This is just a cathartic one shot after I read chapter 1 of fAteD lOvE's story It's Complicated.
I urge all readers to check out that story first(and the others by the same author).
By no means am I trying to slight or short the story(or the writer). This is just a personal reaction to the miserable situation the characters find themselves in. Get ready for super angst. This was a quick write up to get it out of my head, all errors (grammar & spelling) are my own. The plot it's based on belongs to the above author.
And before any more of you start complaining about plagiarism or stealing of intellectial property - hello this is fanfiction - we take the plots, characters and spoken conversations of the writers, actors and producers and change and add in missing scenes all the time. If we do it with the actual show's professional writers - we may do it with whats posted here - anything less is hypoctitical. I made no claim to the actual plot of It's Complicated -that belongs and continues to belong to fated.
If you can't handle a five minute conversation about how I wish Chuck would handle this situation(that has no impact on where fated takes the story) maybe you should not be reading or writting fanfiction.
Chuck rose the next morning at the same time as his wife. They had spent the night sleeping back to back as far away from each other as their bed would physically allow. Not that Chuck had slept. His night had been a combination of waking nightmare and angry three way debate between his brain, his hart and his soul. As he silently watched his wife pack for her trip then enter the washroom to shower, he shook his head. She hadn't even glanced at him in the fifteen minutes she'd taken to prepare her bags, let alone spoken to him. That as much as anything made his decision for him.
He felt weak, almost sick, as he made his way to the living room. He sat down on the couch and tried to gather his strength. He would need it for what was ahead. He tried to gather his thoughts for what he wanted, no... needed to say to Sarah. But he had nothing.
Sarah came out of the bedroom wheeling her luggage. She dropped it by the door, then returned to the dining table. Here her briefcase and purse sat together, waiting for her final checks before she walked out the door. He wouldn't need to drive her to the airport, the company always sent a car for her.
"Sarah," he said. It came out as a chocked whisper.
No reaction. Not that he really expected one any more.
"Sarah," he tried again. Putting as much of his remaining strength as he could in the call.
This time she stopped and looked at him, her irritation clearly evident. "What Chuck?"
He couldn't say it. Long seconds passed. Five, Ten, Fifteen. She lost patience and turned back to the table.
"We need to separate."
She stopped what she was doing. "What?"
"I said we need to separate."
She remained facing away from him. She can't even be bothered to turn around when I tell her our marriage is over. He thought sadly. How did it get to this?
"Why?" She Said.
"Because as much as I love you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you, this is clearly not where you want to be. I can't share my life with someone who doesn't love me as much as I love her."
"Chuck..."
"No Sarah enough, I've had enough." He knew what he had to say could fill a book, but he would try to explain in the little time they had left.
"When your gone I miss you terribly. When I try to call, even when you should be in your bed sleeping I get nothing. No answer, no returned calls, no messages. I worry and when you come home and I ask about your trip all I get is 'It's complicated'. When your here all I get is the wall. And every time I try to reach for you, you build it higher and thicker."
He looked up at her as she finally turned around.
"I don't know if we are here because your having an affair, or affairs, and I don't want to know."
He raised his hand to forestall any reply.
"But if your not, it almost makes your emotional withdrawal worse. I've tortured myself wondering if it's something I've done. Did I hurt you so badly I pushed you away? I know my job can be tough. The time I have to spend away can't have been easy on you, but I've always tried to make up for it when I return."
Chuck looked back down at his hands. The guilt of his choices weighing heavily on him.
"But when's the last time we talked, or laughed, or even looked at each other? When did we last share a real kiss? Or make love? I'm not talking about that mechanical fucking we've been doing, I'm talking about deep passionate sharing." He looked back up at the woman across the room. "Can you tell me?" She remained silent.
Chuck shook his head sadly. "I didn't think so."
"You know, I used to feel so amazed that a woman like you would have anything to do with me. I don't know how I got a second date, let alone getting you to marry an ordinary guy like me. Maybe that's it huh? Did you suddenly see what our life would be together, when you could have so much more? Princes, and millionaires would fall all over themselves to give you anything you asked for, just to see you smile. Hell, you've probably even run into some James Bond super-spies trying to work their charm on you. I can't even be angry about it because I know you deserve it. You deserve all of it. You deserve the world... and I can't give it to you."
He looked up to see Sarah staring at him with an emotionless mask on her face. He quickly looked back down at the clenched fists in his lap.
"I know I'm doing this badly - wrong place, wrong time. But I had to do this now, if I have any chance of healing my heart before it's gone completely. I love you Sarah, you may not believe me, but I do. I love you more then anything in this world. I'm setting you free to fly Sarah."
Chuck snorted, the derision clear in his voice. "You can't soar with eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys."
Sarah began. "Chuck you don't understand, It's comp..."
"Ya, Ya, It's complicated. You know how sick I am of hearing that? I'm a smart guy Sarah, but you never once tried to explain it to me. And now it's too late!" Chuck returned angrily. " You didn't love, trust or respect me enough to even try. You even sent Carina to check up on me again and again, like I couldn't be trusted on my own. You know how many times your 'trusted friend has tried to get me into her bed? I don't even bother to keep count any more."
"Chuck..." Sarah started.
Suddenly the buzzer for the front door sounded, startling them both.
Chuck and Sarah stared at each other for almost a minute before the buzzer sounded again.
"You better go Sarah, don't want to keep the company masters waiting on the corporate jet because of your 'marital difficulties'. I'll have my stuff out of the apartment by the time you return. I'll put in storage. I think their sending me over again real soon. It's not like I'll need any of this crap where I'm going."
The buzzer sounded for a third time as Sarah gathered her travelling gear and opened the door.
She stopped at the sound of Chucks voice.
"I hope you find your happiness again Sarah, I'm just sorry It isn't with me."
Sarah didn't bother to turn around, she just let the door close softly behind her.
Oh GOD! Does anybody really like this 'beeping' angsty crap.
And just so you know fAteD HAS very graciously allowed me to play in this world.
I may continue with it, if and when she finishes with it herself.
