Me no own Minecraft. That Notch, Mojang, Notch partners, affiliate companies.

A/N I'm a strict and no-tolerance MC pig lover. You hurt a pig, I will track you down. I will find you. I will make you pay. So my best friend, the Zing, is a supporter of me. Albeit, he occasionally chows down on pork chops in times of need, but never in front of me. Unlike my friend Fig, who taunts me with such things.

Flame me all you want for loving what might soon be an "obsolete" animal, but I'll never let them go. Horses may be better steeds, but I'll ride a pig every day. Carrots are harder to find than wheat, but I'll slay a thousand zombies to feed my pig companion. Cows are nice, but I won't hesitate (much) to kill them.

So this is about a character who shares this intense bond with pigs. He'll, as I, protect pigs. Read his (my?) adventures.

They say the most delicious, plump, and potentially perfect pigs live in one valley.

This is true.

They say many have tried to capture or kill these pigs for the food.

This is true.

Now, they say tried, and not did. No one is really sure of how or why the hungry people who go into the valley die, but they say the pigs are watched over by a guardian.

This is true.

How do I know this without being one of the fallen adventurers after sweet pork? You already know.

I'm the guardian of Pig Valley.

Pigs are my favorite animals. No other animal can ever be so utterly amazing. They're like wolves but better. They're more loyal, and cute, and brave. Besides that, I just feel like they need me. Their faces look at me and scream for protection. If I don't do it, who will?

Of course, that implies I find it a chore. I do not. I'd do it, and do, because they're innocent. They don't hurt anyone, and look at you with cute, imploring eyes. Whoever can look at that and slash is a monster. I'm a former monster hunter (more on that later) and so I make it my duty to kill those that stray from the path of light.

I can't protect them all, sadly. So I went to a valley, a wonderful valley, filled with pigs. I've never seen so many, I swear to Notch.

So why am I such a fanatic pig lover, in a timeline? That's simple. As I said, I used to be a monster hunter. A good one, if I might add. Caves, dungeons, mineshafts, I'd explore them all. Then I'd kill the mobs and sell the loot at Block City.

But occasionally I'd get in over my head. Sometimes I'd escape by the skin of my teeth, either after fighting and killing them all or running. Other times another adventurer would come along and help me. We split the loot, but I lost contact with him after giving up monster hunting. I gave up monster hunting after the Incident.

It happened on my last mission. I had been overconfident, only bringing one Healing potion. Waltzing down into an abandoned mineshaft, I dodged arrows, shoved creepers, and stabbed zombies. I was cutting through a zombie head when I heard the tell-tale hissing. Boom.

I felt pain, and blood seeping through my shirt. That's when I drank the potion. Bad move. The effects were fast, but not fast enough. A cave spider sank its fangs deep into my arm before I could kill it. Even after its death, the poison coursed through my veins.

My head pounded, and I could hear my body wanting to shut down for repairs. Luckily the potion kept me awake. I say luckily somewhat ironically, since the pain I felt while awake was excruciating.

The pain passed, eventually. However, by that point skeletons were firing at me. I ran towards the exit, and could see daylight. The daylight, unfortunately, was at the top of a long flight of stairs.

Pain shot from my head again, and my face hit the floor. I rolled to see a zombie groan and punch again. At this point my sight was blurry, and it was all I could do to dodge his blows. Unfortunately I felt déjà vu, and for good reason.

Boom. Another creeper. The explosion killed the zombie, but I could scarcely move. I knew the skeletons were closing in on my position, and I prayed that Notch send me an angel. He did.

A snort pierced the nebulous haze enclosing my mind. I blinked to see a pig looking at me with his head turned. It reminded me of a wolf, but I had no carrots. Nonetheless, the pig snorted again and pulled me into a hole in the wall. The pig fit perfectly through, and I was squeezed to get in.

Inside was a den of sorts. But it was a simple hole with stairs to the top. Still, I was amazed that a pig was capable of such things. He pulled me next to some water. I drank my fill, and then slept. Sleep never felt so good.

I awoke and the pig was awake and at the base of the safer stairs. He oinked and nodded towards the light. We made it to the surface and I blinked at the sun. It was setting.

I looked at my savior. "I don't know if you understand me, but I want to repay you. Live with me at my house, please. It's the least I can do."

The pig oinked, and as I walked he followed. We made it to my house as the moon was in the center. The next day, I moved my home to the valley filled with pigs.

The pig still lives with me. And although I can't be sure, I think he approves of my guarding duties.

So maybe that's confusing or maybe it's not enough to warrant what I do. Think what you want; I don't care. I'm the guardian of Pig Valley. I will protect them, and I'm not afraid to die for them.

So there you go. Pig Valley's guardian just debuted. Now, this isn't a one-shot. The next chapter will be up someday. Not sure when though.

I hope you liked it. Review, check out my other stories, review those. It'd make me happy.

Don't hurt pigs, or you know what will happen. I'll be watching from the shadows...

Until next time, this was Hunter.