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I closed my eyes, feeling a slight breeze stifle my hopes and dreams. I sat at a rotten wood bench in Piercon's Point Park, an hour's drive from the So Random Studio. I haphazardly kicked off my scruffy sandals, trekking across the worn sand and gradually feeling coarse shells break beneath my footing. I bit my bottom lip in contempt, singing the tune to Mariah Carey's "Obsessed". "Boy, why you so obsessed with me? You don't even know..." I said numbly, wilst scrolling through my ipod nano playlist and shrugging off my pitch black fleece. I could plunge into the waters, I thought distracted. I longed for his arms to be around me again. But, then he'd messed up... gone to cheat on me with his wretched co-star Portlyn, who worked with him on Mackenzie Falls. I felt disgusted at the memory of Chad ditching me at Nico's party last Friday and running off to drunkenly make out with Portlyn. I didn't know how I'd ever forgive him.

My cow-print cell flashed yet another text I'd received from Chad. "What is it?" I hissed, the chilly air cut through my tiny athletic gray tank.

Chad: I'm right here. Don't worry. I'm on my way to P's Point, Tawni told me.

I cursed myself aloud for being so foolish. Of course, it had been a dire mistake to ever confide in my gossipy friend, Tawni Heart. And, how could she just betray me like that? I didn't answer his text, and shut my phone off. I walked completely spent back to the bench to retreive my sandals and slipping on my sweat shirt returned to the electric green BMW Marshall's company had loaned me. I gunned up the engine furiously, tears blinding my eyes. I took off just as Chad's midnight blue Hot Rod glided down the beach parking lot and nearly collided with me."Jerk," I muttered. I refused to look back at him, driving quickly up the lane leading to the main road. My head was spinning. I slammed on the brakes, noticing a whole line of cars ahead of me. I stopped at a local Mcdonald's located on the corner to use the restroom. I stumbled into the fast food joint, palms clammy with sweat. Perspiration purely displaying nervousness on the verge of anxiety.

I rushed to the bathroom, feeling my energy drain away instaneously. I gazed at my sallow face in the mirror. My eyeliner was smeared and my lips could do with another coat of sickeningly sweet berry lip balm. I am thus reduced to nothing, I reflected vaguely. I put my head in my hands and swallowed hard. My usually curvy frame had wasted away to nothing but skin and bones. I often wore multiple shirts instead of only one mainly because I would not set a good example for America appearing skeltal skinny. I slapped cool water on my face, drying my hands and exited the restroom. A few tables away in the crowded restaurant I spotted Chad, sitting companionably next to none other than Portlyn. What. The. Hell? My blood turned to ice in my veins. My jaw actually dropped open. Then, who was in that hot rod I spotted? I wondered. Hm, I guess someone besides Chad Dylan Cooper has an identical taste in cars. I brushed my worry aside, switching the song track on my nano to Sublime's "What I got". I forced a weak smile and strutted directly for the entrance out. Chad was laughing as per usual and rolling his eyes egotistcally all the while with Portlyn. I hope they have lots and lots of fun together, I thought feigning indifference. My chest rattled with a fit of heart-wrenching coughs(I was also apparently getting sick lately too) and I exhaled breifly. I pinned my dark espresso curls back into a bun and headed for my car.

**

"SONNY!" My hopes reduced to nothing upon spotting Chad race wildly out McDonald's and head straight for my car. "What the hell do you want?" I groaned, flashing him the dirtiest look ever. But, even I could not help but succumb to those glimmering sky blue eyes. My heart slammed violently in my rib cage, and I shut my car off; waiting to hear Chad's explaination. "Look, I tried to go to the beach... to see if you were all right. Yet, you totally ditched me Sonny. Like, what's your deal? Honestly. Every one's so effing concerned these days about you. You act like a major zombie on Chuckle City." Chad said breathlessly drinking me in.

"So, what? You just went there because you pitied me?" I snorted, absolutely irritated at this whole spectacle. "And, what are you doing here with Portlyn?"

"She was just waiting with me so I could meet up with you. I didn't want you to slam into a pole or anything recklessly driving." Chad murmured. "Sonny, I don't pity you. If anything, I love you. I care a lot about you. Portlyn is only a friend. Even though I've said this a million times and you still won't forgive me might I add, I'm done with playing games. Portlyn means nothing to me." Just on cue, the sultry gray eyed model type waltzed into our conversation. "Chad, I'm gonna go rehearse with the rest of the cast." Portlyn said coolly, leaning into to peck him on the cheek(and totally oblvious to my sitting right there).

"Ok, see you later Port." Chad grinned widely and hugged her close before she clomped over to her gunmetal gray Mercedes Bentz in towering black stilettos. "Chad," I said through gritted teeth. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Chad said sighing. "She does that all the time, to every single cast member. Even girls. We're just friends'."

"Oh, right." I said disgustedly.

"Sonny..." Chad said rubbing his temple thoughtfully. "How about I make it up to you?"

"How Chad?"

"I'll take you out to dinner or something..."

"Or something," I mimicked, gritting my teeth. "You know what Chad? Whatever." I tore out of the parking lot without a reserve of respect. My heart felt hollow, I was crying again. How was it you could have a chance at falling back into something so wonderfully romantic but then reject the single person who broke your heart in the first place? How is it... I wonder.

I slipped into my car, folding my arms across my chest. Everything felt... dismal. But, it didn't have to be that way I knew. I felt like a major bitch for treating him so poorly, yet he'd broken my heart-how could I not? Disgruntled, I clenched my teeth hard and focused on my reflection in the rearview mirror. Oh, no... I would not be tearing up again. I swore it on my own grave.

**

"Sonnny," my head was pounding as I entered the apartment mom and I shared ever since we'd moved into the area months ago when I was recruited to So Random.

"What?" I didn't even look up, just brushed stray streaks a sweat off my temple with the tail of my sweatshirt.