Chapter One

A/N: Hey! As you may or may not know, I was working on a story called Of Death Eaters And Blood Traitors. I haven't given up on it, but with stories I sometimes drop them for a month or two and start writing them again. Refreshen my brain and come up with new plot points. Only some though. I don't think it'll happen with this one since I have had it in my head for ages upon ages. And this one doesn't have as big of a plot to follow, just one that is very flexible. Which makes it easy to write. So here is the first chapter. I hope you enjoy!

September 1st, The train ride to hell.

Last night has to have been the worst of them all. Normally my father is out on business the week before school begins, so it is just me and my mother. God I love her. Now him, I have a serious problem with. Ever since I was little he treated me like shit. He'd always say I was a "waste of time and money" because I was a girl. A pureblood girl who isn't pretty is worth nothing at all.

Now things have changed though. I am going into my seventh year and I have grown up quite a bit and become what most guys say "The Slytherin Beauty". Not so sure if I respect that title so much, but everyone else thinks I do. I say if they bow down, make them go lower no?

Anyways today I am riding the Hogwart's Express in my own little compartment (thankfully, it's hell of hard to find ones own these days.). Draco and his cronies or the rest of my Slytherin year have yet to find me. Whoop. So I have time to write in my diary.

So, back to last night. Like I said, normally my dad is out on business. Not this time. Crap eh? Sure was. Right when I finished packing (which was easy since I can finally use magic outside of school) I went downstairs to grab a few extra quills to use and my diary which I had left down in the study. I walk in to find him sitting there boring over some book. As I walk closer I see it's my diary. The old one, from 4th to 6th year. He turns around and glares at me. I knew I was in deep shit.

"Pansy," he starts calmly putting a mask on his face now hiding the glare, "This boy… the Malfoy boy. You fancy him?"

Boom there it is. He knows now. I knew I must've been blushing since my cheeks were burning more then a fire. I just stand there not wanting to say anything.

"N- no," was all I managed to get out as I quickly grabbed the diary from him.

"You could have come to me with this you know," he said as I was just about to leave the room. Yet again I just stand there, too nervous to talk, "Be on your way."

Short and not so eventful you might think, but I know better. Much better. I hope he doesn't screw my life up because of this. Please father don't. I mean, what if he tells him? I know it seems childish to think these things, but you don't know my dad. No one does but me. He hides his true self to everyone, even mum. But she knows, I think she does anyhow. Even though she does nothing.

Crap, I think someone is coming. Must go before they see me writing again. People were getting annoyed when they weren't allowed to read the last one. It's a diary, What do they expect?

Pansy P, officially screwed.

September 1st, In my dorm

The rest of the girls are asleep now. So I decided it's the perfect time for writing now. It's one am, and I'm tired as all hells but I need to get this out. Writing in my diary calms me down a lot. Today was weird, sad, frustrating and just plain out of the ordinary.

So when I stopped writing in my diary someone walked in. Guess who? None other then my buddy Millicent. She was totally red in the face closed the door quickly behind her. She drew the curtains back over the windows and sat down on the seat across from me.

"Millie?" I said waving my hand in front of her face. She just looks at me with her eyes wide and lets out a small squeal.

"Okay, first things first," she said and took a deep breath, "How has your summer been?"

"Cut the bull crap, what's up?" I asked and narrowed my eyes at her.

"Well… Draco…hey you grew you hair out," she said eyeing me up and down the shaking her head, "Okay back to Draco.."

"Yes?" I asked eager to find out what she had to say. I knew I had to stop this creepy stalkerish thing, but it was hard. Ever since I first lay eyes on him.. I just.. Couldn't take them off.

"I was sitting in his compartment and he started ranting on about something his father said before last night."

"Mmm," I hummed and looked out the window, then back at Millicent who dropped her jaw at me.

"I know it sounds.. Not interesting, but then he said something about an arranged marriage. His father didn't tell him who yet, but only that it's been set up since he was born."

My face became whiter then it already was, if that's at all possible. He was going to get married to some other girl. Maybe it was a good idea to try and stop liking him now.. Yes.. It was.

Millicent looked at me as if I was from another world. Then she started pointing out all of the things I was doing differently. I don't know why, but it made me feel better. They all seemed positive. Although she pointed them out as negatives.

So here, right now, I'm deciding to let go of everything. At least almost everything. I decided to make a list of all the things about me I want to change and keep. Not have that bitchy self this year, maybe I'll actually stop liking him too.

1. Start wearing my hair up a bit more. It looks better, and now that I have longer hair it'll work better too.

2. Don't wear as skimpy outfits, it might look good both ways.

3. DON'T follow Draco around like his two cronies. I'm going to become my own woman and do my own thing.

4. DON'T think about Draco as much as possible. Don't let him get to me either. I must not break.

5. Focus on homework a tad bit more, but not enough to make me seem like a geek. Parents will like hopefully.

6. Go lightly on makeup, I don't need foundation either.

Okay, not so much keeping. But I'll add to the list later on. I just hope it'll work. Although I don't know what it is going to do.. I'll just have to wait and see. It's getting pretty late, don't want to be tired for first day of school. Night.

Pansy P. The New Me.

A/N: There it was, the first chapter of The New Me. I hope you enjoyed it. Also, I'm not sure if I should make it all a diary or not. I probably will keep writing it like this. Half and half. What do you think? Please tell me in a nice (or maybe not so nice) review.

Rampart