AN: I haven't written anything in a really long time so I'm not really looking for flames at the moment. It would just squelch my desire to write and I've already signed up for a few challenges. This is actually the first challenge I've ever done and my first songfic if you want to call it that. It's for Psychopath-convention's SONG LYRIC CHALLENGE. The lyrics are from the song "Hurt" covered by Johnny Cash. Listen to it on youtube if you haven't heard the version.
Severus sat alone in his flat, the bottle he held in his left hand held only a faint indicator of what it had been full of less than an hour prior. A single candle cast only faint glow casting his meager surroundings in shadow. He slightly lifted the bottle upward. The bottle's lack of weight momentarily drawing his gaze from the picture he clutched in his right, he glared hatefully at the bottle.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
He could barely focus. Her face flashed before his eyes. Her beautiful smile. Her piercing green eyes. Her addictive laugh. Her soft red hair. The way she looked at him disgusted, disappointed and worse, hurt.
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
Today the love of his life got married, not to him of course. To a man unworthy of her love. A fool. Yet, he admitted to himself, he didn't deserve her either. After tonight he really didn't deserve her.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
He would never stop loving her. Really, he reasoned, he was doing this all for her. To protect her, to save her and perhaps, dare he hope, one day she'd realize that he never stopped loving her. That horrible word he muttered in the heat of the moment, that word would haunt him forever. He could never fix that just like he couldn't leave her alone.
What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Severus suddenly took a sharp breath in and pulled up the sleeve on his left arm. His dark mark, only hours old, sizzled to life calling him to his master. Severus obediently set the bottle down and then hesitated. Lily would never understand this decision but he couldn't think of anything else that could be done. Since he had lost his only chance to be with the love of his life this was the best chance he had at helping her. Later he could sit alone and once again run through the list of "should haves". Snapping himself back to the present he promptly apparated and the picture of Lily Potter fluttered slowly to the ground.
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep to myself
I would find a way