Disclaimer: Doctor Who is the property of the BBC etc, this fanfiction is for entertainment purposes only no money is being made-please support the wonderful official program etc.

Rating/Warnings: T for suggestive violent situations, ever so slightly coarse language and claustrophobic trauma.

Pairings: Twisswald (Twelth Doctor/MissyTheMaster/ClaraOswald)

A/N: This is a slice of cheeky Twisswald crazyness in the form of a oneshot set in Season 9, anytime after The Witch's Familiar.

The tallest building in the history of the universe, the lift had stopped three quarters of the way up-and they were trapped. Clara had been reluctant to get in in the first place, it was a tight squeeze with barely an inch of space in between them-definately not designed to hold three people.

"No. No. No. "

"No, no, no, no..."

"This is NOT happening! This is bloody not happening."

"Awww bless, the control freak's freaking out."

"Missy. Hush." Warned the Doctor with his sternest eyebrows before whipping out his sonic shades to try and fix it.

"You don't like confined spaces, do you pet?" Missy continued, ignoring the Doctor and edging uncomfortably close to Clara with a sinister smile. Clara glared up at the time lady murderously.

"I hope that has nothing to do with me...I'd hate to think that I've given you a complex now..." Missy taunted sarcastically, stroking Claras hair in mock sympathy.

"The sonic isn't working." The Doctor stated, looking slightly worried.

"What?!"

Clara was very angry and starting to panic which he knew was a very bad combination.

"Missy, do you have your vortex manipulator?" The Doctor inquired.

"Oh but this is soooo much fun. Am I the only one enjoying this quality time together?"

"Missy, I swear to God I don't care where you're hiding it, I will rip the thing off you faster than you can say something nice-if you don't get us out of here RIGHT NOW."

"Promises, promises..."

The lift suddenly dropped a few inches and stuck again with a disconcerting screech. The Doctor threw his arms out against the sides...and then it really dropped and they sped down the tower furiously.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Missy squealed in ecstasy.

Clara had collapsed down to her feet and was gripping onto the Doctors waist for dear life.

"CLARA LET ME GO! PLEASE I NEED TO..."

Reluctantly she let go and found herself sprawling backwards into a mess of skirt, and legs and...

"CLARA YOU FILTHY LITTLE...Doctor...what are you...Doctor?...DOCTOR...HOW DARE YOU?!"

The Doctor retrieved the vortex manipulator, activated it and the three of them found themselves in an undignified heap on the floor of an ancient palace. Clara sat up slowly, readjusting to the concept of solid ground.

"So now I know why you call it cheap and nasty time travel." She stated as she turned to look over her shoulder at the two tangled timelords. They arose gently, Missy emerging dishevelled in peels of hysterics. The Doctor had a look on his face that reminded Clara very much of a kid-at the zoo who's just learned the facts of life for the first time after seeing the monkeys mating. It was a mixture of trauma and fascination, she wondered if he would ever be the same again.

"I..have..never..felt so violated...in all my lives." Missy spluttered breathlessly, fixing Clara and then the Doctor with an intense and outraged stare.

"LETS DO IT AGAIN." She suggested enthusiastically, before wrestling them both for control of the teleporter.