Here we go again with a story of these guys we love so much! Geez, I never get tired of them :3 As always, I'm sorry for the grammar mistakes I could have done. Be good ~
Anyway, I hope you like it. I'd love to hear what you think! :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail or any of its characters. It belongs to Hiro Mashima.
Sitting there among the grass of the top of that wide hill, he couldn't stop thinking about how impressive was the landscape that stood before his eyes. It was already late and it had gotten dark, so as the sun was setting down he could begin to see the small white points that were the stars shining bright there in the vastness of the sky, illuminating all that was under them with his clear light. He smiled slightly. Watching them there in the distance, so close to each other, he couldn't avoid feeling a little envious, and he wondered again where Igneel would be at that right moment.
- Probably he is far away, so far away that I couldn't even imagine it - he said to himself. He raised his head, staring at the blackish sky. The silhouette of the dragon flying through it crossed his mind. – And the stars will be always closer to him than I'll never be… - he murmured in low voice.
The smile slowly disappeared from his face, while he frowned and crumpled the grass between his fingers. He missed him. Even if it had already passed many years since Igneel had left him behind; being he just a child, or even if he had grown and become stronger, he still missed him every second. He took care of and taught him almost everything Natsu knew now. He had been with him for long. He was like a father to him. And one day, Igneel just left. And most of the times he didn't know whether to hate him or to hate himself for not being able to find him after all this time, to make Igneel stay beside him.
Maybe I wasn't enough for him.
A sudden blast of wind, neither too hot nor too cold, ruffled his pinky hair and stroked his face gently, making him to close his eyes at the pleasant feeling. He sighed, letting the wind play with him without saying a word. He appreciated the gesture. It always had such a soothing effect on him, as if it could take his thoughts and worries away...
The creaking of a branch near him interrupted his thoughts. He frowned and squeezed his eyes tightly, feeling every muscle of his body tense. He wrinkled his nose, confused at the familiar smell that came to him. Could it be...? His body began to relax slowly. Of course it was. He would recognize that smell anywhere.
- So here you were… - a voice exclaimed right behind him. – I must say that you have found a pretty good hiding place - he murmured a bit surprised. He was breathing a little fast and there were beads of sweat flowing down his neck, as if he had been running. - It took me a few minutes to get here – he added after a little pause.
Natsu didn't bother turning around to look at the person that had just arrived.
- Not so good if you've discovered it – he answered. - I guess I'll have to find another place to get away from you - he joked, although his voice was a bit muffled.
He knew that Gray was smiling even if he couldn't see him.
- You can try it – he challenged him with amusement, but making clear with his tone that he wasn't thinking of letting that happen.
Gray watched silently the sky and the surroundings of the hill, slightly amazed at how beautiful everything looked at that hour of the night. For a moment he was simply fascinated. The moon was increasingly visible now, hanging there out of nowhere, so proud and bright and somehow so attractive that you hardly could look away from it.
He slowly led his gaze to the boy.
Just like him.
- You're missing the party – the ice mage spoke again after a few seconds. He just got a little grunt in response from the other boy, which made him frown. – Everyone is looking for you – he continued. - They were a little worried since you left the guild in the middle of the party without saying a word to anyone – he said with a hint of reproach in his voice.
Natsu shrugged his shoulders slightly, still with his eyes closed.
- I thought they could manage it without me for a few hours – he answered.
Gray sighed.
- It's your birthday, Natsu – he reminded him quietly, pretty similar like you do when you're talking to a child. - I don't care if they could do it or not – he growled. - It makes no sense celebrating anything if you're not there.
Although Natsu knew that he couldn't see his face, he curved his lips in a smile.
- Do you miss me that much? – the question came almost without trying.
Gray didn't knew how much of a joke were in his words. Neither did Natsu.
He seemed to think it over a moment before responding.
- Maybe.
Natsu opened his eyes slowly, looking up to the dark sky that covered everything. But he didn't answer. He didn't think it was necessary to do it. It's not like he knew what to say anyway.
He wasn't sure how long they had remained in silence when he heard his voice again.
- Mind if I join you? – Gray asked, his voice being quiet but yet firm.
Natsu tilted his head back to look at him, a bit surprised by the question. After a few seconds in silence, just staring at each other's eyes, he finally shook his head gently and turned his gaze forward, hitting the ground next to him with the palm of his hand. Gray took a few strides to get to where the boy was and then he plopped into the grass beside him, tucking his legs in and throwing his body backward, resting the weight on the palms of his hands.
He tilted his head back and half-closed his eyes, feeling the wind against his face.
- It's a pretty beautiful night, isn't it? - he whispered softly.
He wasn't entirely conscious of having said those words aloud, but he saw from the corner of the eye the pink haired boy nodding slightly after some seconds of hesitation. Even so, he didn't say anything back. Gray stared at Natsu for a second; he noticed the sadness on his face, the lips tight in a forced smile, the green eyes without its characteristic brightness and his fists clenched over the grass.
That's not the Natsu I know.
Gray felt a twinge in his chest.
- What's wrong, Natsu? – he finally asked, trying to sound as calm as possible
He saw that the boy was surprised for a moment, but he immediately relaxed again.
- Nothing - he replied, shrugging slightly his shuolders. - I just needed to get out of there and get some fresh air – he murmured. - I think seeing Gazille singing and playing the guitar my whole birthday is more than I can take - he said, letting out a laugh.
But the smile never reached his eyes.
Gray sighed.
- I know you better than that, moron – he said seriously, but still the insult was uttered with affection. He leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees and then tilting his head to stare at Natsu. – Maybe we still get into a fight every time we have the chance, and sometimes you really piss me off, but that's how we understand each other – he said sincerely. - You can trust me, Natsu. You should know that better than anyone.
The other mage frowned.
- Of course I do, stupid – he said almost indignantly, looking at him with his deep eyes. – That's not what I meant – he murmured softly. Gray nodded slightly, silently telling him to go on. – It's just... – he grunted angrily. Why is it so hard to say? He sighed, trying to clear his mind. – It's just... I was thinking that it would be nice if Igneel was here – he finally said, letting out the air in a whisper. - Even if it was just for today… - he smiled. - I really wanted to see him.
The tone of sadness in Natsu's voice didn't go unnoticed for him.
- You really miss him – he said softly.
It was more a statement than anything else, so he didn't expect the boy to answer.
- I hate it – he muttered. – It doesn't matter how many years have passed, it doesn't matter how much I have grown or that I have become much stronger than before – he clenched his jaw tightly. - He's not coming back – he harshly sentenced. - In fact, nothing has changed after all these years – he said frustrated. – Even if I though that he was like a father to me… I wasn't enough for him to stay - he whispered. - And I hate feeling like that.
Natsu rested the chin on his folded arms without entirely burying his face, and he remained that way without saying anything more, just staring straight ahead in an uncomfortable silence. Gray sighed, but he didn't say a word either. He looked up at the vast sky, feeling for a moment as if the dark was going to swallow him.
Still, he didn't look away.
Staring at the bright white points on the sky, he couldn't avoid thinking that; unfortunately, he understood what Natsu was saying word by word. The feeling of being weak, of not being enough for someone, the guilt and pain of losing the person who taught you everything and the most you needed... He had felt all that in his own skin when his master, Ur, died. And even if he didn't want to recognize it, sometimes he still did it. Even if their situations were different, assuming that Igneel was still alive, somewhere, far away from where they were, but alive after all...
The pain is the same.
And that was exactly why he knew how hard it was to stand that devastating feeling.
- Natsu... - the voice came out as a whisper. He waited a few seconds, but the boy didn't seem undeterred.
Gray turned to look at him, but the expression on Natsu's face froze him for a second.
His eyes... Gray knew that look perfectly well.
- I know how you feel, Natsu – he murmured, not bothering to know if the boy was listening or not. - It's never easy to lose someone you care about and you need so much – he murmured. - I know how much it hurts to feel like if you have been abandoned, to feel like you don't have anyone beside you… – he smiled sadly. – Because I felt the same when Ur died - he whispered, feeling a light twinge in his chest as he pronounced her name.
The words came to his mind almost instantly.
She sacrificed her lifeto seal that demon, Deliora.
Natsu looked up, his heart sank as he began to be aware of how Gray should be feeling at that moment.
She died to give others a future.
Ur was dead.
She died to save me.
There was a vast difference between one thing and another.
- Gray, I'm sorry, I didn't meant to… - he murmured hastily. His voice was full of remorse and guilt. - I know this is far from being the same, it's just... - he stopped, not being able to find the words. – It's just that...
The gentle smile on Gray's face took him aback.
- It's just that the pain is there - he completed for him. - No matter what are the differences between what has happened in our past, the pain is the same – he repeated, placing the hand closed into a fist on his chest, right over his heart.
A shiver ran down Natsu's spine by hearing those words.
Gray could see through him so easily that sometimes scared him.
- But you can't stay in the past for ever – he said seriously. – You're a member of Fairy Tail - he reminded him with pride in his voice. – And the mages of Fairy Tail just keep moving, always forward. We never go back - he murmured, extending his arm to the boy's shoulder, gently tapping the red mark of the guild with his fist. – Somehow, it was you who taught me that.
Natsu smiled slightly, a bit surprised by the words and the gesture.
I guess it sounds like something I would say.
- This guild is your home, Natsu – he continued quietly. – And the Master, Guildartz, Happy, Erza... – he smiled. - They are your family now – he pulled back his fist from the other's shoulder, and then he hit his own chest slowly, right over the blue mark. So am I, Natsu. I'm right here with you now. And I will be in the future without a doubt. That's what he wanted to say. But he didn't, at least not with those words. – We are all a family... – he whispered softly.
The fire mage rested his chin on his knees and then he let out the air in a sigh, his fingers tangled in his own hair.
A family, huh?
He couldn't help but feel a light heat on his chest just by hearing that simple word.
- So don't go thinking that you're all alone or stuff like that – he reproached him with some harshness, turning to look at the boy with a frown on his face. Natsu raised an eyebrow at this, a bit amused by his reaction. – Or I'll make sure to kick your ass, get it?
Natsu tilted his head to look at Gray, still with his chin over his knees, hugging his legs with the arms. His lips curved little by little, a stupid small smile appearing on his face.
- I guess I won't get rid of you so easily – he said, not wiping the smile off his face.
The black haired boy smirked.
- Not even in your best dreams – he replied without thinking twice.
And Natsu was sure he really meant it.
Through his green eyes he realized that the night had already completely fallen on them. And if it were not for Gray's voice, which brought him back to reality, as a soft murmur of the wind, he would have lost himself one more time in the ghosts of his own past.
- Natsu – he murmured, extending his arm towards him. The fire mage blinked confused, just staring at him for seconds and waiting for him to say something else, until an object in Gray's hand caught his attention. He leaned forward to catch it, in slow movements, and he couldn't avoid looking up to Gray the instant that his fingers brushed the other's briefly. – It's for you... – he whispered softly, keeping the boy's gaze. He felt warmth in his chest when he heard those words coming from his mouth.
Natsu settled on the grass and nodded slowly, glancing with curiousity to the object he was carefully holding in his hands.
It was a nice dark blue box, not too big but not small either, with a white thin silk ribbon around it to keep it closed. He wasn't sure about what material was it made, but it was strangely soft and also a bit cold. It felt like a kind of smooth velvet covered in snow...
Natsu blushed a bit, still staring deeply at the little object on his hands.
- What's this? – he asked after a few seconds of silence.
Gray raised an eyebrow.
- A present, genius - he answered. – I though it would be obvious even for someone like you... - an amused smile slowly appearing on his lips; he was teasing him.
Natsu rolled his eyes.
- That's not what I meant, dumbass – he snorted. Still, he was smiling too. – I was asking you why you are giving me a present all of a sudden - he specified.
Gray shrugged his shoulders.
- I thought that's what you're supposed todo when is someone's birthday – he said, trying not to give too much importance to the matter. Natsu looked up at him, his eyes screaming that he didn't believe a damn word of that simple reason. Gray sighed. – I don't know, Natsu. Just feeling like doing it, okay? – he said with total sincerity. – No bones about it - he tangled his fingers into his dark hair, growling a bit and then scratching his nape slowly. - You don't have to take it if you don't want to anyway... – he murmured, avoiding looking at the other boy in the eyes.
Natsu shook his head, looking again to the gift he was holding with great affection.
- How could I not want it if it's yours...? – he whispered softly, more to himself than anything else.
Natsu could feel his hands tremble as he started to pull the ribbon to open the small present. Letting the white ribbon to slip through his fingers, he carefully lifted the lid and then he put it under the container. Taking a deep breath, he had to count to three before taking a look inside.
He held his breath.
The silhouette of a dragon was standing in front of his eyes. A perfect figure of an imposing and beautiful dragon made of ice. Natsu slowly raised his hand toward the figure, barely touching it, sliding his fingers on a caress. He closed his eyes. He could see and feel every detail of the small dragon; his head, his pointed scales, his strong legs, his wonderful wings, his tail... Even if it was just a figure, it was full of life.
Natsu was speechless.
But it was not just that, there was more; he could feel it. That feeling he sensed as he was touching the figure... It was his ice, without any doubt. It was his magic what was all over the crystal. It was his cold against the heat of his own fire. A part of him enclosed within that Ice Dragon. It was like if he were directly touching Gray; his heart, his soul.
And he never had felt so close to the other mage as at that right time.
So beautiful...
- The other night... - his thoughts stopped when he hear those words. He raised his head, looking directly at the boy's eyes. – Romeo asked you what would it be your wish if you could have anything you want to for your birthday... – he murmured, bringing to mind the exact scene in the guild. - No matter if you were smiling, no matter that you said anything would be fine... – Gray stopped for a second, looking for the right words to say. - I know it was all a lie – he whispered. – Your eyes... Deep down you looked so shattered... – he bit his lip. - It hurt seeing you like that - he softly admitted.
Natsu remained completely silent, still staring at the small dragon he was holding in his hand. The words had caught him off guard. He didn't show his feelings back there in the guild, he didn't say anything about missing Igneel, he didn't do anything to let anyone know and yet… He saw everything. Who but Gray could see through him so easily? He shook his head. No one. An almost invisible smile tempted his lips. Only Gray, always him. And for some reason, that simple fact made him feel really good.
Oblivious to what was going through Natsu mind, the blue haired boy started talking
- So I thought if you couldn't have Igneel beside you, at least not yet... – he scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling a little nervous because the other didn't seem to react. – Maybe you could have this Dragon in his stead... – he murmured. – You know, until the day he came back home with you…? – he asked doubtfully, not really knowing what to say anymore. He really had thought it was a good idea, but right now... He wrinkled his nose. - Look, I know it's not the same and maybe you find it a bit stupid and useless but… - he snorted, rubbing his nose with the fingers and then dropping his arms to his knees. I just wanted you to keep smiling. He sighed. That's all. - I just thought you may like it.
The fire mage had already lost count of the times that he hadn't known what to say that night. He kept looking to the ice sculpture, doubtful and confused, immersed in his own world. He raised his hand one more time, his fingers sliding on the delicate layer of ice. A shiver ran through his spine. I feel it. What Gray was trying to say with those words, with his magic... His thoughts, his worry, his fear, his looks... I can feel it. Everything.
Natsu felt the barrier he had created collapsed little by little.
- Gray... – he let out his name, his voice being a barely audible whisper.
Even if he had heard him, looking at Natsu's eyes he couldn't find any words to say.
- It's not fair, Gray… - he whispered, letting out a resigned laugh. - No matter how hard I try to build a wall to hide my fears and doubts, you just go and destroy it so easily… - he smiled slightly, clenching his fist on his lap. – I'm too weak… - he mumbled. Gray frowned in disagree, and he was ready to complain about it but Natsu didn't let him do it. – All my feelings, my smiles, my lies, my thoughts… You can see through me so easily that scares me and yet… - he looked up, his eyes were shining in a mix of feelings and still they were so beautiful that Gray hardly could look away. – That stupid thing makes me so happy… – he said, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe it. Gray didn't say anything, feeling his chest burning by hearing those simple words. Natsu looked at the dragon again, feeling fascinated by his magic, by his form, by his presence, by his soul; attracted by it as a magnet. – So beautiful, Gray… - he murmured with a small smile on his face. – How could I not like it...? – he said softly, not even waiting for a response. He didn't need one. - I couldn't ask for anything better, it's just perfect…- he moaned, not being able to hide his emotion or the sudden tremble on his voice.
Natsu stopped for a moment, trying to catch the breath and put his thoughts and feelings in order before saying anything more. He felt his throat dry and a small intermittent pain was throbbingin his head, causing the boy to get a bit dizzy. He closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again, trying this way to get the feeling vanished. Immediately after doing that, the fire mage gave a small gasp of surprise. A bit confused, he placed his hand in his own cheek and rubbed it gently, just above the wetland. Huh? He blinked atonished, looking at the wet fingers surprised. Tears...? Am I... Am I crying...?
Gray felt his heart stopped at seeing this.
- What the hell is wrong with me...? – Natsu growled frustrated as he rubbed his eyes with his forearm, chuckling in disbelief as he vainly tried to make the tears that were making his eyes sting dissappeared. - I'm not supposed to mourn in front of an ice mage who's a jerk and a pervert who loves to get naked in every chance he can but… - he stammered hastily, barely breathing. He bit his lip, placing his free hand right over his chest and pressing the skin. He narrowed his eyes. - But even so I... I can't... These damn tears don't stop… - he softly laughed, the sound never reached his eyes. – Please, make them stop, Gray… - he sobbed, feeling the words stuck in his throat.
The boy acted on pure instinct.
Placing a hand on the back of his neck, Gray drew the boy towards him, firmly but still in a sweet way, and then he placed the other hand around his hips, in a kind of intimate embrace. The move had caught Natsu by surprise. All he could hear now was Gray; his breathing and the beating of his heart. He held his breath. He would be lying if he said he was surprised to see how nice he felt in his arms or how his body seemed to be made to fit specifically with the other mage.
Gray let out the air in a sigh.
- I'm here, Natsu – he said gently after a few seconds. – Can you feel it? I'm here with you – he whispered softly into his hair, closing his eyes slowly. He felt the other tremble in his arms. - And I will be in the future, without a doubt – he assure firmly, tightening the hug. - I promise I won't leave you – he murmured. Natsu buried his face in Gray's chest, squeezing his eyes tightly to keep the tears from running down his cheeks. Gray opened his eyes, resting his chin in the boy's head softly. He remained in silence for a moment, inhaling the sweet scent of the boy's hair. – I promise… – he repeated in a low voice.
Natsu grabbed tightly the boy's shirt between his fingers, clinging to him all he could in no time. Gray was a little surprised by the gesture, and he lowered his head slightly just to encounter a messy mop of pink hair. He could hear a muffled whimper from the boy's mouth and he softened his features almost immediately.
- Thank you…. – the fire mage whispered against his chest, his voice still sounding like a kind of soft sob. The vibration of Natsu's voice against his chest made Gray shiver. – Not only for the present, also for being always there for me and for listening to my nonsense and for understanding the way I feel… - he stammered, his breathing becoming increasingly slowly. He opened his eyes gently, blinking several times to try to remove the rest of tears from his eyelashes. – For everything you have done for me until now, just for being who you are… - he bit his lip, relaxing in the boy's arms as he felt the lump in his chest slowly disappeared. Alpha
After a small pause, he took a deep breath and then he let out the words with a shy but sincere smile on his lips. – Thank you, Gray...
After a few seconds of confortable silence, just enjoying the closeness of the other, and feeling that the other had already calm down, Gray placed his hands on Natsu's shoulders and pulled him away gently. Both stared at each other's eyes, trying to say everything they were feeling and thinking with that simple gesture. Smiling slightly, it was Gray who talked first, not breaking the connection between their eyes.
- Anything for you, hot head – he tangled his fingers in his hair and then he ruffled it, his voice was full of affection and tenderness towards the other boy.
There was a flash in the fire mage eyes and before Gray could do anything an inexplicable felling ran through his body and then… And then there it was. That smile Gray had longed for since the time he had come to that hill in the middle of the night. It was that smile that characterized him; so pure and sweet, so sincere and a bit childish too, that huge smile that let you see each of the boy's white teeth. The one that suited Natsu so perfectly and only smile he wanted to protect so much. That wanted to be just for him.
Gray stood spellbound like a fool.
The song of a night bird of the city of Magnolia made them jump, turning their heads to stare at the animal resting on the branch of a near tree. Its plumage was glowing under the moonlight, and for a moment it seemed like if its penetrating eyes were just staring directly at them, as if the little bird was listening carefully their words or maybe recording their actions. Unlike Gray, who had only grunted and cursed the bird between his teeth, Natsu tilted his head curiously, a spark of amusement dancing in his eyes. There was something familiar in that animal. He recognized the smell, but yet he wasn't sure about whom it belonged.
Could it be..?
- Time to go back to the guild – the ice mage whispered after a few seconds, finally looking away from the strange bird to focus his gaze on the boy. Natsu shook his head, forgetting all about the songbird almost instantly. Gray had already stood up and he was smiling gently at him, stretching the body to loosen up and then shaking the dust of his pants with the palm of his hands. – I think they've been waiting for us long enough, don't you think so? – he asked, no losing the smile.
After a moment of confusion, the fire boy nodded in silence, a shy smile appearing on his lips as he looked at the hand Gray was reaching to help him up. Still, he didn't think twice before grabbing it. Giving him a small grateful smile, the fire boy took one last look at the gift before putting the lid carefully and wrap the white ribbon around it to keep it closed. He smiled slightly and then he put the present into the pocket of his pants, giving a couple of pats there to ensure that there wasn't any danger of it falling out.
Gray had already begun to walk back to the guild when suddenly a particular thought crossed his mind, causing him to stop almost instantly. He mentally cursed himself.
Oh, I almost forgot it.
He tilted his head and looked at the boy, who was trying to stretch his legs and body just the same how he had done moments before. A smile crossed his lips. He put his hands in his pockets and started walking towards the boy, slowly and as quiet as possible, and he stopped just a few feet away from him.
- Natsu - he called softly, but still loud enough for the other to hear.
The boy jumped on the site, surprised to hear his voice so close, and still being squatting he raised his head to meet Gray's eyes and…
And lips.
No a word of warning, Gray had leaned toward the boy just enough to capture his mouth without letting him any way out. The pink haired boy let out a sound of surprise that died immediately in his mouth. He could feel Gray's lips moving slowly over his, so lightly and softly, almost in an ephemeral brush; being so close but still just barely touching them. Natsu trembled. He was being kissed with a touch of gentleness that provided him a very comforting, pleasant and electrifying feeling. It was magical. He had never felt anything like that, not even close.
Slightly less dazed, Natsu clung to the edge of the boy's shirt and gently closed his eyes, smiling against the other's lips as he began to kiss him back, very slowly and tenderly, carried away by the feeling of Gray's lips. He let out a small moan when Gray, ever so gently, nibbled his lower lip with his teeth and then licked it with the tip of his tongue in a tempting gesture. As he felt his hot breath and Gray's cold being intertwined in only one, he thought he was going to go crazy.
Natsu let out a soft growl when after a few seconds more Gray broke the kiss, gently putting himself away from the boy and inevitably bringing them back to reality. Natsu opened his eyes slowly, and almost immediately he had lost himself in those onyx eyes that attracted him so much.
Even if he had much that he wanted to say the words just didn't come out of his mouth.
And then, still with their faces less than a breath away and blowing that cold sweet breath of him into his ear, Gray softly whispered those words that had been haunting his mind all night.
- Happy Birthday, Natsu…
And that was enough to make his heart shudder.