Author's Note- Ulquihime is one of my fave couples of bleach. The anime that I'm currently stuck on BTW. Seriously, 100 ep in like one week. I am amazing. After I got into the Arrancar arc (I know what happens due to spoilers and manga) I quickly got into Ulquihime. Though before actually watching them I knew about them due to the manga again. Those two amazed me. Ulquiorra is my fave Bleach guy besides from a few others. And Orihime was my fave girl. Eventually this idea came to me though not fully lie this. Believe it or not this idea took my about a week to finalized. It started off as something far different then I kept on working and changing everything to get it the way it was now. Took me a while but I really like this one!
Dedication- Um...You who is reading this. Thank you.
Inspiration-First of all Ulquihime. Then to the one of the best Bleach songs (in my mind) Soundscape to Ardor/Morning Remembrance. I LOVE that song.
Disclaimer- Man if I owned Bleach it'd be a lot more different then it is now. I'd make like this huge arc on dancing and...PIZZA! And there would be hats and parties and balloons and Ulquiorra would...SMILE. No not really but that'd be cool yeah?
-OoO-
Emotions
He watched her as she would just sit there staring at the window for what seemed to be like hours on end. To be honest he didn't think she had moved ever since she came into this room days ago. She was always in the same position, in that same spot, staring right up at that same window. Sure when he entered the room she'd look at him but that was about it for her movements.
It didn't really matter to him whether she stayed still for a million years or ran around this room for ten. He could really care less as to what she did. She could climb the walls and act like a bat for all he cared. As long as she stayed here it didn't matter to Ulquiorra. Whatever she wanted to do she was free to do it. He wasn't going to stop her from being a human nor from being an idiot. After all humans were just idiots with legs and that...heart thing too. They were just mindless play things after all. No more than a rag doll.
"If your expecting your friends to come and save you, think again little girl. There's no way that they'll come to Hueco Mundo much less Las Noches. It's impossible." He told her matter-of-factly.
She simply gave a small shrug. "I know." She then turned to him. "I just like how the moon looks here. It's different and yet the same."
The Espada member rolled his eyes not really believing her lie and went on. "Even if they ever did make it here, I'm sure Lord Aizen would have them killed the moment they stepped in."
"I'm sure he would." Orihime replied.
He blinked. She was just going to take that? She wasn't going to try to defend her friends? She wasn't going to argue that yes they will make it? Or that they'll defeat Aizen? Why would she just accept it just like that? It seemed almost out of character didn't it? Wasn't she supposed to have...a strong will? Did it already break?
"And anyway..." She began looking back at the moon. "I don't really want them to come here."
"Oh?"
"You said it yourself...It's a fools errand. They'll die as soon as they enter here. It's better if they just forget about me and go on with their lives."
"Yes that would be the easy way out I suppose."
"I actually don't want them to come at all. I want them to stay where they are and live life without worry. It's better for all of us if I stay here. I'm...not much use to them actually. I usually just get in the way."
"Is that so?" Ulquiorra asked. He did guess the fact that the trash she called 'friends' didn't want her to fight due to fights he had seen before. She was barely involved with any of them unless by means of that 'healing' power. But with powers like hers...Even Lord Aizen said she was useful and powerful. Why would they not want powers such as hers? Did they not know how great they were?
"I don't blame them for not wanting me there either. It hurts to know I'm not really needed and all but...I understand the reasons for it."
"They seem to be really shallow people if they don't want you involved." He pointed out.
Orihimeshook her head. "No. It's quite the opposite. They're just worried about me. I admit that I'm not as strong as Chad. And I'm not as fast like Uryu. And I don't have amazing spiritual pressure like Ichigoor can control it like Rukia. I'm not really anything of use to them. So I'd just be in the way really. Which is why they don't want me fighting because they don't want to have to worry about my well-being and be concerned if they see me fighting."
"Sounds more like pity if anything."
"Maybe. But I know that in my heart and theirs, it's better this way. Now they don't have to worry about me. They can worry over themselves." She said rather sadly. Yeah she says that but does she mean it? Part of Orihime couldn't believe even her own words...
Ulquiorra scoffed. That stupid word again. 'Heart.' What was so important about a heart anyway? The girl had been talking about it for the past few days. 'Heart this' and 'heart that.' It was so annoying. It was completely useless.
"You humans and your emotions." He coughed. "It's rather sickening to listen too."
"I'm sorry." She apologized glancing up at his figure.
"You people rely far too much on these feelings. They're not even that important. You just waste your lives away trying to use and understand them."
Orihime smiled softly. "We probably do. It wouldn't surprise me anyway. But if having a heart makes me a weak person, call me the weakest then."
"What...?"
"I wouldn't change who I am. I like having a heart. It makes me feel human. If I cry it shows that I am alive. If I smile it shows that I am breathing. If I scream at the top of my lungs," With each sentence she slowly arose from her kneeling position into that of a standing one. "It shows that I'm not afraid of who or what I am. I am a human and I'm proud of it. I won't change."
"Hmph. Such a waste of a perfectly good life. A human is full of horrible qualites. It's is a miserable failure at life and everything in it. They are weak. Humans are better left dead and forgotten. They shouldn't even be allowed to live."
She turned to meet his gaze. "I still wouldn't change who I am. Even if it meant being as strong and as quick as a God! I would still want to be human. I like who I am. I like living and breathing at every moment of my life. I like that I'm not perfect. I like that I have flaws. It's a part of me. I'll live the way I want. Whether my life is short...or long..."
"I can arrange that request of life if you'd like." He offered straight-faced.
"It doesn't matter. If I live for just one more day or for ten more years. I'd be happy with either one."
He crossed his arms. How can this woman be so proud of being something so idiotic? How could she be proud of who she was when she admitted that she was weak? How could she be proud of being human when she had said that they were full of flaws and mistakes? It didn't make any sense. Just who was this Orihime Inoue anyway?
"How can someone like you have such a strong will power? It's next to the impossible."
Orihime shook her head and pointed to her chest. "Didn't I already tell you? It's because of my heart. I'm not afraid of anything. Dying, living, nothing."
"If it's fear you want, I'll gladly give you something to be afraid of girl." The fourth Espada member threatened clutching his sword. He wasn't about to use it, but threats were always welcomed right?
"You know what?" Orihime asked walking over to him. "Go ahead. I dare you Ulquiorra. But I can assure you that you will not succeed. If fighting Soul Reapers, and the Hollows, and fighting with my friends have taught me anything, it's that there is nothing in this world that can scare me or my friends anymore."
"Hmph." He looked away. "Trash. Everything you say. Trash."
Tears threatened to spill over her cheeks as Orihime still glared at the man standing not just three feet away from her. It wasn't that she was sad, or even mad. She wasn't scared, or worried. She wasn't anything. But then why did she have tears in her eyes that were just about to fall over? She didn't know.
"I'm not afraid of you." She whispered.
"Is that so?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Or any of the Arrancar's or Espada members." She took another step.
"If you say so." He shrugged closing the ever-ceasing gap between them.
"Or even Aizen." She finally stated.
"Very well."
She bit her lip feeling the stinging sensation rise to a new height. "I'm not afraid." She said aloud. But she wasn't sure if it was directed towards him or herself. Truth was, she was afraid. She was terrified. Being in a place like this was horrifying! When she saw Aizen...she just about lost it. He was the one of the captains that left Soul Society. And then being in that room with all those Espada members? She just about died. One wrong move and she'd have been dead within seconds. Finally...having Ulquiorra as her 'caretaker' was scary too. The man was constantly quiet with a plain/bored face. He showed no emotion whatsoever.
You know, she could have probably started to attack him and he would even flinch. She could have hit him repeatedly and he wouldn't move. Heck she could scream his name and he would make no response. She could even rip her clothing and strip down to her underwear (not that she ever would!) and he'd still look completely calm, bored, and downright tired. His expression never changed. Never. He was never shocked, surprised, happy, sad, angry, jealous...Anything! He was nothing. He showed nothing. And that was why he was so intimidating. Nothing about him ever changed.
Come to think of it, when she was with Aizen a few days prior and he was talking to her about this place and the Espada and all...Didn't he say that there were ten? Yeah. And those ten were the strongest out of all the Arrancar. Within those ten, the top four (meaning four and above) were the absolute strongest. Now that really didn't scare Orihime too much. It was chilling to think about but nothing more. However, the fourth member of the Espada...was the one taking care of her. Ulquiorra Schiffer. She could never win if she ever fought with him which was why he was so scary. He was the one who-
"You say that," He started lifting a finger right up to her cheek. The tears that she'd been holding in all this time fell down her face like a little stream in the forest. "But your body does not agree with your mind." He lifted his finger to his eyes looking at the few droplets on it.
"..."
"So then if this is the case..." He closed his palm into a fist. "Why do you keep insisting that you are indeed not afraid?"
"Because I'm not." She lied.
"Then why are you crying?" He persisted.
"I'm a human. It means I'm alive. I'm just further proving this fact." Truth was, she was crying because she was scared. She wanted to go home. Not only was coming here a bad idea but...She wanted to go home. She wanted to go back to that town she was so familiar with. She wanted to talk to her brother's spirit like she did every morning and night. She wanted to go back to school and learn even if it was boring! She wanted to go to Tatsuki and give her a big hug. She wanted to go up to Uryu and have him explain the meaning of life. She wanted to go to Chad and just talk to him (he was a good listener). She...wanted to go to Rukia and cry in her arms and have her tell her that everything is alright. She wanted to cook weird new foods with Rangiku and then have Captain Hitsugaya eat them... She...she wanted...to see Ichigo. She wanted to see him and just stay with him for as long as possible. She wanted to go back to her world.
"Huh." He opened up his clenched hand seeing the water spread over evenly on his palm.
She wiped her eyes. "You keep saying that we are flawed creatures...Then what does that make you huh?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"You were once a human too weren't you? You became a hollow then ripped off your mask to become what you are today. When you think about it all...You are still in fact a human being. Which means you are flawed too."
"Interesting theory... but you forgot one thing."
She glared. "What's that?"
Ulquiorra smirked just ever so slightly and pushed her into the wall that they were nearing ever since she stood up mintues ago. Whether she realized that they were edging ever so close to it was beyond him. It didn't really matter though. He put both his hands right by her head blocking any routes to escape not that she would try too but still.
"I'm not like you. I gave up being human a long time ago girl." He said with the same serious expression on his face.
"It doesn't matter. You're just the same as me!" Orihime cried closing her eyes. Why was he so close? And why did she feel so nervous and yet...and yet...excited?
"I beg to differ. I'm nothing like you. You say your human and that I am too. But you keep forgetting that I am a hollow. I have no heart. I am no human girl. Maybe once but not anymore. I'm a hollow and an Arrancar. I am nothing like you."
Orihime watched as he slowly unzipped his coat showing her the whole in the base of his neck and chest. It was almost like an endless black hole of darkness and depression. She couldn't tear her eyes away from it either. It was so...
"It was never there to begin with." He whispered leaning to the side of her head. His breath tickled her ear and neck.
"..."
"But even if I don't have a heart, it doesn't imply that I do not want one." He leaned over to the other side of her head. "I'll gladly take yours you know. I don't mind."
Her breathing stopped as she swallowed. Right... he always said how confusing the heart was and how he wanted one to study it. He was being dead serious about taking hers too. She knew that. Ever since she first mentioned it to him he was interested in it.
"Y-You'd be going against your orders from Aizen you know."
"To be perfetly honest," he quietly stated. "I could care less. I'll proudly take the consequences of my actions even for one glimpse of a heart."
She bit her lip. He was really going to do it! He was going to take her heart! But didn't Aizen need her for something? Didn't Aizen want her for his army? Didn't he want her for her healing powers? Wasn't she some use to him? Why would Ulquiorra, a man who followed orders to a 'T' suddenly stop following them and follow his own plans? It didn't make any sense.
He slowly reached out to her chest and laid his hand on her left side for a moment. He could feel her heartbeat and the rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. Quite quickly he might add. She was nervous.
"I-If you take it," She warned. "I'll scream as loud as I can. Alerting everyone to what you're doing."
"And I should care?" He asked blinking once.
"You'd g-get in trouble."
"Doesn't matter. Even if you do manage to warn them and they come...I'll defeat them easily. They are no match for me."
"I'm warning you Ulquiorra." Orihime said with a serious but failed tone.
The man gave a small gesture that she thought would be a shrug and then carefully put his head to her chest causing a quiet squeel to erupt from her. His head was...right there. His head was right there. His head was right there. Oh god, oh god, oh god.
"W-What are you d-doing?"
He closed his eyes for a moment and listened to the ever-rising 'thumping' noise of her heart. It was like a drum he noted. "Be quiet girl." He hissed trying to count how many beats her heart was giving.
She did as she was told. Immediately she closed her mouth and eyed him. He was being very forward and rather a bit creepy, but then that was expected of him too. Still this action...as weird and shocking as it was, strangely she didn't mind. Sure having a man being so close to her chest was a bit nerve-racking but...She couldn't explain it. For some reason, she didn't mind having Ulquiorra just being there listening to her.
He looked so calm and serene at this moment in time. His eyes closed, a quiet and soft expression on his face. She could even feel his breathing. His hands were holding hers high above her head, and as awkward as this position was, she wasn't about to change it anytime soon.
Suddenly his eyes opened and he glanced at her. Blush crept its way up on her cheeks but she found that she couldn't look away. She could feel her heart rate increasing more, if that were possible.
"You're nervous and rather scared." It wasn't a question.
"N-no. Just a little surprised."
He inclined his head as he rose back to a standing position. "You said that I have a heart."
"..."
"Would it be like yours if it was there?"
"What do you mean?" She blinked.
"Your heart-rate is quite high compared to normal but..." He pointed to his chest. "If I had one...would it be like that?" He now pointed to hers.
She swallowed and furrowed her brows. Just moments ago he was stating that he was going to take hers away, now this? Exactly who was this man anyway?
Ulquiorra grabbed her head and put it against his chest. "Would I have a heart-beat like yours?" He asked looking down on her.
The reddening girl glanced up before closing her eyes to try to listen. She waited. Nothing. There was nothing. No thumping, no bumping, no drumming. She could feel the rise and fall of his chest to indicate that yes he was breathing but there was no heart beat. He was right. He did have no heart. Then how was he even alive?
"I-I would guess that yours would be a lot more calmer than what mine would be but yes." She said lifting her face to meet his emerald eyes with her own grey ones. "That is if it was there."
For a moment, he actually kind of looked sad when she stated that fact. He looked pained for a second. But as quickly as the expression came it was gone and so was he. As soon as she blinked she heard the sound of the door to her cell closing and once again she was alone.
-OoO-
For the rest of that night, Ulquiorrafound that he could not sleep. Well not that he did much sleeping anyway but that was besides the point. His mind wasn't at ease. It was like a never ending movie replaying over and over. What that girl had said, what he had did, kept ringing into his mind.
He clenched and unclenched his hands for the umpteenth time. Why was he acting like this? He hadn't done anything like this before...Why now? Just what was that feeling he had when she was looking at him? It felt as if...
"Don't you think you're getting a bit to close to her?" A voice interrupted his thoughts.
The Esapda glanced up to meet the eyes of none other than the sixth member of the Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez.
"Don't think I don't know what is going on in that room Ulquiorra." He laughed emphasizing the fourth Espada's name.
"And what prey tell do you think is going on?"
"Her spiritual pressure gives everything away. As soon as her emotions arise, anyone can tell. Are you that blind?"
Wait a minute...spiritual pressure can do that? He frowned. Of course he knew that. Grimmjow was just messing around. The likes of him could never tell if the girl was scared or happy. Much less anything else.
Ulquiorra rolled his eyes. "Don't you have anything better to do?" He wasn't about to play this game with him. Ulquiorra didn't do stuff like that. It was trash.
"If I didn't know any better," He chuckled once. "I'd get the feeling that you're growing soft."
"Soft? What do you mean?"
"It means what it means." He indicated a wave towards the pale man. "You're getting to attached to her."
"I'm in charge of taking care of her. I'm required to make sure nothing happens to her."
"Caregiver? Guardian? Protector? It means the same. That may be what you want to be but I don't think that's quite the case anymore there Ulquiorra."
He gave the slightest hint of a growl. Ulquiorra scowled, "Just what are you implying?"
The arrancar-like panther shrugged leaning against the wall. "Hey I'm no expert on feelings. But maybe you should be more aware of what you're doing with her. Who knows? Maybe even a hollow could fall in love?"
Okay that was it. Ulquiorra was just about ready to slap some sense into that empty head of his, or that was the idea until the blue-haired Espada leaped out of his quarters and dashed down the hall to where ever.
He sighed. Just what exactly was that cat-brained idiot talking about now? Love? Hmph. Pathetic. It was only in fairy tales. And anyway, hollows, Arrancar, Espada...whatever...they don't have feelings. So how could they ever feel love if it ever even existed? Only an idiot wishes for that.
"Love huh?" he quietly whispered laying down. No it was impossible. There was no such thing. "Such a stupid remark."
-OoO-
She was kind of glad that Aizen did give her a change of clothes since she would staying here for some time it seemed. Granted they were the same as the white dress she had on now but still, even if it was the same garment, she'd gladly accept it. After all the one she had been wearing for...how long had it been since the first day? Well it was getting a bit dirty. She wanted cleaner clothes now...
She sighed as she unfolded the 'new' dress. Yep it was exactly the same. Oh well. It was clean. That was good right? She'd take clean clothing over dirty any day. Then again who wouldn't? Dirty clothes were ew. And Orihime was not a fan of ew.
She was just slipping the off the old dress and into the new clean dress when a knock on her door stopped her.
She glanced behind her as the familiar, "I'm coming in." was heard.
Oh. It was Ulquiorra. She thought it might have been...Oh crap! Ulquiorra! Wasn't he a bit early? Wasn't he supposed to come like not now?
"J-Just a minu-" She tried but failed to explain as the door opened. It was almost like slow motion really. The door creaking, and having the new light shed through. Then the figure of the man slowly stepping in, hands in pockets and the same expression on his plain face.
Now probably any girl at this moment would do either A) Scream B) Cover up C) Question to entering person as to why they are here D) Order person entering to leave immediately or E) All of the above. Guess which one Orihime chose?
"NAAH! W-What are you doing here?" She squeaked struggling to cover her top half. "Get out!" And as any normal girl would do, she blushed uncontrollably and secretly died on the inside. 'Oh God,' her mind cried. 'He saw me...naked!' Well no that wasn't true. She was covered up pretty well. The dress was already half on anyway, the only thing really showing was her stomach and bra. Still...Scary and embarrassing moment 101.
"Oh." He commented not moving. "You're changing."
Just like Ulquiorra to show no change in expression. The least he could do was be wide-eyed. Or shocked to see her...like this. But nooo. Oh no. Ulquiorra would be the only one to remain calm and not even move. Couldn't he turn a blind eye? Or actually physically leave? Or even close his eyes? Couldn't he do that? No apparently not. He just stood there. He stood there. Doing nothing. Just staring. Not eye-boggling but staring. Argh. Men in this Espada huh?
"Um..." She mumbled. "Do you mind?"
"Go right ahead and finish. I just brought you your meal." He titled his head to the cart not just five feet away from where he stood. Wait a minute. What happened to the Arrancar that brought her food with him? Was he busy?
She sighed. Yep. Plain and simple. He didn't care nor even was surprised by her...unclothed self. He didn't even flinch or wince.
"It suits you you know. Though I'm sure I have already said that before." He commented glancing at her. Why couldn't he look her in the eye?
Blush crept onto her face turning her into a bright strawberry. Oh...Strawberry. Ichigo. Right.
Sadness found another way to take its own pathway onto her face as she remembered her last words to the man she loved. "I wish I could have had five different lives instead of one. Then instead of one town, I could have been born to a family of five different ones. And each one would have fed me a lifetime of different foods. And I would have grown up to have five different careers...And in every one of those lives...I would have fallen in love with the same person five different times."
"Are you going to finished getting dressed? Or will I have to finish it for you?" Ulquiorra's voice interrupted her thoughts.
"Huh? Wha-"
Before she had time to finish he was suddenly right behind her, both of his hands on her bare shoulders. "Do I need," He leaned forward his lips just brushing against her temple. "To repeat myself? I'm sure you heard every word."
"Um...I..uh..."
She could feel his, surprisingly warm (she could have sworn he'd be ice cold) hands as they slipped down her bare back. What was he doing? Just what exactly was he trying to accomplish?
Zip!
"Ah!" She exclaimed but then quickly regained her postured after realizing that he only finished doing her up. Wait. There was a back zipper?
"You humans are so easily fooled." Came his voice once more from behind her though his hands never left her back.
"...Thank...you."
"Will you eat now?"
She only nodded. Having him so close to her...She couldn't dare to look at him. She was as red a a tomato. Ever since that incident yesterday...It sent shivers down her spine.
The meal she had today was the same as ever other day's meal. It consisted of the basic foods. There were grains, dairy, meat, fruits and vegtables. But never were there any sweets. She thought that Aizen wanted to keep her healthy...or something. Maybe he just couldn't afford it? Whatever the reason, there was no sugars within the meals she had.
Now normally after she started eating Ulquiorra would leave saying that he'd be back in one hour. It always one hour too. Exactly. Not one second too late or early. He was always on the dot. It was a bit creepy...But today, right now, he didn't leave. He just stood there leaning against the wall furthest from where she sat and stared at her with those emerald eyes of his. She didn't mind really, but it was very distracting.
"Do you...um...need something?" She swallowed.
"Nothing really..." He paused. "Though I am rather curious about something."
"Y-Yes?"
"A heart. Well to be more precise the feelings of a heart. Love as an example."
"Heart?" She blinked. "Love?"
"Explain it to me."
Another swallow as she pondered over this strange request. "S-Sure I suppose. What do you want to know?"
"Didn't I just say it aloud?"
She nodded. Right. He did. Whoops. "Well the heart is probably the base of all emotions. Joy, fear, surprise, sadness, anger, love and a whole lot more. The heart is in the middle of this. It is the one that feels the emotions and judges which is the correct one to use."
"Like a mind?"
"Yeah." She shrugged. "Something like that. I guess you could say the mind sees and ponders the situation and sends it to the heart for it to be further analyzed. Kind of like how scientists can examine a situation like in an experiment."
"If the mind sees the situation and sends it to the heart...What does the heart then do?"
She smiled. "Well to use simple terms... It gives the correct emotion to the body to use. If the mind see's a dangerous situation...the heart will respond with fear or even surprise."
"I see." Ulquiorra paused processing it all. Humans and their emotions was still quite a pitiful thing. But... "Then what about...Love?"
Orihime blushed slightly as soon as finished the sentence and edged closer to her by a few steps. "L-Love is a bit more complicated."
She bit her lip. How to explain something like love to someone who could never comprehend it? Much less didn't even have any emotions.
"Well love is...a strong affection or attachment to another person or thing really. You really care for it and like it and want to protect it with all your being. Love is well...To be honest Ulquiorra it is the hardest emotion to understand. I think."
"You people use emotions so easily...and yet love is the...hardest? You say that after showing all other emotions so easily?"
"Love is hard to understand. There's different forms of it. I don't even get it." She twiddled her fingers together for a few moments. "Love is the hardest thing for someone to come to terms with. It's as the saying goes the hardest three things to say are 'I love you,' 'I am sorry,' and 'help me.'
"Why would someone say that?"
"I love you?" She repeated. "Well, when you love someone...wouldn't you rather tell them?"
"I'm not sure. Why would you?"
"So that they can know that you love them of course. Why else?" She giggled. Talking to Ulquiorra was growing on her. She'd admit it. He was so strange but very interesting. She hadn't had these types of conversations for like ever. She kind of enjoyed when he would come into her room and just talk to her. Whether it was only one question or ten didn't matter. She would talk and he'd listen.
But all the while he was growing on her in the back of her mind she would always question herself. "Does he feel the same way?" Or even, "What happenes if the others actually make it here?" What then? Would she be forced to stay? And then what about him? She didn't want him to get hurt but neither her friends either. Knowing Ichigo he'd attack Ulquiorra head on...
"What if..." Ulquiorra blinked. This conversation..."They reject you?"
"I suppose that's something you'd just have to deal with." She muttered under her breath. She knew why he asked this. She could tell even if he couldn't. She also knew that her words were true even to her. She had told Ichigo of her feelings. Okay he was asleep and therefore probably couldn't hear but...
He gave the slightest hint of a nod. Then the deathly silence came between them that seemed to last for hours on end. He would glance at her then she at him as soon as he looked away and vice versa. It lasted for...ever.
"Have you...ever loved someone girl?"
Drat. She knew the question would pop up but from him? Weird.
"Um...yeah I think so. Maybe."
"You're not sure?"
"Not really." She admitted glancing up at him. "Well yes. No. Not at all."
"Then why say yes?" He pressed.
"Then why say no either?" She repeated.
The dark-haired Espada nodded. Love huh? That was what he was talking about. But did he know it? Hm. Knowing Grimmjow he'd think love was a fly. What an idiot. Talking about something as foolish as love. How sad.
"Anyone is capable of love Ulquiorra." Orihime murmured watching as he moved towards the door. "Even a hollow. I've seen it with my own eyes."
"A hollow," He began shaking his head. "Can never love. Love is an emotion from the heart. We have no hearts." He glanced at her once more before leaving. As soon as the door closed, "No matter how much we wish for one, it'll never happen."
-OoO-
"The hardest words to say..." Orihime mumbled to herself. Right. Hard.
Truth was when she was talking to Ulquiorra today and even yesterday and ever since she first saw him...Something changed. He was different then what she remembered. He was the same. He was different. Same, different, same, different. She liked that. She really liked that. No. No. She didn't like that. She liked him. Like, a lot. She really liked him. He was so...strange. She couldn't put her hand on it. But there was something about Ulquiorra that she liked.
Liked...Loved...Admired...Adored...Cherished...Devoted...Fondness...Yearned...It meant all the same things. She knew that she liked Ichigo. But Ulquiorra...He was different. Something about him just screamed mysterious. She liked that. He was different from Ichigo and yet the same as him too.
But there was no sense in going after these new emotions she felt. Ulquiorra was right. He was a hollow. He had no heart. He wasn't able to understand emotions like a human could. Not that he ever would either.
Ulquiorra was an Espada. He was an enemy. He was the one who had threatened to kill her friends if she didn't comply with his demands. He was the one who forced her to leave the world of the living with him to Hueco Mundo. He was the enemy.
She couldn't like the enemy. No. Liking the enemy was bad. She can't do that. And yet..why didn't she believe that?
If she liked Ulquiorra... there was no way he'd feel the same for her. The enemy did not care for their enemies. It was against all logic. Ulquiorra was her caretaker. He had to make sure she was well and alive. Just because he'd stop to chat or ask stuff like this didn't mean he cared.
There was no way he'd like her either. Just look at her. Reddish orange hair? It looked as if her hair had a battle and decided to leave it as a tie. Grey eyes? They looked as if she died. Her skin was pale and...She looked weird okay?
Back in the world of the living... back when she was with Ichigo, Uruyu, Chad and Rukia...Even then she was weird. She was strange. Different. She knew that. She could tell. When Ichigo looked at her she could tell in his eyes that she was different. Sure they were friends but...She knew Ichigo found her odd. Not to mention weak. When they tried to save Rukia? She rarely even fought. Uruyu was always there protecting her. And when they found Ichigo again...She was useless. Or when those Bounts guys came? Don't even begin to argue.
When Ichigo saw Rukia...How happy he looked? It broke her little heart. She knew Ichigo liked Rukia. He cared for her so much. They shared a special bond together. Their chemistry was...something to be admired. Rukia cared for him as well. Whenever he would disappear at times and they couldn't find him? Rukia almost lost it. When Rukia disappeared it was the same for Ichigo...
So why would she even be involved? They liked each other so much. Her being there and liking Ichigo? She was the third wheel. Even with Chad and Uruyu and Renji? Third wheel. She didn't belong there. She never did. She was an add on. She didn't need to be there. She just came along for the ride. Ichigo was driving, and Rukia was right beside him. Chad and Uruyu were in the back passengers seat and then Renji was behind them. She was in the trunk. Maybe not even that.
Truth is, they didn't need her. She was useless. Even here, in Hueco Mundo she was not fully needed. Sure Aizen was interested in her powers but so what? It was bound to come when he didn't need her or she was unable to comply with his demands.
It was the same for Ulquiorra and the Espada. She was an add on. A third wheel. Just along for the ride and not really needed. She was...the other woman. She was always the second woman. Maybe third, fourth or fifth woman. She was there but not first. She was the other. So why should she even bother? It was the same for Ichigo and Rukia...It would be the same for Ulquiorra too. She was a wheel...Useless...Not needed...
-OoO-
Ulquiorra glanced up at the ceiling. Love huh? Even the girl said it was hard. How peculiar.
He didn't mind spending time with the prisoner. No it was quite the opposite. She was very interesting. No wonder Lord Aizen was interested in her and her abilities. But for Ulquiorra himself he wasn't interested in her abilities. Sure they were interesting and all but...eh. He was more interested in her personality really. She was quite strong-willed compared to other humans he had met. She was different. Whether it was a good different or bad he didn't exactly know for certain.
Orihime Inoue was her name. She was a human with God-defying abilities. She was that friend of that trash wasn't she? Ichigo something. She was pretty quiet compared to other people but he wasn't complaining. Or you know, maybe she was just quiet for here really. Did it really matter anymore? From what he was aware, she was one of the four who went to Soul Society with that trash. Yeah that's what Aizen had told him. She herself wasn't too much of a fighter but she could defeat a captain quite easily if she trained correctly.
Ulquiorra wondered. Why was saying those words hard? If a human could be capable of doing such a stupid thing as love another person why would saying it be any different? 'Help me' and 'I'm sorry' were completely different but 'I love you?' That didn't seem too hard. Expressing ones love for something...Hmph.
"No wonder these humans will die soon." He murmured. "Weak fools."
-OoO-
"Orihime Inoue." His voice echoed loudly in her chamber/cell, bouncing off all four walls. "Come with me."
She blinked rising from her bed. "Hm? For what?"
"No questions. No answers. Just be quiet and come with me."
Umm...Okay? That was rather demanding wasn't it? "Okay?" She replied quietly stepping towards him. What time was it anyway?
Grabbing her hand Ulquiorra whisked her away from the room and down the hallways of Las Noches. Orihime herself hadn't really been down any of them unless escorted by Ulquiorra to Lord Aizen or something. So really this was one of her first times actually being out from her room. It was nice to see a change in scenery even if it was in an enemy hideout.
"Where are we going anyway?" She asked looking at the endless white and grey walls of the building.
"Silence your tongue girl or I'll do it for you." Was his answer.
She didn't want to be a complainer or anything but Ulquiorra was a very rude person. Seriously. The things he said to her. Why couldn't he be more gentlemen like? Was that asking too much? For him to be a little kinder? Wasn't he supposed to be...
"Ulquiorra's not one for conversation really. The fact he's willing to talk to you so much is a miracle in itself."
"If he's not a fan of talking, then why does he talk to me?"
"Eh who knows? I myself never got that man, and I've been here for quite sometime too. But I think that he's taking a liking to you girl, as amazing as that is, and that is probably why he's willing to actually talk and spend time with you."
"A liking to me? Why?"
"You interest him somehow. He finds you rather confusing compared to all the other humans he had met. I don't blame him for thinking that either. The way you act and the way you are...Hmph. I'm a little jealous that he spends so much time with you. I guess he wants to know more about you. What makes you tick you know?"
"..."
"Girl, you amaze him with the way you talk, walk, and even act. He wants to know more about you. He's trying to understand you more. So if he starts acting a lot ruder or nicer, again another miracle, don't take it personality. That's the way he is."
Right. Interested to find out what makes her tick. That's what that Espada said right? So was this a test too? Was Ulquiorra testing her?
She frowned in thought. Testing or not that little 'joke' or whatever was quite inappropriate. "You should watch what you say you know. You could offend someone." She said now back in reality.
"Why should I care if I offend someone? Much less you?"
"Well..." Crap. She didn't expect that. Now what to say? "If you keep doing that I'll stop talking to you."
He glanced out of the corner of his eye at her. Even if she couldn't fully see his expression she could tell in his eyes that he could care less. "I wouldn't mind."
"Will you at least answer my question from before? As to where we are going?"
He turned back to face her giving her one long and hard glare. "..." He thought for a moment before replying, "No."
Orihime sighed when they started walking again. "Then how about why?"
"No."
"Hmph." God was he difficult. Guys... "Um...then why are you holding my hand?"
His eyes moved to their interlocked palms before they went back to looking forward. "So you don't get lost or try to escape."
"Are you showing me around?"
"Not really."
"What about-"
"As I said before, if you don't quiet yourself I will make you."
She frowned again crossing her arms over her chest and stopping in the middle of the hallway. "I'd like to see you try."
He gave her a questioning gaze. "Of course. What would you like to try first? How about cutting off your tongue? Or sewing your mouth shut? If you'd like I could hold your tongue or even stuff my hand down your throat to keep you quiet. Your choice. Either one doesn't matter."
She swallowed. "Okay." She murmured taking his hand again and walking with him.
"Good." Was his last and final answer.
-OoO-
How long had it been since they started walking? How long had this silence been going on? Orihime didn't know. She wasn't sure she wanted to. It started off as an interesting walk but then turned rather annoying and boring. She would rather go back in her cell and stay there then to have to deal with this. Ulquiorra was being rather troublesome. Now she just wanted to sit down or even leave. She'll find her own way back.
"It's nice to know you can follow orders." His voice interrupted her thoughts.
"..."
"Then let's try a new one."
"...?"
He turned. "I'll let go of you, but you have to stay right beside me the entire time. When I walk you do. When I run you do. You have to constantly stay right beside me." He pointed to his side.
Orihime nodded sadly stepping up to him.
"If you see anyone, do not speak to them even if they talk to you. You are only allowed to speak when I allow you to. You say what I tell you when I do. No questions asked."
Another nod.
"And I suppose you can start talking to me again if you'd like but on one condition."
"What's...that?"
"Only if you promise to follow my orders and answer every one of my questions."
She blinked. This request could be go either directions. Good or bad. But if there was anything she learned about Ulquiorra, it was that he wasn't one for asking too personal questions.
"Okay."
-OoO-
"Alright. Then how about..." He paused thinking of another question to ask. He was surprised by how much she had followed his demands. She was being quite nice and honest. She had answered every single one of his questions. Even the rather uncomfortable ones too. He was slightly amazed by her will power.
"If there was one emotion you could feel for the rest of your life, no others only one, which one?"
"That's a rather different question isn't it?"
"Your answer?"
Orihime thought for a moment. If she could feel one emotion for the rest of her life what would it be? Hmmm...Emotion huh? Well joy/happiness would be a good one right? You'd be happy. That was good. But what if someone died? You couldn't feel sad. That was bad. And then if you felt sadness forever that was just downright depressing. Anger was out of the question. Surprise would get annoying because you'd be constantly gasping for even the smallest thing. Homework 'gasp,' a present 'gasp,' a turkey 'gasp,' and everything else in between.
If you felt fear you'd constantly be afraid of everything. Even air! That would suck. A lot. Huuuuuh. This was hard.
"I guess..." Orihime murmured realizing her answer. "Mine would be love. That way I could feel happy, sadness, surprised, and even fear and anger too. Since love is an emotion with every emotion."
"Interesting choice. I would think you would have picked happiness."
Orihime stopped as soon as Ulquiorra did mid-sentence. He eyed her for a moment before closing his eyes. "What is it?" She asked.
"I wish I could feel emotions the way you do. In that way I am jealous I suppose. If there was one thing I want, it is emotions. Even sadness."
She smiled. "To me you always look sad Ulquiorra." She gently caressed his cheeks. "Those lines on her face look like tears to me. Seeing you sad...it is sad."
"I wish I could feel the same girl. I want to feel things the way you can."
"If I could," She smiled more. "I'd give you emotions."
"Then what?"
"Then you could be happy. And sad. And angry, shocked, surprised, afraid...And even love."
He grabbed her hands. "As much as that would please me little girl," He gently gave them a tight squeeze before releasing them. "It could never happen."
She tried to swallow the large bump or whatever that was in her throat. This...emotion. It hurt her. She was hurting. But more than her, he was hurting. The pained look on his face, his eyes, he looked as if he were about to burst into tears. 'Ulquiorra..."
He nodded at her before he started down the hallway. "If you'd like you can return to your cell. I'll sent someone to take you there."
She watched his retreating figure. This emotion...The sadness, the pain, the anger, the shock, the surprise, the joy, the happiness, the confusion, the annoyance. Guilt, hope, frustration, disappointment, desire, horror, regret, rage, curiosity, euphoria, empathy...
She shook her head. She knew this emotion. She knew this. She didn't expect it. Much less here. But she knew it.
She bit her lip. Should she stop him? Should she go after him? Should she stay where she was and do nothing? Should she go back? Should she forget about this? Should she act upon this emotion?
What should she do? What would they do? What would Rangiku or Captain Hitsugaya do? What would Chad do? What would Renji do? What would Uruyu do? What would Rukia do? What would...Ichigo do?
She closed her eyes in thought. Her breathing becoming shorter and shorter. What should she do?
'I'm tired of standing around and doing nothing. It's time I start doing something. Not for them, not for him, but for me! I need to act on my own. Show them what I'm capable of. I'm able to help! I'm able to do something! I can. I can. I can!'
Sucking in a huge breath, Orihime ran. She ran. She ran as fast and as hard as she could. Whether her friends thought what she was doing was right or wrong didn't matter. She was doing this for herself. It was time for her to make her own decisions. This was for her.
The more she ran, the more tired she got by each passing second. Would she do it? Would she make it? His retreating figure seemed to be getting closer but it still seemed to be so far away. C'mon! C'mon! C'mon!
"Ulqui..." She gasped. "Ulqui..."
He didn't hear her.
"Ulqui...! Ulqui...!" She tried again louder.
He still didn't hear her.
She was tired of just standing around doing nothing. She barely helped anyone at all. Healing did not count anymore. She needed to do more. She could fight. She could defend. She could help! She could help! She was tired of standing around and doing nothing...it was time for her to shine!
'Watch me Uruyu. Watch me Chad. Watch me Renji. Watch me Rangiku. Watch me Hitsugaya. Watch me Rukia. Watch me Sora. Watch me mom, dad...Soul Society. Watch me Kurodo, Ririn, Noba. Just watch me Ichigo!'
"ULQUIORRA!"
"?" He turned to the running girl behind him.
"I'm not... standing around... anymore!" She cried finally reaching to him gasping for breath. "I'm tired... of doing... nothing. I want to be... able to.. help people. I want to... fight."
"..."
"But more over..." She gasped for more breath. "I'm tired of not acting on my own accord... I always have to act for someone elses sake... Never my own... I never make my own decisions."
"..."
"So I'm finally doing something for myself. Something that I want to do."
"..."
Blush crept onto her face as Orihime took one more step closer to Ulquiorra. "This is for me."
"..."
Ulquiorra blinked rather confused before Orihime tightly grabbed his collar and pulled him down to her height.(AN-Ulquiorra's actually pretty tall compared to Orihime's height) Before he even had time to process what on Earth was going on, much less what was going on with her, she crashed her lips onto his with as much force as she could.
Now being an Espada/Hollow/Arrancar/Dead thing, this kind of scared him/surprised him. I mean if you were completely unaware of human customs you would think that she was killing you. But Ulquiorra, being the amazing Espada he was, knew this action. Vaguely. But he knew it.
The kiss in itself was pretty soft and quick. Not to mention a rather bit odd. Seriously. A human kissing a Hollow? Uhhh...
She parted very slowly from Ulquiorra and gazed into his eyes. "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable." She admitted.
Ulquiorra swallowed. Yeah he was a bit surprised and nervous. But, "No. That's quite alright."
She smiled slightly. "This is for me."
"I know."
"And no one else okay?"
"I got it." He blinked. He wasn't going to lie in stating he did not enjoy what happened a moment ago. Because truth was he did. He really liked it. A lot. Then if she were able to do that without feeling anything then he should... "If you can do something for yourself then can I?"
"It's only fair." She breathed.
He was slightly afraid to do so but quickly put his feelings aside and gently, very carefully, caressed Orihime's cheeks. He titled her head to the side ever so slightly and returned her gesture. "I may not be able to feel emotions," he murmured against her lips. "But I can try to feel something close to it."
"I'll help you if you'll let me." She whispered back interlocking their fingers.
He stopped and looked back at her. "You'll help me feel emotions? You are willing to help the enemy?"
She shrugged. "I don't see you as the enemy Ulquiorra. Much less mine. At least not anymore anyway."
"..."
"And anyway," She smiled wrapping her arms around his neck. She had to go on her tiptoes to be able to do so however. "I'm a sucker for green eyes."
"Aa." That made sense. Ulquiorra nodded. For the first time, he felt something. He wasn't sure what but something was defiantly there. And for what seemed to be like forever, Ulquiorra smirked. No smiling but a smirk. 'It was a start,' He figured.
-OoO-
Author's Note-BTW I put this at the end and beginning of my stories so you guys know how I think. . But anyway...did you like it? I'm so proud of this story. Seriously. I loved how it came out. A week's worth (nodds head)
Can you believe most of this story was written while listening to Bleach music? The last three -OoO- parts were written while listening to Shinji's (I LUV that guy) theme. Can't back down. God is that a fun theme. I like the Sax in it. Maybe I should ask my friends if we can play together on our instruments?
Anyway thank you very much for reading. I love you guys. And if it's not too much trouble, drop by and leave a review? Let me know how you like it? Maybe should I continue with Bleach? Write a story about how awesome Shinji is? A story of how much Kenpatchi scares me?
Love you!
CBZ