4/13/2010
EDIT!!!!
AS I SAID, I'M RE-WRITING A FEW CHAPTERS I DIDN'T LIKE! THIS IS ONE OF THOSE, SO READ IT AGAIN: I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND IT BETTER THAN THE FIRST VERSION (it's longer too :P)!
About this new chapter 1: I am a yaoi fangirl - got no problem admitting it :P - but even so, there is ONE pairing I CANNOT DIGEST because I simply HATE IT and I think it's absurd to put the two in that kind of relationship... and Naruto agrees with me, I'll let you know! LOL Can't say anything else, but you'll find out soon enough :D
Ja ne,
Temari 88
Hello everybody!
Due to some problems regarding my inattentiveness toward the guidelines and the zeal of a user, I came to the conclusion that, as to not downright delete 'Ten things...', leaving it unfinished, I just needed to bring forward a little change in its structure, hence this! ^^
"This" meaning adding a drabble to each chapter so that the 'story' part that is required is met, but keeping also the sentences that previously composed my crack-ish fanfiction.
I'll try to choose, from the list in each chapter, a couple of 'things you'll never hear coming from...' and built around them something with an actual plot (sorta XP), hoping to maintain the humorous aura of the original fiction.
I'd like to thank Lerryn (for giving me this idea), Usa-san, The Dark Knight (I won't disable anon reviews for such a thing, don't worry ^^ I never intended to) and Koizumi Romi for the kind words, the offers of help and everything :D
And a BIG thank you also to everyone who reviewed 'Ten things...': I really hope you'll like this version as well, if not more! LOL
Disclamer: I own nothing...
What else can I say...? Oh, enjoy!!
Ja ne,
Temari 88
THINGS HAPPENING TO…
NARUTO
"Today's a beautiful day…" thought Naruto, walking through the streets of Konoha.
The sky was an intense blue, free of any cloud that might have disturbed the perfection and there was a nice breeze cooling down the almost summer-y temperature a few notches – it was quite hot for it being only late April – making the outdoors strolling perfectly enjoyable; as an added bonus, there hadn't been any problems for awhile now and that, in a shinobi village like Konoha, was always good news: the boredom of not having much to do was fully worthy the huff every now and then, because being busy often meant trouble… so, yes, for once having time on your hands was comforting even to someone such as Naruto, who was well known for his hyperactive attitude.
It was a sort of vacation. A well deserved vacation. After all he, Sakura and Kakashi had just returned from a mission to Suna, where they'd had to help the Village Hidden in the Sand to find and bring back their Kazekage who had been kidnapped by Akatsuki – Naruto was still very susceptible about that topic: he was angry at himself for not having prevented Gaara's death – and since Kakashi was bound to the hospital bed for the prolonged use of the Sharingan, Tsunade had left the other two a couple of days to relax.
The blond teen was thinking on dropping by Ichiraku Ramen – it was lunchtime and he still had not eaten anything. A few feet from the food stand, he noticed Sakura's back from behind the small red curtains and with a smile on his lips, Naruto reached his team mate and sat beside her; the pink-haired kuniochi was absorbed with what was in front of her, though, so she failed to see the other's arrival… said lad, pouting at being ignored, leaned forward a bit to peer over the girl's shoulder and see what had captured Sakura's attention so thoroughly: it was a weird-looking machinery like anything he'd ever seen – it was something similar to a book of sorts, opened horizontally, with a number of buttons each labeled with a letter on the lower part and a screen like the ones used during chunnin exams (only much smaller) on the upper part, where he could see images moving about.
"Weird… what's that stuff…?" thought Naruto, before speaking up and snapping the pinkette out of her reverie. "Sakura-chan… what's that?"
"Huh??" Sakura abruptly lifted her head with a glare at the ready for whoever had dared to interrupt her just as the best part was coming up, only to notice Naruto looking back with an eyebrow raised and a curious face. "Damn it…!!" she cursed inwardly, blushing a tiny bit and quickly closing the 'book' before answering. "Ah… Naruto. This is, uh, a computer… a laptop, to be precise…"
"Computer…??" echoed Naruto, clearly not understanding. "What's a 'computer'? Never heard about that…"
"Well it's… uhmm…" Sakura didn't know how to explain it – it was a rather new object for her too and she wasn't much more familiar with it than her blond team mate. "It's a sort of machine that – uuuh – stores information without needing scrolls or paper…?" somehow the explanation ended up becoming a question.
"……" a minute of silence from Naruto's part, then "Wow! Really?! That's awesome..!!"
The girl was pretty sure Naruto hadn't actually understood the concept, but thought it was better to let it slide; instead, going against any type of logic, she decided to lend the machinery to him so that he could get up to date with the developing technology – Naruto and technology…? Well, I did say it was against any logic, didn't I? "Listen, Naruto… if you want, I could let you have it for a while: I'll be busy at the hospital so I won't have time to use it…"
"Are you serious?!" at the kunoichi's nod, the blond started jumping up and down on his stool. "Thanks so much, Sakura-chan!"
"But," she interrupted him, her forefinger raised in a warning gesture. "be sure to read the instructions before using it: I don't want you breaking it."
Naruto just nodded vehemently, giving his word to be careful, with a huge smile on his face and already thinking of all the possibilities awaiting him. "Don't worry, Sakura-chan!"
-x-
True to his word, Naruto – surprisingly – had read through all the instructions to successfully use a 'computer', finding out also about the 'Internet': a way to surf the 'net' and see things from all over the world without stepping out of the door… the perspective thrilled him (even if he didn't know what all those term meant exactly) and he couldn't wait to try the strange thing out!
Finally ready, the blond teen turned the computer on and, as he had read, tried the 'hard disk' to see if there was anything interesting; there he saw a dozen or so yellow folders… in their midst, apart those labeled with strange medic-connected names, he found one named 'FICTION' and curious – not listening to that rational part of his mind telling him he should not put his nose into his team mate's personal files – he opened it… inside were a number of Word documents.
Opening one at random, the young shinobi found himself reading what looked like a story… a story starring… him and… and— "N-no! T-t-that's not p-p-p-possib-ble…!!" Naruto was so shocked he couldn't stop the stutter even in his head. The teenager quickly went back to re-read the passage, certain he had got that wrong, because he just couldn't believe that Sakura would do something like that to him… but even after the third time reading it, he still came to the same conclusions. "WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!?! M-m-m-m-me a-and Sa-Sasuke-teme?!?! Are you kidding meeee?! I don't even like him!!" Naruto continued to swear and curse in his mind, disbelieving, while scanning quickly the remainder of the 'story' only to screech to a halt at a point that, he was absolutely positive, will hunt him in his dreams until the end of time: a sex scene, between him and his former team mate…!!
Once the deeply rooted disgust faded a bit, a boiling anger rose in its place. "SAKURAAAA!!! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THIS!!!!!"
-x-
All the way on the other side of the village, at the hospital, Sakura felt a cold shiver run down her spine. "I hope Naruto will stay away from my folders…" she hoped, worried.
10 things you'll never hear coming from: Naruto
1) "Ramen? Nah, thanks but I prefer some HEALTHY vegetables!" [holding a bowl with salad]
2) "Becoming Hokage…?? Absolutely not! My greatest dream is to become an engineer!"
3) "Hinata is always talking! She never shuts up!" [frowning]
4) "Sasuke and I have never been enemies, are you kidding?!" [shocked]
5) "I passed the academy exam after 3 days of school!"
6) "Orange?! I would NEVER EVER in my life wear something orange: it's the most offensive color existing!"
7) "I always disliked Sakura…"
8) "I defeated Gaara without getting a scratch." [superiority complex]
9) "Jiraya has never spied on women at bath houses."
10) "Kakashi is the first to arrive at an appointment."