A/N: Um, yeah, I know what you're thinking. "ANOTHER ONE-SHOT? DUDE!" But I swear, the multi-chaptered story will be published soon! I wrote a few chapters already, but my beta is kind of busy and... that's none of your business! I post at least something, don't I? So read it or not, I don't care. (Actually, I do, so read it.)
Disclaimer: Let's see what happens when I won't disclaim that I own iCarly. Are you gonna send me to jail? Go ahead, find me. You know you can't.
"Oh, please! I thought that we already went through this once! Feet are better than pudding!" I yelled at Sam and Freddie. We had this random discussion on iCarly four years ago and they brought it up now. What's the point of it? No point. They never have a point. Points are for losers like me. I guess they just ran out of reasons to fight.
"Pudding is FOOD! Of course it's better than feet! Would you eat someone's foot?" Sam screamed with a mouthful of my freshly baked cupcakes. Ignoring me must be really fun, Sammy! At least, you didn't have to attack my cupcakes. I was going to eat them! How delusional was I? Thinking that I may eat my own food which I made by myself in my oven? I know what you're thinking. 'In your dreams, Carly Shay!'
"You can wear a rainbow socks on your feet! What would world be without rainbow socks? It makes people smile!" Freddie exclaimed and gestured dramatically. What the fudge? Rainbow socks aren't a meaning of life. Couldn't they think up of something more reasonable? Their train of thought was freaking me out. Like, really people? Rainbow socks? They were starting to be unreasonable. Haha, you got the joke? They were never reasonable.
Spencer walked in a living room while humming Saturday by Rebecca Green. He and his chizzy songs. I should teach him what real music is. I might be a little classic when it comes to music, but at least, it's listenable! When he saw Sam and Freddie fighting, he turned around and started to speed out of the room. Before he could do so, I yelled, "Spencer!" He stopped running, lowered his head and looked at me in horror.
"What?" he whispered.
"Help me, please," I pouted. He sighed but did what I told him anyway. He walked toward Sam and Freddie. He was staring at them, not sure what he should do. "C'mon, Spencer!" I bid him.
"Guys?" he spoke to them hopelessly. They didn't even flinch. They kept arguing about the... feet and pudding issue.
"Pudding has a various flavors! You can have chocolate pudding, vanilla pudding, strawberry pudding..."
"You couldn't go to fridge and take your pudding if you haven't got feet!" Touché.
"GUYS!" Spencer yelled at them. They finally noticed him. Sam frowned and Freddie raised an eyebrow.
"What?" they snapped simultaneously. Spencer smiled at them nervously and patted the back of his head. He didn't have idea what he should tell them, did he? Same ol' Spencer. Sam and Freddie gazed at him with amused looks on their faces as he started to dance like a chicken. Okay, maybe it wasn't the best idea to make him be my hatchet man.
Sam and Freddie were about to start a new fight when Spencer suggested, "Let's play a game!"
"Game?" the two of them asked at the same time again.
"Yeah. It's called 'What job does Socko's relative'!" That... sounded interesting. Sam shrugged and sat on a couch. Freddie plopped next to her.
"Sooo," Spencer began. "What's the profession of Daisy?"
"Florist," Sam responded in a duh tone. Spencer frowned, but continued with his game.
"Tootie!"
"Dentist," Freddie rolled his eyes. I chuckled. Yeah, this game is really hard!
"Mike Roffone!"
"Do you seriously have to ask this?" I smiled. Spencer puckered his lips and nodded. "He's a distributor of microphones."
"Holly?"
"Nun!"
"Sue?"
"Lawyer!" we all shouted in frustration. That was the worse game we ever played. I crossed my arms on my chest and sighed, "Thanks for your effort, but we should stop it, Spence."
"No, no, the last one!" he jumped in anticipation. Sam and Freddie just rolled their eyes and waved at him to continue. "This one is good, I swear." Oh yeah, who will come now? Ty, the tie-maker or London, the guide? "John." Oh, that's so obvious! He's a- wait, it's not obvious. I didn't see that coming. Sam and Freddie didn't look to be sure what his profession is either. Spencer grinned widely and yawned. "C'mon, I'm waiting!"
"Dunno, tell us!" I said. If Spencer was grinning 'widely' before, I don't know how to call his triumphant smirk he was wearing after I admitted our defeat. It was creepy. The kind of creepy which makes you hide under your bed and then freak out because there might be a monster with the same creepy smile.
"Gotcha! He's a hobo!" Oh, ya. He was convicted right after his birth. John is not a name for a person from Socko's family! His parents should have know that. Spencer once told me about John's sister Claire who was almost a hobo, too, but then someone invented that awesome store with jewellery called Claire's and she got a job there. Poor John, he didn't have such a luck as Claire had. Maybe I could convince Nevel to open his own haberdashery called John's.
"But that's not a job!" Sam whined.
"Calm down, Sam," Freddie began to comfort her. I wonder if he ends up with a broken thumb or bald when he wakes up the next morning. "It's just a game."
"But momma plays for win!" she was yelling once again. Freddie took her hand, "Let's go get a smoothie." She smiled and kissed him briefly.
"Okay, but you're paying."
"I'm always paying, sweetie." Sam punched him in a stomach and whispered something what sounded like, "Next time you call me 'sweetie', I tell your mother you're not taking tick baths since tenth grade." They got up and left without saying goodbye. Harsh. I swear, those two have the weirdest relationship I've ever seen. When they started to date, I thought they will kill each other. They were fighting a lot, but no one (read: Freddie) didn't end up in a hospital and I take that as a good sign. They probably love each other. And I guess I will have to deal with it. It's not like they're having food fights and I'm the one who has to clean it or that they're making out every time we have a sleepover (I wish you could hear me sobbing hysterically while I'm saying this)...
"They're cute, though," I shook my head. Spencer looked at me, the goofy-smirk-grin still creeping on his face.
"Huh?" he asks, but his facial expression remains the same.
"Sam and Freddie. They're cute together."
"Hmm."
"Spencer? What's up?"
"My face hurts."
"Stop smiling like an idiot then." His expression softened. He opened and closed his mouth several times, stuck out his tongue, did the most weird thing with his jaw and let out a burp.
"Thanks Carly, that was smart." Sometimes I wonder if we're really siblings. Maybe he was switched at birth or adopted! I mean, yeah, I love him, but... sometimes I love him more, sometimes less. Now is the time when I love him less. Sure, he's the coolest brother ever! I just- ugh. One thing is sure, living with him is way better than being a Yakimite or Yakimian or Yakimanian or... who cares, you get the point.
Spencer took his keys and showed his cell to the pocket.
"Where are you going?" I asked nonchalantly.
"I have a date with Socko."
"Ah, I see."
"Did you tell Sam and Freddie about it already?"
"Do you want Sam to constantly make fun of you and telling your phone number to random guys?"
"You're right, don't tell them." I know what you think. SPENCER AND SOCKO ARE DATING? Please, let me explain! Okay, I don't have any explanation, it just happened. What was I saying about the weirdest relationship I've ever seen? I guess Seddie has some serious competition.
A/N: I just felt like writing something with Socko's relatives' names and Soccer (Socko + Spencer, isn't it the best shipping name ever? I'm not sure if they have any shipping name already). As almostinsane pointed out, Spencer seems to be 'unsure' about his... um... sexuality. And yeah, you probably figured out that it wasn't beta'd. Oh well... So here ya go. Review! Everyone who reviews will get a hot boyfriend/girlfriend in two days! I'm not lying! Just try. (And don't kill me when it doesn't happen. I'm an optimist, not a wizard!)