I've cried myself to sleep last night

And every night since

I miss him

I love him

I always will

Shane Anderson walks down the hall's of Dalton heading for his first class. He's never been the same before. When he gets into class and sits down he doesn't even pay attention, he thinks about the night it happened in the hospital.

~Flashback~

Shane walks into a small hospital room for the fourth time this month. He walks in and sees the same angelic face as always.

"Hi" A groggily voice says from the bed. Shane smiles sadly and sits down beside Reed and takes his hand softly.

"Hi" He says quietly. Reed smiles.

"Shane? When do I get to go home?" Reed asks. Reed usually asks this question every other day. Shane looks at him and cups his cheek softly and kissing his forehead.

"I don't know. I hope it's soon though." Shane tries not to tear up because the doctors say the injuries he received could be fatal and that he might not have much longer to live. Shane chokes back a small sob and kisses the small boy slowly and lovingly, not wanting him to leave, not wanting to never to feel his soft lips on his again. Shane pulls away eyes getting redder.

"I-I'll be right b-back." Shane gets up and runs out of the room, gets to the lobby, sits down, and begins to cry.

I can't take it anymore, if I lose him what am I going to do? I love him to much to lose him. He feels a hand on his shoulder, he looks up and sees Kurt standing there with a sad look.

"Shane. Reed will be fine." Shane bites his lip trying to hold back another sob. Kurt hugs him tightly, Shane hugs back and whispers into his neck

"I can't lose him. If I do, I don't know what I'm going to do." Kurt just hugs him tighter silent tears falling down his own face.

Shane walks back into the room after he pulled himself together. As he sits down the monitors next to Reed start slowing down until they stop completely. Shane starts to panic and calls a doctor, who comes in and ushers him out the door. The doctor slams the door as Shane gets out. Shane waits in the lobby pacing nervously.

No no no what if he's… NO no Shane don't think like that!

The doctor walks out with a sad look on his face. Shane walks over to him quickly.

"W-what happened? Is he alright?" He says quickly. The doctor puts a hand on the tall boys shoulder.

"I'm sorry son, but the injuries he sustained caused him to pass…." Shane bites back a rather loud sob.

"You can go back to your school and tell your friends. I'm sure they'll want to know."

Shane nods and walks out the door then drives back to Dalton. When he gets there he sees everyone in the common room. When he gets in there everyone looks at him with hopeful eyes. Shane lets out the sob he was holding since the hospital.

"Reed's gone. H-he's gone" Everyone's faces fall then there's a death like silence in the room, everyone grieving for their beloved Doormouse. Shane walks up to his room and falls on the bed in a heap of sobs.

The funeral was long. Shane tried to walk to the podium to say things about Reed but he just ended up breaking down again.

~End Flashback~

Shane gets out of his car and walks through the graveyard. He kneels down beside a grave that's one year old today and places his hand on it.

"I know it may be dumb to talk to a headstone but I have to. I can't believe it's been one year since it happened…. I-It seems so much longer." Shane lets a few tears fall. "I-I miss you so much. I can't look or even think of someone that I will ever love as much as you. I still some times cry myself to sleep. I-I've tried to commit suicide so many times but now they have to keep a close look on me because I try it more now, mostly because I want to be with you again." Shane hangs his head and bites his lip. He looks back up and tears fall like a waterfall "Please Reed I need you so badly! I want to feel your soft lips on mine again. I need to feel your small body pressed to mine when we cuddle. To hear you voice when you sing again. To always be there to catch you when you fall."

Shane sits there and cries for a little bit longer then gets up and drives back to Dalton.