What you see here is an updated version of my original oneshot. I initially planned to put this ending to it but forgot it while I was writing... What can I say, I'm just very forgetful at times.. Beside that, I've had a review saying that the ending wasn't very good, and I agree!!
As always, I do not own anything, JK Rowling does.
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Just Thinking
I don't know why these thoughts came into my mind just now, while sitting in the library with Draco studying.
I don't even know for how long I have been sitting in my seat and just staring blankly at my essay about ancient runes. I just was.
Draco didn't seem to have noticed either as he was still reading intently in the Quidditch book I had recently given him so that he could sit next to me while I was studying, and not get bored in the process.
Everyone had actually gotten used to us two going out, and after the first month of protest and objection, they had finally accepted that we loved each other.
But exactly that was what I was thinking about at the moment.
How much did I really love him? What did I actually feel?
I knew that there also was some physical desire. When we were kissing, for example, or simply holding hands. I liked it, felt safe in his arms.
I also knew that I couldn't stand being away from him for too long. I missed him easily, the gentle look in his face every time he looked at me, or simply stroking his soft, white-blonde hair.
Hair of an angel, as I always said, and he laughed. I loved hearing him laugh.
I knew he wanted to hide it, pretend that he was nothing more than a Slytherin git, but I knew that what he felt was real.
My thoughts drifted into another direction. How could you actually prove that the love was real?
Sure, there existed some spells and charms, but this was some other sort of magic.
So there must be another way.
I imagined myself in different situations with him. Maybe the respect for the other was a sign for true love.
But then I thought again. No, I respected other people as well, for what they did and achieved, for their work mostly.
Feeling safe then? I always felt safe around him, always had, even when he used to insult me. It was just some sort of game we always played, and still sometimes do.
But those "games" usually ended in a big kissing scene, and then I felt good again.
'Wow, those thoughts are random' I suddenly thought to myself.
But anyway, that was just the way my thoughts were going.
Was true love then that I couldn't stop thinking of him, wherever I was, either with or without him?
Even now, when he was sitting with me, I thought of nothing else than him.
But that couldn't be it either. It just wasn't right.
I sighed in frustration, and he looked at me, then smirked. It was a playful smirk.
"Having a hard time with your essay?" he wondered.
"Yeah, sort of…" I said weakly, not wanting to admit that I had been thinking of him. Us.
Again.
But he knew me too well.
It always surprised me how he could tell when I was lying. Not that I was particularly good at it anyway, but others just didn't seem that think that I had anything to lie about.
Oh well.
He lifted an eyebrow, not saying anything.
"What?" I asked lamely. I knew what he wanted to know.
Pretending to be back at work again, I took a book from a huge pile on the table and opened it at a random page.
Still, I felt him staring at me and couldn't concentrate properly on the written text.
I sighed heavily and gave up, looking back at him.
He smiled.
"I believe that this means that I won, doesn't it?"
I playfully glared at him, then growled. I didn't know why he liked it when I did that, growling, but he had once told me that he did, and so I sometimes used that against him.
His smile grew wider.
"If you won't tell me, I will have to make you."
"As long as it's you doing it" I said with an evil glint in my eyes.
He slowly stood up and walked around the table. After reaching my chair, he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest.
It was his turn to playfully growl into my ear. It was actually the first time that he did it, and I had to admit that it sounded… I don't know. Indescribable.
His arms held me tightly as he lowered his lips to my neck and began kissing me softly. I shivered, and he grinned wickedly.
"Have had enough?" he asked, his voice a whisper.
I held my lips tightly shut so that no words would escape them.
He hadn't won. Yet.
"Well if that's so…" he said slowly, then tilted my head slowly towards him so that I was facing him. Our faces were so close that our noses were touching.
"What about now?" I shook my head.
He sighed deeply, pretending to be about to give up, but I could see from his face that he was just getting started.
"Oh well then" he said, standing up, his arms no longer holding me.
The air between us seemed freezing cold.
"No!" The word escaped me before I could stop myself.
Great. Now he definitely had won.
He smiled, a sweet smile this time that made my heart beat faster every time I saw it.
Gently lifting me up, he slid on my chair and placed me on his lap. I leaned back. He smelled wonderful.
"Now then, what is it?"
"You of all people should know what I was thinking of…" I slowly said.
I could hear him chuckle, but that was it. I groaned. He knew, but he wanted me to tell him.
He definitely knew me too well.
"I was thinking about you… Us."
"Oh, is that so? And what were you thinking?"
"I tried to define true…" I started saying, but I trailed of as I felt his warm breath on my neck again, his lips kissing my jaw, moving slowly towards my lips, almost touching them, but not completely.
"Yes?"
"True love."
"And what did you come up with?"
"Nothing, really… What would you say?"
"I actually did think about it once, and I came up with something. I'll tell you if you promise not to laugh" he added.
"Promise"
"Well… I was thinking that if you truly loved someone: how far would you go to get him back, how much would you do?"
"You mean if there is…someone else?"
"Yes and no. In that particular case, I was thinking that for example, you might lose your memory. Forget about us, and about me. Would I then just live with it and move on, or would I try to get you back, even if that meant to relive every moment we've had together. Would I give up some time and some effort to make you mine again?"
While he was speaking, I noticed that his voice had gotten a bit more serious. I was entranced that I didn't say anything for a moment, listening to the silence that followed his words.
"What? No smart comments on my theory or anything like that? I must really say, I'm a tiny bit disappointed." But his voice was a bit anxious. He did want to know what I was thinking.
Instead of commenting, I only asked a simple question. Simple if he had the right answer for the both of us.
"How far would you go for me?"
That actually was the only question that mattered at the moment.
He didn't hesitate before giving his answer.
"I would spend every second of the rest of my life to get you back, Hermione."
No answer could have been righter, no words stronger than those.
He had turned away his face while saying those words, staring at a distant corner of the library.
I lifted up my hand to his chin and softly turned it back to me.
No words needed to be said now, and so I didn't.
I sealed his lips with mine, in a deep and passionate kiss, pulling them away after a long moment. He was smiling; so was I.
"Now, would you tell me what brought all of this on?" he asked. I detected a hint of curiosity in his eyes, which he tried desperately to hide from me.
I giggled lightly, throwing back my hair.
"Oh, dunno." I looked into his grey eyes. "I was…just thinking."
