This was written by me and Lady Lilliana, based from a roleplay on the 'You know u like FF7 too much when..' forum.
It's really rather random.
Note: Neither of us own Final Fantasy or any of the characters. I'm pretty sure neither of us own driving licenses either.
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Some people say that
Summoning Aeons is like Pokemon. Right down to the MP costs for each
spell being like PP costs for each attack.
Some people think that all
worlds in the Final Fantasy series are interconnected by a big
portal.
Some people think that I
am utterly mad.
But do we listen? Nah.
So here is a story which proves all of these to be true. Including bits about how evil lemonade really is, how much a certain blonde-haired ex-SOLDIER angsts and how a certain Summoner's guardians like cookies so much more than you. So read ahead, and be braindamaged. Why not?
It started one day, when a
girl in Besaid wanted to the Summoner Yuna's great skills. As we
know, only one person can summon an Aeon at a time. Unfortunately,
Bahamut was busy balancing a ball on his nose somewhere in the middle
of Bevelle. The big dragon thought that the Fayth had been sent some
time ago, and that was an excuse for a big snooze, but he was
obviously wrong.
"Summon Bahamut!"
The girl demanded.
Yuna sighed, sick of
everyone asking her these kinds of questions. "Sure," She
sighed. "Just a second..." Yuna picked up her staff, and
started to summon.
Nothing happened.
Yuna frowned slightly,
wondering if the dragon was sleeping again. She willed him to wake
up.
Still nothing was
happening.
The girl was losing her
patience.
Yuna looked apologetically
at the little girl. "Uh..." She mumbled.
"Yuna! You fraud!"
The girl snapped
Yuna desperately tried to
think of a good excuse. "Umm...The Fayths got sent?" She
said, trying to grin.
The girl snorted. "Oh
don't use that excuse," She said scornfully. "Look at all
the other games; People can summon in them!"
Yuna's eyes widened at
first, then she frowned a little. She felt a knot of worry beginning
to gather in her stomach. "Games..?" The Smmoner asked
nervously, hoping it was some kind of mistake that the girl had
made..
"There were cameras
in our adventure?" Yuna asked, hoping that no-one had seen the
kiss between her and Tidus.
"I know all your
dirty secrets!" The girl laughed, thinking of the scene Yuna was
hoping no-one had seen.
Meanwhile, a short girl
with short brown hair walked into Besaid, ready for her holiday in
the Sun. She spotted Yuna, and pointed accusingly. "You are
evil!" She snapped.
Yuna looked shocked. "Who
me?" She said, frowning even more.
"Yes you!" The
other girl retorted, rather badly.
"Couldn't be!"
Yuna unwittingly led herself into the cookie jar trap.
The girl continued,
clapping and clicking her fingers (Rather badly) "Then who stole
the cookies from the cookie jar?" She looked around and saw the
most unlikely thing--Auron eating cookies like a cookie-eater
possesed. "AURON stole the cookies from the cookies jar!"
She said triumphantly. The Cookie-Jar Trap had been set, and there
was no escaping.
But Auron was much to
bad-ass for this. He stopped eating cookies, and said,"I
didn't.".
Immediately, the girl
stopped, knowing there'd be trouble if she didn't.
But this didn't stop the
girl from whispering to Rikku, "I knew it was him."
Rikku nodded sadly. "He's
had a cookie addicion for an incredible amount of time. It's quite
sad, really."
"Then why isn't he
always hyper?" Asked the girl.
"His body has adapted
to the high sugar levels. If we take them away he goes into a coma,
though."
The girl nodded slowly, a
plan forming in her mind. It involved, among other things, a fishing
line, a foot spa, spiked cookies and a hawaiian flower necklace.
The girl turned back to
Yuna. "I came up with a list of why you happen to be evil."
Yuna blinked, confused.
"What do you mean? I think you've got me mixed up with someone
else."
The girl raised an
eyebrow. "Cheating on your husband, running away from the
wedding, killing your husband one-two-three-FOUR times, cheating upon
your husband, losing a potential husband...Do you have some kind of
problem with husbands?"
Yuna slumped, feeling
incredibly sad at being reminded of Tidus, for the author didn't get
the perfect ending in X-2.
Meanwhile, a blonde boy
walked around, lost. He sighed heavily, slumping against a wall. "Oh
great...I'll never find Yuna..."
He was stuck in a room
painted white with a big door that had an arrow pointing to it. The
door was open, but Tidus was like a fly and always ran into the
windows, hoping to get out. However, he didn't always do a
loop-the-loop before landing upon the ceiling. He just wanted Yuna,
but those windows refused to fail their mission in life and as for
the door...
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A/N: So how did you like the first chapter? Be nice, rememnering this is a sugar-rush 'fic' and that it makes no sense at all.
