Eli, Clare, Adam, and Fiona are hanging out during lunch at their usual table outside. Tlking about their past realationships.
"Okay so my second boyfriend then, gave me a black eye and pulled me down the stairs, bruising my leg." Fiona said
"He sounds like an ass." Adam said
"That's only part of fit he also-" Fiona was cut off by Clare
"Let me guess, just when you two were the happiest you've ever been in your relationship, he went behind your back and made out with your blond, preppy, bimbo friend, who you trusted even though she originally was known as a boyfriend stealing-hoe but you trusted her even though she let it slip that she liked him once or twice because you had faith in him."
"Actually that's exactly what happened, how did you know?" Fiona asked.
"My ex did the same thing, when you have a boyfriend who thinks he's godlike and doesn't have a heart it tends to happen." Clare said.
"Doesn't Eli have quite the ego?"
"Yeah, but like I said unlike my ex, he has a heart."
"Aw, by the way who is your ex?" Fiona asked.
"I'll tell you who he is when it's my turn."
"Okay"
"So who else did you date?"
"Well, Adam obviously and um, Riley. He tried to have sex with me so people wouldn't think he was gay, he also figured if he had sex with me it might turn him straight, but I didn't want to have sex with him so we broke up. He told everybody I was the 'Ice queen' because I wouldn't put out."
"That reminds me of another reason my ex cheated on me. He told everybody I was a prude. Plus if he had half a brain cell he would have realized that my purity ring meant we couldn't have sex, I technically could go past making out, just no sex." Clare said.
"Good to know." Eli added in. We all just laughed.
"Eli why don't you go," Fiona said. "Who have you dated and kissed?"
"In 8th grade I was really popular," Eli stated he then got looks from Adam, Fiona, and Clare.
"I know you wouldn't expect it right? I'll be honesty I was sort of a player, well as player-ish as an 8th grader can get." Clare looked a little upset but he added some humor in to lighten the mood.
"I dated a ton of girls, to be honest I don't remember any of their names and I didn't really talk to them all we did was make out. Then I started to dress more like I do now, I started listening to bands like Dead Hand, and I stopped going to parties, quit the football team (I saw a football helmet in Eli's room so I thought I'd add that to the story), started playing the guitar (the reason there were music sheets in his locker in my opinion)-" Eli was stopped by Clare
"You play guitar?"
"Yeah, until recently, I lost my guitar somewhere in my room." They all started to laugh realizing he may never find it again.
"Anyway, I then dated Julia from the end of 8th grade to the end-ish of 10th grade when she, um, died." He said sadly, he already told Fiona what happened about a week ago.
"And then of course I swore I would never date again, but this girl" he said pointing to Clare
"Throws her glasses in the street so I will 'accidently' run over them,
Conveniently gets writer's block, so the smartest person in the class which is me will have to edit her work,
Forces me to skip class with her,
Attacks me at the telephone poll,
Sneaks the idea of a kiss into our project which means I'm forced to kiss her,
And conveniently is an amazing kisser,
Which completely ruined my plan."
Adam holds back his laughter. And Clare decides to explain to a very confused Fiona what really happened.
"Actually, Alli threw my glasses in the street,
You were the one who complimented me out of nowhere,
You convinced me that I should skip class,
All I did was ask if you wanted to join me,
You got me to publically embarrass myself,
When I tried to get you to do the same you backed into the telephone poll,
You were holding my wrists so of course I was right by you during that,
You suggested that 'Romeo and Juliet should share a finally kiss',
And when we kissed, you certainly did enjoy sticking your tongue down my throat even though Adam had to videotape it." Clare said triumphantly.
"Fine, you win." Eli said, Fiona chuckled .
"Adam you're turn" Clare said.
"Every girl I've ever dated has broken up with me after she found out I was transgender, other than Fiona." Adam said.
"Well, there loss, they definitely missed out." Fiona said.
"Okay your turn Clare, name everyone you have ever dated or kissed." Adam said.
"Okay I've dated 3 people, Eli, Connor I was forced to, and KC-"
"KC? My brother's best friend?" Adam said interrupting Clare
"Yeah"
"Isn't he that football player that left Jenna because she was pregnant even though he was the father?" Fiona asked. Clare nodded.
"You have a terrible taste in guys, first KC and now Eli, what's wrong with you Clare." Adam said jokingly. Eli rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, I've kissed KC, Eli-"
"Don't remind me, I had to film you two because it was 'for a project'-"
"Adam, don't interrupt Clare needs to finish this I'm waiting for her to mention something, Eli you might want to take notes, it gets extremely interesting. Remember Clare, necks count!" Fiona said, Clare blushed, Eli now looked extremely curious about what she was about to say.
Clare then whispered "Declan and Wesley"
"Couldn't here you Clare" Eli said
"I also kissed Wesley, and Declan on the neck." Clare said in defeat.
"Wait, the one on the Science Olympiads with me? Wait so you're the girl he played 7 minutes in heaven and kissed/gave a hickey to?" Adam said trying to suppress the urge to laugh.
"Wait, you what? I thought you were 'Saint Clare', you know the innocent girl?" Eli said.
"Well-" Clare was cut off by Fiona
"She had a crush on my brother, Declan, so she wrote dirty fan fiction and I mean that was probably the raciest story I have ever heard, you would not expect that from 'Saint Clare', anyway she was playing 7 minutes in heaven with Wesley and her mind wandered off to Declan, she closed her eyes, and the next thing she knew was that there was now a hickey on his neck."
"So when Ms. Dawes says 'You can't hide behind vampire fan fiction forever', she's talking about that?" Clare nodded to Eli's comment and continued talking,
"And you write inappropriate stories?"
"The most racy stories I think ever written." Fiona added in
"So, vampires like Edward make you horny?" she didn't respond so Eli continued talking
"Let me rephrase that,
Mysterious,
Good-looking,
Pale,
Dark clothes-wearing,
Death obsessed people,
Who would try to stay away from you just to make sure you're safe, but eventually cave in,
Have a slight romantic side,
A sensitive side,
And are extremely protective of you,
Are the types of people that make you horny? Hmm…interesting."
Eli managed to keep a straight face while Adam and Fiona were covering their mouths to hold themselves back from laughter.
"Are you implying that you're a vampire Eli?" Fiona asked trying to hold back from laughter.
"Maybe I am?" Eli said with a dead serious expression on his face, while Adam was wondering how he could keep a straight face.
"If you are, don't introduce Clare to Edward, she would leave you in a heartbeat to be with Edward."
He was quiet for a minute. "Well, what does he have on me?"
They looked at him for a few seconds with the 'He's Edward, he has millions of fan girls for a reason' look (Author's note: I think Eli Goldsworthy has more fans than Edward but still) then he leaned down and kissed Clare on her throat softly.
"Edward couldn't do that without biting you" Eli said, then chuckled.
Clare laughed "If you knew Edward, wouldn't you be a vampire? Technically you wouldn't be able to do that either."
"Touché"
"I bet Edward doesn't have the affect I have on you, he couldn't make you blush non-stop the way I do, which is lovely by the way." Eli said.
Clare started to blush, and Adam and Fiona looked at each other like 'aw that's so cute, but I'm still going to puke'.
"Plus, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm a way better kisser than him." He said.
Clare responded with to simple words, "Prove it".
The next thing Adam and Fiona new those two were making out. They looked at each other, shrugged, and soon they too were making out.
THE END
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