid enough to try to live through all this alone! So I run. I run as fast as I can, though my legs are begging me to stop. But I can't stop. They will understand eventually. I am wrong…they don't give me a second chance and I collapse in the middle of an empty park. I can't take it anymore and I hear sobs escape from my lips. Am I really the one who is crying so loudly? There's no one around so I must be.
Am I really alone? I think I hear footsteps behind me. I can barely hear them through my sobs but I feel someone's presence.
'Hyono!'
I stop crying because of the shock. Never in his life has he called me by my name. Usually I am "you" or "hey" to him. His voice is so soft, so caring. Why, Ayumu? But I still refuse to look at you. I don't want to!
As I get up and start running again, you grab my wrist. Though I struggle and beg you to let me go, you keep your grip tight. I finally give up my pointless struggle and, instead, I start crying again. I can't look at you! I can't bear to see the annoyance that you sometimes hold in your eyes.
Surprisingly, I feel two arms around me, which determine me to get closer to you. I can hear your heart beat with my ear now. It beats so fast. I like it when you hug me tight. Though it makes me feel better, I cry harder into your chest. Ayumu, you make me do the stupidest things.
You hug me even tighter, like you are afraid to let go. I can feel your chin on top of my head. I never noticed how tall you were before.
'Shh! It's ok! I am here!'I hear you say to me. I never felt so safe in my life, not even when I was a child. I don't feel like crying anymore. All I want is to feel your arms around me. So we remain embraced, in this comfortable silence, as the rain falls on our bodies.
I feel I can look into your eyes again and when I do it, you give me a short smile. Your eyes have never expressed so much emotion before. Are you pitying me or is it something more?
'You run fast'
'I didn't notice'
'I had great difficulty keeping up'
I blush. Did he do that just to talk to me?
'Do you want to tell me what happened?'
I can't tell him "no". His voice is so kind that I would be a monster if I just turn him down.
'I just…my brother died yesterday. He was never around, but he loved me. And I loved him. My parents are dead too. Now I fear that there is no other person left who feels this way about me.'
There, I said it. Now, you can judge me.
'Stupid girl!' There, told you that is what you were going to say. But now, you do the strangest thing. You grab my chin and make me look at you again.
'You are wrong! I love you!'
You do? I ask myself. But I don't have time to think as I feel your warm lips onto mine. So soft! So sweet!
When we finally stop, I tell you the same thing: how much I love you. I see happiness in your eyes and my heart is starting to grow (like in Grinch ) Where you my key all along?
'You are right, Ayumu! I was stupid' I say between laughs.
So here we are, in the park, in the rain, you kissing me passionately again and again. Now I know. I was never alone.
The End.