Disclaimer:

Only saying this once.

I do not own pretty little liars, I have no rights to the books, or show, If i did...

Description:

This story is using the pretty little liars cast, it may have some similarities.

Ali is still alive there is no A team, and Maya never existed.

Chapter 1.

Aria's POV:

I woke up covered in sweat, for what seemed like the millionth night in a row. I had another nightmare, you might be wondering why. You see, my friend Alison, discovered my huge crush on our friend Spencer. Now Ali, keeps threatening to tell her. I am so stressed, it's more then a crush on Spencer, I am in love with her. I don't know what to do, I have been self harming. I don't just cut, I also burn. I looked over at the clock, it was only 2am I need to calm down. My heart is still racing from my nightmare, I need to burn. I got up and walked over to my loose floor board, lifted it up, grabbed the tools out. I took a deep breathe, and started heating up my "tool" after a few minutes it was hot enough. I rolled up my pant leg, and pressed the hot metal to my ankle, I repeated this whole process I don't know how many times, before I heard my phone going off. I picked up the phone, who would be texting at 2am? When I looked at the screen I realized it was now 2:30am, the text was from Spencer.

"Ar, I got a feeling that you needed me. Are you okay? - Spence"

"Not really. -Aria xo"

"Want me to come over? -Spence"

"I don't want to be a pain. -Aria"

"Okay, I will see you in 10. -Spencer"

"Thanks Spencer. -Aria"

I finished texting Spencer, I realized she was going to be really close, and I hadn't slept great in weeks. What if I told her how I felt by accident? Or did something else to tip her off? I started to feel the need again. My ankle was already pretty much covered in 3rd degree burns, so I had to cut. I pulled the razor out of my floor, and cut my arm. Pretty deep actually, not bad enough to need stitches but pretty bad.

I heard someone coming so I quickly jumped into bed, thinking it was my parents. I had totally forgotten that Spence was on her way over, until she walked through my door.

"Hi Ar."

Spencer's POV:

I walked into Aria's room. I hadn't just felt something was wrong with her, Alison told me that Aria has been having nightmares. I didn't want her to know Ali told me just yet.

"Spence" Aria sounded so small and upset. It broke my heart to hear the love of my life like that. She may not have known that I was truly madly deeply in love with her, but it didn't change how I felt.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Oh crap, I didn't mean to call her baby. I hope she didn't notice, crap she is blushing.

"Will you just hold me Spencie?" Aria asked as her voice cracked.

"Of course." I started walking the last few steps to her bed, when I noticed a razor on the ground. I picked it up, it was covered in warm liquid. It was dark, in her room, if it wasn't for the moon light I wouldn't have seen the razor. I wasn't positive but I was pretty sure it was covered in blood. "Ar, why is there a bloody razor on your floor?" I asked her softly, as if she was a small frightened child.

"Magic?" She answered, hopefully.

"Aria, that isn't the real answer. Try again hun."

"No, you will hate me." She said, while pulling the covers over her head and hiding. I took a deep breath. She started sobbing. I need to know what she had done, but I think she needs me to hold her more. I climbed into her bed with her and wrapped my arms around her, in a spooning position. She quickly turned around and buried her head in my chest, cry uncontrollably. I whispered that it would be okay, over and over in here ear, while holding her tight around the waist and rubbing her back. After an hour ish she calmed down. "Sweetie, I need you to answer. Did you hurt yourself with that razor?" Aria slowly nodded her head. "Okay." I said calmly, "Did you hurt yourself with anything else." Once again she nodded. "I need to look Aria to make sure you are okay." This time she shook her head no. "Sorry baby, I need to see." I let go over her and stood up turning on the light. I quickly pulled the covers to the end of the bed so she couldn't hide again. I could easily see the blood on the bed, myself, and of course on my princess. "Show me" I said.

Aria's POV:

I was so scared, she was gonna hate me as soon as she saw. I was gonna lose Spencer, before she was ever really mine. The tears started pouring down my face.

"Does it hurt baby?" Spencer asked softly.

I couldn't answer, if I opened my mouth to speak all that would come out would be more sobs. I just shook my head no.

"Do you think I am mad?" Spencer inquired looking flustered.

I simply nodded at her.

"Sweetie, I am not mad. For you to hurt yourself it was either an accident or you must have been hurting really bad on the inside. I just want to make sure you are okay. Please show me."

I stretched out my wrist to her, Spencer examined it. I continued to cry silently.

"Okay this doesn't need stitches, but it does need to be cleaned and wrapped. Show me where else you hurt yourself."

It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I slowly rolled up my pant leg again, then pointed to my ankle.

Spencer didn't say anything she just looked, then she nodded, before turning and walking away. I gasped thinking she was leaving.

"Shh, it's okay. I am not leaving I am just getting the first aid kit out of my purse."

Spencer grabbed the first aid kit out of her purse, and cleaned the cuts on my arm and bandaged them not speaking while she worked. After she looked at my ankle, she kissed the burns and muttered something I didn't hear, before bandaging the burns, and applying ointment. She then had me stand up and she changed the bloody sheets, and blankets.

"I am going to go put these dirty ones in the wash, so they don't stain. You can tell your parents you spilt tea." She explained, before taking the sheets and leaving the room. After she left the room I curled into a ball and sobbed silently. There was no going back from this, I was caught, and going to lose my best friend. Soon Spencer was back in the room, she turned off the light before sitting beside me.

"Aria, sit up please we need to talk." Her voice sounded all sweet and loving, maybe she didn't totally hate me yet. I sat up like she requested, she instantly pulled me onto her lap, holding me tight. "I love you Ar! You can't hurt yourself like this."

"I am sorry Spence." I was telling the truth I regretted my self harming so much at that moment.

"Why do you do it baby?"

"I can't tell you. If you don't want to run from me now, you will if you know." I stated quietly.

"I am not running now, or any time. You are my friend and always will be."

I sighed.

"Please Aria, just tell me."

"I will try... you see... I am,..I lovesomeoneandtheywillneverlovemebackandalisonknow sandshewontstopholdingitovermeandidontknowwhattodo andthenightmares."

"Woah! I didn't catch like any of that. You talk to so fast maybe you should be captain of the debate time not me. Try again, slower." She said with a hint of humor

"I am in love with you, Ali knows and has been holding it over me. It has caused me to have nightmares and I couldn't deal with it all, this helps."

It was silent, you could have heard a pin drop any where in the house with how quiet it got. Although Spencer didn't push me off her lap so maybe there was a chance she wouldn't hate me."

"Aria, I..." Spencer started.

To be continued. . . .