Her eyes frosted over with tears that just desperately needed to fall, but she could not let her fellow comrades see her this way. Tenten, for about the fourth time in only three days was fighting the urge to run up, and cling tighter than ever to her good friends Sakura and Hinata. It felt as if they were parting for more than a summer, and she was scared she'd lose them.
It wasn't if they'd come back alive or not from their mission that frightened her. No, though that was something she had to pray for most definitely, but this was different. It was the fear of losing them to their ever growing maturity. They were getting more experience than she'd been given EVER, and what if they realized they didn't need her anymore. Every time she thought of being left behind, forgotten-like a child's toy that was no longer of any use-she burst into tears.
All of their memories of being together washed upon her, slowly drowning her, taking her deeper and deeper into her ever growing depression. In Tenten's mind she always came to one conclusion....PITY. That's the only reason they'd EVER want to be friend's with someone as broken as she. They probably saw her as nothing but a nuisance, someone who was and always would be; the weakest target emotionally.
Tenten had always considered herself lucky, having great friends to stand by her side whenever she needed it. Now though, she wondered if they just saw her as a child, and maybe it was just a task they HAD to do. This thought had occurred to her many times before, but never had Tenten been affected badly by it. Because, she personally looked at them and saw more than just friends sometimes, but someone she could actually look up to.
Finally, the tears pooled down Tenten's cheeks as she watched Sakura and Hinata leave the Konaha grounds. As desperately as she tried, she could not get the crying under control, and it became harder and harder with every negative thought she had. The last thought that she had before finally turning away from the gates was, "why does it seem everytime I find someone to love and trust they leave me?"
As she walked up the short path back to her house, she caught a glimpse of the academy. That had been where they had spent so much of their time together, talking about nothing in particular, but enjoying it none the less. Tenten had always tried to follow the whole live in the moment thing, but it seemed the harder and harder she tried the more her past creeped up on her:
She had been about seven years old, and her parents were fighting harder than normal. Pretty soon kunai and other horrifying weapons were shooting everywhere. Never before had they EVER attacked eachother physically before, it was always more of a mental game, but this she could tell was going to have a different outcome. By the end of the weapons being tossed everywhere in the house, her mother was crying.
Little did she know what was coming next. Her father, didn't say a word. He merely walked towards the entrance door of their house, and instead of hugging Tenten or anything to show he had a little bit of love towards her, he walked out into the night. A week later of begging and begging she found out what had happened, her parents were now filing for a divorce.
What happened next was almost too hard to bear. Her mother asked her where she wanted to live with herself, or with her father. Tenten's mother's eyes glistened with tears, ready to be shot down by her own daughter. Tenten had never expected to see a sight like this ,EVER. She had to be strong for her family, so, she didnt cry. The outcome was, she chose her mother above her father.
For awhile it was awkward, but it just came to be something you got used to. Years passed, and her father barely ever talked to her. It was seldom she ever heard a strained "I love you" from him. She never, no matter what she did, could seem to meet the horror of a man's expectations. SO, she finally gave up trying to talk to both her parents, even though her mother had done nothing.
It hurt her because ever since her father had left she was closer to her mother than anybody on the face of the earth, they always shared everything. For awhile, Tenten even told her mother to seek someone she loved with her heart (helping her with boyfriends, and lifedecisions also). Somewhere along the way though, they grew apart.
Tenten slowly isolated herself more and more just swinging and thinking, until the day she'd met Sakura and Hinata. They'd automatically clicked, it was like they were a pack, always together, never seen apart. It had felt good, but now....She didn't know what to think. "Look where all that trust got you now, you idiot" She thought.
Tenten had only realized it moments ago, but now she realized that she had in fact, walked over to the academy unthinkingly. She was swinging on the playground that was built a while back, and she wiped away her tears. Looking out into the village, she finally decided on one thing. "I will never shed another tear, because it shows weakness and pain." Little did she know that someone was watching her in the midst of her emotional breakdown....