Disclaimer: I don't own SPN.
Summary: "I know your sad little thoughts and feelings."-Meg. Tag to 8.17, Goodbye Stranger.
Author's Note: I watched this episode last night and I'm officially caught up! Anyways, ever since then, I've had this idea about explaining the complexity of Sam through Meg's eyes. I really liked their little convo and I like they had an almost friendship before she died. I think if they could've gotten past the whole demon/hunter thing, they'd be great friends. But if anyone tries to pair them, I will most likely gouge my eyes out. :) I just like the friendship is all.
"I know your sad little thoughts and feelings."
And it was true. Not only did I know them, but I felt them.
I felt the guilt Sam carried. All of it. How he didn't just think, he KNEW he was responsible for Jess' death. How so many innocent lives broke apart because of him. And how he couldn't save everyone. God, why did he think he had to save everyone?
I felt his craving for normalcy. All his life he'd wanted to break away from the life of a hunter, the danger, the fear. And when he tried, it was torn away from him. Sure now, when Dean asked, he'd say he didn't anymore, but I know that deep down he'd never truly stop yearning for a permanant home and a life to live.
I felt his anger. It seeped through his pores like he was made of the stuff. His rage at Azazel, at his Father, at every evil Supernatural being, and sometimes even at Dean was like fire. But he was never more angry at anyone than himself.
I felt his fear. The fear that he would hurt the people he loved. The fear he couldn't save anyone. The fear that he was evil. Just fear.
But more than anything, I felt him. The way he cared about people he didn't know. The way just seeing Dean always made him feel a little better. The way The Impala comforted him in times of despair. The way he loved.
That was the first time I had felt human feelings, and understood.