A/N: I wanted to write another story (I know I need to continue the others too, and I will) but I wanted to write something like this. The idea is from inlya too P... Thanks to Cybrokat for beta-ing... THANK YOU! (for this and everything else) I hope you like it, will continue this soon. Please leave a review...
Chapter 1:Grissom's POV:
When I park my car in front of the crime lab, I release a heavy sigh. I'm never late for work. I get out of my car and walk into the building. I avoid the gazes and walk as fast as I can to my office to get the assignment slips. But just when I thought I was lucky I didn't bump into anyone from the team I see Catherine coming around the corner. She has a big grin plastered on her face and I walk into my office, pretending I haven't seen her.
No luck again, she knocks on the open door and walks in. I turn around and notice she is still smiling. I wonder what happened to her or, more specifically, who happened to her?
"Gil, you're late... that's nothing like you. What happened?"
"My neighbor..." Just when I start explaining she holds up her hand.
"I don't think I wanna know." She laughs and turns around to leave.
I sigh and pick up the assignment slips from my desk. Not a busy night today: a B&E, a robbery and a possible car accident. I look at my desk, it's full of papers. I should have taken more time to do the paperwork last night, now I'll still have a really busy shift doing all this.
"Catherine?"
She stops in her tracks and turns around. The smile had disappeared and she's looking at me seriously now.
"What's wrong? Paperwork bugging you again? You can forget it; I'm not going to do—"
Now I'm the one holding up my hand to stop her. Hasn't she learned to keep her mouth shut? She always has something to say.
"Can you hand out the assignments for me, please? Then I can start with the paperwork immediately."
She nods and takes the slips from my hand. I thank her and when she leaves my office I slowly sit down in my chair. I take the case file from the top and open it. I start reading; it's an old case, although the trial is still running. I look at the crime scene photos and sigh again, sometimes cases are really hard, this was one of them. I remember Sara getting really involved with this one.
I walk into the break room and see Sara sitting at the large table, shift was over already but she was still going over the facts. I sit down beside her. She doesn't look up, but I know that she knows I'm here.
"What are you doing here Grissom?" Her voice is cold and it scares me. She never speaks that cold.
"I can ask you exactly the same question Sara. You need to go home and get some rest; otherwise you will be of no use next shift. And I don't think you want to sit at home."
This gets her attention. She closes the case file and stands up to leave the room. When she is at the doorway she turns around. I see her cold glare and want to look away, but I know it is better not to.
"I'm fine, and I won't bother you again. I'll take this home and take a look at it there, so you don't have to see me. That sounds better doesn't it?"
I stand up and grab her wrist; she looks at me with confusion in her eyes. I swallow and look down, knowing what I want to say, but not knowing how to say it. I find the courage again and I look her in the eyes. I notice the tears starting to form there.
"Let me go Grissom."
She pulls herself away from my grip and opens the door of the break room. I know she's mad at me. But I think I have to live with that.
"Sara, wait... Just listen to me. I know this case is hard for you..." At this she looks at me with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"... it's hard for everybody. We see a lot of cruel things in this job, but children are the worst. I know how it affects you, me and everybody else. But please don't take your work home with you. I don't want you to become like me... please leave it here."
I stop and look down at the ground. She's sighing heavily; when I'm able to look her in the eyes again I see the tears, streaming down her cheeks. I don't know what to do, I want to wipe her tears away, to take her in my arms, but I know she won't appreciate any of this.
"What's wrong with being you? Why do you think it's bad to be like you? I mean... you're smart and... Never mind..."
With that she walks away, and I can only stare at the spot where she has been, just seconds ago.
I close the case file, rub my eyes and stretch my back. I write some important things about the case down on a paper and slip it in the file. I look at the pile of other cases and think about how I am going to work through all this. I know these case files will take me the whole shift, I know it's not busy, but I want to do something useful. I know paperwork is useful too, but it just isn't any fun.
I take the next file from the pile and open it. My mouth opens slightly and I swallow hard. This was something I didn't expect between the case files. I look at the photo, there's a woman on it... Sara. The picture was taken in the locker room; she was wearing nothing but a black lace thong. I know I can't look at the photo and I put it away in one of my desk drawers until I can figure out what to do about it.
Again I try to get my attention back to the cases, so I open a new file and read the first page. This case was more recent, only a week ago. It was the homicide I worked with Sara. A man had abused and killed his wife, again a case which upset Sara. I remember taking her home after we caught the guy. I was really worried about her; she was shaking and hadn't eaten in a few days.
It has been a hard few months, many cases with abuse and sexual assault. Sara really was on the edge now... One more case like this and she was going to explode... I suddenly realize something. What if she finds out about the photo? I need to destroy it.
Slowly I open my desk drawer, getting the photo out. I look at it again, seeing her beauty. I start at the top of her head, her small nose, cheeks and of course the gap between the two front teeth. I've always found that part of Sara very adorable. I wonder if you can feel the gap when you kiss her... God Gil, keep yourself in line.
I look further down her body, her swan neck and her collarbones, I've always wondered if the skin will feel as soft as it looks. If I could only taste a part of her... Gil! And then I'm finally there, her breasts... nice, round, curved. I wonder how they would feel in my hands or against my chest... don't go there Gil...
Then her flat stomach... down to the black lace thong... you can see right through it... don't think Gil, stop thinking, wait... keep breathing. Then last but not least my eyes wander to her long legs, again I'm thinkinghow would it feel to have those legs wrapped around me. Enough GIL, this is ENOUGH.
I stand up, not knowing what to do with this photo, but deciding to keep it in my locker until the end of shift. I'm thinking of taking it home with me, I know that's not good, so I decide to go and find out who made this photo. With the photo in my hand I stand in the middle of my office, feeling slightly dizzy.
A knock on the door startles me and I look up, confused; I see Sara standing in the doorway, she's smiling at me. I smile back at her and she walks in. She wraps her arms around herself and looks at me.
"Hey, what were you doing?"
I know my cheeks start to flush, but I try to keep my gaze serious. I can't help but looking at her body, the same as on the photo, only this time covered in clothes. I find the courage to look at her again and sigh.
"I was just looking through some crime scene photos."
She raises an eyebrow and I see her wondering which case I am referring to. I hope I can stop her, because there's no way she can see this photo. It will make her feel bad and I don't want to feel responsible for her bad mood. First I'm going to figure out who made this photo and then, maybe, I'll tell her about it.
"Which case?"
Crap. I should have known she would be asking. I look down at the ground and swallow, thinking of the last case we worked together. When we worked on it together she would probably know the details of the crime, so she didn't need to see the photos.
"From the suicide a few days ago."
She smiles at me and grabs the photo out of my hand. In the process she says: "That's what I came to see."
When she looks at the photo I can see her face getting pale. She looks down and the ground and I hear her swallow hard. I take a step forward but she backs away, hands up in defense. When she looks up I see the anger, embarrassment and the sadness. Tears are welling up in her eyes and she looking at me intently. I see she thinks I made this; I read it in her eyes.
After a while Sara is able to speak again. Still intently gazing at me.
"Why?"
I shake my head, confused. I hope she knows I'll never do this. I know how embarrassed she is feeling, although I've never been in a situation like that. I take a step forward again but she pushes me away. She pushes so hard that I stumble against my desk.
"I didn't do this, Sara. I –"
I can't even finish my sentence; before I know it I hear the door of my office close with a loud bang. She's gone. I sigh and walk out of my office, looking around, I can't see her anymore. I walk back into my office and sit down behind my desk. With my elbows I rest on my desk and I drop my head in my hands. I swallow and close my eyes.
What am I going to do?