Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters and I am not making any money by writing about them.

This has not beta read – all mistakes are my own and I promise you I have messed up verb tenses somewhere.

The one way mirror reflects the shocked saddened face of Sara Sidle. A single tear drips along her right cheek as she watches Lurie and then Brass exit the interrogation room. Only the hunched-defeated form of Gil Grissom remains behind. Sara watches his labored breathing while a tear falls down her left cheek. I don't understand why he does this to himself.

Sara slowly tares her eyes off of Grissom's bent form and quietly leaves the room. Grissom may have inadvertently poured his heart out to her, but it still doesn't change anything. However, Sara finds herself opening the interrogation room door.

Grissom looks up to see who has interrupted his collapse into misery. All he can focus on are the dark brown eyes, glistening with water, boring into his soul. For a tiny moment, the world shrinks to just he two of them – their vulnerability shines and their pain shared. Then, as if someone slaps them, they look away. A darkness shrouds the room; neither of them knows what to say.

"I'm tired," Grissom finally whispers. He finds Sara's eyes again, but the tears have dried up, replaced with anger.

"Tired of what?" Sara asks harshly, "Tired of acting…"

Grissom's faint whisper stops her, "I'm tired of not living."

Sara remains frozen in the position of her last word. She no longer trusts the one-lined glimpses into his feelings--nothing has ever followed them. However, the anger fades from her face and she finds herself walking towards him. Her hand caresses his bearded cheek. Grissom gently pulls her onto his lap. Sara doesn't fight him as he wraps his arms tightly around her and buries his face into her neck. Sara holds him as he finally releases his tears --soaking the collar of her shirt.

They stay like that long after Grissom's tears have dried. They revel in comfort which neither has found in a long time.

Brass comes back to check on Grissom. He has never seen his friend so vulnerable and lost. He smiles sweetly at the figures in the chair and he quietly closes the door, hoping he hasn't disturbed them.

Eating breakfast at Sara's is sweeter than he ever thought it would be. A slight twinkle has returned to his eyes after a good day's sleep and some decision making. Sara hadn't said much after taking him home with her. She had merely given him a blanket and pillow, telling him to rest. She sits across from him, face neutral, dipping a piece of pancake into syrup. He knows nothing between them has been solved, but it is nice to pretend for a while.

Sara finally breaks the silence, "Are you going to work tonight?"

Grissom looks at her, considering, "I think so. I need to get some stuff in order."

"Stuff?" Sara asks, not knowing the plan he has made.

Grissom takes a deep breath, "I'm putting in for a temporary leave of absence."

Sara doesn't bother asking why--she knows already. It was written all over his face last night. However her bitterness gets the best of her, "Catherine --Great."

Grissom doesn't blink at her heavy sarcasm, "No, Nick—Catherine has too many skeletons in the closet."

Sara feels a certain amount of satisfaction that the Teflon coating on the older woman has failed for once, "Why Nick?"

He senses Sara's disappointment at not being chosen, but visions of the sheriff being wheeled away on a gurney have chased that idea away. Grissom shrugs, "He's a people person."

Sara smiles at that--Nick did get along with everyone, "Nick's going to be insufferable. He still feels that he will never live up to your expectations."

"I know," that answer hangs in the air between them--a testament to Grissom's many short comings.

"What are you going to do?" the neutral, almost sad, look returns to Sara's face.

Grissom panics internally, but he fights it back. The decision had been made and he isn't going to struggle with himself anymore-- too much had already been lost. He meets Sara's gaze, "Find my life."

Her heart skips a beat; she knows exactly what Grissom means. The sadness in her face deepens, though. It isn't going to be that easy, Grissom. At least, that's what she thinks right now.

The moment is broken by a cell phone ringing. Grissom groans, but gets up to answer it. "Grissom" …. "Sure, Ecklie." Grissom hangs up, not really caring if he offends the day shift supervisor.

"What does Ecklie want?" Sara asks quietly.

"Days is overrun. He so graciously decided that I could have a triple homicide."

"Bugs?"

"Of course," Grissom responds mater – a – factly, looking the slightest bit excited.

"This ought to make your day."

The tiredness returns in Grissom's eyes. Sara had just destroyed any joy he could find in the situation. "An insect infested corpse should not be the highlight of my day," he whispers. A tension forms between them as Sara realizes what he wants to be the highlight of his day.

Grissom silently sits down on the couch to put his shoes on. He startles Sara by asking, "Are you coming?"

"I'd better not. It would look funny if we showed up together."

Grissom simply repeats, "Are you coming?"

"Okay," Sara responds hesitantly.

"Good," Grissom responds, "Your vehicle or mine?" Sara glances at him like he's suddenly turned purple. Grissom had insisted that he drive himself that mourning even after giving into demands that he shouldn't spend the night alone. Grissom's still watching her waiting for answer, "I'll drive. You're still sleep deprived."

Sara moves to open the door, but Grissom catches her arm. He runs his thumb over her cheek, searching for something in her eyes. What he finds is a person almost as broken and lost as he is. Grissom sadly acknowledges that he has caused most of the damage. He releases her cheek, silently promising himself that he could and he would make this better.

The drive to the crime scene is made in silence. Neither of them have the energy for small talk and it isn't the right time to discuss anything serious. Sara pulls off the road behind the police car with flashing lights.

Ecklie's waiting for them along with a detective from days, "Oh good, Gil. You brought your girlfriend along, too," Ecklie sneers.

Grissom doesn't respond to that comment. Instead he asks with his usual tone when addressing Ecklie, "Where's the crime scene? I thought you were busy."

"Fine," Ecklie snorts, "half a mile into the woods. I'm sure you can find it. Come on, Warren let's let the lovers get to work." Ecklie let's the word lovers roll off his tongue, trying to evoke a response from Grissom. Sara shoots him an evil look as he walks past. They drive off in the squad car, leaving the two CSI's standing on the side of the road.

"What the hell!" Sara exclaims.

"That's Ecklie," Grissom has already moved past Ecklie's comment, "half a mile into the woods where?"

"Did you hear what he said?"

"I try to pay as little attention to what Ecklie says as possible. It's better that way." Grissom locates what he hopes is Ecklie's path into the woods.

Sara still doesn't understand where Ecklie's comments had come from or how Grissom can ignore them, but she isn't given a chance to ponder the question very long.

Grissom leads the way and luckily they come to yellow tape, "Do you want to start taking overalls? We can't do much until the coroner gets here."

"Sure," Sara responds.

Grissom walks around the yellow tape, observably, taking in the crime scene. "I don't think I'm going to miss this."

"Huh?' Sara looks up confused from where she had been shooting the bodies.

"Trekking through the woods in the chilly Nevada air--freezing while waiting for the coroner to arrive to trample on our evidence."

"Three bug covered copses aren't enough of an incentive for you?"

"Why does everyone assume I only get of bed every morning to look at bugs?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

"Not really." Grissom continues walking the perimeter of the crime scene, using his flashlight to illuminate the shadows of the trees. His face contorts into confusion, "Where's our witness?"

"Hmm" Sara responds, pondering a dark colored spot on a tree.

"The hysterical person who usually contaminates the crime scene."

Sara remarks, still considering her own mystery, "Does it matter? They aren't any help anyway."

"I'd like to know where they've been."

"First person on the scene--first suspect," Sara recites, "Can I start collecting evidence?"

"Yeah"

Sara starts pulling supplies out of her kit, but pauses, "Are you going to help me?"

"No, go ahead," he continues his walk.

Sara watches him for a moment. She wonders if he is using the crime scene tape as a shield. He seems to have made some decisions, but is still speaking in riddles. She tests the tree and finds that the dark spot on the tree is indeed blood. She tests the soil, "This is our primary crime scene."

"Good," Grissom answers. He's now looking outside the crime scene tape. Any footprint made by the killer would have been washed away by a recent rain storm; however, the ground is still moist. Grissom looks down at his own footprints. He bends down by the path out of the woods--his footprint, Sara's foot prints neatly inside of his--he smiles at her attention to detail--foot prints that are distinctly Ecklie's. Even I have enough fashion sense not to where those. "Sara, did you find any foot prints?"

"No, but we had a heavy rainstorm the other day so we really shouldn't find any."

"But who found the body then? Someone had to come back here."

Sara ducks back under the yellow tape and joins Grissom.

"My foot prints, yours inside of mine, nice."

Sara smiles at his compliment.

"Those have to be Ecklie's"

They look at each other and nod. They fan out--each looking for footprints until they are well out of sight of the body. Neither of them locates any.

"We need to find out how these bodies were located," Grissom finally states. He pulls out his phone to call Ecklie. Meanwhile, David finally shows up with a stretcher. He looks at the bodies, "They're dead and have been for quite a while," David states the obvious. Sara carefully collects insect samples for Grissom. David then takes the bodies away. Sara combs over the soil underneath the bodies and then packs up her kit.

"What did Ecklie have to say?"

"That Officer Welsh called it in. Even Ecklie knows that Welsh doesn't have psychic abilities. He's holding him for us and of course complaining that he has to work over time."

"I thought the case was ours."

"Ecklie's going to try to cover his ass."

"Let's watch him try."

Sara and Grissom sit across the interrogation room table from Welsh. Ecklie leans against the wall in the corner.

Sara begins, "Officer, how exactly did you discover the bodies?"

The officer bulks at this question. He hadn't thought this through very well.

"Why don't you tell us what happened," Grissom calmly suggests.

The cop nods slowly, his weathered face has a sad appearance, "I had had a long day. Husband beating on his wife, chased a rapist through the back allies. I just needed to work off the anger. I fired a few rounds into the woods." His voice catches at this point, "I heard a scream and ran into the woods. I don't know what happened after that, but they were all dead. I shot them." He looks like he's going to breakdown, but then his face hardens. If nothing else, he is going to face this with dignity.

Grissom and Sara signal the waiting officer outside as they exit the interrogation room.

"Can you take care of processing the evidence for this? I still need to take care of a few things."

"You're really going to go through with this?"

Grissom looks at her with a certain amount of longing, "Yeah, I am."

They part ways in the hallway.

Sara runs into Catherine, who has just arrived for the night.

"Hey, what are you doing here already?" Catherine really isn't surprised to find Sara at work, but the mud on her boots makes it quite evident that she's already been out in the field.

"Days was overloaded. Grissom and I got called in."

"Anything interesting or did Ecklie give you the short end of the stick."

"Officer confessed to triple homicide."

Catherine's mouth drops, "I can't believe that."

"Well, it happened. I need to get the evidence in order even though there probably won't be a trial."

Grissom takes a deep breath as he knocks on Director Cavilero's door. He's amazed that the man is still in his office this late, but he isn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He's glad that he can get the paper work filed away before he looses his nerve.

"Come in," Cavilero finally summons. "What can I do for you Gil?" he asks looking up from the paper work on his desk.

Grissom hands him the filled out paperwork in his mysterious way.

Cavilero looks shocked, "Is there anyway I can talk you out of this?" He knows the lab has Grissom to thank for its high standing.

"No," Grissom pauses, "I've already given this considerable thought."

Cavilero sighs. The lab would be losing a valuable asset, but if this man admits that he needs time off, who am I to stop it.

"I'll grant your leave of absence, but I hope you consider not making it a permanent one."

Grissom purposely ignores Cavillro's last statement, "I want Nick Stokes to be put in charge of the unit."

Cavillro is shocked by his choice, "I'm sorry Gil, but CSI Sidle is the only one without a blemish on her record."

Grissom nods. He's inwardly pleased at the reputation that Sara has been able to establish and has to refrain from thinking about the hellfire that Sara is going to cause. "I'll make the announcement. Sara…" Grissom considers his words, "can only add to the prestige of the lab."

Cavillro watches him leave. Why didn't he say that in the first place?

Grissom dreads making this announcement. He knows Catherine is going to be pissed. Nick had at least been neutral, but Sara always seems to be at odds with everyone.

When he enters the break room he finds his crew patiently waiting for him.

"You're fifteen minutes late. Where are our assignments?" Catherine asks bluntly.

I'm not going to miss that. "I have an announcement to make," he catches Sara's eyes. They look exhausted, but still convey a sense of support. "As of the end of shift, I'm taking a leave of absence."

With Nick still missing, Warrick is the only one shocked by the announcement. Catherine had long ago sensed Grissom's growing exhaustion.

Grissom takes a deep breath before finishing what he has to say, "Sara will be left in charge while I'm gone."

He watches Sara's eyes widen in surprise. However, the wide range of emotions that play across Catherine's face are what worry him.

"Catherine and Warrick you have a DB at the Tangiers. Sara and I already have case," Grissom knows that eventually he's gong to have to explain himself, but he wants Catherine's fury to fade a little.

Catherine gets up and practically rips the assignment slip out of Grissom's hand. Warrick follows, casting a confused look at Grissom.

Sara follows Grissom back to his office.

"Where are we on the case?" Grissom asks like it's a perfectly normal day.

Of course, this doesn't faze Sara at all. "Ballistics is matching the bullets. Greg has the blood sample I collected. With the confession, most of it is a moot point."

"Good," Grissom acknowledges, hunting through the pile of papers on his desk.

"What happened to putting Nick in charge?" Sara asks with a hint of sarcasm.

Sara's tone of voice confuses him. When had they become so competitive? "Cavillro didn't like the idea and, I agreed with him."

Sara isn't sure what Grissom's line of reasoning is, but she doesn't bother to ask. The fact that tomorrow night she will be the one handing out the assignment slips has overwhelmed her thinking.

They sit silently in the office. Grissom is valiantly attempting to catch up on paperwork. He doesn't want to leave Sara with the extra work.

"Do you really think I can do this?"

Grissom responds "yeah" still concentrating on the papers.

"You didn't seem to at first." This is the first outward sign Sara has shown at being hurt at Grissom's choice.

If Sara's words hadn't brought Grissom out of his thinking, her tone of voice certainly did. He takes off his glasses. "Sara..." he starts, waiting for her to vanish. "I never doubted your abilities. I'm not as oblivious as everyone thinks I am. Nick is the neutral person and I've been holding him back long enough. At least now you can say Cavilero picked you instead of being called my pet."

Sara looks at him amazed and feeling somewhat better about herself. He had actually thought this through – not just for the lab's sake, but hers as well.

A smile spreads across Grissom's face as he adds, "I still fear for the sheriff's life, though."

Sara breaks out in a smile; the dampening mood has been broken.

"Do you intend to clean out my office?"

Grissom gives her a disapproving look. "Don't get too comfy."

Sara's pager goes off, "It's Greg. I don't know what he would have found interesting in the samples I gave him. I'll be back later," Sara bounds out of the room.

Grissom looks around the office. He's daunted by the task that lies before him: packing away years of specimens and possibly saying goodbye to a job that has been his life.

Grissom has boxes stacked by the door marked breakable. He's rather nervous about having them moved, but he doubts that Sara shares his affinity for the creatures. Grissom can't imagine what Sara will fill the shelf space with. He can't imagine her decorating in any fashion.

His door swings open or more like crashes open. He doesn't have to turn around to tell who it is and that she's still not happy.

"Your DB turned out to be a dog. Of course we didn't find this out until we spent two hours carefully unburying the bones."

"Sorry, it was called in as a DB," Grissom shrugs. How was I supposed to know?

Catherine sits down in a chair across from his desk. Grissom groans. She's not going to just go away.

"Catherine don't start with me. It was Cavilero's decision." Grissom sits back down at his desk.

"And I'm sure you didn't put up a fight when your precious pet was named. I've been here a lot longer."

Grissom looks at her appalled. When did she regress to a two year old? "What was I suppose to fight him with? The fact that you blew up the lab? The paternity test you had Greg perform in the lab?" Grissom can feel his pulse quickening, but he can't stop. He has been watching Catherine's back way too long. "And I know dammed well know how long you've been here. I had you hired." He let's that hang in the air.

"Had me hired? How dare you, Gil! I worked my ass off to get where I am now and I deserve to get a promotion."

Grissom carefully considers what he says next. Catherine has stuck by him despite his lack of social graces and been a good friend when he has his head stuck up his ass. "Catherine, I'm sorry." He looks down at his glasses. He's rather uncomfortable now that the anger has started to deflate. "I can't do anything. If I'm going to leave the lab, I have to know its reputation is preserved. The media's going to get a hold of your record and have a field day. The Sheriff's not going to like that. You'd be asked to pack your desk within a week."

That speech certainly doesn't appease Catherine. "Now I know what Sara feels like. All you care about is the lab." She storms out of the office and slams the door behind her.

Grissom cringes as he waits for the glass to shatter.

Sara returns to Grissom's office to find Grissom sitting at his desk with his head in his hands.

"Hey, what's wrong? Do you have a migraine?"

"Catherine's not going to make your life easy."

"I kind of figured that," Sara responds with a smirk," I can handle her."

Grissom pulls a bottle of painkillers out of his drawer. He hesitates in taking any; they usually knock him out, but sleep is looking much more appealing than dealing with the throbbing headache. He dumps out two and swallow them with luke warm coffee. The anticipation of relief allows him to relax a little.

"Grissom, why are you doing this?"

Grissom opens his mouth to respond, but stops. In the whirl wind of the past day, he really hasn't thought about why he needs to do this. He answers slowly, still trying to figure it out, "I never stopped to think about what lies beyond this job. I'm a scientist, but I go home every day a lone to a stark empty town house. The lab has lost its meaning to me."

Sara holds his sad gaze. She knows what he is saying is that he's leaving the lab to be with her. His cryptic comments read loud and clear to her. It really isn't what she wants though. Sharing that unique, almost bizarre, passion for science is part of their bond. Is he going to wake up tomorrow and hate me for this? "You can't do this for me."

Shock flashes across Grissom's face. This was the first either of them had verbalized directly what was really happening. Doubt starts to cloud his eyes.

Sara continues in order to reassure him, "I'm already feeling guilty that you're giving up this. How long are you going to be happy?"

"Sara, I need you and this damn job is the only thing standing in my way."

To anyone else this would have sounded odd, but to Sara is makes perfect sense. Grissom really would get his cake and eat it, too. The reputation of the lab would be safe and he would get her. She still feels that he could have the job and her at the same time, but a leave of absence would hive him time to rest, "Okay, where do we go from here?"

Now, Grissom panics! Sara accepted this way too quickly and he hadn't formulated a plan as to what to do next. It seems silly to ask her out on a date. He has known her for a long time even if they haven't shared their entire life history. He also doesn't want to just take her to bed. Actually, he has a sneaking suspicion that he would get slapped if he made that suggestion. "I have no idea."

Sara smiles. She had a feeling that Grissom would get stuck when it came time to get romantic, "Take me to the body farm."

"Okay," Grissom responds, a little bemused. Leave it to Sara to come up with that.

"I'm still trying to rap up the case from earlier. Apparently that's really hard to do when it's someone inside the department. You need to finish cleaning out my office. I'll see you later," Sara can't help, but whistle a happy tune as she leaves.

Sara tries to present a strong image as she strolls into work the next night, but she's really thinking about what had happened that morning. Grissom had taken Sara to the body farm as promised where she had remembered her extreme dislike for corpses heavily covered in insects. She, then, had a flashback to the night they had observed the pig together. Before she got sick, she suggested they go back to her apartment, which was really where she wanted him anyways. Grissom looked a bit apprehensive at the idea, but he had put her in charge. At Sara's apartment, Grissom fell sound asleep on here couch. The day wasn't perfect, but Grissom is sleeping on my couch and I'm in charge.

When Sara finally gets to her office, it looks so empty. Grissom had always had it filled with so much clutter. What on earth am I going to with all this space? She laughs. I am not going to collect dead animals.

She glances down at the slips in her hand. It is going to be a long night. Nick is still at a conference and with Grissom gone they are incredibly short handed. Luckily, the mass murders have taken the night off. In fact none of the cases are very exciting. She glances at the clock and realizes that it is time to face the music.

Sara tries to smile when she enters the break room, but it feels fake. The tension radiating from Catherine is overwhelming and she hasn't had a chance to talk to Warrick about the change.

"Hey guys" Sara starts just a little too cheerily.

"Hey, Sara, What have got for us tonight? Boy does that sounds strange."

Well, at least Warrick isn't mad at me.

"Don't worry--it's strange from this side, too. The Hutchison Mansion was broken into and all the security bypassed. Sounds intriguing. Catherine…"

She grabs the slip with a "hmf" and stalks out of the room.

"I'm glad I'm not you."

"Yeah, she'll get over it, right?"

"Sure." Warrick warmly reassures her, but really doesn't sound so sure himself.

She smiles genially at his reassurance, "Assault and battery en mass – Brass is holding the scene together."

He moves to leave, "Where are you headed?"

"Paperwork."

I think that might be the end, but I haven't decided. Let me know what you guys think!