I do not own Star Wars in any form, way, or reason. T-T I am only a fan. Now that you smashed my dreams go read. And review to make me happy you dream smashers.

Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away. Actually it was not that far away but it sounds better this way so that is how I will say it, there was a boy named Luke. Now we all know that this guy will one day grow up to be a powerful Jedi and rid the galaxy of the emperor. But once he was a kid and had a very strange adventure. And this is that story.

Little Luke sat at the kitchen table with his Aunt and Uncle eating dinner one night. It was the usual muck and blue milk crap as they had every night. And as every night the same argument began,

"I DON'T WANNA GO TO BED!"

"YOU ARE GOING TO BED!"

Luke and Owen glared at each other across the table. One could feel the tension between the grown man and this seven year old child, and the sad part was that Luke was winning. Wither it was his amazing Jedi powers or simple being smarter then the farmer is anyone's guess.

"GO TO BED!"

"NO!"

"PLEASE GO TO BED!"

"NO"

"Luke," Beru stepped in as Owen looked ready to strangle his nephew, "Go to bed sweety."

And, since Beru was the only one Luke will listen to, he said, "OK Aunt Beru," and thus he skipped off to bed, ignoring his uncle's tears of frustration.

After brushing his teeth and putting on his pod speeder pajamas, little Luke walked into his room. The moment he entered the room he knew something was wrong. Looking around he saw what was amiss, HIS BLANKY WAS GONE! His special, Quato Bird blanky was not on his bed.

Searching the room, he did not find it in the toy chest, the hamper, under the bed or even in the garbage can. A knock and many curse words were heard from the closet. Walking to it slowly, Luke opened the door to find…Emperor Palpatine standing inside, rubbing his head. Now since Luke was a kid and did not care yet about the Empire or anything all he noticed was that the old Sith Lord held his precious blanky in his hand!

"HEY THAT'S MINE!" Luke yelled as he jumped for the cover.

"HAHA! IT IS MINE NOW!" yelled the Emperor in a very out of character yell of glee. He reached behind him and pulled a rip cord and went whizzing out of the window with is jet pack.

Most children would give up and cry if one of the greatest evils in the universe had just stolen their blanky and would accept it, but not Luke. No he had a secret weapon. He ran out of the house and jumped into the mini speeder he had built in secret and went flying off behind the Emperor, and let me say that not even the notorious driving of Anakin Skywalker could compare to the speed that kid was going and that is saying something.

In a few minutes Luke had caught up with Palpatine and was racing beside him. The old man and young child stared each other down as they flew down a gorge. The Tuskin Raiders that stood around the rim of the gorge did not shoot at them though; they were too preoccupied laughing their masks off at the spectacle. Palpatine growled that a child was keeping up with him and decided to do the rash. He pushed a little red button. Even in the future little red buttons all meant the same thing, going ridiculously faster then anyone needs to go. The Emperor launched forward at amazing speed, his cheeks blown open with the force.

"AHHHHHHH!" Luke yelled as he was hit by saliva, "OLD COOTIES!"

Sadly because of this distraction he lost site of the Emperor and his blanky.

Palpatine giggled like a little girl when he finally landed in front of his ship, his hot pink and bunny covered ship. If you did not know this fact let me tell you; the Emperor is a fruity old man. Now everyone knows that but few knew that he suffered from great envy of girls. Ever since he was young he wanted to be one. But since he was a Sith he was never aloud to express himself. That is why he stole the blanket, to finish his collection of fluffy cute things.

"NOW I WILL BE THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL!" he cackled merrily.

"NOT SO FAST NERF HEAD!"

Spinning he found Luke standing behind him, standing on his speeder that looked like it had hit a few walls very hard. Palpatine was intimidated by his because he was stupid likeall people that want universal conquest. Everyone knows that anything outside of your own galaxy is just being greedy.

"Ah, I see you have arrived my young adversary."

"Yeah, now gimme!" Luke yelled.

"NEVER!" Palpatine screamed like a spoiled child, clutching the cloth.

"Well it's mine so there," Luke stated his childish logic.

"Darn I can't fight with that."

Luke's face lit up, "So you'll give me my blanky back?"

"NO AHAHAHA!" he waved the blanket above his head.

Suddenly Luke looked him in the eyes and said, "You want to give me my blanket,"

The Emperor's eyes glazed over and he talked like a zombie, "I want to give you your blanket."

"You are a doo doo head,"

"I am a doo doo head,"

"Hand the blanky here."

"Here you go," he said as he handed he blanket over.

"Now get on your ship, moon every ship you pass and don't remember anything.

"ok," he said as he walked up the ramp. He took off to be arrested for indecent exposure which Vader had to get him out of, much to the younger Sith's amusement.

"YAY!" Luke yelled in happiness as he cuddled his blanky and turned to go home.

Years later Luke Skywalker stood before the Emperor. For some unknown reason Palpatine wanted a bird, cover and a moon pie.

Hehe, this is the first of a few fics making fun of the Star Wars crew and just having fun. Don't flame me, I love Star wars too. I just wanted to make fun of it. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!