It'd been a while since he'd went out on a real date. After losing his husband, Castiel just.. didn't see a point to it. Gosh, has it been that long already? It felt like he'd passed just yesterday. He'd never been more terrified in his entire life than he had then.
Now was different, though. He was ready to start again-so, he'd found himself a date, determined to get back into the game even if he still didn't feel ready. He figured he'd have to get over it sometime, might as well do it sooner than later, save himself from more sorrow.
His name was Balthazar. Castiel had met him while out at the grocery store, he'd managed to knock over an entire shelf of canned beans and Balthazar had been near by, and decided to help him out. And well.. he was cute, and friendly, so Castiel had given him his number. Now he had a date to go on tonight, so he supposed the English man had liked him well enough.
He was nervous, to say the least. It felt like his mind was in overdrive, he was over thinking every little thing, and oh god his hair wasn't cooperating but hey, when he'd met Balthazar it hadn't been tidy. Maybe he liked it then? No, no, he didn't look at him enough to pay attention to his hair, surely. But what if he had? Castiel frowned at the mirror, his reflection only deepening it. God. How was he supposed to do this? It had been forever since he'd had to go on a date.
Deciding to just put a bit of gel in the front of his hair, Castiel did so, afterwards rushing to find something to wear. He knew he should have picked it out earlier; he only had fifteen minutes to make it to the goddamn restaurant! If he lived any farther away, he would have just called Balthazar right now and called the whole thing off. The frazzled man found a nice white button-up shirt to wear, along with some plain black pants. In his own opinion, this was one of his best outfits. It suited him well, fit nicely, all that good stuff that he really didn't have time to think about right now because he only had ten minutes left and-
Stop. Castiel stopped moving, stopped rushing, instead he just stood in silence, taking a few deep breaths before calmly walking out into the living room. After putting on his shoes and grabbing his cellphone and keys, he walked outside, only sparing a glance back at the little house as he went to get into his car. His husband had picked the house out, for the most part, it was in a nice area and the house was decent enough. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms, enough for the family they'd wanted to start. It just felt cold and empty anymore, thus the reason he hardly ever left his own room.
He started the car, a Prius unfortunately, and was then on his way to the restaurant. It was a very nice place, an Italian restaurant that had the best sodas. Which sure, wasn't the point of tonight, but he was definitely getting a vanilla Italian soda whether the date went well or not. He'd been there once or twice, and he'd always liked it then, so he supposed there wasn't a whole lot that could go wrong food-wise. Date-wise... ugh. He turned on some music, deciding he'd rather not think about what could go wrong at the moment, and drowned out his thoughts in the sound.
It wasn't even that he feared Balthazar wouldn't like him. Castiel knew that he was a very attractive man, and somehow people always seemed to like him, even though he never understood why. It was just that.. he didn't know how he'd feel about Balthazar. Or anyone really. He didn't feel ready for this but at the same time he didn't want to wait any longer. He supposed he'd just have to go through with it then.
When he pulled up in the parking lot, it was safe to say he was terrified. His blue eyes were wide, his heart was racing, god, even his palms were sweating-how was he supposed to feel as he watched his date be shoved, struggling into a police car and then be taken away?
Castiel let out a long, deep sigh, closing his eyes and slowly going to rest his head against the steering wheel. It wasn't meant to be, then. He'd just try again and hope the police had nothing to do with his next date.