Author: Ren Kayashima
Genre: Humor
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Alas my top secret mission to steal the rights to Criminal Minds failed. At the last minute my repel line broke and I was arrested for trespassing on ABC ground. If you would like to help me with bail money…
Important: This is a one-shot that ties in with my Ibuprofen and Plasma story. It stands on its own though, but if you want the full story of how Gwenevere and Spencer meet, check out Ibuprofen and Plasma.
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January 19, 2022
"For a genius, you sure look clueless," Derek Morgan chuckled, pushing the red plastic cart slowly through the somewhat crowded toy isle of their local Target. He grinned as he glanced back at the younger agent who at that moment was staring in wonder at the large amount of toys, stuff animals, and noisemakers that filled the shelves. "Seriously, you have some of the easiest kids to shop for, and you're stuck."
Reid pulled out his wallet and looked at the cash for the sixteenth time since they had entered the store. Some of the prices he was seeing were getting to be a little crazy. The team had just gotten back from a case, and Spencer had yet to get a birthday gift for his son Jason who would be turning eight the next day. Spencer couldn't have been more lost on what to give the child for his birthday. Normally Gwenevere was in charge of that, and this year she said he was on his own.
"What do eight year olds like?" Spencer asked, somewhat perturbed by the complete lack of knowledge he had when it came to small children. This is why they didn't like him. He was clueless to their inner cogs and wheels. He gritted his teeth in frustration.
"Are we talking about normal eight year olds or your eight year old because I'm fairly certain that they're two different things," Derek said. He would have loved to joke about it, but the truth was Jason was extremely bright and nearing genius level. He wasn't like his father when it came to math and applied sciences, but rather he carried the level of intelligence and analytical thought that came from his mother. Jason was only eight and knew three languages: English, Spanish, and American Sign Language (a language that his mother started teaching to him when he was just a baby). Linguistically speaking, Jason would probably be able to translate for the entire United Nations if he kept up his current progress with French.
"My eight year old," Spencer sighed, realizing he had walked right into Derek's half joking statement. "What did you get him?"
Derek started to push the cart a little faster and Spencer jogged slightly to catch up. "I'm not telling you," Morgan said with a coy smile, hoping for a delay in further questioning. "See, what I don't understand is why you can't put your name on Gwen's gift. My parents did it for years, and I never complained."
"She won't let me, and you're deflecting," Spencer stated as he narrowed his eyes at the older agent. "You haven't bought Jason a gift yet, have you?"
Derek began to laugh nervously, rubbing his palms over the cart's handle. "I didn't say that," he answered quickly. "What did Gwen get him? Maybe that will help you decide what to get Jason."
"Morgan, he's your godson," Spencer said loudly in frustration. "You aren't supposed to forget his birthday."
"When did that become a rule? And I did not forget!" Derek hissed. He had merely pushed off buying a gift to the last moment due to some work interference. Yeah that was it. "Christmas was less than a month ago, and I've been a little busy running our team. Hotch has been breathing down my neck to get all the reports in. And Garcia has been bothering me about baby shower plans for your wife. You two sure like to get busy."
"You're deflecting again," Reid warned his team leader. Even after ten years, the genius wasn't comfortable discussing his bedroom activities with Morgan, and he was content on keeping it that way. The less Morgan knew, the better his work life would be. He moaned in despair. "Why won't she share with me? Gwenevere always knows what to get the kids, and I'm sitting here like a floundering fish out of water."
Morgan sniggered as he shook his head. "She does seem to have it all figured out. Maybe it's a female thing." He picked up a box of kids spy gear and held it up for Reid to see. "Dibs on the spy gear."
"Gwenevere got him the first ten books in the Hardy Boys Series," Spencer said. He raked a hand through his hair and looked at Morgan. "How do I compete with that? You know Jason is completely enamored with mysteries and comic books, and she gave him a set! A set!"
Derek dropped the spy gear into the cart and continued looking. He was going to grab five things and then pick two to buy. The best of the best. He thought triumphantly. "So get Jason something related to Batman. He loves Batman. He thinks you're Batman." He picked up a kids dress up costume for Sherlock Holmes complete with pipe, magnifying glass, and deerstalker hat. "Dibs."
"You're not helping," Spencer growled as they reached the end of the isle. He picked up a Batman utility belt and tried to remember if Jason had one already. He had a lot of comic book paraphernalia hidden away in his closet. His shoulders slumped when he remembered Jason's 'Robin' Phase. He hadn't taken off the Utility belt for three weeks.
"Dibs," Morgan chimed, picking up a replica of Green Lantern's ring and lantern. He gave a bark of laughter when Spencer's face fell. "You know, this is pretty easy. I don't see why this is so hard for you."
"Shut up, Morgan," Spencer mumbled. He was starting to think that toys weren't the solution to this dismal predicament. He looked up and scanned the ceiling for the dangling red placards that would tell him where to find the books. He would certainly find something there. They wouldn't be a timeless classic like Gwen's gift, but at least he knew Jason would like most of the books that could be found in his age range. Jason loved to read.
"Hey, where are you going?" Morgan called, picking up a 'Make Your Own Slime' kit and tossing it in the cart.
"Books," Reid answered, not looking back.
Derek followed, determined to pick up at least one book. Gwenevere would glare at him if he just showered the boy with gifts bound to make a mess. Last year, he had given Jason one of those machines that made crayons, and even Spencer still hadn't completely forgiven him for the chunks of dried hard wax that stuck to their playroom carpet.
Spencer started picking up books and scanning through their pages to get an idea of what the book was about. Derek just picked up any book that looked good. Upon examining a cover, Derek would open the book, read the short blurb on the inside flap, and put it back on the shelf.
The two agents both stopped in the middle of the isle and picked up two copies of the same book: Baskerville. According to the back it was a modern telling of one of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlockian classics that had been reworded and geared towards children between the ages of 8-12. The cover featured a silhouetted deerstalker hat with two glowing eyes in the middle.
"Dibs!" Reid said quickly. He started collecting the others in the series and stopped suddenly when he saw a woman peering at him from the end of the isle in confusion. "My son… he loves books," he stated awkwardly.
Morgan shook his head and grabbed an adventure series centered around Europe. With a smile, he placed the first two in the series in his cart and glanced at his coworker. "I'm done," he said. "Why don't you take the Holmes dress up and present it with the books for a package deal?"
Spencer nodded quickly as he loaded the books into the cart. "Maybe Jason will like mine more than Gwen's books."
"Doubt it," Morgan said. "You still don't know how to make wrapping paper look pretty, and you can't cook his favorite meal. Let's get out of here and get some pizza. Shopping makes me hungry."
"You're always hungry." Spencer sighed, actually happy he had found something.
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Author's Note: Hey guys! A quick little one-shot for a friend of mine who loves Morgan and Reid together in any capacity. I ended up tying it into my IAP universe because the idea of Reid trying to find a gift for his son was extremely amusing to me. And then I threw Morgan in because that's bound to create some humorous conversation. I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review.
Ren