Title: Five Ways Josh Tries To Tell Drake His Feelings And One Way Drake Actually Does (With A Little Help From Megan)
Fandom: Drake and Josh
Genre: light slash
Rating: T
Pairings: Drake/Josh
Summary: "Ours is a love that dare not speak its name." Josh declared theatrically, with a gesture.
Disclaimer: I do not own Drake & Josh.
Author's Notes: The title is the plot and the story is the details - enjoy.

I.

"Ours is a love that dare not speak its name." Josh declared theatrically, with a gesture. To the window.

"What? Your thing for Oprah?" Drake's amused voice drifts over to him.

"Drake!" Josh cries out, spinning around to face him, hand flying to his chest (where his heart use to be, but it flew out and landed in front of Drake, waiting to be crushed or caressed).

His brother mimics the expression and position and with just as much gusto, "Josh!"

A pause.

"You alright, man?" Drake asks, concerned and looking at Josh with a little confusion.

Josh drops his hand and starts breathing again, "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"What, are you rehearsing something?" Drake's face scrunches adorably in thought, "There aren't any plays coming up, are there?"

Josh hesitates - should he just come out and say it?

"Drake-"

"Boobs!" Megan's voice booms rather loudly for an eleven year old, causing the brothers to jump, startled (and, Josh will admit, a little in fear).

"What do you want, Megan?" Drake demands carelessly.

"Dinner's ready." she responds pleasantly.

She's up to something, Josh thinks, then says, "How do you know-"

"Kids! Dinner!" Audrey, their mother, calls from downstairs.

Megan smirks, "I know everything."

"Evil," Drake hisses at her, wiggling his fingers in her direction.

II.

"This is Megan's fault!" Drake yells and pounds on the door.

Josh sighs - what is with the two of them and being locked in small quarters?

"Isn't Megan at oboe practice now?" Josh wondered aloud softly.

"Doesn't matter - she has eyes everywhere." Drake turned to him, expression serious and eyes wide.

"I think you're getting a little too paranoid for your own good, Drake." Josh says with an indulgent smile and wondering how Drake heard him over the pounding.

Drake wiggled his fingers at him (what is with that all of the sudden? Josh wondered) and said, "This is Megan, we're talking about."

"This is true," Josh nods.

Drake leans against the door, eyes closed, and sinks down it, "We're going to die in here."

Josh laughs, "I thought I was the dramatic one."

"Promise me, that if I go first, you'll eat me."

"What?" Josh feels his face heat up and his eyes are the size of saucers, he's sure.

"You'll eat my body - if I go first." Drake opens his eyes and faces Josh, "We can't let her win." he adds, shaking his fist at the Megan in his mind, "You'll have to go on and destroy her without me."

"Oh," Oh dear god, "Yeah, sure, Drake." He rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath, "But I highly doubt we're going to die in a closet."

"Stranger things have happened," Drake points out.

With Drake Parker, stranger things will happen, Josh amended.

He moves closer to Drake and the smaller teen lays his head on Josh's shoulder.

Josh thinks he might die if his respiratory system doesn't kick in again soon.

Josh puts his arm around Drake's shoulders and decides that now is as good as any time.

"Hey, Drake, I-"

Suddenly the door they were leaning against opened.

"Gah!" Drake cried out, flailing, while Josh made more of an "oomph" sound as they hit the floor.

"That door opened funny." Josh hears his father, Walter, say as he and Drake look up at their mother's perplexed expression.

"Mommy!" Drake calls out gleefully with arms stretched upwards.

All present give him a strange look.

Drake jumps up and faces his mother, "Megan was mean to us," he says, crossing his arms, complete with a small pout.

"Megan?"

How long were we in there? Josh wonders as Megan oozes sweetness and lays it on just as thick as Drake did, "Yes, Mommy?"

"Did you lock your brothers in the closet?" Audrey looks skeptical about it, but Josh is just amazed that she is asking.

"Mommy," Megan sounds shocked, "I love them!"

Audrey just shakes her head, temporarily washing her hands of the matter, "Just be nice to each other you three."

After their parents leave, Megan walks up to Drake, "You'll pay for that," she promised with a poke to his chest, then leaves.

Josh, from where he still was on the floor, just looks up at Drake in awe, "How did you do that?"

Drake turns, grinning, and helps his brother up, "Well, Megan had to learn the basics somewhere."

At Josh's surprised, but slightly skeptical look, Drake continues, "Then she went and like, mutated or something. Please, even I'm not that evil."

Josh just laughs and wraps an arm around his brother.

III.

Josh fidgeted.

It was Friday night and Drake was out with the girl of the week. But he might as well have been in the room from the way Josh was shaking.

He stood next to Drake's empty, messy bed and clutched harder at the note in his hand.

Dear Drake,

I'm in love with you.

It was handwritten, so there would be no trouble figuring out who was the author of the note.

The paper crinkled and Josh shook.

I can't do this - not like this, Josh thought, slightly desperately, and rushed over to the trash bin and threw the note in it

IV.

Drake was all smiles as he gleefully announced, "We're going out for ice cream - my treat!"

Josh blinked at his brother, then, "Don't you have a date tonight?"

"Nah," Drake brushed it off, "I cancelled that."

"Oh," Josh thought a moment, "You're going to pay for ice cream?"

"Hey!" Drake pretended to be affronted, "Do you want ice cream or not?"

"You're definitely paying?"

"Get in the car or no ice cream for you!" Drake cried as he pushed Josh towards the door.

"Alright, alright," Josh laughed and hugged his brother.

"C'mon!" Drake whined after the hug started lasting too long, "Ice cream!"

"I'll drive," Josh offered.

"I love you," Drake gave him a quick hug, then grabbing his hand dragged him to the car.

Josh felt like his heart would burst.

--

"Here!" Drake said excitedly, pointing as the car neared the new ice cream parlor.

When they walked in, Josh got a sinking feeling that maybe Drake ditched his date for another reason. There were several cute, female cashiers.

"Hello," one of the cashiers said, eyeing Drake. But he was too busy looking at his brother.

"Pick whatever you want," Drake gestured with a sweep of arm towards the display board.

"Really?" Josh felt like he has to keep asking this.

"Yes, really and would you stop doubting me," there is real hurt in Drake's voice.

Josh turns to him and Drake's expression gets slightly annoyed, "Pick already."

"Sorry," Josh keeps eye contact with him, then orders.

After both their ice creams are made and given, they make their way outside, to the car.

"You didn't pay," Josh says, keeping an accusatory tone very distant from his voice.

"Hey," Drake points at him, "I never said I was paying. And besides, it's not my fault the cashier felt the need to give them to us free."

Josh laughs when he realizes that yes, Drake never outright said he was paying.

"Hey, I got a cherry!" Drake makes a delighted sound and smiles as they sit on the car's hood, "I didn't know it came with a cherry."

Josh shakes his head - he will never quite understand Drake's fixation on cherries.

"Well, the girl who made it was checking you out."

"Really?" Drake looks back at the ice cream parlor intrigued.

You're not allowed to talk anymore, Josh told himself.

But instead of going to get her number, Drake just shrugs and scoops some ice cream into his mouth.

Josh nervously clears his throat, "Drake?"

"Yeah, Josh?" he says as he pops the cherry into his mouth.

Josh can't seem to help how his eyes gravitate towards Drake's cherry-filled mouth.

"Josh?" Drake waves a hand in front of his brother's face, after he doesn't respond.

"What? I'm okay." Josh says quickly; Drake just raises an eyebrow.

"Well?" he says expectantly.

"Never mind," Josh mutters into his ice cream. Stupid cherries.

V.

This is it, Josh told himself, I'm going to tell Drake the truth.

He went downstairs with a purpose. "Drake?"

"He's outside!" Megan yelled from the kitchen.

"Thanks!" Josh yelled back and hurried outside. He found Drake on the neighbor kid, Robbie's Sit n' Bounce.

"Josh!" Drake bounces over to him.

"Drake, what are you doing?" Josh tries not to watch how Drake's hair bounces.

"Bouncing," Drake grins, "It's fun and Robbie's not here to kick me again."

"What?" Josh shakes his head, Stop watching his hair!

"He kicked me in the leg once, that brat." Drake stops bouncing, "Hey you want a turn?"

"N-no, that's okay."

Drake starts bouncing again.

"I'm-I'm gonna go back inside now," Josh says, still watching Drake's hair bounce.

"Aww, c'mon," Drake pauses, "Wanna play ping-pong?"

"Maybe later, I have stuff to do," The vague truth rolls off his tongue.

"I'll hold you to that!" Drake yells as Josh heads inside. He hurries upstairs.

Josh can't get the thoughts of Drake's bouncing hair and that Drake was level with his waist out of his mind as he locks the bathroom door.

Interlude.

Megan is a patient person. But even she is only so patient.

When Drake walked into his room, she is sitting on his bed, kicking her feet.

He stopped abruptly and stared at her, "You're not here to kill me, are you?"

Megan ignores his question, "I need to talk to you," she says as she stands up and climbs down the ladder.

"I'll bet you do," Drake mutters, "Why are you in our room?" he adds louder.

"It's about Josh."

Drake looks around quickly, then narrows his eyes at Megan, "What did you do to him? Where is he?"

"Calm down," she rolls her eyes, "He's at work."

Drake huffs and crosses his arms, "So?"

Megan walks over to her brother, "Have a seat with me."

"This is our room, Megan, not yours." he declares and walks over to the couch, but doesn't sit.

She merely shrugs and casually says, "You can say 'my' instead of 'our,' Josh isn't here."

Drake just gives her a "huh?" look.

Oh, this is too perfect.

"When did it become the 'The Josh and Drake Show' and not 'The Lonely Boob Show'?" Megan questioned (and though she'd never admit it, she was honestly curious).

"What are you talking about? It's always been me and Josh." Drake sits on the table across from Megan.

"And you do realize that Josh isn't your twin." Megan sits back on the couch - she needs to get comfortable, she might be here awhile.

"Yeah, your point?" Drake seems unnerved.

Megan stifles a sigh, "Look, boob, I know you like Josh."

"Yeah, 'course I do, he's my brother."

She takes out a piece of crumpled paper and hands it to Drake. "You need to talk to Josh."

He smoothes out the small piece of paper and Drake's eyes widen as he reads it. He looks up at Megan, "What?"

She just gives him a look.

"Oh."

I.

Breathe! Drake mentally yelled at himself as Josh entered their room.

"Hey!" Drake hopes to god he sounds normal.

Josh smiles up at him, "Hi, Drake," he sounds a little tired.

"Bad time at work?" Drake jumps off the loft and heads over to his brother.

"Eh, same as usual really." Josh starts to change from his work clothes.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," Drake said suddenly, surprising both Josh and himself (and unknowingly saying what Josh had been unable to).

"Yeah?" Josh looks worried.

"It's not bad!" Drake assures, then quickly adds, "Well, I don't think it's bad, but you're totally allowed to if you want."

"Drake, what are you talking about?" Josh asks slowly.

A quiet pause, then:

"Ah, forget it!" Drake quickly leaves the room and stands fidgeting in the hallway.

Coward, he thinks and sucks in a deep breath and turns back on his heel. He rushes back into the room.

Josh just watches him perplexed.

He starts to wiggle his fingers and stands close to Josh, "Spirit fingers!" he says loudly and gestures.

Josh laughs, "That was probably one of the most random things ever."

"Hey," Drake points a finger in Josh's face, "You started it," he says with a small pout.

Josh gives him a confused look and grabs the finger in his face and lowers it, "Did not." And Josh unknowingly mimics his brother's actions and points a finger in Drake's face.

Drake grabs the accusing finger and pushes it down, "Did. Megan said so."

"Megan?"

"Yup," Drake smiles and quickly leans forward, kissing Josh.

There is flash and both teens jump and see Megan grinning triumphantly with a camera, "Internet!" she sing-songed and skipped out of the room. "Oh," she poked her head back in, "and we're not telling Mom and Dad, because this is now so officially blackmail material."

"I'm a little confused about what just happened." Josh admits softly, a moment later.

Drake turns back to him and glances down at their still clasped hands, "Apparently, she knows everything," he grinned, "Don't worry about it."

"This is Megan, we're talking about." Josh repeats Drake's words from what seemed like oh-so-long ago.

"Trust me," Drake assured.

Josh answered him with a kiss.

Epilogue.

It was love, Josh knew, when Drake let him pick the radio station.

Author's End Notes: First off, this story isn't beta'd so I apologize for any typos. Second and third, this is my first Drake & Josh fic and also my first slash fic, so I'm sorry if that shows too much.
Word Count: 2249
Date Written: 3.17-19.2007