A/N: People this is my very first Saiyuki Fic…well…the first I've posted. I hope my writing style has improved since The Dark Side (Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender).

People, please be straightforward and honest in your reviews. Flames are very much welcome. Don't be polite and tell me that my story is good even if you hate it in reality. Quote-"Praises makes my (your) conscience better, but criticism makes me (you) a better writer."-Unquote. I don't know who that was from.

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"Die, Sanzo!" A random youkai shouted out from behind his so-called cavalry, having enough confidence that it won't be harmed waaaaaaay back in his group.

Gojyo rolled his eyes. Holy shit! If he had a penny for every time he heard that line he'd be a billionaire. He wouldn't be surprised at all if it was included in the "Book of Pointless Clichés".

"Oh boy. It looks like we have a detour, Sanzo," their driver said calmly up-front with his ever-present smile. Up 'till now, Gojyo was still wondering how he managed to do that almost all the time without his cheeks hurting. Maybe it was that shit he drank all the time. What was it called again? Oh yeah. Tea.

"T'ch." That was all Hakkai got as an answer from Mister Bald Blondie beside him.

The jeep swayed a little as the monkey across of him suddenly stood up. It didn't take a genius to see in his plate-sized eyes that he was hungry…again. You'd think he'd be more worried that they were going to be attacked by twenty demons in the middle of a very, very unstable, rocky ledge but then, what the hell.

"Aw! Come on! I'm hungry, Hakkai. Do we have to fight these guys?" Said monkey whined. "I'm not really in the mood, ta'day."

"It seems we have to, Goku. This mountain pass is the only way to the next village," Hakkai replied with that smile of his again.

The random youkai in the back was obviously getting irritated. "Hey! Don't you ignore us! Especially when you're about to die!" Hah! Like hell they're going to die!

"Hey, look, Hakkai," Gojyo said to the green eyed man in front. "This demon's pretty confident. Think we should make him eat his words?"

"Well, the boy in the last village did say this was the only route."

Gojyo smirked. He knew his friend well enough that that was Hakkai's way of saying, "Sure. Let's kick ass!"

"Come on! Let's make this quick!" Monkey shouted out, practically to his ears, as his nyoi-bo appeared in his hands. Gojyo was about to follow when he received a very strong kick to his chin as Goku jumped out of the vehicle.

"Oi! Watch where you're going, monkey!" He shouted as he sliced up a demon in half with his Shakujou while getting out of the jeep. When they were done with this, he'd give the monkey what was coming to him.

- - - - - - - - - -

Hakkai finished off the last of the youkai with his chi blast. The youkai gave off an agonizing scream as he burned and died.

Gojyo had always wondered how Hakkai managed to do that. A month after he saw him do that, he thought that it'd be pretty cool if he could do that, too. So, he got Hakkai to teach him and after long, grueling lectures on focusing, concentrating and shit about how to use things wisely, he quit after an hour.

He surveyed the scene for any more youkai to take care off. As far as he could see, everything was already cleaned up; pretty quickly, too. They usually took at least a half-hour to kill a youkai group this big, but this time, they took at least fifteen minutes (not that he was counting, he just kinda' noticed). And this was the only thing that attacked them the whole week. That was another good yet strange thing. Not only that, Hakkai said there'd be a string of villages after the next one, so it would take them only a day at the latest to get to each one. Maybe it was their lucky week or they won a lottery in heaven or something. Hell, the cliff didn't even break beneath their feet.

He looked to his left, to see Sanzo taking out a cigarette from its almost-empty Marlboro box. That was something not-good and strange. This was Prissy Priest's twentieth drag today. The guy usually takes until evening to take in that many, but the sun was still torturing them at its peak in the sky. Sanzo plus too much cigarettes equals Sanzo in bad mood…well, a worse mood than usual. Wonder what's gotten into him lately? They were having a good week and here's Mister Sanzo Prissy Priest ruining it all.

Ah, what the hell. Gojyo's not going to let some monk ruin his good mood.

He spotted Goku getting some peaches in a nearby tree and ran off to give him the noogie of his life.

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Sanzo took a drag out of his cigarette and let the nicotine fill out his lungs for as long as he could. And then he let all out, satisfied with the way the smoke swirled in the air.

God today was shitty. So were yesterday and the day before that. It was all because of that stupid headache he was getting, and it was getting worse each damn second of his life! And all he could do was try to ignore it and dull it as much as he can with the miracle that is the cigarette.

Why? Why the hell did they have to get that inn and not the other one? Sure, it was probably the more decent of the two, but then it was the cause of this entire fucking headache.

About three days ago they got four rooms at an inn at about mid-afternoon. Sure it was decent: running water, water heater, electricity, comfortable beds…Sanzo thought he might have a decent stay there, seeing as they've got all the conveniences and he got a room to himself. Sure he thought all that…until dinner. The innkeeper's son just had to show them his, quote-"really cute, really awesome and really huge dog"-unquote.

Sanzo, for one, didn't see anything particularly cute about it. It was enormous, big-nosed, and slobbering, but, unfortunately, Goku thought otherwise. He spent every possible second he could with the boy, and more so with the boy's dog and the rest of the seconds he spent pestering Sanzo to also get a dog. And when they left, Sanzo thought it was a good thing. It was simple. No dog means no more annoying than usual Goku. Goku would forget about it soon enough.

Nope; not happening. Sure, Goku seemed to have forgotten all about the dog. He was eating, he was shouting, he was playing mahjong, he was being annoying again without any mention of a dog.

But then the mental messages started to come in.

Sanzo used to think that his and Goku's telepathic link was a nuisance, now he thinks it's annoying as hell! There wasn't any moment in the past three days that he wouldn't suddenly start hearing things in his head such as "I want a dog," or "Dogs are awesome", or "Let's get a dog." And for the love of God, their link was still active in his sleep. He rarely even gets dreams, let alone dreams concerning meat buns and dogs.

Goku forgot about the dog, but deep down, he still wanted one, and the only person his subconscious could talk to about it was Sanzo, which was the reason for the damn headache he was getting now.

But he wasn't going to give in to the monkey. No. There was no snowball's chance in hell he was about to do that. Goku would forget about it completely soon enough, but a dog. God, a dog, tagging along on their mission. Their journey's hell enough as it is, but to endure constant barking and whining. No, he was never, ever going to get a pet, let alone some stupid dog.

…He could endure a kitten, though… maybe for a day or two.

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BUMP!

Sanzo grit his teeth harder. If it got any harder than that he was sure his teeth would break.

That was practically the millionth time they came across a road hump. Hakkai said
it would be like this for at least another three days. Great, just great. Goku's mental dog needs and Sanzo's headache were finally lessening and then suddenly they came across this. It would figure of course, that after a pretty satisfying two weeks with almost no youkai attacks, weak youkai attacks, his lessening headache and no more dreams about dogs, this would happen.

He suspected it before, and now he was sure that he was the heavens' own personal joke.

"Bingo," a certain Kanzeon Bosatsu said smugly.

BUMP!

There it was again.

"Ow! Hakkai, I bit my tongue!"

And of course, to add to it all, there was the idiotic ero-kappa to annoy him, along with his partner…

"Hakkai…how much closer 'till the next village? I'm starving."

…The monkey, also known as very, very annoying kid with a stomach for a brain.

The man beside Sanzo smiled uncertainly, trying to keep Goku from worrying and at the same time concentrating on the road. "We're almost there, Goku. Just wait a few more minutes. Twenty minutes at the latest."

"Well, how much longer until these damn road humps are out of the way?" Gojyo snapped.

"I told you. At least three more days. This isn't exactly easy for me, either."

"I'm sooooooooo hungry," whined Goku.

"Shut up, monkey," Gojyo drawled. "Typical that food's the only thing you can think about at a time like this. Shouldn't you be thinking more about what kind of babe you're going to have in your bed?" He said that last one with a smirk.

"Eeew. That's disgusting," Goku said, wrinkling his nose and sticking out his tongue at the same time.

And then more retorts and then shouting and then the occasional kicks and punches.

Sanzo was wrong. He wasn't the heavens' personal joke, he was their own comedy sketch. Maybe they gave him a title. Something like Sanzo the Sad Sadistic Monk.

Meanwhile, Kanzeon Bosatsu was pondering on that. "Hmm…I think I'd prefer Sanzo the Sheep."

BUMP!

There it was again.

"I told you not to pull at my hair!" Gojyo shouted from the back while trying to push away Goku.

"Well, take back what you said to me about being a monkey-"

BANG!

Sanzo had taken out his gun and shot randomly at the sky, giving them their first warning. "The next time, I'm going to aim right in between your eyes."

Silence…

That was more like it.

Sanzo somehow never got used to their whining and complaining, even if it was all routine already. It was like the day wouldn't be complete without it all, not that he wanted those days. Goku makes a complaint, Gojyo retorts, Sanzo threatens, and then silence followed. He didn't know about Hakkai though; he just he keeps quiet or passes a harmless pun…either way he'd smile.

Sanzo leaned back in his chair and relaxed a bit. And for a moment, just one moment, he was satisfied with the way things were (except for the road humps). Satisfied with the way they were quiet, with the cigarette in his mouth, with the light breeze cooling off his face. But Sanzo knew the term 'too good to be true'. And this one moment was the perfect example of it. Sooner or later, Goku would complain shit to Hakkai, and then Gojyo would insult for no reason at all, and then the whole cycle starts again. Whine, insult, threaten, silence…smile.

"Hakkai…Are we there, yet?"

Ah, right on cue.

"Twenty more minutes, Goku," Hakkai answered. Sanzo just kept quiet about the fact that that's what he said ten minutes ago. He didn't want to waste his breath when he could use it for a good cigarette. Besides, he would be using his breath, along with either his gun or Harisen later on.

"But Hakkaaaaaai." Again with the whining. "I'm hungry!" Any time now…

"That's all you're thinking about monkey. Just shut up." There it was.

"But I'm starving!"

"Well that's what you get when you have a stomach for a brain."

"I do not!"

And then more shouting, kicking and annoying Sanzo. This was where said breath with said Harisen or said gun came in handy.

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up!?" Sanzo stood up and shouted, facing the two at the back.

For one millisecond, Gojyo and Goku continued on with their fighting, not noticing the angry monk towering over them. But they noticed the silver sheen of the gun in said monk's hands a nanosecond before that. They stopped immediately and held up their hands in defeat.

Sanzo narrowed his eyes at them, not for once giving in or falling for that "Look-I'm-innocent-Don't-kill-me" face. But then, who needs blood to clean up in such good weather?He sat back down with his arms crossed across his chest. Beside him, Hakkai was laughing and smiling, and at the same time still trying to keep on Sanzo's good side. "yare yare desu ne…" he murmured. "Don't get mad, Sanzo. They're Gojyo and Goku, after all."

Sanzo didn't answer and just closed his eyes and tried to block off any annoyances that might come. But there was no need to because silence followed.

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A/N: I had a few beta-readers go through this, and so far they said it was okay, but I really don't think so for my first chapter. Please review and tell me anything wrong with it and I'll try to do something about it.

Oh yeah, and by the way, this was kinda' plot-less. It's the second chapter where the story starts. My beta-readers and editor just said it had to be that way; if you don't think so, please review to me about it.