A/N: Hey! I've written something finally! Omg, it's been so long! Well, I'm hoping that this is good. It's something totally different from what I usually do. It is hardly fluffy…more angst stuff going on. And that's well that hardly ever happens in my other stories. It will have a good ending, the ending it need to have, but don't expect a lot of things to be 'perfect' in their lives…I'm striving to make it real…Anyway, I hope you like it! R2R!

Disclaimer: *sigh* I don't own them all right! If I did, I'd never let Ron (or Rupert for that matter) out of my sight and you would never be able to share him because he'd be all mine! *glinting eyes* lol, anyway, they belong to J. K. Rowling…the lucky duck.

Rating: Pg-some bad words, sorry kids

Pairing: R/Hr

Setting: Lots of places…but in this one, it's Hogsmeade, mostly. Oh, and it's all in Ron's POV…

Characters: Hermione, Millicent, Harry, and Ron…those are the main ones.

Summary: Ron reflects on something that happened that ruined his relationship with Hermione…not as bad as it sounds, really.

Bitter Tears

Chapter 1

If I could take anything back, anything at all, I would have stopped myself from being such a bloody prat and ruining the best thing I ever had in my whole worthless life. I guess you're wondering what I did. Well, it was the last day of our 7th year. I was dating the most beautiful, amazing, talented person I'd ever met. For those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, I'll give you a hint. She has the most gorgeous brown eyes that I've ever seen in your life. Her hair is always soft and thick and shiny. Her hands fit perfectly in mine, and her lips, well, let's just say I liked them a lot, to keep it short. If you still don't know, her name is Hermione Granger…My 'Mione.

Back to my story though. It was our last day together…our last day as a class, a group, a whole. We might never see some of those people again after that moment. It was very sad. I was even going to miss that scumbag Malfoy (very deep down inside.)

I was 17 and I still thought the world outside Hogwarts was amazing. I was fully ready to apply for the (promised) job at the ministry with my father. At first the prospect of working with Dad was a bit depressing but Hermione showed me what a great opportunity it could be.

Oiy, Hermione…even her name makes my heart feel heavy, and it's been at least six months, maybe more, since it happened. You'll think I'm sappy and that I've gone bloody mad but I miss her more than anything. She was the one good thing in my life and I lost her. Missing her is like going through withdrawals, except that I can never feel complete again. I'll never get over her…and it's all that bloody Slytherin's fault…

I'll explain, because I'm probably confusing you. After our graduation, we went to Hogsmeade. Hermione kissed me and told me she was going to go say her hellos to our classmates. I'm not quite sure where Harry was, but she sure as hell wasn't with me. He would never have allowed me to do what I did. He would have stopped me…

Anyway, Rosemerta came over to my table in the Three Broomsticks and asked what I'd have. I was half thinking I'd tell her 'the usual' AKA, a Butterbeer, but I wanted something a bit stronger, a bit more adult, now that I'd graduated…

"I'll take a pint of Mulled Meade if you don't mind." I remember saying politely.

She looked a bit skeptical but smiled and said, "One pint coming up sweetie," and pinched my cheek before walking away.

I waited only a few minutes for her to return with my drink. Suddenly a pint looked much bigger in my hands than it had in the hands of the other adults. Still, I was seventeen, I was a man now, I was mature enough to handle alcohol…I was full of shit, and spectacularly drunk before I'd finished half the glass.

That's when Millicent came to pay me a visit.

I suppose that she had always been jealous of Hermione. 'Mione was smarter, prettier, well behaved and mannered. She had a boy friend, whereas Millicent had never had one. She was valedictorian at graduation and by our seventh year, one of the most well liked students in the school, besides Harry of course. Why wouldn't Millicent be jealous? I suppose that's why she did it, why she ruined my life, so that she could get at Hermione…make her pay for simply being the most amazing girl on the planet.

As you may recall, I was completely smashed and (short of singing like a loon) looked the part. Millicent came over and struck up a conversation.

"Hello Ron." She came to sit next to me and gave me a look that was very flirty, and very annoyingly so.

"Nissa seya too Millicent." I slurred in a gruff voice.

"I see you liked that pint." She said winking at me with a slow smile. It seemed that every second that passed made her look more and more like a crocodile ready to capture its prey. "Now that Hermione isn't with you, I can tell you what I've been meaning to." I looked at her, swaying slightly, my head feeling heavy.

"Do you know what I like Ron?" I wobbled my head back and forth and heard her reply in what I can only assume that she hoped would be a both convincing and sensual voice, "I like you."

I remember almost choking on the sip of my pint I'd been taking. "You what?" I said in a strangled voice.

"Oh, don't play coy with me. You know what affect you have on girls." And she scooted (if possible) closer to me. "I never realized it but you really are a very handsome person."

My stupid drunk self blushed. I had blushed for Millicent, while Hermione was my girl friend, while she was smiling and talking and not knowing that her boy friend was doing this to her. Millicent must have liked the affect she had on me because she smiled and lowered her voice. "Would you like to go somewhere more private?"

I couldn't answer because my head was beginning to feel really awful. I vaguely remember Millicent looking quickly around the bar before her eyes went wide. (I found out why later) She didn't wait half a second before throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me, hard.

Now, I don't know if you've ever been drunk, but it ruins your sense of reality. The only person I had ever kissed in my live was Hermione, so in my state of confusion, I thought Millicent was My 'Mione. I kissed her with just as much passion as I would have done with the love of my life, which I have to tell you, is a lot.

The only problem was, I realized quickly that I'd made a mistake, that the person I was completely and utterly making out with was none other than Millicent Bullstrode, not my loving and beautiful girl friend.

No, Hermione was not on the receiving side of the kiss, but I was on the receiving side of her slap.

As soon as I'd broken away from Millicent and stared in horror at her, I felt the slap, cold and hard against my cheek.

Looking up, my mind much clearer, I saw Hermione, My 'Mione, in tears and flushed with anger, and something in her eyes I hadn't seen in a very long time, hate. And I could see the hurt in her eyes. Hurt that I caused. It was a cold glare to receive from anyone, but to get it from the girl that you found yourself falling in love with was just too much.

I can vividly remember the silence that shot through the room as I tried to explain myself. All eyes were on me; even the slightly shocked and confused glance of Harry.

"Hermione, it isn't what it looks like. Please I-"

"Oh, is that so?" She asked icily. "I see you flat out snogging another girl and I'm supposed to believe that it wasn't you cheating on me? I'm supposed to believe that it was an accident. You didn't mean to? You love me?" Her voice dropped lower and I almost felt my heart physically crack in two as she spoke the next words.

"I trusted you Ron. I thought that you cared about me. I even thought that I was," she chocked on the words as tears fell down her cheeks in tracks, "I thought I might have been falling in love with you." She was trying with all her might to keep calm, but the sob that she let out rang in my ears. She covered her mouth and shook her head slowly, willing the tears to go away. "I was wrong, about everything." She said in such a hurt voice. I felt the stinging in the back of my eyes as I looked at her. She looked so fragile right then, all I wanted to do was take her into my arms and keep her there forever.

I reached out and tried to touch her but she pulled her hand away like I had burned her.

"Don't touch me. Just, leave me alone. I never, ever want to speak with you again. I hope your life is pleasant and that you-" she chocked on the words and she couldn't finish because another gasping sob had escaped her lips. She shook her head again and never looked back as she ran out the door, leaving me behind to be glared at by everyone, but glares were the least of my problems. I had lost my life, my love, and my best friend, all in one single stupid moment of confusion. I couldn't bare it any longer so I sat down at the table where I had left my pint and I cried. I felt like I had no reason to live. The pain and loneliness came at a rush and hit me like I'd slammed into a brick wall. I must have sat there for hours, crying and cursing and feeling as lonely as if I had never had a single companion in my entire life.

Harry came to sit quietly next to me as I mumbled to myself that I'd rather die than go through another hour with out her.

"Everything will work itself out and end up the way it was meant to be." He told me after a while. I didn't know how he could stand to talk to me after what he'd seen only hours before.'

I looked up at him, my eyes must have been red and swollen and I sighed. "I can't do it with out her. I can't do anything with out her Harry. You know that. Of all people you're the one that understands that the best…I just, I can't go on."

"You have to. You have to go on. Talk to her in the morning, when you aren't in this state, and promise me you'll never drink that much again until you know you can handle it."

I looked at the floor, shame and tears clouding my thoughts and my vision.

"I'll walk you over to your brothers' shop. You're in no state to apparate anywhere." I looked up thankfully at Harry, who looked back sadly.

"Harry," I managed to strange out, "you don't think I did it purposely do you? You know how much I love her." I was helpless, and I knew I sounded like it, but I couldn't help it. "Millicent was the one who went out and kissed me."

"But the point was Ron, you let her. Come on, we have to catch Fred and George before they close up."

That night I slept in Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, the twins' joke shop, and what Harry said kept coming back to me. 'But the point was Ron, you let her.' I let Millicent kiss me…I guess the quick response of a keeper at stopping quaffles doesn't carry over as quickly when you're a drunk teenager trying to stop a Slytherin from hitting on you. I'd fucked up, and pretty bloody badly…but the pain I was feeling that day would pale in comparison to what would happen later. The worst was yet to come.

A/N: Sorry about the language, but I had to use it, it seemed right there…Anyway, I hope it wasn't too harsh for you guys. I'm going to write a sequel soon, as soon as I sit down and write one. If I get reviews, maybe it will make me write faster! ;-) Thanks for reading it J

~Addy