"How about a banana? Huh? uhhhmmm...Yummy!"

"DA! DA!" she screams back.

"An apple?"

"Daddy!" She screams but this time with her bottom lip stuck out in a pout and tears brimming her eyes.

"Sheridan, sweetie, aren't you hungry? You want some grapes? Those are your favorite." I say with as much fake excitement that I can muster.

"I…I…want my daddyyyyy!" she screams, fully crying now. All I can do is look at her there, strapped in her high chair. I thought that I could distract her with food, but even I can't quite fool my almost 2 year old. She knows something's wrong, and that it has to do with her daddy. They had this bond that I never really understood. She was her daddy's girl since the moment he first held her in the delivery room. She was his world and he could make anything better for her and I was just happy to be in the presence of such pure love. But he was gone now and she was stuck with me.

"I know honey. I know you want your daddy." I grab her under her arms and pull her up out of the high chair. She clutches to my shirt, that isn't really my shirt. It's his shirt that I found in the dirty clothes hamper. I sit down in the rocker in our living room and begin to rock her as she sobs into my neck. God, help me. How am I suppose to tell my baby girl that her daddy, her favorite person in the world, is gone? That he is dead and never coming back.

Jeffery and I were high school sweethearts. Our relationship was natural, like breathing. We got married right out of high school and made a home for ourselves here in Forks. Not long after, I got pregnant with Sheridan. He wanted to take care of "his girls", he liked to call us, so he got a job at his father's shipping company in Port Angles. The pay was really good and the commute wasn't bad. I spent my days taking care of Sheridan and our home. A home maker was never what I saw myself as, but it fulfilled me in a way I never knew existed.

Just as Sheridan is calming down, the door bell rings. "Probably Mrs. Lipman with another casserole." I mumble as I get up to answer the door. With Sheridan situated on my hip and still clutching to her daddy's dirty old soccer t-shirt, I take a deep breath to prepare myself and swing open the door. Standing before me is not Mrs. Lipman with another casserole, but Jeffery's older brother, Jasper.

Jeffery and Jasper looked nothing alike. It was often joked about that Jeffery was adopted because of his dark hair and bulky build. Jasper, like the rest of his family had blonde hair. This is where Sheridan got her golden curls, because it was definitely not from my side. Though both the Whitlock boys were tall, Jasper was lanky and lean and Jeffery was broad and built. Jeffery being bigger and more mature than Jasper often had people confused as to who was actually the oldest. Jasper is very….unique. He's a loner, never being tied down, free to roam, unless the state or county restricts travel for whatever offense he had committed. Jeffery and I kept an old water jug beside our refrigerator that we dubbed "Jasper's bail fund" because Mr. Whitlock had long ago run out of patience for his oldest son. So Jeffery soon became his go to guy when he was in trouble. We had accumulated quit a bit of change in it since Jasper had been spending most of his time in Canada where I guess they haven't grown tired of his criminal ways yet. However, now with Jeffery being gone, that change would be used to put food on the table until I can figure out what I am going to do.

"Jasper." I acknowledge him coldly, in hopes that he would know how pissed off I am at him for missing his only brother's funeral the day before.

"Hiya Bells…" he says with a shy crooked grin, like he knows I'm mad but thinks that his charm will get him out of it. No way Jose`!

"Don't call me Bells…." And just as I was about to lay into him for leaving me high and dry without any help with the funeral and his family and everyone else, Sheridan comes alive.

"Unca Jay!" she yells as she detaches herself from her daddy's t-shirt and reaches for the next best thing, her daddy's brother.

"Oh my goodness! Look at you!" he says as he grabs her under her arms and lifts her from me. "How old are you now? Sixteen? Has your mommy taught you to drive yet?" Sheridan shakes her head "no" and he sets her comfortably on his hip. "No? Well, I guess I need to get you behind the wheel of my van so I can teach you a few things, but first," he drops his voice to a whisper and says in her ear, "maybe you could ask your mommy for thirty bucks for gas because I just drove all the way from Alaska and I am literally on E."

With that, I huff and open the door wide to let him in, and Sheridan giggles at him though she doesn't understand what he said, I think she just likes the way he talks to her like a big girl.

"Alaska huh? Have they run you out of Canada already?"

Jasper had Sheridan set on the edge of the tiny kitchen island standing in front of her peppering kisses all over her face while making kissy sounds causing her to giggle again.

"Actually……they did!" He says to answer my question but never looks at me. He continues to play with Sheridan, now tickling her and making her scream. He thinks this will distract me.

"Jasper….what happened in Canada?" I won't be distracted.

Jasper gives up somewhat and looks at me.

"It's a long story, Bells, but legally I'm not at liberty to discuss it …"

"Wow. Ok Jasper. I don't care about Canada. Just…what are you doing here? The funeral was yesterday. You're a little late and don't call me Bells.

"Ok. I'm sorry" he says in a more serious tone. He picks up Sheridan and walks around me to the living room. I know this move. Things are about to get serious and he knows it, so he's going to use my daughter as a shield so I won't kill him. He sits down in the rocker I was in earlier and begins to rock her, and he's so much better at it than I was because she's out immediately.

"I would've been here yesterday, but there were some complications with me traveling through Canada. I would've just flown in from Alaska but I didn't have the money for a plane ticket, I barely had the money to drive. So I got held up over night at the border until they could contact the right people to ok me to pass through."

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. I believed him, as much of a fuck up Jasper is, I knew that he would never intentionally miss his brother's funeral. But I was still pissed. I was angry, on top of alone, on top of sad, on top of devastated, on top of helpless. I put my head down and covered my face with my hands as I began to sob.

"Oh God Bells I'm sorry," he says helplessly with my daughter still sleeping on his shoulder he couldn't really move to comfort me.

"Stop calling me Bells, Jeffery called me Bells."

We sat there for about an hour while Sheridan slept. Through my tears I noticed Jasper wiping at his cheeks with his one free hand.

Finally all cried out yet again for the hundred time this week, I stood up.

"Here, I'll take her and put her in her crib." But as I reached for her I saw both his hands gently grip her small back.

"Can I hold her a little longer? Please?"

"Sure, Jasper. As long as you want. I'm just going to take a quick shower. If you get tired of her just lay her in her crib, and if she wakes up see if you can get her to eat."

"Ok"

I use to love a long, hot shower, but since Jeffery's death I hate them. Well, they were still hot, as hot as I could make them, but not so long. I thought about too much in the shower, so I got out as fast as I could. I was so tired of thinking about not just how he died, alone on the wet road in a mangled old ford F150, but about him being gone in general. Every reminder of him was a reminder that he wasn't there anymore. Just looking at my daughter reminded me that he was gone. Then also, the fact that every other sentence out of her mouth is about her daddy had me thinking about how he wasn't coming back.

I got out of the shower and dressed in some old faded jeans and were ripped in the knees and a black t-shirt of my own. As I sat on the end of our bed and towel dried my hair I noticed the small pink specks of dried paint on the black shirt that I wore. They were from painting Sheridan's room after she was born. We painted it together. Yet another reminder that anymore painting in this house would not be done with Jeffery, but mostly likely by me. Alone.

"Hey" Jasper called from my bedroom door. " I put her down in her crib. My arms were starting to cramp up."

"Alright"

He walked over, sat next to me and put his long arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him and took in a deep breath of his scent, which was a lot like Jeffery's. Then I let it out.

"What can I do for you Bells…a, Bella?" he corrected himself. I grinned, but where he couldn't see it. "What do you need?"

"I need my husband back."

"I wish I could give him to you, but I can't."

"I know….God, what am I going to do Jasper? I can't do this. I have to figure this out. I have a baby to take care of and a house. I need to get a job but I have no skills. And I have no idea what to tell Sheridan when she asks me where her daddy is. What do you tell a toddler when her father dies?"

"Shhhh…Bella. Calm down. You will figure it out. I know you will. You're a smart girl. Maybe dad can give you a job down at the port. I'll ask him for you."

"No Jasper, don't. Besides I already asked him. He said that he would see but he didn't seem too hopeful."

"Fuckin asshole…"

"Yeah, he is kind of an asshole."

"Hey! I have an idea, lets get high!"

"What?! Jasper are you crazy? No way! I am not getting high with you."

"Yeah, I know. Don't know why I asked. I think there's something about mentioning my father that makes me what to light one up. Helps me forget, not that I could really forget. He would never let me."

"Forgetting sounds nice right now."

"You want to? I have some in my…." He began excitedly.

"No Jasper. Really, I couldn't. I have Sheridan now. I need to be responsible."

"Yeah, me too. Hey, remember when you and Jeff used to come over to mine and Sam's apartment and get high with us?"

"Yes I do, more than you obviously."

"What?"

"You must've been so stoned you thought that we were stoned too. We never got high with you and Sam. We just came over to make fun of you guys."

"Oh. Well, are you sure you couldn't use a few hits? It's all natural…"

"And illegal…"

"For now…but you just wait til Willie Nelson becomes president…"

"No thanks Jasper, I'll pass."

"Well, just in case you decide to stop passin and start puffin…" he reached out to my night stand and grabbed a pen and note pad. "I'm going to leave you with my guy's number."

"Your guy?"

"Yeah, my dealer." He said in a whisper.

"I said no thanks!"

"Take it! Just in case."

"No."

"Yes"

"No"

"Whatever. I'm leaving it. Use it or not. I don't care."

"I'm not going to use it."

"I don't care."

Jasper stayed for dinner that night and Sheridan didn't ask about her daddy, which was kind of sad in a way but I was relieved. I invited Jasper to stay on the couch but he refused saying that he had a friend in town that he was going to see and then he would probably be heading to Port Angeles tomorrow. He said that he would be back soon and that he had no plans to head back north until he had to. Even though I knew I would regret it when it came time to pay bills next month, I slipped him the thirty bucks he said he needed.

Getting Sheridan to bed that night was harder than usual. While she was screaming at me from her crib, standing there gripping her teddy in one arm and reaching out with the other I was ready to throw myself off the roof of the house. She wanted her daddy and she wanted "Unca Jay". Neither of them I could give her. I was on the verge of just leaving her there screaming when I got an idea. I ran to the hamper for one of Jeffery's dirty work shirts and put it on, buttoning only a couple buttons to keep it from falling off. Then I went back to Sheridan, picked her up and began rocking her in the rocker there in her room.

It was a miracle. Just like earlier when Jasper rocked her, she passed out and I was able to put her down. Her daddy's smell soothed her. I took off Jeffery's shirt and tucked it in next to her in her crib. I didn't care that it was dirty, and she didn't either. She needed it too much.

I headed back to my room and collapsed onto the bed. I was exhausted. Physically as well as emotionally. I looked over to the clock on my night stand. 1:13am. Then I noticed the not pad and in Jasper's handwriting it read: 113-486-5343 Edward.