Hello! A couple points before we start this story.

1. In case you haven't noticed, this is an OOC crack fic. Do not expect the characters to be in character or for the story to make sense, okay?

2. I'm going with the fact that both Dumbledore and Edward are gay. We don't see anything, but we can only assume what they're going to do once they leave for Dumbledore's closet. *wink* Don't like? I don't care. Don't read.

3. Once again, THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO MAKE SENSE. Just to make that clear.

And I couldn't care less if you're weird and you think it's not funny. Go ahead and tell me. I adore flames. And no, that is not me being my usual sardonic self.

This is a oneshot! Without futher ado- Sit back, relax, and enjoy:

Forkogwarts: A Dumbledore/Edward Romance

Once upon a time in the mystical land called Forkogwarts, there was a lonely old man named Dumbledore and an equally lonely young man named Edward, but his friends called him Dead-weird. He didn't have many friends, or any for that matter, so he called himself Dead-weird in his mind.

One day, Dead-weird was walking in a deserted alley when he bumped into the extremely old and wrinkly Dumbledore.

"Watch where you're going, lad," Dumbledore mumbled drunkenly. "I'm on my way to a hot date with Severus. And when I say hot date, I mean that he's tied up in my closet at the moment."

Dead-weird saluted, before saying, "Sounds like a load of good, clean fun, Sir! Can I come?"

"No," Dumbledore said shortly. Then he looked into the mysterious ocher depths of Dead-weird's golden, beautiful, majestic eyes, and was immediately stunned because it seemed as if the blinding sun had come out from the shady shade of the foggy, cloudy sky and caught his brilliant, sickly pale skin in a way that made innumerable rainbows bounce off the alabaster surface of Dead-weird's stunning hide and into the twinkling, sapphire eyes of the old man.

"You like my skin," Dead-weird observed.

"Who wouldn't like it?" Dumbledore expressed in a befuddled manner.

Dead-weird's gorgeous face darkened. "You would be surprised," he glowered. "My girlfriend broke up with me because of my skin, so I decided to stay away from her kind."

"Who?" Dumbledore asked interestedly, placing a withered hand on Dead-weird's shoulder.

"Muggles," Dead-weird murmured with loathing.

Dumbledore gasped and retreated several steps. "I heart Muggles!" he screamed.

"Sorry, dude, didn't mean to get up in your grills," Dead-weird said with elegance.

"I will have to teach you a lesson in Muggle-loving!" Dumbledore thought aloud.

"What about Snape?" Dead-weird wondered.

"Snape can stay in my closet for now," Dumbledore assured him.

"When was the last time you fed him?"

"Two days ago. Why?"

"No reason, just wondering."

"Come with me, student. I wish to show you my broom closet! Not the one where I keep Snape, of course."

Dead-weird enthused, "I can't wait!!! Let me get my funnel of happiness!"

"What is a funnel of happiness?"

"You'll find out when the time is right, old man." A thought seemed to strike Dead-weird. "Hey, does this officially make me a Dumble-dork?"

"How did you find out so quickly?" Dumbledore smiled.

"Time is wasting!" Dead-weird whined, pulling Dumbledore down back through the alley.

"Okay, come with me. You can bring your funnel next time!"

The end, or a new beginning?