Title: Sunset to Sunrise
Summary: AU Based on the song 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder. Sawyer gets a late night call from a certain someone. ONESHOT
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
Author Notes: This is - as you already know - based on the song 'Lips of an Angel' by Hinder, which is an awesome song. It has no connection to the series, unfortunately, and it's just a short little somethin' somethin' that I came up in class. Hope you guys enjoy it!
Sawyer was sitting on the park bench when the sun began to set, orange and pink colours splayed across the clouds in front of him. He set his book down and lifted his glasses up to their perch on his forehead. He smiled lightly at the view, leaning back and putting his hands behind his head as he did.
"Enjoying yourself?" She asked from beside him and his smile increased as his arm went down around her.
"You bet I am."
And it was true. It really was completely per-
The shrill sound of the phone ringing next to his ear woke him up suddenly. Groaning he lifted his head up from the pillow, trying to rid his eyes of the sleep which was preventing him from grabbing the guilty phone and smashing it against the nearest hard surface.
"Honey, can you get that?" The voice of his long-time girlfriend, Kate Austen, reached his ears from the other side of the bed and he grunted in response. Reaching out blindly, he grabbed the cordless phone off its cradle.
"Hello?" He grunted into the phone, but was only met with breathing on the other side. It wasn't the typical stalker heavy breathing that was overused in movies, it was quiet and almost sounded like soft sighs or sobs. But that was lost on Sawyer, as most things are on people who've just woken up.
"Listen buddy, you're the one who woke me up at," He glanced at the clock, "3 in the morning. So I suggest you speak 'fore I-"
"Haven't changed have you?" That made Sawyer pause, because the voice on the other end - which was half accusatory and half bemused - was none other than the woman he had parted ways with three years ago. The woman who he could have spent the rest of his life with happily.
"Who is it sweetie?" Kate asked, snapping Sawyer out of his reverie. Covering the mouth piece with his hand, he flipped the doona over and swung his legs out of bed, getting ready for a quick exit.
"Uh, Jack." He lied and quickly crossed the bedroom, his bare feet padding along the carpet. He went into the adjacent lounge room and shut the door behind him with a soft click.
"I wake the missus up?" The voice on the other line had a tinge of bitterness.
"You woke me up. At 3 in the morning." Sawyer hissed into the phone, showing that he wasn't exactly too pleased with that.
"I'm sorry." She muttered, admitting that his annoyance was well founded, "I figured you would be up."
"Why's that now?" He growled, some of the edge taken off his voice, which was still quiet as he didn't want Kate to hear the conversation.
"You used to stay up till 4 AM." She pointed out and he chuckled, the memories of those long nights had not left him yet, they seemed to have happened so recently that they were still fresh in his mind, as fresh as what happened last week on TV.
"Only cos you kept me up." His tone had now crossed over to good-natured humour and he knew that it made her relax.
"Yeah, yeah, keep telling yourself that." The sarcasm practically dripped out of the receiver and Sawyer chuckled.
"Will do." He promised as he crossed over into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a beer. Grabbing the bottle-opener off the counter, he opened the bottle with a pop and hiss.
"Heineken?" The question threw Sawyer a little off. Since when did she become a psychic?
"Uh yeah, how did you-?" He started to question but she interrupted with the answer.
"Old habits die hard." She explained in one cliché phrase and he grimaced at it.
"That they do." He agreed, taking a long pull on the beer.
"I miss you." She said suddenly, as if knowing that if she didn't say it now she never would.
"Now here I was wondering why you'd called and well..." For someone who wasn't known for his tact, Sawyer's stalling method was quite refined. While he said it, his brain was whirring as to the possibilities the statement had to offer.
"That would be it." She finished.
"That would be it." He echoed. Then he took a deep breath and did something he hadn't done for a long time. Admit to his real feelings.
"I miss you too." He said, and heard her slight sigh of relief. She was probably letting out the breath that she'd held in since she'd admitted to missing him.
"It's been so long but-" She started what Sawyer could sense would be a word vomit that would involve embarrassment and stumbling around for the correct word on several occasions, so he saved her from it and interrupted her, reassuringly.
"I know," He paused and then said, "The hardest thing I've had to do in my life, was gettin' over you."
"You were going to ask me to marry you." She said, her voice wavering as she did. His mouth went immediately dry at this. How did she know?
"Who told you?" He croaked out and she hesitated before confessing the truth.
"Jack." She admitted and Sawyer almost broke the beer bottle, his grip tightening around it. Swearing under his breath, he swore to get vengeance on his somewhat clueless cousin.
"Son of a-"
"Don't blame him, I put on my scary face." She said, successfully causing his anger to cease momentarily, and the corners of his lips turned upwards.
"Jack should learn to keep his mouth shut." He grumbled and felt her smirk on the other end. Then, the joking mood went serious once again.
"I would've said 'yes'." She said quietly and Sawyer froze, beer raised halfway to his lips. Then his fingers went weak and he felt the bottle slide out of his hands in slow motion and he watched it fall to the floor and shatter.
"Shit!" He swore loudly, jumping back and managing to miss being shredded by glass by a millisecond.
"Are you okay?" She asked, concerned as to why he would suddenly yelp and swear as he did.
"Yeah, fine." He swore under his breath again as he bent to collect the glass. He peered around the corner of the counter, checking to see if Kate had been woken and would come charging out looking disgruntled and panicked. Luckily, she hadn't. Thank god for small favours, such as Kate's ability to sleep through a heavy metal concert.
He collected the glass quickly, throwing it into the bin. However, in his haste he managed to cut himself.
"Goddamnit!" He swore again, peering at the dark red liquid that had suddenly appeared in a thin line on his hand.
"You sure you're okay?" She asked tentatively and Sawyer grunted, trying to hold in the howl of pain that was ready and willing to escape his lips. He went over to the sink, running his hand under water for a minute, clearing away the blood. He then held his hand up close to his eyes, inspecting the wound.
Tutting at his own sensitivity, he retrieved band-aids from the bathroom and covered the shallow wound.
"I'm fine." He reassured her, "I just cut myself accidentally."
"Well I'd hate to think you did it on purpose." She replied dryly, annoyed at how he'd let her panic for a few minutes.
"Now, where were we?" He asked, ignoring her annoyance.
"I won't say, you might drop something and cut yourself again." She replied and he winced, this would be hard to live down.
"Ha ha, you're funny." He responded sarcastically and he could tell she was grinning by the glee in her voice.
"I know."
Then there was another short silence, and this time Sawyer broke it with a serious comment.
"We were so happy. We would've been so happy if-"
"I know." The exact same sentence from before was now a great deal different, her tone sadder. He could hear the unshed tears in her voice and wished he could take her into his arms and comfort her.
"I woulda called him James." He said, trying - and somehow succeeding - at making her feel better.
"Oh and I guess a girl would be an impossibility?" She asked, it was a topic that had come up often and he chuckled at the fact that they were the exact same words they'd spoken years ago.
"Course not. She'd be James too." He joked with a wide grin.
"Well they wouldn't tease her for that at all." She rolled her eyes at him and his grin widened, he loved her sarcasm more than it was healthy.
"At least it'd keep the boys away. Damn horny bastards."
"You could be classified as a 'damn horny bastard', you know."
"Exactly! You want our daughter 'round boys like me?" He asked incredulously and she chuckled.
"Well now that you mention it..."
The banter was exchanged as easily as it was three years ago. It made Sawyer smile, at first happily but then it turned to regret as he reminded himself that they were no longer in the positions they were a few years ago.
"I still don't know why you wanted our child to have the same name as you." She said, her voice sad as it seemed she also dragged herself back into the present.
"I dunno," Sawyer began, and then amended it slightly, "I guess I just thought that if I wasn't there to protect them, my name could somehow do it." There was a pause and Sawyer knew she was somewhat surprised by the vulnerability of the answer. Then she did what was a bad habit for both of them, shrug it off with humour.
"Anyone ever tell you that you need a psychiatrist?" She asked and he chuckled.
"Yeah. You. Many times." He replied and she laughed.
"Well this is once more."
"Gee thanks for that." He thanked her, his sarcasm almost so concentrated that it took solid form.
"You're welcome!" She replied sunnily.
"I had a dream about you."
"Really?" She asked, shocked for a reason that Sawyer wasn't sure about the reasoning behind.
"Yeah. Before you woke me up that is." He couldn't help but use the jab as he felt her shift uncomfortably at that again.
"Sorry." She muttered but Sawyer glided right over it, he'd forgiven her within the minute, he just liked teasing her.
"No worries, we were on that bench. Watching the sun set." He said and then there was a silence as they both soaked the moment in.
"This isn't how it's meant to be." She said and Sawyer was caught off guard.
"How what wasn't meant to be?"
"Us. After we... You're meant to be able to get over someone, not be stuck with needing them for so long." She said and Sawyer felt his breath hitch as she described exactly what he was going through, except with more poise than how he would've put it.
"Sawyer..." She said quietly and he felt his heart wrench at that one word.
"Please, Ana..." He pleaded with her as he heard her gallantly try and hold back the tears that were threatening. For both of them. His eyes pricked as he tried to keep back the emotions that he'd hidden away for three years.
"I shouldn't have left you."
Sawyer's stomach sank as he remembered the day as clearly as he remembered the other - happier - memories that had come before it.
It had been a month since they had lost the child and it hadn't been the same since then. Their depression was almost tangible, everything they did reeked of the grief which had been plaguing them without break. They never talked anymore, the only words that passed between them were 'Pass the milk' at the breakfast table. Ana spent more time at work than was healthy, so they only saw each other in the early morning and when she came home at night.
Sawyer sat at home for hours at a time, not moving or thinking, just sitting in one position and feeling like he was numb. He would sometimes take out the engagement ring and turn it over in his fingers, watching it glint in the light.
A month ago he had been planning to ask her to marry him, and couldn't think of anything he'd want to do more than spend the rest of his life with Ana and their child. But now...
Things had changed.
He was doing it now, looking at it sitting in the velvet jewellery box he sighed and shut it. This wasn't how it was meant to be, he thought, looking out the window.
The door opened slowly and Sawyer looked up, shocked that Ana had actually come home before the twilight hours. But when he saw her face his expression of happiness left him and he felt the numbness creep in again.
This would not be good.
"I'm leaving."
And she had. With a small suitcase and no more words, she had left. Sawyer hadn't even tried to stop her, something he'd regretted to this very day. But as he snapped back to reality he realised that she was still on the other line, and he heard her take in one deep shuddery breath that was wracked with sobs that she was trying so hard to hold back.
"I love you."
And then the line went dead. Sawyer stared at the phone in his hand and blinked. It almost seemed like a dream, it felt so surreal. He went back into the bedroom and dropped the phone back onto its resting place. He sat down on the bed, his legs no longer able to hold his weight. He stared off into the distance and felt like the whole world had just crumbled before him.
"What did Jack want?" Kate asked from behind him and he glanced at her momentarily.
"Uh, nothing. I need to take a walk." He said and then, without explanation got up and walked out.
He walked without purpose, or a clear idea of where he was going. But eventually he reached his destination, a destination he hadn't been aware of till he got there and sat down. It was the bench from his dream.
He leaned forward, his head in his hands as he finally let the tears slip out, drawing shuddery breaths as he did. He cried for Ana, for the child they lost, for the situation he found himself in, for the pain he would cause Kate when he finally admitted to her the truth, for the fact that he - a grown man - was bawling in the park.
He felt someone sit next to him and wiped away any stray tears quickly, as he looked to his left, curious as to who would be sitting on a bench at 5 in the morning. Then his breath was taken away quite literally.
It was her. Ana.
He shifted sideways slightly to accommodate her and tried to return his eyes to the view in front of them, but they drifted back over to her soon enough. Then he finally put his thoughts to words, after a moment of hesitation.
"I can't say goodbye to you. Not again." He said and she looked over at him, her own eyes red from tears. And, although most others probably wouldn't understand what he was referring to, at least not right away, she did from one look at him.
"Then don't." She said simply and a smile crept onto his features. She offered him her own small smile and then they both turned back to the view in front of them.
Then they just sat there silently and watched the sun rise.