Hola! So, what can I say? ahhhhhhh! Yaaaay csiny. That was definitely something. I really enjoyed the episode. broke my heart numerous times and made me seriously question mopping up tears at school. Literally, that whole story was so relevant for me... so yay. I will say however that I'd definitely had enough of the no talking by the 20 minute mark, so I was glad that right as I was beginning to make myself pay attention Mac so poignantly said, "Speak," hahaha. Clever Pam, real clever.

Can't say I didn't shed a tear or ten when little Amy went for Flack's hand. holy mother. omg. ouch. that one hurt in the chest. However, the main event of Lindsay... god I love the Messers. I love everything about them. I love this show and just ahhhh. Don't ever leave me. ever. i need them in my life forever and ever.

seriously.

Now in keeping to the episode, it seems like I've made a mental decision to write the post-ep slightly differently for some unknown reason. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but there was so much that I felt like I wanted to write about, I needed to find a way to get it all in... so I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks to those of you who read and reviewed last post-ep. I hope you guys liked it... special mentions to : Dantana15, Daniellegirli, jjwillbabystar, gigglesforcsi, MesserFamilyFan100, dantana-balscofanxoxo, ILoveTheCubs, ck, LoveShipper, 18lzytwner and saderia.

At least it's not Lindsay; he could remember his mantra with each whack to his body. At least it hadn't been Lindsay. His hands had been all over her the night before and he knew how little she was. How gorgeous and flawless she was. The bruises that had formed on his body had no place on his Montana. He refused to even imagine what she would have gone through if she was there that day. That's why he was glad it had been him taking the beatings on that fateful day all those years ago now. Lindsay's fingers were so small and dainty that the massive machine gun would have... it wasn't even worth thinking about. His fingers, although painful when it happened, had more scars than her's did. They were used to punches being thrown and being shoved back into their joint. And to be perfectly honest, after they made it through the storm of him being held hostage, Danny had fully appreciated Lindsay acting as his personal nurse.

Now however, he knew what Lindsay had been going through all of those times he'd been hurt. Like when he had been shot in the back most recently; she must have felt absolutely helpless... Just like he was right in this moment. Helpless.

All the blood that had gathered in her hairline wasn't a sight that would leave him anytime soon. He looked down to his red stained hands. His wife's blood was on his hands. He had scrubbed and scrubbed as tears had fallen down his cheeks, but nothing, to no avail, he just couldn't get the reminder that his wife, his wonderful, gorgeous and loving wife was fighting to wake up in her hospital bed. A hospital bed was no place for his wife unless she was bringing their child into the world. Any other time wasn't something he could stomach easily. Well, stomach at all actually. Mac had been there offering his support, but he needed this time to be by himself. He needed to regroup and work to get the image of his wife, who had been protecting their daughter, on the floor unconscious.

The looks Lucy had given him had shaken his very core. Seeing her mommy being struck by a heavy cart like so... Ugh, Danny could feel the tears prick his eyes as he paced back and forth. What did he do if she didn't wake up? What did he do if she'd suffered some trauma to her head? Her brain? He'd love her whatever the weather, but emotionally, to lose his wife... He could feel himself crumbling without her.

Things had been going so well for them recently. They were in the middle of applying for a mortgage to buy a little bit of something somewhere... They had even played with the idea of a three bedroomed place... for when the time came and they finally decided that it was the right time to start the expansion on their little family.

It panicked Danny to think that perhaps somebody had decided cut their time short on those plans. He was being dramatic, he knew that. She had a hairline fracture to the skull, but the doctors weren't worried… so why should he? He wasn't an expert and if the experts were confident about her being absolutely fine then why bother question it? But he had to prepare himself for the possibility. What would he do if it came from nowhere? That gush of emotions and devastation would destroy him and he needed to be there for both his girls.

He sighed heavily as his eyes focused on his sleeping daughter as she snuggled into Lindsay on her hospital bed. Lucy had been a shell of her usual self over the last six hours. She needed a home environment, away from IVs, doctors, nurses and the hospital. She needed to be away from the sight of Lindsay. As grown up as their daughter was, she didn't need to see it. He didn't want her to see it. He took a deep breath as he prepared himself for something that he really didn't want to do. He pressed a kiss to Lindsay's forehead, mindful of her bruise before carefully picking up his baby. She instantly settled in his arms and he fought with his better sense than to take Lucy to his mother's. Lucy needed him, not her Nana. Well, actually, she needed Lindsay… but she would just have to deal with second best for now.

As he entered the elevator, he took a deep breath as he stood in the place of someone who had just exited… although he hadn't seen his face, the guy looked as tired and warn out as Danny felt.

As the elevator doors closed, Danny sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. Everyone was dealing with something, he thought.

"Daddy!"

"Linds," Danny muttered into his pillow.

"Daddy, I need you!"

"Babe," Danny muttered again, moving his arm from where it had been tucked underneath the pillow. He stretched his arm across the bed and ran his fingers up and down the… mattress? He opened one eye at the alarm clock in confusion. It was three-fifty. Lindsay's badge was still on her bedside table… so she hadn't been called in for work. He turned and without the help of his contacts, he squinted to see if he could see some form of light coming from the apartment. Nothing.

"Daddy!"

Where the fuck was Linds? He thought as he rolled himself across the bed and hit the floor with his sock clad feet. He didn't understand where she was and why he was so tired. He hadn't even been working…. Oh. His heart sank in his chest as he envisioned where it was he could find his wife. He must have fallen asleep only an hour ago, he figured before opening up Lucy's door. The pink nightlight filled the room with a soft hue that allowed him to navigate his way to the bed without tripping over her thousand teddy bears and colouring books that littered her floor.

"What's wrong, princess?" he said softly as he sat himself down on the edge of her bed.

"I miss Mommy," Lucy said quietly before tucking her knees into her chest, burying her face and beginning to sob her little heart out.

"I know, baby." He said as he pulled her into his lap and laid a protecting hand on her hair. "I know you miss her. "Everything doesn't feel right without her, huh?"

"I hate that bad man," Lucy whispered, hiccupping from her tears. "He made a bad choice and Mommy got hurt."

"He did make a bad choice," Danny nodded. "You're right. He probably needs a time out," No matter Danny's true feelings for the man that had caused his wife and daughter so much pain, he needed to be better than that. He couldn't mouth off in front of his five year old.

"He needs to go to jail!" Lucy snapped uncharacteristically. "Forever!"

"I agree," He muttered softly as he pressed a kiss to her sunny brown hair. "I tell you what, because Mommy's where she is, and I'm scared without Mommy, do you think you could come and keep me company in our big bed?"

"But I don't sleep there," Lucy reminded him. "I have my own bed."

"I know, but you miss Mommy, and I miss Mommy, so maybe we could put a DVD on and we could fall asleep together."

"Like Mommy and I do on her days off."

"Exactly." Danny smiled. "Sound good?"

Drying her eyes, Lucy reached for the pink rabbit she turned to when she needed comfort and tucked him under her arm. Then, she reached up, gesturing for Danny to pick her up.

"You know, Lu, you're getting a little big for me and Mommy to be carrying you now…"

"I don't like walking," she said softly into the crook of his neck as her eyes fluttered shut. "I like being carried."

"Don't we all," Danny mused as he lowered his little girl onto Lindsay's side of the bed. Instantly, Lucy snuggled into the oversized pillow for her little head and inhaled the scent of her mother. Danny could see her features instantly soften by the comforting smell of Lindsay. He sighed as he watched his little girl drift off to sleep so easily once she had the one person that could calm her.

God he needed his wife back. He thought to himself as he climbed into bed and switched the TV on and turned the volume down low. Life with just him and Lucy wasn't a life he enjoyed… and he'd only been at it for twelve hours. He hadn't realised how much he relied on Lindsay's presence… until now.

He felt like a lifetime had passed since the night before. He'd woken up confused when the bed was once again empty. He had known he had gone to sleep originally alone, but he'd gained a little bedbug that liked to kick, snore and steal covers… and not in the form of his wife either. But when he woke up, his little bedbug was nowhere to be seen. He strained his ears to the silence of the apartment and could hear nothing. And hearing nothing with a small child wasn't ever good.

As it was, she'd gotten up to watch some television show in her bedroom and hour before. It was already nine thirty. He must have been tired. The emotions of the day before had really exhausted him and he must have needed the interrupted hours sleep. But the dread was back in his gut. He'd also felt guilty that he had left Lindsay alone in the hospital all night. But Lucy had taken his priority card and she had needed him last night, because during all of the kicking and cover stealing, she'd reached out for him numerous times in her sleep and wrapped her small hand around his bigger one. She must have been dreaming about something where she felt like she needed to hold his hand; he marvelled at how a small gesture could break his heart and then fix it all at the same time.

Fast forward a couple of hours, he'd managed to dress himself, Lucy, take her to his mother's in Staten Island and find a parking space close enough to Trinity to keep vigil for Lindsay.

Once she had woken up, he had felt elated, but was soon brought to reality again when she talked of him keeping vigil… but overnight. It worried him…. Unnerved him; even though she wasn't conscious last night, he didn't question the fact that she saw him… or someone. And whoever that someone was… well, it wasn't worth thinking about. He knew who it was. It wasn't just anyone. Lindsay had seen him, which had meant that he had seen Lindsay.

As always though, they had quickly managed to put the pieces together and for whatever reason, Lindsay had been saved from whatever the messed up school teacher had been intending to do… whatever it was, Danny couldn't bear to think about. All he had wanted was for someone to tell him it was okay to take Lindsay and Lucy home and lock the door, letting him keep them safe in the confines of their little home.

And Mac had, minutes after they finally made a positive identification on the person that had caused so much devastation. He hadn't said much but actions spoke louder than words, and he'd proved to them that the smallest of gestures could speak loudly to someone else, regardless of whether it said the right thing or not.

With all that whizzing around in his head, Danny was surprised that he'd been able to make dinner for them at all, let alone consume it. He couldn't help himself but he found that he was just staring at her. After what seemed like an eternity, she was sat opposite him, after putting their settled little girl to bed. He knew he was staring, and he could see it in her eyes that she was becoming amused by his gawping… but he just couldn't help it.

Looking up from her dinner, Lindsay giggled, "Dare I ask what's on your mind?"

"Probably not," he shrugged. "But this fucking sucks! Life likes to shit on me and my girls. What have we done Linds, huh? What have we done to deserve this?"

"Danny, sweetheart, we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm okay though. Other than a nice bump and a hairline fracture, I'm fine."

"No you're not though," he snapped. "I saw that blood Linds, I had it on my hands. That's not something I ever want to happen again."

"And it hopefully won't." she said, putting her fork down. "Except, no… I don't think that's why you're staring. What's really wrong?"

"Nothing…"

"Danny…" Lindsay narrowed her eyes in warning

"You can see right through me," he sighed heavily. "You really want to know? The truth?"

She nodded.

"I'm mad at myself because I know that you have been through this more tines than I can count... When I gave you that snow day... When I got shot. Other times too. It ain't nice, Linds. You must really love me because you always makes out like it's gonna be okay and you act like you believe I'll be fine the whole time and its bull because I feel like shit because I couldn't do anything to make it better."

"Danny," Lindsay said softly. "I cry silent tears and it's an unwritten rule that nobody says a thing. You know how I am; I just prefer to get on with everything as I deal with it."

"Well I can't do that." Danny snapped, "I felt like I needed to rip myself into four. One to stay at your bedside, two to be with Lucy and make her think everything would be okay, three to find the bastard that did this to you and then one to be the husband I want to be so I can go and beat the living shit out of the guy."

"You did the only thing I would have asked for… you put Lucy first. You did the right thing. She needed all of you, not just a part of you. I'm glad you made the decision that you did. I'm proud of you… you took care of everything so well. And if I'm not mistaken, you did find the person that did this… and you're here with me now. You know I'm going to be fine, don't you?"

"Yeah but," he sighed "The only times you've been in the hospital was when you got bit by that snake and then when we had Lucy. This isn't something I can deal with. I have no experience with you being hurt in the hospital. I...I... I needed you to be okay. You just... you hit the floor so hard I felt it in my gut. My heart. I know you were protecting Lucy but damn it. If you hadn't gone down on Luce, you would have both been okay!"

"Hmmm, can I tell you of a similar conversation I've shared with Mac?"

"What?"

"Cast your mind back to 2009, the year Angell died."

"Yeah..."

"We went to the bar to commemorate her life, remember?" Lindsay said with a hint of a smile on her face.

"Yep, and Jake Calaveras decided to shoot up the bar and got me in the back. I won't be forgetting that anytime soon."

"Right," Lindsay nodded with the same smile on her lips. "And what did we all do when the bullets started and the glass shattered?"

"We fell to the floor. Landed with a good old thump, covered our heads and hoped for the best."

"Some did." Lindsay nodded. "Where did you land?"

"On you."

"Because..."

"Because I'd been shot in the back."

"Nope," Lindsay shook her head. "Mac watched the CCTV back a million times. You shot across your seats and pulled me to the floor. If we had both gone for the floor straight away, we both would have been okay... The bullet that got you would have gone between the two of us."

"I didn't want to take that risk." Danny admitted quietly. "I hadn't done a very good job of protecting you by that point and I knew that this was my chance to bring it to the table. I wasn't about to let you get hurt."

"And I didn't have a scratch on me."

"So I did my job." Danny shrugged. "What's the point of that little trip down memory lane then?"

"Well, you made a decision that ended up getting you hurt, but you protected me. That's what I did. I made a decision to protect Lucy and I got hurt. I probably would have been fine if we had both gone down separately and my head hadn't been smashed by that cart... But you and I both know that I would have done nothing but grab that precious little girl and protect her with every ounce of my being... Just like you did all those years ago in the bar. I made the same decision as you and I'm sure I'd make it again, just like you would."

Danny shrugged, knowing without a shadow of a doubt that Lindsay was absolutely right.

"Doesn't mean I have to like it," he sulked.

"I know that," she smirked. "But we might just be more alike than you think. Selflessly saving another at whatever cost."

"Yeah well, you better knock that shit off," he smirked as he took her hand and pulled her onto his lap. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"Well how long does it take to get a balloon." She mused. "Had you been there we wouldn't have had this problem."

"And why wouldn't we?"

"Because it would have been your head that got plowed into and then it would have been me holding everything together and I'm more experienced." She giggled as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "So…"

"Alright Montana," he smirked as he carefully pressed a kiss to her band-aid that still hid her bruise. "That's enough outta you, smartass. How about we leave these for the morning and go to bed?"

"Sounds like a wonderful plan," she said softly, laying her head in the crook of his neck and letting her eyes flutter shut. Just like he had with Lucy numerous times in the past twenty four hours, he stood with his wife in his arms and carried her carefully to the bedroom. Laying her down and thanking the heavens she was already in her pyjamas, he watched as she snuggled into the pillow that now smelt like Lucy. Just like he'd watched his daughter, he was now watching his wife and the smile that crept across her lips at the scent of her baby girl. He leant down and pressed a kiss to her forehead before straightening up and tugging his shirt over his head.

He tossed the shirt in the general direction of the laundry basket and shrugged when he missed. He furrowed his brow at the giggle however. He turned quickly and saw one of Lindsay's beautiful brown eyes cracked open as she snuggled into her pillow.

"You enjoying the peep show?" he smirked.

"Maybe," she smiled. "I've just been waiting on you making good on that promise of you keeping a naked vigil."

"You're crazy," he smirked as he undid his belt, slower for Lindsay's benefit and tugged his jeans down his legs.

"Crazy in love maybe," She winked playfully before rolling over and settling down for a night's sleep in her own bed with her husband.

Crazy in love she might be, Danny thought to himself as he climbed into bed, but if she was crazy in love; what did that make him? That was a thought that would leave him pondering, he thought.

There we go, hope you enjoyed it. I must dash off to my driving lesson now... once again I've got a packed saturday. Thank goodness for my week off school now!

Thanks for reading guys, I'd love to know what you thought! :)