My heart was pounding in my chest so hard that I thought it might explode. "Cor-c-c-cory please…please don't do th-this." I could barely see through the tears that were falling like a waterfall down my pale face.

"There's no point in living anymore, Mare, if you don't love me." His voice was deep and clear, like his decision on this situation.

I shook my head violently and kept stealing glances at the train heading right for us. "Cory I do love you! Please just, just come over here and let me explain to you!" I took another step towards him which made him take a step back. "Cory this isn't your fault please, it-it's mine it's all my fault please just come here!"

He all of the sudden tears started to spring into his crystal blue eyes as well, "I loved you! I loved you and this is how you show your "love", breaking up with me?! What was I not good enough for you, oh no…no no I'm not good enough for anyone…" I watched him turn his head to the train, it was getting unbearably close and I frantically tried to think of something to say before it was too late.

Then everything slowed down and I was sure my heart might have stopped. It seemed like it happened so slowly, the train only a few meters away, before I could say anything, he jumped. The only boy I had truly loved jumped to his death because of me. I wasn't sure if the sound I heard was his body breaking, or my heart breaking. I stood next to the tracks for at least 20 minutes, watching the train go by. My whole body was in complete shock and I couldn't bring myself to move from the tense position I was in. I turned slightly to my left and closed my eyes, afraid to face what I might see, but when I opened my eyes, it was 70 times worse than I thought it would be. I saw the remains of his body scattered on the tracks, body splattered on the dark wood and steel. My mouth dropped slightly and careless tears were starting to stain my shirt and face. I didn't even realize I was bawling my eyes out until my cell phone started vibrating in my pocket. I started madly hyperventilating as I pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. It was my best friend, Vivian. I shakily opened the phone and put it to my ear, my breaths were still sporadically coming out of me.

"Marlee? Marlee, where are you?" She paused when she heard my frenzied breathing and her tone became more panicked. "Marlee?! What happened? Where are you?!"

"T-t-t-train." That was all I could manage to stutter out. She knew where I was, and she knew something horrible had just happened.

"Okay just stay where you are okay? Don't go anywhere; I'm coming to get you." I shoved my phone back into my pocket and plopped down on the ground.

That was all I could remember before I blacked out.

It had been exactly 3 weeks and 4 days since that day. My mother and I were supposed to be moving to LA, but my mom was still looking for an apartment she could afford. So here I was in my 1992, dark green, Volvo, on my way to Forks, Washington to stay with my old best friend, Bella Swan. Or since she had recently gotten married about 2 years ago, her new name was Bella Cullen. Didn't have much of a ring to it if you ask me, but I'm probably just bitter since I hadn't received an invitation to the wedding. Not that I'm angry or anything, but what ever happened to 'make new friends, but keep the old'? I mean, what kind of world do we live in where that saying means nothing?!

I stopped the car at the stop light and took a large hit from my tiny travel-sized pipe. I had smoked three bowls to myself this whole trip and I immediately cashed the bowl when I drove past the "Welcome to Forks" sign. Bella wouldn't be happy with me if she knew I was smoking. I lit a cigarette quickly and savored it, holding the smoke in my lungs until my head felt heavy, then I slowly exhaled. She knew I smoked cigarettes, but since I was 21 she couldn't give me any crap about it. I read the clear directions that I printed off the internet and followed the long road through town. It looked like it was about to pour, as I assumed it usually did. It reflected my mood well though, gloomy, about to break, if I hadn't been smoking the calming cigarette, I probably would of broke down right there in the car.

Honestly, my mother would do this to me. Send me to a dark, rainy place virtually right after my boyfriend killed himself. I wasn't happy with this place already, the darkness and constant rain clouds put me down even more. I couldn't wait for her to find an apartment, I didn't even care what it looked like, I just wanted to get the hell out of here.

I sighed and took a deep drag as I drove past a couple sitting on the porch of a small white house. They were holding hands and you could tell by the look on their faces and the way she had her head on his shoulder that they were completely crazy for each other. I had been completely crazy for Cory. Even though he suffered from severe depression and major OCD, I loved him more than anything in the world. He deserved a much better life than the one he had…the one he ended…because of me… I felt the tears start to fill my eyes and I threw the finished cigarette out the window, then immediately lit another one. When I was more composed I took out my phone and dialed Bella's number. She answered after the third ring and I could tell she was much more excited about me staying with her than I was.

"Hey Mare!" I flinched at the nickname, remembering her and Cory both called me that, "Are you almost here?"

"Yeah. I'm about five minutes away. Put some clothes on and be ready for me!" I chuckled and took a drag.

I could practically hear her blushing through the phone, "Oh shut up Marlee. See you soon."

I closed my phone and threw it back in my purse. This whole trip had the potential to be very bad.