*I don't own Jane and the Dragon or its characters
This is going to be sad, so I hope I'll be forgiven. This I guess was a way of venting, I hope it's readable.
Winter has never been kind to me, its temperature causing me to make my yearly journeys a poetic privilege and a bite to my memory; Dragon calls this a short-lifes privilege.
To get to where we were going, it takes a three days journey. Jane, who is sleeping in what would be a flowery field in spring is eternally waiting. I shivered at the indifference of the wind to my inferior structure.
Like back then, I had no control over our environment.
The village was vacant, but would be full once it was spring, so there was fear in Dragon crushing a hut or two.
With his assistance, we built a structure compatible with his size over the course of a week. We rested since it always took some time to muster the courage to regain strength to continue the journey.
At night, while I thought about what the next few days would bring, I remembered of back then, arch I could only speak the truth as my accusers faced me, but it felt like a dishonest fantasy, and hoping I would not have a nightmare.
On the day we set off, the snow rained upon our heads with a heavy harshness as though the sky knew my feelings.
At this point in our lives, we were not on the run, our enemies did not have eyes everywhere and nowhere. Still, I wished I had a place to call my own. It did exist anymore, the place to call home, but I knew what it used to be.
The place where Jane is, I wished it was not there.
In the past, back when I had the privilege, I was training to be Knight in the land of Kippernium. It started out with a humble class of ten, but dwindled when the castle could afford only the brightest. Then it was me and the daughter of the lady in waiting, a red head called Jane, who convinced the king by what I thought to be a staged kidnapping of his son and her to be given such an honor. We fought extensively, mostly because my pride overshadowed my courage. Over the course of years, we both progressed to knighthood, and took our given posts However, after my father had committed am unspeakable treachery, our entire clan had been sentenced to death.
Back then, I thought I could fix it with a bag of coin, but money did not speak to everyones fancy, and no one could undue the damage. Another thing, I reminded that I could not run away from my family name and lineage so easily.
In the self preservation, I took what little I could and ran away, but I should have known that loyalty was synonymous with Jane, and I stole away.
Back then, you could not change her mind, and I still remain divided to that fact.
Before the decree reached the next land over, we married in secret, binding ourselves to each other eternally. Somewhere in the world, Dragon was flying, searching for other Dragons, and we had to find our own way.
The decree reached many a land in so little time, and it seemed we could do nothing but run, search, hide, and disguise. Hallow trees were resting places, thickets our beds, tree tops our look outs. However, there was a price for our heads, a higher wage I could not repay.
Back then, I held on to selfish dreams hoping they would come true. I told her we could find place, start over and live comfortably.
Though that dream was a ways away, and we could not have afforded to remain still for too long, or our pursuers were given an advantage.
Back then, I should have seen it coming, but I tried my best. Jane had lost a bit of color in her cheeks, her eyes held less of the luster I had originally committed to memory. Fatigue was normal I thought, and she claimed it to be nothing.
Back then, I should have known that women, even the strongest, were not impervious to imperfection.
At some point, we found a faraway clearing, though the price was the beginning of winter. We were exhausted, and took rest.
Back then, I had no control over our environment.
Her coughs were multiplied by the day, the cool air worsened her breathing, and she had started to become the main focus of my life and liability.
Back then, I should have surrendered. It had occurred, that she could have gone back, and perhaps seek forgiveness, though she being my wife also sealed her to my punishment decree.
Our travel slowed, even with her fiery determination. And our pursuers took advantage of this fact.
Back then, that day should have ended differently, I had no control over anything.
The snow rained upon our heads with a heavy harshness as though the sky knew my feelings. We had been on the run, our enemies having eyes everywhere and nowhere. This had gone on for two long, nearly three months, fleeing place to place, looking for new beginnings, finding danger instead. Her feet dragged, her temperature taking over her mind, making her a childish mess. I was not fast enough, and for a moment I forgot she was human. When they shot me with an arrow, the shock too great for her system to process. The dragged me away as they carried her limp body in a separate direction.
Back then, I did not know that was goodbye.
My accusers tried me for murder, kidnap, and mistreatment. Their village doctor cleared my name and chargers, and my safe beginning began at a cost.
It has many years since then, I was alone, but Dragon found me. When we met again, he somehow knew it was not my fault even if I sometimes felt it was, and since then we make our annual journey to visit her resting place.
The last time I saw her was before the burial. However, in my thoughts and dreams it is like she comes and sees me. And even till now I am not allowed to forget how wonderfully human she was, her peculiarities, the wave of the hands, the tickle of a smile, her terrible dancing and amazing footwork.
The temperature this time of year or any year is beyond my control. However, if I close my eyes, it is still spring in the courtyard, and we spar until we are frustrated and breathless, because back then, even with my annoying immaturity she understood me before I even knew I could ever love her.