HOPE

1 – in which it all went wrong

" Hope is a waking dream "

- Aristotle

IT WAS AN ALL-ORDINARY DAY FOR Hope Brady one sunny evening. She blinked, avoiding the bright rays as she sighed, glancing around the town. She hardly had anything to do, seeing as how her father was usually busy with the Garrison Corps and her mother usually stayed at home resting because of her pregnancy. The day her mother announced she was pregnant, Hope remembered being absolutely ecstatic and also a bit indifferent: she was happy that she would have a sibling and would no longer have to spend her days bored and alone, but she was also worried—what if her parents loved her new sibling more? She immediately forgot about these feelings, however, when her mother asked if she could name the baby. Hope was overjoyed and agreed, not caring if she would have a brother or sister; they would be named Alice no matter what. (Perhaps it would be better if her mother would help her decide by giving her a list of names for her to choose—after all, what boy would want to be named Alice? Hope's response is every boy—they can go by Al if they hate it so much).

At the moment, Hope was still walking around the town, a frown tugging down on her lips as she kicked, bored, at the ground, scuffing her shoes against the pavement. She continued to do this as she walked down the street, smiling at fellow townsfolk—they all knew her well: it was basically her morning rounds to walk around and scuff her shoes against the pavement in boredom—it was an only child thing. Hope's bored demeanor brightened slightly. No—I'm not going to be an only child anymore. This time, she happily skipped against the ground, about to turn the corner from the alleyway but stopped suddenly at the sound of voices. She quickly pressed herself against the wall, willing herself to look around it warily as she eavesdropped.

"Are you okay, Armin?" one asked. Squinting, Hope spotted three figures in the distance. Judging by their height and facial appearances, she assumed they were her age: one of them was kneeling against the wall, his head hung low as his blond hair covered most of his face. The other one held his hand out, his dark brown hair messy and opaque-like eyes bright. The final one was a girl, her hair a dark black color and eyes pale grey—she watched the two with a slightly exasperated expression as she tugged on her red scarf, wrapping it tighter around her face.

"I can get up by myself…" The blond one—Armin—finally muttered, rising to his feet shakily as he ignored the other boy's outstretched hand. The other waited until finally Armin was on his feet. Before any of them could notice Hope, she quickly hid behind the wall once more.

"Let's get out of here," stated the dark-haired one. Immediately the sound of running footsteps followed as they left the area. Hope let out a sigh of relief that they hadn't caught her eavesdropping as she slowly walked out of the alleyway, standing near where the three had been previously standing. She frowned, spotting a mangled book face forward. Frowning, Hope crouched down as she picked up the book, examining it for a moment before her eyes widened in realization: it was a book on the outside world. Despite the fact that she was 10 and didn't know many things yet (her father had taught her how to read and write), she did know that possessing books on the outside world was illegal. She flipped through the pages (some of them were ripped—Hope assumed that the blond boy named Armin had gotten into a fight for having this book in his possession, which led to the pages' fate) and her eyes widened with wonder. There were so many different things out there…and even if they weren't real, Hope couldn't wait to venture outside of the Walls.

Glancing around, Hope clutched the book to her chest as she quickly ran away from the spot, heading straight home—she didn't want to run into any adults who would end up seeing the novel and take it away from her. She nearly tripped up the steps in excitement as she opened the door. Her mother was humming a tune in the kitchen as the kettle screeched loudly. She walked over to it, not noticing Hope had returned. Taking this opportunity, the brunette quickly ran to her room, hiding the book underneath her bed before skipping back into the kitchen, closing the door shut. Upon the sound of the noise, her mother turned around, a warm smile on her face as she outstretched her arms. Hope ran to her, making sure to hug her gently as to not harm up-coming Alice, as she wrapped her arms around her mom. She let go, a bright grin plastered across her face.

"What's wrong, Hope? You usually come in here sulking," her mother smiled again, turning around as she turned on the faucet. She ran her hands under the water before taking a plate, quickly scrubbing away any residue. "Have you made some new friends?"

Hope scowled, "Nobody wants to be my friend, Mama."

Her mother glanced over her shoulder, giving Hope a sympathetic smile. She wiped her hands against the rag nearby as she walked over to her only daughter, cupping her face with both hands as she gently pushed a loose strand of hair out of her little baby girl's face. "I'm sure they do—they just don't know it yet."

Hope rolled her eyes, pulling out of her mother's hands before huffing irritably, pulling out the chair to the table as she sat down, stomach rumbling. "When's dinner?"

Hope's mother had already turned back to the sink, continuing to wash some spare dishes. "When your father gets back."

Hope groaned, lying against the wooden table as she stared blankly ahead. "But I'm hungry now."

Her mother merely laughed in response, messing around with something else in the kitchen that Hope couldn't see (or cared about, to be honest). She continued to frown, tapping her fingers against the wooden table before jumping up in alarm at the sound of a large explosion. Before she had time to register what was going on, her mother had already bolted to the door, looking out of it before letting out a short gasp, slamming the door shut. She quickly made her way to the windows, shutting the blinds, causing Hope to jump to her feet, staring at her mother with wide eyes.

"Mama—"

"Shh," her mother hissed, running forward as she grabbed a hold of her daughter. She held her close; Hope nearly crushing against the swell of her stomach. She felt her mother's hands shaking but she attempted to make her expression remain calm as she looked back at her daughter. She brought her farther away from the windows as they cowered in the corner. "Just stay quiet, baby, okay?"

Hope remained silent for a few moments before curiosity got the best of her. "Mama…what's going on? I can handle it, I promise," she added defiantly, noticing the look that flashed in her mother's brown eyes. She looked down, smiling sadly at her daughter before crouching down, pushing her hair out of her face before rubbing the sides of her cheeks with her thumbs.

"Remember that job Dad has?" she asked. Hope's eyes narrowed in confusion before she nodded slowly.

"He's a Garrison Corp…but I don't—"

"Baby, I need you to listen carefully, okay?" Her mother rose to her feet, pulling her close into another bone-crushing hug. "Things are…things are going to be different now—but you need to stay strong for me, okay? Stay strong for your Mom."

Hope frowned, still confused on what was going on, but felt her blood run cold at the sound of large footsteps echoing down the road. She glanced at her mother, her eyes widening with fear before she pulled out of her grasp, rushing towards the stairs. Her mother called after her, voice hoarse, as Hope scrambled up the steps, quickly grabbing the book she had hidden. She held it tightly, her eyes widening in horror at the sight before her—through her window she spotted them: Titans. She couldn't count how many were passing by her house, but she knew there were a lot more than she could ever dream of. At the sound of screams of horror and pain, Hope stumbled backwards, quickly running back down the stairs into her mother's arms. She held onto Hope tightly, frowning when she noticed the book her daughter clutched tightly in her arms.

"Hope, what is that?"

Hope bit her lip, glancing back at her mother before letting out a sigh. "It's a book…I found it in some neighborhood…" She trailed off, uncertain if she should mention the three kids she had spotted but decided best of it. Many different emotions seemed to cross her mother's face—worry, a scolding manner of sorts, and finally exasperation—before she held Hope closer, running her hands through her daughter's brown hair. A silence seemed to follow before Hope turned to her mother, trying not to let the fear consume her.

"Mama, what are we going to do?"

Hope watched as her mother's mouth turned into that of a straight line. She hesitated, glancing towards the shut door before looking back at her daughter. "We're going to wait for your father," she stated. "As long as we stay quiet and in here, they won't know we're here."

Hope nodded slowly. She remembered her dad telling her about the Titans, but she never imagined they would actually make it past Wall Maria. What exactly was it that her mother had seen? She was tempted to ask, but seeing the tired and horrific expression on her mother's face, Hope decided best not to. Instead, she crossed her fingers, praying that her father would arrive unharmed—he, after all, worked in the Garrison: the military division that guarded the Walls. But if the Wall had been destroyed…Hope shook her head, trying to rid her head of the pessimistic thoughts. She needed to remain positive. Glancing her mother's way, she decided it was the only thing she could do in this situation.

After a few minutes, which seemed like forever, the door flew open. Hope and her mother started backwards, startled, but relief washed over both of them as the familiar, tall stature of Connell Brady raced into the house. He gasped with relief as well at the sight of his family as he quickly ran towards them, pulling both Hope and her mother into a tight embrace. The reunion lasted for only a few seconds before he pulled away, examining them both before crouching in front of Hope. He eyed the book she held in her hands warily before glancing back at Hope's mother.

"Ellia," he started, "Are you fit to run?"

"I'm going to be running for my goddamn life, Connell," Hope's mother answered. She glanced Hope's way, ruffling the top of her head before looking back at Hope's father grimly. "We should go now."

Hope's father nodded, looking back at Hope as he grabbed both their hands, pushing them outside of the house. They had barely ran a few feet away, only to be cut off at the sight of a Titan towering before them. Hope's eyes widened as she stared at it—it had to be around 8 meters tall, with dark shoulder length hair and big wide eyes that held no emotion whatsoever. Its teeth bared into a sick grin at the sight of Hope and her family standing vulnerable in its way.

"Shit," Hope heard her father mutter before he nodded towards Ellia. He looked back at Hope, quickly pulling off his ring before handing it to his daughter. He had no time to explain before he raced off towards the Titan, launching his hooks from his machine onto the building nearby. Hope recognized the device to be the 3DMG that he had previously told her about when explaining to Hope what his life was like being a Garrison Soldier. The hooks clung to the building as he soared through the air, drawing two swords from his machine. He swung at the Titan with ease at the back of its neck. Immediately the huge monster collapsed to the ground. Hope jumped back at the impact, holding on tightly to her mother as she looked up at her father. He had already returned to their side, pushing Hope and her mother along as they continued to run. Hope could feel herself growing short of breath—she always seemed to possess breathing problems—but she swallowed harshly, attempting to ignore the burning sensation resonating from her lungs as she willed herself to run forward. Hope hadn't noticed her parents had fallen behind until she skidded to a stop, turning around in horror at the sight—her father was nowhere to be seen, but her mother was trapped in the clutches of an even taller Titan. It grinned widely, its pale eyes dull and its blond hair shaggy as it lifted her mother closer. Hope screamed loudly at the sight as the Titan quickly snapped her mother in half, killing her instantly as it dropped her body into its mouth, swallowing her whole. Hope felt her legs shaking as she stared up at the scene, her eyes wide.

She hadn't noticed she had been picked up off her feet until she glanced in the direction of her father. She didn't bother to ask him where he was when her mother was in need, for the sight on his face did all the explaining. His green eyes—the same forest green Hope had obtained—were dull and lifeless. He noticed Hope staring and attempted to smile, but his expression remained dry. Hope bit her lip, clutching tightly onto the ring he had given her previously. She looked at it, quickly putting it on her finger as to not lose it. She knew it was the ring her mother had given him a long time ago—as of now, it was the only thing she had left of her memory.

Tears sprung to Hope's eyes as she began to silently cry as her father continued to race with her in his arms. He used his 3DMG machine again as the hook soared through the air, clinging onto the building as they flew through the air. On a normal day, Hope would have enjoyed this adventure. But today, she remained empty at the thought as more hot tears streamed down her cheeks. Before Hope knew it, they had made it near the evacuation boats. She blinked, staring numbly at her father as he set her on the ground. He shouldered past the crowd, leading Hope by the hand before they were standing near the edge.

"Dad—"

Hope was hushed as her father pulled her into a tight hug. She could feel shaking but it wasn't her. She hadn't seen her father appear to be so weak. She closed her eyes, the last of her tears running down her face before she pulled away. Her father reached with his hand, quickly wiping away the last of her tears with his thumb before he looked at the boat. He gave a short whistle, crouching down as he lifted his daughter once more, handing her off to another man standing on the side of the boat. He had dark hair and his expression was kind as he set Hope down on the crowded platform before jumping off the side, standing in place where the girl had previously been. As Hope stared at him longer, she noticed the Garrison jacket the man was wearing before she was distracted by cries of protest from the other people in the crowd.

"We've been waiting longer than that brat!"

"Yeah, why does she get to go on before us?"

"I have my children, too!"

"Shut up!" bellowed the dark-haired man. He glared pointedly at the crowd before glancing towards Hope's father. Connell had disappeared among the crowd, however. Hope squinted, then let fear course through her veins when she realized her father wouldn't be coming with her. She opened her mouth to call after him, but her voice came out dry and feeble. She snapped out of her trance when something fell against her feet. She frowned, and then looked down—it was the book she had been carrying; she nearly forgot she had it. Still numb with fear, Hope bent down, shaky as she picked up the book, holding it close. She glanced around—perhaps those three kids were here as well. She started forward, about to look for them, but the boat lurched suddenly, causing her to stumble as she fell to the ground. The passengers next to her glanced her way and she recognized the same dead, dull expression in their eyes that her father held as well. She assumed if she could look in the mirror, the empty expression ghosted her face as well.

Before the boat could fully vanish, however, there was a sudden crash. Everyone aboard looked up suddenly, along with Hope as they stared wide-eyed at the scene: a muscular Titan had torn through the gate of the entrance Wall. It paused in its place before opening its mouth, fire surging forth. Hope whimpered, clutching the book tightly to her chest and looked away.

Her mother was gone.

Her father was gone.

Baby Alice who hadn't been born yet was gone.

Everything was gone.

Hope felt newfound tears sting her eyes as she shut them quickly, letting the hot liquid race down her cheeks as she sniffled, still holding on tightly to the mangled book. She blinked a few times, lifting with a hand to wipe away her tears before she stared at the silver ring that glistened against her finger. It had a rose engraved on the top, and if she turned it around, her parents' initials would be carved on the other side. She bit her lip; feeling herself tremble before she held her hand tightly, more wet tears streaming down her face.

She was lonelier than ever.

x x x

It had been two years since Wall Maria had been breached. Hope still felt empty with grief from her parents' death, and she knew that that feeling would never go away. She had stayed at the landfill with the other survivors for the past two years, working on the farm. The first year there, she had come across the three kids from her old district again—this time they were talking about joining the Trainee Corps. Yet again, they didn't notice Hope eavesdropping as she quickly ran away. She had been hoping to run into them so she could return the book, but a new idea formed in her head—perhaps joining the Trainee Corps wasn't such a bad idea.

Wanting badly to escape the tiring farm work, Hope quickly became a cadet of the 104th Trainees Corps—similar to that of her father a long time ago. Standing in the rows along with the many other young kids, Hope held her salute—right hand to her heart and left hand curled around her back—as she stared blankly ahead: she knew her parents would be proud of where she was…but they would never know what she would be able to accomplish. At the thought, Hope felt tears sting her eyes but she blinked quickly, willing them away. If Keith Shadis, her instructor, were to catch her crying on her first day, she would definitely be thrown out for sure.

"You all have the misfortune of me, Keith Shadis, as your new instructor!" exclaimed the man as he jumped down from his platform, examining every student standing before him. "I do not welcome you warmly! In your current state, you'd be nothing but food for the Titans! You're mere livestock!" He spat in the direction of the first row. "In fact, you're less than livestock!" He cleared his throat, examining the rest of the rows before walking down the aisles. "Over the next three years, we're going to train you worthless nobodies and teach you how to fight Titans. Three years from now, when you come face to face with Titans, will you still be food for them? Will you serve as an honorable barrier that protects the King? Or will you be a glorious soldier for humanity that drives the Titans out?" Hope stiffened, immediately knowing what positions he was talking about—the Military Police and the Scout Regiment. She bit her lip, not wavering her stance as she stared on ahead, not bothering to glance at the others beside her. "It's up to you to decide!" Shadis continued to pace down the line of cadets, a menacing look on his face as he glared at each and every student.

Hope listened blankly as Shadis yelled at the cadets nearby. She bit her tongue, realizing that he was standing right in front of her.

"And what's your name?" Shadis questioned, voice loud. Hope took a quick breath.

"Hope Brady of Shiganshina District, sir!" she exclaimed, trying her best to make her voice sound as strong as possible. She stared on ahead as Shadis examined her, frowning.

"Brady, huh? You wouldn't happen to be related to Connell Brady, would you, Cadet?"

"He was my father, sir!" At the mention of Hope's father, she bit her lip once more, willing herself not to get emotional as she continued to stare on straight ahead. Shadis remained silent for a moment, as if considering something, before he cleared his throat.

"Let's hope you blow my mind and become an outstanding soldier like your father, Cadet Brady!" Hope nodded briskly, relieved that Shadis walked on. She could feel the other cadets staring at her but she remained silent, willing herself to continue to stare ahead. Her gaze faltered, however, as she glanced towards the left. Standing a few rows ahead of her, the familiar dark-haired boy she had been following the past year met her gaze. His eyes were a vivid teal color as he locked gazes with Hope. She bit her lip, turning away quickly as she continued to stare on straight ahead—she had already made her plan: she was going to graduate and join the Garrisons, like her father. She knew she wasn't skilled enough to make it to the top 10 to join the Military Police, and there was no way in hell would she join something as suicidal as the Scout Regiment.

As Shadis continued to interrogate fellow cadets, Hope took another quick inhale. She just hoped she could match up to her instructor's expectations.