So, this is my first Twilight fanfic and I'm hoping to do at least an okay job. I have been writing for a few years, though, and you'll find plenty of Office fics as well as a few other random fandoms on my profile.
This chapter is mainly just an introduction. I think I know where I want this one to go, but it's going to be somewhat of a surprise to me as well as to you as we go along. Some of the characters (mostly Bella) may seem a bit OCC, but I have a reason for it, never fear. Also, this is set after the end of Twilight…New Moon never happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight…no matter how much I wish I did.
"I love you the way you are, Edward, really, but there are times when I really wish we weren't so different," I breathed as he pulled away from me.
"I'm sorry." He lay back against the pillow and ran his hand over his face.
"Don't be; just don't stop the next time."
"Bella," he started, his tone somber, "I don't want to hurt you."
"-don't want to hurt you," I said at the same time. I'd heard it before. Every time we got close to doing anything at all, he pulled away. I understood his strength. I had accepted the fact that he could snap me in half with his bare hands, but that didn't change the fact that him being so gentle and careful with me was beginning to drive me nuts.
"Bella." His tone was warning this time. He sounded like he was scolding a child.
"No, Edward," I put an edge on my voice that I hadn't used with him since before we were dating and he refused to speak to me. I leaned up on my elbow and looked down at him. "I know you're dangerous, you remind me constantly. And it's not like I don't enjoy the innocent kisses and soft touches; but seriously, you won't completely destroy me if you get a little rough." I knew he has a response to that, but I just continued. "Trust me," I took his hand in mine and brought it up to my breast gently, remembering how it had been there that way just a moment before. "This is okay." I noticed a change in his eyes, a cross between worry and lust. "But this is better," I continued, squeezing his hand around me. The worry left his eyes as he looked up at me. Lust was overpowering him. Not that I was complaining. I felt his hand grip on his own as he turned his body slowly to face me. I lay back, forcing him to rise up above me slightly.
"I shouldn't let you talk me into this," he growled, his eyes going dark.
"You'll be so glad that you did," I responded huskily as I pulled his lips down to meet mine. He kissed me gently at first, increasing and decreasing the pressure of his hand and fingers at a similar pace. After what seemed like forever, his tongue begged for entrance to my mouth and I obliged happily. He shifted his weight slightly so he was even farther on top of me, one of his knees pushing mine apart so he could settle between my legs. His hand that wasn't preoccupied with my chest moved down to my thigh and hiked my leg up over his hip.
I quickly realized this wasn't going the way it normally did. Edward was being much more aggressive with his actions. I could feel my lips already swelling as he moved his lips to my cheek, then to my jaw, then up behind my ear. I couldn't help but moan at the feeling of his lips on the soft spot there. I swear I heard him growl deeply at this, but he kept his assault on my neck. His lips descended slowly to the skin in the V of my sweater. I tightened my leg around his thigh as he started kissing his way back up to my lips. When his lips hit mine again, I could feel him start to rock his body slightly. He groaned quietly with each movement. I wasn't sure what he was doing until I felt the pressure against my crotch. I gasped when he pulled his lips away for a second. This was enough to shock him out of his actions.
The next thing I knew, he was across the room, practically cowering in the corner. I could barely see him since he stood just outside the reach of the bedside lamp that was still on. "Edward?"
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
I got up from the bed and slowly walked to him as he repeated his apology. He flinched when I reached out and touched his arm gently. "Edward? It's okay. I'm okay."
"No, I – I lost it, Bella."
"You didn't lose it. You just surprised me with, um, well," I stammered as I glanced down to see he was still slightly hard. The bulge in his jeans gave him away easily; he had been enjoying himself. I couldn't help but smirk at the thought that I had done that to him.
He followed my gaze, immediately shying away and trying to cover his arousal. "Fuck." If I hadn't been standing practically on top of him I wouldn't have even heard him curse. "I just-"
"You just had the reaction of any other teenage boy who was making out with his girlfriend." I placed my hands on his upper arms and rubbed slightly. He started to relax and finally met my eyes with his. They were dark. Not black like when he was thirsty, but they were much darker than their normal golden hue. "It's totally normal. Totally human."
"So, I didn't hurt you?"
"Not at all. I just wasn't expecting you to, well, you know." It was my turn to be embarrassed. What was I supposed to say? 'Didn't think you'd get hard from me.' 'Didn't think you'd get horny.' 'Didn't think you'd ever feel the want or need to have sex with me.' Yeah, that would definitely be a mood killer.
"Well, like you said, it's totally normal to get turned on while making out with my beautiful girlfriend." His smile had returned and he reached out and placed his hands on my hips.
"I didn't say that."
"I paraphrased." He leaned forward and kissed me gently. When he pulled back, he looked into my eyes, "So, you're positive everything is okay?"
"Well, there are a few things that could be better," I said innocently.
He cocked his head at me, curious. If only he could hear my thoughts. He surely wouldn't look at me as innocent. "What?"
"We could still be on my bed making out for one."
He laughed quietly. "That could be arranged. What else?"
"You could stop worrying so much. I'll tell you the second something is going too far. Promise."
He exhaled deeply. "Okay, but you have to swear you'll tell me right away."
I didn't answer immediately. Instead, I leaned forward and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Come on, lover, let's go back to bed." I pulled him back towards the bed with me.
"Who are you and what have you done with Bella Swan?"
I giggled and proceeded to trip, falling back onto the bed, Edward falling lightly next to me. He laughed, "There she is."
"Shut up and kiss me."
"Yes ma'am," he responded as we picked up where we left off.
I awoke the next morning curled into Edward's side. I noticed that his eyes were closed. He must be thinking about something important to close his eyes the way he had. "What you thinking about?"
He opened his eyes and looked down at me, "Morning." He leaned down to kiss my lips gently. "I was just thinking you should skip gong shopping with Alice today."
"How come?" I leaned up on my elbow, allowing my hair to spill down over the pillow next to his face.
"I'd much rather stay right here with you all day, never moving from this bed."
"Wow. I suppose I should be asking you what you've done with Edward Cullen. Not that I'm complaining, but what's with the sudden change?"
He looked up at me and spoke quietly, "Bella," he brushed his hand along my cheek, down my neck, and along my arm until he laced his fingers with mine. "Last night was amazing. I never dreamed that I could kiss you or hold you the way I did without losing myself completely. I have a strange sense of faith in myself now."
"Good. I'm glad. Now that we both have faith in you, perhaps you could –"
His face hardened slightly. "Bella, you know I don't want to change you."
"That's not what I was going to say, you silly vampire." I couldn't help but laugh at his assumption. I know that he wouldn't change me unless he had to, but that wasn't what I was looking for at the moment. His confused look made me want to laugh even harder. I leaned forward and whispered in his ear. He gasped and pulled away from me, looking more like a shocked deer than anything.
"What?"
"I said, 'I want you to make love to me.'"
"Bella, we ca–" He stopped suddenly and glanced towards the window.
"What?" The tone from the night before was back. I couldn't believe he was pulling away again.
"Damn it all to Hell." He pulled away from me, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
"What now?"
"Alice is here." He turned back to look at me, apology written all over his face, "We'll talk about this later. I promise."
"No, we're going to talk about this now."
"Bella. I promise we'll talk about it this afternoon."
I huffed, but nodded my head gently. I turned to look at him, pulling a sweatshirt over the flimsy tank top I had slept in. He was shaking his head gently, his eyes closed.
"What is it, Edward?"
He didn't answer at first, coming to my side instead, placing an arm around my waist and leading me towards the stairs. He leaned down and whispered huskily in my ear, "Alice had a vision and decided to intervene a little." He read my confusion quickly. "Apparently you are very persuasive."
I was so shocked I nearly fell over. Damn Alice.
Alice didn't even stop to say hello when I opened the front door. She grabbed my hand and dragged me into the kitchen, leaving Edward in the living room. "Oh my God, Bella."
"What, Alice?" I didn't mean for my voice to sound quite so venomous, but if she had seen me seduce Edward and still interrupted, well, I was pissed.
"You don't understand, Bella. I had to stop you guys."
"Alice," I said slowly, "All I know is that I would have gotten Edward to do what I wanted him to if you hadn't showed up."
"Bella-"
"No, Alice, this is what I want. I want to be with Edward. I want him to make-"
"He killed you, Bella!"
I stared at her in confusion. She looked away from me and her face fell.
"I didn't let him see that part. I can't bear to have him see that. It's what happened though."
"What?" I couldn't shake the confusion. I leaned against the counter, staring at the floor.
"You succeeded. You and Edward made love. I didn't watch that part, I swear, but after," she trailed off.
"What happened, Alice?"
"There was blood and Edward couldn't handle it for some reason. He tried to kiss you to bade the hunger, but he got too rough and, and," she had turned away from me. "He snapped your neck, Bella. There was nothing he could do after that."
My gasp caused her to turn. My eyes hadn't let the spot on the floor in front of me. Even when I felt her hand on my arm I kept staring. I knew Edward was there. There was no way he missed our conversation. I pulled away from her and ran to my room. I knew if he had wanted to, Edward could have caught me. Instead, he followed far behind at human speed. I was lying on my stomach on my bed when he came back into my room.
"I just wish we didn't have to be so scared that you'll hurt me."
"Me too, love." I felt the bed give as he sat next to me. I turned quickly and was in his arms before either of us could think. I just needed him to hold me. "Don't ever doubt my love for you, Bella. I love you and I want to be with you. Sometimes it's," he paused as if he didn't know the right word, "it's painful how much I want you. I want your love, and your blood, and your body. I want all of you, Bella. I just can't risk losing you. If I hurt or killed you, I don't know what I'd do."
"Promise me someday we'll be together."
He was silent for a moment, "Someday, I promise."
"Thank you." I knew he was only humoring me because I was bawling, but it was a wonderful promise nevertheless.
Usually I don't beg for reviews, but please please please let me know what you think. I rewrote this chapter twice and I'm still not all that sure of it. Like it? Hate it? Just let me know. *~Dani