The Snake Mystery Chronicles
The Case of the Enema Alley
Snake- Let me tell you about the time I went through time. It all started on Muesday, a day I made up between Monday and Tuesday. I was walking home from a Michael Bolton concert when I find this strange alleyway that's glowing. I walk inside, because I've always wanted to know what the inside of a glowing alley looked like. Before I knew it, a guy that looked like Chuck Norris pushed me into a giant vortex in the wall. After a few minutes, I woke up in a dumpster wearing nothing but a pimp outfit. I got up and everyone that was walking by were wearing 70's clothes and listening to strange 70's music...
Otacon- Snake, shut up, this story isn't true.
Snake- Sure it is.
Otacon- No. It isn't.
Snake- Ok, then explain what really happened?
Otacon- Well, I was stalking you because I knew you were going to go to the cops about my illegal pineapple smuggling ring. I was about to stab you in the back, when all of a sudden you run into an alley. It was only glowing because the huge neon sign for the Enema Clinic was lighting it up. Chuck Norris, who for some reason was walking out of the Enema Clinic, pushed you into a wall and you were knocked out. He then picked you up, put you in a pimp costume, and threw you in a dumpster. All the people you saw walking by were just heading down to the 70's reunion convention. See, it all makes perfect sense.
Snake- Yeah, I guess that's what happened. That damn Enema Clinic's always causing me problems, I really have to stay away from it.
Colonel- Wait, Snake. You and Otacon are both wrong.
Snake- What?
Colonel- I know what truly happened that night. You see, I was busy walking around town that night dressed up as a girl, I won't tell you why I was dressed up like that, but I'll just say it has something to do with 8 tubs of beer and a truth and dare game gone horribly wrong. Anyway, I was heading to the Enema Clinic for an enema. As I was about to enter, I see Snake, obviously drunk, stumble into the alleyway. I saw Otacon put on a fake Chuck Norris mask, and walk out of the Enema Clinic. Otacon then grabbed Snake and began to bash Snake's head against the wall in an effort to kill him, and save his illegal pineapple smuggling ring. Luckily, I managed to stop Otacon by throwing my purse at him. Otacon screamed in horror at seeing me in my dress, so he ran away crying. I grabbed Snake, put him in a pimp outfit so Otacon wouldn't recognize him, and then threw him in the best hiding location I could find: a dumpster. Then, I had to hurry so I could go and catch the 70's reunion convention.
Otacon- Well, that's obviously not true. I didn't put on a Chuck Norris mask, I was following Snake.
Snake- If you didn't...who did?
Can you solve the mystery of who attacked Snake in the alleyway? Stay tuned next time for the thrilling conclusion!
The Case of the Enema Alley
Snake- Let me tell you about the time I went through time. It all started on Muesday, a day I made up between Monday and Tuesday. I was walking home from a Michael Bolton concert when I find this strange alleyway that's glowing. I walk inside, because I've always wanted to know what the inside of a glowing alley looked like. Before I knew it, a guy that looked like Chuck Norris pushed me into a giant vortex in the wall. After a few minutes, I woke up in a dumpster wearing nothing but a pimp outfit. I got up and everyone that was walking by were wearing 70's clothes and listening to strange 70's music...
Otacon- Snake, shut up, this story isn't true.
Snake- Sure it is.
Otacon- No. It isn't.
Snake- Ok, then explain what really happened?
Otacon- Well, I was stalking you because I knew you were going to go to the cops about my illegal pineapple smuggling ring. I was about to stab you in the back, when all of a sudden you run into an alley. It was only glowing because the huge neon sign for the Enema Clinic was lighting it up. Chuck Norris, who for some reason was walking out of the Enema Clinic, pushed you into a wall and you were knocked out. He then picked you up, put you in a pimp costume, and threw you in a dumpster. All the people you saw walking by were just heading down to the 70's reunion convention. See, it all makes perfect sense.
Snake- Yeah, I guess that's what happened. That damn Enema Clinic's always causing me problems, I really have to stay away from it.
Colonel- Wait, Snake. You and Otacon are both wrong.
Snake- What?
Colonel- I know what truly happened that night. You see, I was busy walking around town that night dressed up as a girl, I won't tell you why I was dressed up like that, but I'll just say it has something to do with 8 tubs of beer and a truth and dare game gone horribly wrong. Anyway, I was heading to the Enema Clinic for an enema. As I was about to enter, I see Snake, obviously drunk, stumble into the alleyway. I saw Otacon put on a fake Chuck Norris mask, and walk out of the Enema Clinic. Otacon then grabbed Snake and began to bash Snake's head against the wall in an effort to kill him, and save his illegal pineapple smuggling ring. Luckily, I managed to stop Otacon by throwing my purse at him. Otacon screamed in horror at seeing me in my dress, so he ran away crying. I grabbed Snake, put him in a pimp outfit so Otacon wouldn't recognize him, and then threw him in the best hiding location I could find: a dumpster. Then, I had to hurry so I could go and catch the 70's reunion convention.
Otacon- Well, that's obviously not true. I didn't put on a Chuck Norris mask, I was following Snake.
Snake- If you didn't...who did?
Can you solve the mystery of who attacked Snake in the alleyway? Stay tuned next time for the thrilling conclusion!