(We begin our scene with a flashback of Sailor Moon being stabbed in the stomach by Rector and an image of him pushing Rector off and bleeding.)
INTR: Tsuyoshi´s Bedroom.
Tsuyoshi
(Wakes up panting.)
Aghh!
Luna
Tsuyoshi what´s wrong?!
Tsuyoshi
What do you mean what´s wrong I just got stabbed in the stomach and it still-
Luna
What are you talking about that shouldn't even affect you at this point.
Tsuyoshi
It´s gone? The blood, the wound, i-it´s gone.
Luna
That´s what I was trying to tell you, Calm down and listen.
Tsuyoshi
(Sigh) Ok Luna how do you explain all of this.
Luna
Well, when you transform you are not yourself you are Sailor Moon. A magical barrier surrounds your human form and Tsuyoshi isn't affected. Here it´s all in these pamphlets.
(Luna slides two pamphlets on the bed.)
Tsuyoshi
Transformation for Dummies? Saving the World for Idiots?!
Luna
They come in very handy-
Tsuyoshi
They could´ve came in handy when I was getting wrecked by the Rector!
Luna
(Giggles) Wrecked.
Tsuyoshi
Luna, shut up.
Luna
Oh goodness lighten up! It's not like you were in any danger. In fact you did rather well.
Tsuyoshi
Really?
Luna
Yes, there will be more challenges and you will have to overcome them no matter how painful.
Tsuyoshi
Can't somebody else stEp in?
Luna
Once you find the moon princess everything will be fine.
Tsuyoshi
And how do I find her?
Luna
Her radiance rivals the moon. You'll just know it when you see her.
Tsuyoshi
Aww that's sweet but that tells me nothing. It could literally be any hot chick that walks my way.
Luna
She's our princess and I think you should take this a bit more seriously.
Tsuyoshi
For what? I don't even know her or what she looks like. What am I getting out of this?
Luna
Isn't saving the world enough for you.
Tsuyoshi
Not really, could I at least get some free food or Battle Monsters Topaz?
(Luna moves toward the bedroom window and opens it.)
Luna
Maybe I was wrong about you.
(Luna jumps out of the window.)
Tsuyoshi
All I wanted was some rice balls.
SCENE TWO
INTR: Villain´s Cave.
Ragna
So, what's the bright idea this time?
Naja
Well, since you're contributing nothing as usual I thought it would be nice to take some energy from those fools at the nightclub.
Ragna
What is this nightclub?
Naja
Apparently this is where humans run around and hop to music just wasting their energy on a dance.
Ragna
I still think we should should just take it from them directly.
Naja
How, when there's only two of us?
Ragna
That´s what the henchmen are for.
Naja
Look when you make the first move I´d more than happy to let you call the shots, but until then we have energy to grab. Isn't that right Slifer.
Slifer
You got it boss.
Naja
Now go! Get as many people into that club as possible!
Slifer
Right!
(Slifer disappears.)
Ragna
You're gonna have to listen to me one of these days.
Naja
Of course, when you have something to contribute.
SCENE THREE
EXTR: Lawndale High Terrace.
Jeremy
Hey have you heard about the new superhero in town?
Kyle
Yea itś Sailor Moon right? Bro that guy is dope, I´ve never seen anyone do a spin kick in the air.
Jeremy
He kind of looks like you Tsuyoshi.
Tsuyoshi
Me? What the hell?! Who would wear that sailor suit. Pick a damn color and stick with it.
Kyle
Yea Jeremy we all know Tsuyoshi wouldn't jump in if someone was in trouble.
Tsuyoshi
The fuck does that mean?!
Jeremy
You're a nice guy and all, but you wouldn't put yourself in harms way for others. It´s not a bad thing it´s just (Pause) we know what would happen.
Kyle
Yea.
Tsuyoshi
Apparently you all just think I'm some sort of asshole.
Jeremy
That's not what we meant.
Kyle
I knew we shouldn't have told him-
Tsuyoshi
Oh no I´m glad you did. I´m glad everyone thinks I'm an asshole who wouldn't help anyone with anything.
(Tsuyoshi stands up.)
Kyle
Here we go.
Tsuyoshi
No here I go. Screw this I'm getting some cake
(Tsuyoshi exits.)
SCENE FOUR
INTR: Vegan Cafe.
Alexander
Hey, Tsuyoshi what can I get you.
Tsuyoshi
I want a triple chocolate cake. With a glass of milk.
Alexander
What happened now?
Tsuyoshi
What do you mean?
Alexander
You only get this when you're depressed.
Tsuyoshi
Well apparently my friends think I ain´t shit when all I do is help. Yes I may want some recognition or some ice cream from time to time, but is that too much to ask for.
Alexander
You shouldn't help people to get recognized, but because you want to.
Tsuyoshi
I do want to, I just want to be appreciated for this shit-
Alexander
You´re not always gonna be appreciated.
Tsuyoshi
Well that sucks.
Alexander
Life sucks. I´m gonna get your cake,but I'm surprised at this Tsuyoshi I expected more from you.
Tsuyoshi
Oh my God, you sound just like Luna.
Alexander
Who´s Luna?
Tsuyoshi
Just some cat.
Alexander
Wait wha-
Tsuyoshi
Wait what?
SCENE FIVE
EXTR: Outside of the Honeycut nightclub.
Luna
I can't believe Sailor Moon is reincarnated into this selfish boy. What happened to the valiant hero from last night?
Owner
Everyone gets in for 2 dollars until midnight. And at midnight it´s one dollar. It´s lit ya´ll.
Crowd
Hey you're in the way. Move it. Get the fuck off of me.
Owner
We have enough room for all of you, no need to shove. We also have enough energy to satisfy Queen Beryl to rise the Dark Army. (Chuckles).
Luna
There's something fishy about this club and it's not just the sewer.
Owner
Come on in remember there's a five drink minimum.
SCENE SIX
INTR: Vegan Cafe
Tsuyoshi
(Finishing the cake.)
Oh, my God. That was everything!
Alexander
Well I'm glad you liked it. It never disappoints.
Tsuyoshi
(Shakes uncontrollably.)
What, the hell?!
Alexander
Are you alright?
Tsuyoshi
Yea I just need to use the bathroom.
(Slams cash on the table.)
See ya.
Alexander
Hopefully he didn't get diarrhea.
(Tsuyoshi runs into the bathroom and locks the door.)
Tsuyoshi
What the hell is this?!
(He reaches into his pocket to find the transformation pen shaking.)
Ok so what the hell does this mean?
(The pen glows projecting a small screen showing the nightclub being under attack by Slifer.)
I´m sure Luna's got it.
(Luna is shown being knocked around by Slifer and thrown in the disco ball.)
Who the fuck does this to animals. I'm sure she's fine though. Luna, wake up. Luna. Luna come on.
(The image of Luna passed out is on the screen.)
(Sigh) Dammit.
(Tsuyoshi holds the transformation pen in the air.)
Moon Power Morph!
(The transformation music begins to play and Tsuyoshi transforms into Sailor Moon. Sailor Moon jumps out of the window.)
She better be happy I´m running to save her ass.
SCENE SEVEN
INTR: Honeycutt Nightclub:
Slifer
(Absorbs energy in her palms.)
All of this energy. All of this beautiful energy!
Luna
Leave them alone you creaton.
Slifer
Didn't you die?
Luna
(Struggles to stand up.)
As long as monsters like you are around I won't back down.
Slifer
Aww that's cute. Now stay out of my way before I make meow mix out of you.
Luna
I´d like to see you try.
Sailor Moon
I would too.
Slifer
Show yourself.
Sailor Moon
(Appears on the stage in red light. He begins saying his speech and posing.)
I am the awesome guardian in a sailor suit. I stand for courage and justice. I am Sailor Moon. And in the name of the moon I'm gonna kick you ass!
Slifer
Sailor who?
Sailor Moon
You heard me!
(Sailor moon charges and smacks the energy orb out of Slifer´s hand.)
Slifer
(Slifer uses her tongue to whip Sailor Moon repeatedly.)
You have no idea what you've done.
(Sailor Moon grabs the tongue and pulls Slifer in performing a roundhouse to the face.)
Sailor Moon
I don't think you know what you've done! Anyone who attacks innocent people and animals clearly needs their asses kicked.
(Slifer uses her tongue to grip around Sailor Moon´s neck and throws him around the nightclub.)
Ok bitch bring it!
Slifer
(Giggles) Says the one about to die. Hmm. That's cute.
(Slifer grabs Sailor Moon´s left arm with her tongue and pulls him in closer. Sailor Moon lets himself get taken in only to touch the crescent moon on his forehead to gain use of the mallet.)
Sailor Moon
Moon Mighty Bash
(Sailor Moon tries to bash Slifer, but ends up missing and south paws her in the face. Slifer releases Sailor Moon and jumps away to gain advantage.)
Slifer
You little twit, how dare you?!
Sailor Moon
Says the one flinging me across the room like a rag doll!
Slifer
Oh I'm sorry. How about I drag you across the floor!
(Slifer flings her tongue at Sailor Moon, Sailor Moon dodges it, and Slifer slams it around the floor repeatedly.)
Hold still!
Sailor Moon
So I can get slimed on, listen to yourself!
Slifer
You little
(Slifer slaps Sailor Moon in the face with her tongue.)
Sailor Moon
Ow, ok Luna now would be a good time to tell me how to kill this bitch. Because clearly I keep getting thrashed around. Oh, right you're still unconscious. Crap what do I do? What can I-
(Sailor Moon gets an idea. He then runs around Slifer in several circles.)
Slifer
All you're doing is tiring yourself out and making it easier. Ugh!
(Slifer flings her tongue at Sailor Moon, but this time he grabs it and wraps the tongue around her constricting her in place.)
Sailor Moon
Moon Mighty Bash!
(Sailor Moon jumps in the air and bashes Slifer upside the head. Light to flashes from her body and her to turn into dust. Sailor Moon then grabs Luna.)
Come on let's go.
SCENE EIGHT
INTR: Villain´s Cave.
Ragna
I told you it wouldn't work.
Naja
Well it would be better if you contribute something more than carnation instant complaints!
Ragna
Sailor Moon proves troublesome. He needs to be dealt with immediately!
Naja
Be my guest brother. I'd love to see what you come up with.
Ragna
Naja, when do I ever let things slip by.
SCENE NINE
INTR: Tsuyoshi´s Bedroom.
Tsuyoshi
Luna, Luna wake up!
Luna
(Springs up.)
What?! What is it?
Tsuyoshi
Other than me not being able to look at lizards the same everything is fine.
Luna
Wait, you defeated the monster?
Tsuyoshi
Well it is my both (Chuckles). But I think I should give this back to you.
(Holds out the transformation pen.)
Iḿ sure you'll find a more selfless hero.
Luna
Sailor Moon cut it out. You won't be able to get out of your responsibilities that easy.
Tsuyoshi
I thought that's what you wanted.
Luna
I may have been wrong about the type of hero I thought you were, but when it comes down to it you manage to put all things aside for those in need. Besides anyone who is willing to pass the buck so quickly needs a little bit of discipline.
Tsuyoshi
Why can't you just say you want me to stay and you're sorry.
Luna
Because that would be too easy. (Chuckles).
Tsuyoshi
Ok I accept. Until you find someone else anyway. Now about those rice balls-
Luna
Just go to bed.
Tsuyoshi
Oh crap I forgot about Alexander!
SCENE TEN
INTR: Vegan Cafe.
Alexander
(Knocks on the bathroom door.)
Hey, Tsuyoshi. You´ve been in there for over an hour. Is everything alright.
(Phone rings. Alexander answers it.)
Alexander
Hello?
Tsuyoshi
Hey, Alex look Ima be honest with you I took a massive shark and got embarassed so I snuck out the window. The door should be unlocked.
Alexander
Uh Ok-
Tsuyoshi
(Laughs awkwardly) Bye.
(Phone hangs up.)
Luna
Well that was subtle.
Tsuyoshi
Shut up and go to bed.
BLACKOUT