Title: Not really a bad day. It's more like… routine.

Author: Altheak

Verse: Civil War The Initiative

Young Avengers

Teddy Altman, Billy Kaplan and Tony Stark

Post Kree-Skrull war violence. Drama. Creepy fic. You're warned!

Shall I mention that I was reading 'Life and Death of Captain Marvel' last night?

I own nothing

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When he made out through the darkness the dozy, yet fretful, earthling, he knew it had been a safe move to assume the hatchling's features before entering the bedroom. He had to proceed before the wizard use his powers. He closed the door behind him and crawled on the bed. He leant over the dark-haired boy, who opened his eyes wide. His wrists were encircled by the wizard's clammy hands at once.

'It's me, Billy, me. Teddy. It's… just me.'

The panting boy soon stopped struggling.

'I'm sorry, Ted, I'm so sorry. I have these dreams…'

'Shh… S'okay, Billoved. It's okay.'

The boy relaxed in the intruder's embrace. He had not seen the blade sliding off the hired killer's hand. He offered his lips.

A full kiss could betray him. It was too intimate. He preferred nuzzling his neck, whispering sweet gibberish to his ear. He needed to reassure him of his identity and then, take advantage of this moment of weakness to eliminate the only reason for Princess Annelle's heir not to throne.

'Of course, you're Teddy', the wizard whispered, as he slid his hands under the shirt of the killer, who was engrossed in getting the blade back. The killer barely noticed when a hand went off his shoulder and hid under the cover.

The hand which was still on his back came to a standstill.

'Al-Mighty Creator bless the never-crowned Emperor.'

The other one triggered off a laser gun. The blast stifled the snap of bones and the implosion of burning flesh.

The wizard's smile faded when the two halves of the Emperor's body changed into the remains of a Skrull. An expression of panic came across his face. He turned over and saw Mar-Vell's son who was sat astride the window. His wings vanished as he entered the bedroom. He glanced at the Skrull corpse, then at the mortified 'Billy', and muttered: 'I don't have time for this.'

He pulled his gun out of his leather jacket and shot 'Billy' in the chest. Then, he turned towards the wardrobe. The blast had shattered the mirrored doors. Teddy kicked their remainders away and fumbled through the spotted pieces of clothes. Then, he emptied the drawers' ruined content on the floor.

He stood up, trying to ignore the memories that the atrocious smell of the burning Skrull flesh brought back in his mind.

He caught the reflection of 'Billy' on a shard of glass.

'What mistake did I make?'

'You broke in my flat, you piece of shit.'

'I mean, what…'

'Billy' swallowed and tried to sit up, but the pain was too acute. He fell back on the pillows and the hologram died out, revealing a Kree.

'When I impersonated your beloved, how did you know that I wasn't him?'

Teddy sighed.

'I wish I couldn't answer that question…'

He froze. A stroke of revelation.

He ran out of the bedroom and stopped the washing machine. The securing device would prevent him from opening its door, which let him enough time to make a call.

'I need a cleaner squad… and a new flat.'

'Agent Altman, you've already moved twice this month…'

'Please. And I'm afraid I won't get the deposit back for this one.'

He ended the call and grabbed his trousers out of the washing machine. The blood stains were still visible. He rummaged in the right pocket and eventually found what he was looking for.

He shot the dying Kree in the head before flying out through the window.

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'What happened to your ID, Altman?'

'What's wrong with my ID? It's perfectly clean and dry, I can assure you. Can't you recognize my photo?'

'I do, but the scan can't. It's useless.'

'What do you want me to say? I'll replace it.'

'We can't send you on a mission if you don't have a valid ID.'

'Does it mean that I have a day-off?'

'Humour me, Altman.'

'I don't want to do something illegal. Registered heroes with valid ID only. That's the law.'

'We don't have time for this, Altman, the gate has to be opened. The fate of the universe depends on…'

'I know. But I guess that my superhuman strength can do nothing against those locks.'

'What are you suggesting? Do you think of a more… subtle approach? Like a magical one? Do you think it will work?'

'I don't know! I'm not cosmically aware! … at least, he can try…'

'All right. Let's shazam your sidekick. Please, gents, step back.'

Teddy raised his hands and showed up the two gold bracelets. He slammed the Nega-bands together and the air became filled with bursts of ozone.

'Open the gate.'

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'Your country is p-proud of you.'

A hand brushed his shoulder, before fumbling aside. Billy Kaplan did not look up. He just grabbed Tony Stark's hand and helped the man to keep his balance, as he carried on congratulating his young protégé.

'And I'm… I'm proud of you… both. You did a great job… both of you. You work more efficiently when you're not staring at each other, wasting our time. Why is the long face for?'

Billy Kaplan did not answer. He brushed the gold bracelet on his wrist.

'You're not worrying about your wife, are ya? He is fine. Positerfecly … fine. You have spent wayyy enough time in the Negative Zone to know… he…is… fine.'