Is This Saving a Life?

Chapter One: Changing

~Kagome~

Have you ever sat around the camp fire with your closest friends and wondered if this would be the last time? It is an utterly terrifying, utterly unreal feeling that I would never wish upon anyone. Where there is typically levity and good natured teasing, all that remains is a grim reality, pondering what tomorrow's final battle will bring.

I watch as my friends stare listlessly into the cheery light of the flames, trying to ignore this overwhelming need to cry. How could this be fair? Sango and Miroku should be married, living the charmed life of newly weds, not whispering their goodbyes in the shadows of the night.

There is a bittersweet feeling, watching them reaching for each others hands, and, petty as it is, I am relieved with the realization that these seasoned warriors are as nervous as I am.

Granted, I'm not the same girl who fell down that well all those years ago either. Those days suddenly feel so far away as I close my eyes for a moment to pray that there will be more tomorrows after that. Speaking of future, my attention moves to the other couple in our group.

Inuyasha has made his choice, or rather he had accepted the choice we all realized he would make without ever realizing it. I am so very glad that the drama is finally over, and he seemed surprised when I told him with complete honesty that I wish them well and feel no ill will towards either of them.

Strangely enough, Kikyo and I have become almost sort of friends. They love each other and no longer have to hide it, and I get the closure I need. I guess that's what you call a win-win situation.

Alright girl. Just breathe. Clear your thoughts and push the negativity away. I mean, thoughts have power right? So we WILL win tomorrow. We WILL kill Naraku and we can ALL restart our lives. With a sigh, I pull Shippo closer to me, letting his familiar scent wash over me. I will protect him, if it was the last thing I do.

-.-. .-.-.-

~Kikyo~

This fight is not going as we had hoped at all. Of course with Naraku dictating the terms of our final battle, we should have been suspicious. However we could never have dreamed of something quite like this.

How could his new reincarnation resist both Kagome's and my holy powers, even when we attack as one? Those vile insects of his swarm around the shapeless behemoth, preventing the monk from using his cursed hand to end this quickly. Even still, we can not attack it directly due to two of his other incarnations deflecting any direct attacks on the abomination. It is beginning to feel a little hopeless, and yet the bastard sits there in his monster spawn, crimson eyes mocking us with laughter at our failed attempts.

It is clear he was toying with us. If I had blood in this clay body of mine, it would be boiling with anger. Instead this eternally cold body keeps my thoughts almost painfully clear.

With another arrow notched into place, I take aim, and find myself frozen, what remains of my soul left cold as I process the scene before me. Naraku's tentacle bursts from the ground, rushing straight towards my beloved's back. I futilely shift my aim, already knowing it's too late.

"INUYASHA!" It seemed like forever before I realize the one who is screaming is me.

Things seem to slow down, if possible becoming worse. Losing Inuyasha would hurt, but I know in the depths of my soul, the group could survive and go on if he fell. However the binding holding all of us together is my future self and I see the ploy too late. The poisoned flesh shifts angles and pain bursts through me as I watch everything go horribly wrong.

Kagome's wide eyes meet mine, the bright blue dulling rapidly as her life's blood pours from her body. The fading light of the day seems to shine on her trembling tired smile , a small trickle of ruby dripping from the corner of her lips.

Of course she would have preferred it to have been her. That frustrating noble streak of hers will forever vex me. She was made to be a true priestess. Self sacrifice comes so easily to her. I feel a stab of envy. But now is not the time for that. While all of the others are frozen, gasps of shock ripping through them, I begin to move once more. My hand can not be stilled when we need action!

My arrow finds it's mark true with the half breed's guard down. His ego demands he flaunt his victory. He deemed us broken without the strange young woman. Whether that is true or not, I will not let her sacrifice be in vain. His mistake is thinking we all would be paralyzed with grief or shock. That misstep will be his down fall.

Mocking laughter twists into screeches of pain. I don't drop my bow as I rush to my fading reincarnation. Inuyasha is holding her, his tears freely pouring from his wounded golden eyes. I don't bother to register the jealousy that the sight would normally cause within me, I do not even pay any mind to Miroku raising a barrier around us.

None of them matter right now, only the fact Kagome is dying and I have a crucial choice to make. One look at her wound, the toxic black sludge creeping through her veins, visibly eating her away before our very eyes kills hope before it can take root. She was doomed... At least she will be if we don't act quickly. Can I be that selfless? Just once more, no, the time for lying to myself is over, for the first time in my life can I be truly selfless? Be the priestess I was always destined to be? Can I make the choice she never hesitates to make?

I never wished to live the life of sacrifice my role demanded, but fate seems to be fickle like that. I look to Inuyasha. We had been so close to the life we had always dreamed of in our stolen moments. Things had finally become whole between us again. As I watch him sit there, once more mourning the loss of a dear woman in his life, I know my choice is made as much as his was.

I love him, but my time, our time, together, it has passed. Stealing my soul back from her now, after all of this, would be too cruel. Somehow, deep down, I know he would no longer see me when he looked at my face. The cruel irony did not escape me. I would be living the life she had been ever since I had been brought back to the realm I was no longer a part of. He would only see a reflection of her. I have been a fool, fighting this, fighting her. She is my future. I was too blinded by darkness to see she always was, and if I selfishly allow her to die now, it would be a future wasted. I will live through her…and that is something I can live with.

I have never missed crying, always finding it a sensation beneath me, but as I take in his pain, I suddenly wished I could show him how much he means to me. How sad I truly am at saying goodbye, and how grateful I am that this time it would be on my terms.

"Inuyasha... I'm sorry." my whisper was soft, for his sensitive ears alone. I will do anything it takes to make sure this woman who will save the world, demon and human alike, survives. With a deep breath, I began throwing up my own barrier, gently reaching out to touch her face that had grown far too pale.

"You will not greet death this day Kagome." I promise, focusing my entire being on this desire. Closing my eyes, I could feel the strands that bound us, my way of always finding her and through her, Inuyasha. Praying with all of my soul that this would work, I yank viciously on that tie, ripping her spirit from her dying body and into my own shell.

I know not if it is her or I who scream, or perhaps both, but I do not care. My mission is clear. The burning pain does not matter, only success in pulling her essence into my body. I feel her toeing the gray line of death and think again forcefully, 'No! Not today!'

I barely notice the familiar power of pink barrier enfolding around us as I begged the bright young woman to cling to life, stepping back into my own mind and pushing her forward as I relinquish control of my vessel to her.

With a sigh of relief, I feel her spark, her will to live flare to life at a shared memory of her holding the young fox back at camp, bright emerald orbs flashing up at her with adoration. Of the slayer and the monk looking at each other with soft smiles, their hands secretly reaching for the other's behind their backs. And then there is him, Inuyasha, his boyish smirk as he stood behind them all, Tessaiga casually propped over his shoulder.

Fanning her will to live I smile slightly, feeling peace stealing over me. Turning my fading gaze to Inuyasha, I feel no regrets. This time, I die knowing it has been worth it. That this time, I have loved with all my heart, and died for his happiness.

"Goodbye Inuyasha. May we meet again." I say softly before falling into the welcoming embrace of nothing.

~Kagome~

I was dying. I know I was... So…why wasn't I dead? Had I missed something?!

I look over to see Inuyasha, his tawny eyes rimmed in red from his tears. Then I realize he is reaching for me but is blocked by a wall of energy. Finally I realize I am holding something. I can't stop the girlish scream that escapes me as I jump away from my own rapidly decomposing body, the stench of miasma closing as I scrabble backwards.

Was that…me? Realization came slowly as I hesitantly looked down at myself, realizing that the white haori and red hakama were in fact…Kikyo's. Glancing back at my decaying form on the ground, I slowly start putting the pieces of the puzzle together.

I am alive…in Kikyo's body.

I pull my focus away from the grotesque sight of my own corpse collapsing in on itself, instead turning toward the screeching form of Naraku, already half purified, reminding me of our current priorities.

Now is not the time to wonder how we played musical chairs with our bodies. We have a battle to win.

With a hiss of anger, I grab the discarded bow beside me, my last arrow is notched and drawn it as far back as I can manage without so much as a thought, my focus only on my target. Reaching for the familiar energy I have trained with for years, I can't help but feel shocked at that difference I in it.

An inferno of holy flames seem to rage inside me at the barest thought.

"Naraku! This will be the end of you! I will never allow you to ever hurt my friends ever again!" I scream as I release the arrow. For a moment I wonder if I use too much energy as a flood of holy power burst through me, over powering the weird looking sludge thing that had been previously nullifying my holy powers.

The world suddenly seem to be covered in the pink and white glow as Naraku and his incarnations attempt to scramble away, dissolving before our very eyes from my power. Naraku's pained screams reach a higher octave, pain morphing to despaired frustration as what should have been his victory becomes his grave, purified along with his newest creation.

There is a stillness in the air as the dust begins to clear. It is soon broken as Miroku lets out a gasp of shock, quickly followed by his sobs reached me, the joy of the broken curse of the wind tunnel forgotten as he and the others move to my fallen body, only a shell of what I had been.

I can only stare at his hand, no longer hidden behind his cloth and rosary, now free from the hellish wind tunnel. I break out of my reverie at the sound of Sango's loud wail, the woman I have grown to see as a sister breaking at the sight of my mutilated body.

"Wait," I call out, startled when she whirls on me with an almost crazed grief driven fury in her dark gaze.

"You undead bitch! You were just waiting for this chance weren't you!" she snarls, raising her hand to slap me. Too startled to do anything I only stand there watching as Inuyasha steps between us, shaking with his own grief. "Kikyo tried to save her." he manages, his cracking voice twisting the icy blade in my heart.

"Tried? I am mostly sure she managed it. Last I checked I am still Kagome." I say, frowning when they tense at my words. I take in the disbelieving gazes of my friends, watching them each search and seem to find something they needed to see. Sango and Miroku's shoulders seem to slump with relief, though questions linger in my friend's curious violet gaze.

My own relief fades as I witness Inuyasha's desperate gaze meet mine, conflicting hope and grief warring within their depths before he seems to crumble in on himself. This time, my heart truly breaks at the sound of his keening howl of pain as he launches off towards the woods, leaving me feeling guilty for something I had no control over.

-.-. .-.-.-

We are too far from a town to find an inn before sunset, however it doesn't take very long for Shippo to sniff out a natural hot spring for us. With the lovey dovey looks Sango and Miroku are sharing, Shippo, Kirara, and I decide we should head to soak on our own and give them some privacy. After our day, it is the least I can do for them. Besides, While the loss of Kikyo does not seem incredibly hard on them, it bothers me and it s killing Inuyasha. He still has not made it back and I can only worry over how long he will be gone and how he will cope with the love of his life gone for real this time. I carefully adjust my pack without dislodging either of my carefully perched companions, following the now visible steam.

I have my mirror with me, but I haven't worked up the courage to look in it yet, carefully setting it face down beside the rock I plan to soak against before I begin to strip away the grime covered priestess clothes that had been Kikyo's. It was a strange feeling, realizing she wouldn't be there anymore. We wouldn't have our quiet late night walks where she would continue my lessons that Kaede had not gotten to before her passing the winter before. No more of the subtle jokes she would make that the others seemed to miss. I know we did not have the best of starts, but in the end, I would like to think she had considered me a friend too. I mean, she sacrificed everything for me. I still am uncertain about what exactly that means for me, and there is the fact we haven't found any sign of the jewel at all which makes me more than a little uncomfortable.

Shippo picks up on my need for a bit of silence and busies himself playing with Kirara who did not seem to have much love for the water, warm or not. Ok so list time:

A. I apparently have a ridiculous store of energy, which kind of makes sense considering Kikyo was so powerful and I've grown a lot on my own too, so there's that.

body is gone and I am now in Kikyo's body, I think, but she always complained of not having a strong sense of sensation where as I am feeling everything even better than I did in my own body, which is a another question to add to the list(note to self mental pin to find out what exactly I am made of.)

3. Definitely need to get a start looking for the jewel before someone not good finds it and we end up with another Naraku or worse.

Dot point D4. I need to get better at makings lists-

I shake my head quickly, trying to clear away the thoughts as I turn my gaze onto the one constant I know in my life. Shippo is using a small ball of his fox fire to play with Kirara, the small cat demon pouncing after it with a hunter's single minded determination. I can not stifle my giggles when he shifts it just enough that Kirara bounds to catch it, landing directly in the springs with a small splash and an indignant mewl as she scrambles to the shore to begin licking her fur clean.

Maybe life can get back to normal, or some semblance of it. First though, I had to clear this hurdle." Shippo, How do I look now...?" I ask, frowning a little at myself, hearing nerves that made no sense. I mean Kikyo was gorgeous, it's not as if ending up in her body was a curse... except for the fact I had only recently distinguished myself from her.

Shippo's brows furrow into a cute little "v" as he stares intently at me. We had filled him in on the battle, so he knows as much of what happened as we do, but he hasn't commented, only made a point of staying much closer to me. It makes me feel a little guilty honestly. I almost left him alone after promising I would always be there for him, Inuyasha too. The thought of my almost death sends a shiver down my spine and the taste of bile rises in the back of my throat, but that must be in my head, right?

"You look like both of you." he answers, abruptly pulling me from my once more spiraling thoughts. "I can still see my Mamma, but, there's some of her in you too." he says, seeming to struggle to explain himself. I smile, opening my arms for the hug I know he needs as much as I do. With Shippo here with me, and Kirara close by drying herself off, I finally find the courage to peek at my reflection.

Taking a deep breath I pick up the mirror, opening one squinted eye, then another before a surprised gasp escapes me. My own blue eyes are staring at me, a little darker than I remember but still recognizable. Tilting my head I see a familiar flush, but her regal jawline, and nose, but I'm there in my smile. It is strange, and Shippo's words make sense now. It's like I got the best of both of us. I don't know what I expected, but this isn't so bad I guess.

"Can we play a game?" he asks, looking up with those green eyes I can almost never say no to. I mean we are as safe as we have ever been with Naraku gone right? May as well let him have some fun. "Alright, what are you thinking?" I ask, unable to stop a small smile at him.

"Hide and seek!" he declares and I nod my acceptance of his choice and turn around, covering my eyes. "No going too far from the spring though." I caution. I mean, after all, this is still the warning states. me need to tempt fate.

I hear him agreeing to my terms and giggling as she splashes from the water, shaking himself. I start counting from One to Twenty but I stop when his giggles become a yelp of stark fear. Whirling around I stand up, uncaring of my state of dress, or lack there of really, looking for a hint of where he went. I see the leaves rustle on a withered old tree whose branches dip into the water on one side and hear Shippo screaming for me once more, a snuffling groan I don't recognize right after. Kirara is at my side in battle mode with a burst of flames and I am rushing to Shippo's voice, scooping up a hefty branch on my way.

It takes me a moment to process what I am seeing as I circle the tree. It looks like the top half of a bandit is crawling towards the tree where Shippo is perching in, its gnarled, twisted grey hand reaching for the little fox . Zombie. That's the word I am thinking of and I finally process a strange smell. There is the typically rotting corpse you would expect but there is a cloying, oily sweet scent mixed in that it took me a moment to place. Tsubaki carried it and the witch who brought Kikyo back. There is something incredibly dark at work here. Gnashing teeth snap eagerly when Shippo slips a little, frothy slobber running down the creature's rotting face. Talon like claws reach up towards my lovable kit that only wanted a normal night of fun and something snapped in me. " Fucking hell! Was I Jack the freaking Ripper after Kikyo?! Zombies now?!" Ok, so not eloquent, but in my defense, I am pissed. And maybe a little scared but mostly pissed. First I break the jewel on accident, then Naraku, now freaking American B-movie grade undead are wandering Japan in the warning states?! I pray that this is an isolated incident but don't trust my luck as I approach it, a strange sensation crawling over my skin as I stalk towards the not so late, legless bandit.

"Get the hell away from him!" I yell, cursing when the un-dead thing turned towards me. It seems to still, staring at me expectantly with milky sightless eyes, like a trained dog awaiting orders from his master. I can see it still gnashing his nasty teeth, quivering with the temptation of a fresh morsel so close but it does not lunge after me like I expect, it just waits. I am totally hitting my cap of freaky by now.

"Shippo, You ok?" I call out, surprised how level my voice sounds.

"Y-yeah, your eyes are all glowing!" he answers, surprising me, "How are you doing that?!" He stayed high within the tree, seeming to sense to walk on the edge of caution. Which works for me because I have exactly zero ideas on what the heck is going on myself. I'm just as surprised as the next guy but for now, a good start would be copying the movies and smashing this guy's head in like a pumpkin. Definitely going to need another wash to get this guy's splattered rotten brains off of me, but I don't think all of the soap in the world can wash that sound from my ears. The weird smell fades away, and so does the sensation of lightening cracking over my flesh. Kirara uses a burst of fire to burn the corpse and I am left with more questions than answers.

"So much for a break. I guess we get to be zombie hunters next Ship." I sigh, scooping my young fox from the safety of his tree and returning to the water for a quick wash. Now I will have to interrupt Sango and Miroku's hanky-panky time to share the news and we will have to find Inuyasha. Great. Just fan-freaking-tastic. Maybe Miroku would have some answers to all of these questions swirling in my head. Here we go again down the crappy pot hole filled road of my luck

~AN~

Ok, so I know I have a bunch of others to work on but I have been stuck on zombies for a bit. Apologies for all of the delays, but in my defense there has been a lot going on, like having to go to physical therapy a lot now after getting hit by a car, right after I moved and lots of other stuff I am sure you all do not really care to hear about. Ok and I may have started playing wow again too... but I will make an effort to focus on writing more. I want to extend a special thank you to Lavixie for acting all beta-y and helping me with some of the depth. Please leave me some feedback, thoughts, etc. Much love guys!