A/N: Here, have some competely pointless Sickup and Pregstrid fluff. I guess this is what happens when I can't fall asleep.
Also, the title of this story is really crappy. I might come up with a better idea later (I'm open to suggestions).
When the door to the Haddock house opened that evening, Astrid turned around with a huge smile on herself. She had just finished making Hiccup's favorite soup, and for the first time in her life she was entirely sure she did everything right. She didn't get to do it too often - they usually had their meals in the Mead Hall with the rest of the village ("Of course it's not because of your cooking, Milady! It's just that... Um... well, it's nicer to have company during dinner, don't you think?") - but today has been a long and stressful day for her husband, and she wanted to surprise him.
She definitely didn't expect him to be draped over Eret's shoulder like a sack of potatoes, his features lax and pale and looking barely conscious.
The ladle she was holding dropped to the floor with a loud rattle.
"That's one sick Chief delivered for Astrid Haddock," Eret said solemnly.
Astrid immediately took her place by Hiccup's side - she didn't even remember crossing the room - and pressed her palm to his sweaty forehead. He could almost rival Hookfang in temperature. "What happened?" she breathed, her legs growing weak with anxiety.
"We were walking by the Mead Hall when he suddenly collapsed," Eret explained. "Thought I'd better bring him home before it gets dark."
"But I saw him this afternoon, he was fine!" Astrid said as she followed Eret to the bedroom. Eret turned around and carefully placed Hiccup on the bed, where he instantly curled into himself, moaning pitifully.
"That's what's so great about Eel Pox - one moment you're as healthy as a horse, and the next one you're barfing you guts out on the stairs to the Hall."
"I don't have Eel Pox," Hiccup wheezed, still not moving from his fetal position.
"Of course you don't." Eret cracked his neck a few times and turned to Astrid. "I'm going to get Gothi. You'll be fine by yourself for a while?"
"I will." Astrid sat on the bed and fumbled with the clasps of Hiccup's fur cloak, figuring he'll be much more comfortable without it. She only wished her hands would stop shaking so bad. Pull yourself together and stop acting like a hysterical wife. He's going to be fine. He has to be.
She breathed deeply and sent the larger man her warmest smile. "Thank you, Eret. I don't know what we'd do without you."
Eret smiled back. "Oh, it's no big deal. Just make sure he's up on his feet again soon, alright?"
Astrid nodded, though the tightness in her chest remained.
The moment she heard the front door closing she turned back to her husband. "I don't want to say 'I told you so'..."
"But you're going to say it anyway," Hiccup muttered with a frown, but it was only half-heartedly. He mostly looked like he was ready to pass out at every given second.
Astrid signed and pulled the cloak off his shoulders. This week Berk has experienced a severe outburst of Eel Pox, which left about half of the village's population sick and too weak to function. Hiccup has organized a group of dragon riders to collect the ingredients for the cure and fly to Eel Island (much to Toothless's dismay), and once the medicine was ready he made sure that every sick person on Berk got his fill. After that, he demanded that everyone who still hadn't caught the virus would take some as well, to prevent them from getting sick at all.
Everyone except for himself, of course. "I'm fine", "The others need it more than me", "I never get sick", he told anyone who tried to convince him otherwise before waving his hand dismissively and rushing back to his duties. Valka, Gobber, Eret, Fishlegs, even Snotlout - they all tried to get him to swallow a few spoons of the damn medicine, but he was too stubborn. Then Astrid stepped in, and soon it became a shouting match in the middle of the Mead Hall.
He insisted she'd be among the first ones to take the cure. She said she'd do it only if he promised to take it himself right after that. After arguing for almost half an hour, he surrendered and gave her his word - which he broke only a few hours later. The healers ran out of medicine before he got the chance to have some, and now he was the only person with Eel Pox on the entire island.
His stubbornness was going to kill him someday.
Astrid folded the thick cloak, trying very hard to control herself. She wanted to scream at Hiccup, or slap him, or both, but he was simply too sick to handle this right now. At last, she spoke, her voice restrained and stable. "You should have taken the cure, Hiccup."
Hiccup swallowed hard, clearly trying to fight off another wave of nausea. "Other people needed it more than me," he mumbled.
"That's yak's shit. The ones who were sick, yes, but the others were perfectly fine and yet you still insisted they'd take it before you. Why would they be more important than their Chief?"
"Being Chief doesn't make my wellbeing more important than others'."
"Stop being so goddamn noble, Hiccup."
"Astrid, not all the healthy people got to take it, okay? We first gave it to the young children and the elderly. And to you."
"I'm not a child or an elder."
"No, but you carry a child. Our child. This fact automatically makes you more important than others, whether you like it or not."
Astrid opened her mouth to answer, only to shut it back a moment later. She was pregnant for barely two months and Hiccup has already been fussing over her all day as if she was going to break. It drove her mad, but he was right about one thing - she couldn't risk herself catching some horrible disease such as Eel Pox. Not when there was another life growing inside of her.
So, in the end, Hiccup did the right thing. As he usually did.
Sometimes she really hated that quality of him.
A sudden moan tore her from these thoughts. Hiccup was struggling to sit up, his face turning a pale shade of green.
Astrid wrapped one arm around his back to keep him upright. "What? What it is?" she asked.
Hiccup closed his eyes, taking a long breath through his nose. "Can you get the bucket?" he said in a low, strained voice. "Like, right now?"
Astrid immediately caught what was going on. "Oh, sure! Just... hold on!" she raced to the kitchen, snatched a wooden bucket from the corner and hurried back into the bedroom, hoisting the bucket onto the bed and placing it right under Hiccup's chin. Hiccup barely managed to thank her before his head disappeared inside, and for a few minutes the only sound in the room was his dinner making a reappearance with all its glory. Astrid patted his back in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.
When this was finally over and Hiccup wiped his mouth with a shaky arm, Astrid took the bucket and intended to get up and wash it outside, but Hiccup grabbed her wrist with a painfully weak grip. "Stay," he rasped, and before she could say anything he curled into himself again and rested his head on her thighs, his face pressed against her belly. Her belly, which was no more than a tiny bump, still insignificant and unnoticeable. For now.
Astrid smiled sadly and smoothed the sweaty bangs away from his face. "Come on, Hiccup, Gothi's going to be soon."
Hiccup winced at the mention of the old healer. "I don't want her to come. She's going to hit me with her staff for not taking care of myself. She always does it."
"That's because you never take care of yourself."
"She's mean."
Astrid couldn't help but giggle. People tended to act completely different from their usual self when they were sick, especially with a disease like Eel Pox which had a nasty habit of messing up your mind. Sick Hiccup was whiny and dependent and pretty much acted like a five year old. Astrid knew that it was just the beginning; that in the days to come, until they find the ingredients again and make a new cure, he is going to get more and more clingy and she'll probably consider flattening him with her axe; but right now, as he lay in her lap and whimpered like a sick child, he was simply too cute to be mad at.
Besides, she probably needed some practice in handling a sick child, considered how her life was going to look like seven months from now.
Astrid took her husband's clammy hand and squeezed it. "You were right about making me take the cure," she said quietly. "But you forget that this baby needs his father as much as he needs his mother. It can't have you neglecting your health like this. Besides, I need you. I can't do this on my own."
Hiccup didn't answer. For a moment Astrid thought he fell asleep, but then he reached out a hand and touched her belly very gently, his finger drawing small circles on her tunic.
"I'm sorry, little one," he whispered with his eyes closed. "Your Dad acted like a total idiot today. I'm afraid you'll have to get used to it."
"Don't tell it to get used to it!" Astrid called with a snort of laughter.
"And to Mommy yelling at Daddy, even when he's so sick and helpless."
"Ha-ha. Did you hear that? That was the sound of my heart breaking."
She felt Hiccup smile against stomach. "It's okay. Sometimes I deserve a good yelling, after all."
"That is probably the most logical thing you said today."
Hiccup wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close and burying his face in her tunic. "Don't worry. Daddy may be an idiot from time to time, but he'll get better. He's never going to let himself get sick like this again, because then he won't be able to protect you and your Mom."
At this point Astrid wasn't totally sure if all this baby talk was him or the Eel Pox. She didn't really mind, though, as she ran her fingers through Hiccup's hair, tugging gently at one small braid. "You know what, baby? your Dad really is an idiot," she said. "But, for some reason, Mommy still loves this idiot. Very, very much. You better get used to that."
She expected Hiccup to come up with some witty remark, but when that didn't happen, she looked down and found out that he has finally fallen asleep, his palm still resting on her stomach.
Astrid smiled to herself, knowing that she'll have to wake him when Gothi gets here, which could be any second now. But for now, she could let him sleep.
For now, she could let him dwell on the part of him being an idiot. She was still mad at him and she was going to make sure he'll regret making himself sick like this.
When he heals she can get back to the part where she loves him very, very much, despite everything.
If you still haven't died from sugar poisining, a review would be nice ;)