"We…. shouldn't….. be doing…. this" I try to get out between the kisses that are leaving me breathless. I can't help but tighten my fingers in his blond, thick curls. Can't help how his kisses make me only crave more of his lips on mine.
"When's the last time he kissed you like this?" He questions, pulling only far enough away to look at my surely swollen lips. "Tell me, Katniss, when's the last time?"
I look into those normally bright blue eyes that have turned almost black, his pupils are so big, and shake my head. "I can't remember."
Peeta's right though, always is. I have never felt the heat I feel with him when I'm with Gale. Even when we first started dating, I never felt that need. Peeta is everything I didn't know I was missing in a relationship. Someone I could talk to about anything and everything, someone who genuinely seemed to care about how my day was going. And then he was also playful and sexy and just so much more than what I had with Gale.
His lips crash back onto mine; sucking and nipping greedily at mine, making my center throb for more. I fall into him, not getting enough of the feel of him against me. Why we still our clothes on is a mystery to me and I let him know by tugging on the hem of his white t-shirt he didn't bother to change out of when I called him over from work. Peeta lifts his arms and his mouth only leaves mine so I can get the clothing off and not wanting to waste any more time than needed, I shed mine as well.
I let my fingers feel him as his mouth claims mine again. I will never tire of his lips; never tire of this want for him, this need for him. I play with the light dusting of hair on his chest, pinching his nipples a little, drawing his moan into my mouth. Tilting my head back some, so that he can kiss my neck, I tell him, "I'm not here to talk about him. I only want you."
"Ugh, Katniss, I need to taste you." Is his response as he pushes me back onto the mattress and slowly, so agonizingly slowly, kissing his way down the middle of my body, taking a second or two to flick his tongue against my already hardened nipples before he gets to his goal. My hips buck up against his mouth so he puts a big, strong hand on my not-so-tight-anymore belly, keeping me still. So instead, I grab the sheets on either side of me, bunching them in my fists, breathing hard already as he slides two fingers into my very wet, very ready entrance.
I begin to chant his name, nothing else coming to my mind except for how wonderful he makes me feel. I don't want to think about how Gale never does this, or at least won't unless I actually ask for it. I don't want to think about how Gale's kisses don't leave me wanting anything else. I don't want to think about how wrong what Peeta and I are doing here is. But it all comes flooding in at the most inappropriate time, whether I want them to or not. But then I feel Peeta's hand on stomach move a bit and I know that he knows I've gone someplace else.
His blond head pops up from between my legs, "What's wrong, Katniss? Should I stop?"
I shake my head, "No, keep going, please keep going." I'll let my guilt find me later, when I'm alone again, like I always do.
He lowers his head, keeping his eyes trained on mine until they roll back into my head as his tongue finds my clit and nips at it like he were testing how hard he could do it, lapping up what comes dribbling out of me. And I'm right back where I was thirty seconds ago…..a mess of a woman being pleasured by the man she should have married. I begin to swear, which to Peeta is a good sign that I'm well on my way to finishing. He thrusts his thick fingers back into me hard and I cry out loudly at the sensation. I feel my walls convulse around his fingers and shout out, "Fuck! Oh fuck! Peeta!"
It's never taken long for me to see stars with Peeta. He has known how to use his mouth and fingers and that glorious cock of his to make me come since the first day we met each other after almost two decades of not seeing one another. His grin is laughable but I'm too jellylike to care. But when he starts to climb back up my body, hooking my knees over his shoulders, my body responds quickly.
I grab his head again, fingers fisting in those curls of his, bringing his pink, wet lips to mine, where I taste myself and feel the heat pool in my belly again. What is it about him that makes me a quivering mess with one look, one touch, one kiss? I don't have an answer and I don't care as he slides into me, not bothering with a condom since I went back on the pill for the exact purpose of feeling every inch, every ridge, of him fill me. As lubricated as I am, he still stretches me, every time, every wonderfully perfect time.
He lets me adjust to his girth before pumping into me carefully at first, until my hips rise up to meet his. Then his thrusts get faster and harder as he holds himself above me on his forearms. I try to keep my gray eyes trained on his darkened blue ones, but when he hits that spot again, I can't keep them open. I can feel my walls tightening around him again, so much quicker this time than the last, he feels so good.
"Come for me, baby. Just know that I'm not done with you yet." He growls into my ear, his breath hot on my skin. Every part of me is tingling from his words and that sets me off into space again as my ankles hook behind his head. He thrusts into me hard one more time, stilling so that I can ride out my second orgasm in less than five minutes with him thick inside of me. Once I've calmed down a bit, he slides out of me, making me quickly miss his warmth. "Move over here to the edge."
I do as he says even though I don't really want to move but I know he hasn't come yet and I want him inside of me when he does. He helps me onto my stomach, pulling my legs over the side of the bed, hitching me up just at the right height as he lines his cock up at my extremely wet entrance. He slides himself against me and then slams into me from behind. I wasn't ready for it and my arms buckle but it doesn't take away from how good he feels standing behind me. I lock my arms beneath me, loving the feeling of his balls hitting the backs of my inner thighs. It doesn't matter what position we're in, they all feel great when it's Peeta.
He reaches forward, grabbing a breast and fondling it roughly, keeping his furious pace while my head swims in exquisite ecstasy. He surrounds me in every way; his scent, his warmth, his strength. I want to cry at how much I love being with him, at how much I missed while not being with him. Once again I feel myself tightening and he pulls me up, flush against his solid body, nipping at the spot behind my ear that makes me even weaker in the knees, while he slows down his thrusts, making sure he pulls out almost completely and then filling me to the hilt once again.
"Oh God….Peeta….you feel so gooood!" I'm not even aware I can speak, not sure if the words made sense, but I can tell he's getting close when he pushes me back down and grabs my hips, where there are sure to be bruises tomorrow and hammers into me erratically. "Ohfuckfuckyes!"
"You're so tight, Katniss!" He yells out and I turn my head to see if I can see his face when he releases into me. His eyes catch mine and that's all it takes as his whole body jerks with the strength of his orgasm. "Fuck!"
He collapses on top of me; both of us half hanging on the bed, our legs limp from our excursions. He's still inside of me and I welcome it. I don't like being without him, not in any way. But I know our time is measured right now.
I wish it was me who was leaving. Leaving the man who has never loved me with so much passion, so much force, so much adoration. Someday soon I will though. I deserve the man who is sliding out of me, making sure that he gathers me in his strong arms as he places both of us onto the bed to catch our breaths and say the words we've been holding in all night.
"Do you love me? Real or not real?" He asks, his voice thick with tiredness.
I try to keep the tears from falling onto his chest as I answer, "Real."