The Pointless Fic About Legolas and His Nonexistant Cat
A/N: This fic is TOTALLY random -Akai Kuu's wry sense of humor is scribbled all over it -__-; Oh, and I make Legolas stupid 'cuz I did -EVEN THOUGH HE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!!
(smart) Legolas: -_-; You would do well to lower thine voice.
Once upon a time, Legolas was sitting against a tree. It was a quiet, peaceful day in ...wherever the heck he was in Middle Earth. Uhm, we'll say... Mirkwood?
Yeah, there's trees in Mirkwood! So Legolas was in Mirkwood, sitting against the tree. Why was he in Mirkwood? Because Akai felt the need to write something with Legolas in it.
So, Legolas is sitting against the tree, thinking about the plo- Er... A girl. No, wait, he's always thinking of girls in these fics! So he's thinking of... Not a guy x.x; Er, his cat."
NOT LIKE THAT!!! *pant pant* Jeez...
Uhm, so, Legolas was sitting against a tree in Mirkwood, and he was not aware that he was in a fanfic, and he was not thinking of girl nor guy nor pet in any romantic way whatsoever. Legolas was thinking about his cat in a non-romantic way, however. Let's have a look into his little blond head, shall we?
'I have a cat...?'
Yes Legolas, you do. Smart Legolas.
So, once Playmobilelas- er, Legolas, had established the fact that he, due to the wonders of fanfiction (which he was of course not aware of), did indeed have a cat, he, uhm, knew he had a cat...?
'It is a furry cat,' Legolas thought as he absently plucked a flower, which, in my humble opinion, is something very... Elfy?
Elvish, yeah. But, things weren't moving very quickly at all, so we decided to use the Never-Fail J.R.R. Tolkien Plot Device. (tm)
SUDDENLY, A BAND OF ORCS APPEARED!!!
They were (unlike Legolas) extremely ugly, and almost entirely computer-generated, unless you haven't seen the movie, in which case, they were just ugly, and you also have no proof Legolas is blonde. Er, there were... Five thousand of them! Yes, and Legolas had to fight bravely to the death, taking as many of the vile wretches down with him as he could!
So, the five million (or whatever) Orcs or whatever they were charged screaming at Legolas, and he blinked. He stared at them, and, suddenly, as they reached them, their axes froze, as did they.
So Legolas calmly shot each one, and he didn't run out of arrows 'cuz he's Special.
"Greoeaut a 0w ea0we ta0 tueadsk," growled an Orc as he was shot between the eyes. Translated as, "We don't get paid enough for this job."
So, uhm, all of the Orcs were dead. And Legolas could once again think about his dog.
Huh, what cat?
Uhm, ah, er....
"That is all I can bear," Legolas murmured as he took out one of his magical arrows and pointed it towar- Hey!! Legolas, that isn't very nice!! Don't-
AAAAACK!!!
"Good ladies (and sirs), please do refrian from writing about me unless thou knowest what thou art doing..."
~END~
(It was pointless, that was the point. I didn't write it to be good -I wrote it in about fiftee minutes 'cuz I was bored, and I'm thinking of writing a romance with Legolas, but I want to come up with a VERY three-dimensional character, 'cuz Lego-chan deserves the best, ne? *ruffles his hair*
Legolas: -_-****** Please, restrain this child... *looks at the readers with puppy eyes*
Me: *muttering* I wonder how it's possible for you to be my second favorite character if I hate you so damn much...?
A/N: This fic is TOTALLY random -Akai Kuu's wry sense of humor is scribbled all over it -__-; Oh, and I make Legolas stupid 'cuz I did -EVEN THOUGH HE'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS!!!
(smart) Legolas: -_-; You would do well to lower thine voice.
Once upon a time, Legolas was sitting against a tree. It was a quiet, peaceful day in ...wherever the heck he was in Middle Earth. Uhm, we'll say... Mirkwood?
Yeah, there's trees in Mirkwood! So Legolas was in Mirkwood, sitting against the tree. Why was he in Mirkwood? Because Akai felt the need to write something with Legolas in it.
So, Legolas is sitting against the tree, thinking about the plo- Er... A girl. No, wait, he's always thinking of girls in these fics! So he's thinking of... Not a guy x.x; Er, his cat."
NOT LIKE THAT!!! *pant pant* Jeez...
Uhm, so, Legolas was sitting against a tree in Mirkwood, and he was not aware that he was in a fanfic, and he was not thinking of girl nor guy nor pet in any romantic way whatsoever. Legolas was thinking about his cat in a non-romantic way, however. Let's have a look into his little blond head, shall we?
'I have a cat...?'
Yes Legolas, you do. Smart Legolas.
So, once Playmobilelas- er, Legolas, had established the fact that he, due to the wonders of fanfiction (which he was of course not aware of), did indeed have a cat, he, uhm, knew he had a cat...?
'It is a furry cat,' Legolas thought as he absently plucked a flower, which, in my humble opinion, is something very... Elfy?
Elvish, yeah. But, things weren't moving very quickly at all, so we decided to use the Never-Fail J.R.R. Tolkien Plot Device. (tm)
SUDDENLY, A BAND OF ORCS APPEARED!!!
They were (unlike Legolas) extremely ugly, and almost entirely computer-generated, unless you haven't seen the movie, in which case, they were just ugly, and you also have no proof Legolas is blonde. Er, there were... Five thousand of them! Yes, and Legolas had to fight bravely to the death, taking as many of the vile wretches down with him as he could!
So, the five million (or whatever) Orcs or whatever they were charged screaming at Legolas, and he blinked. He stared at them, and, suddenly, as they reached them, their axes froze, as did they.
So Legolas calmly shot each one, and he didn't run out of arrows 'cuz he's Special.
"Greoeaut a 0w ea0we ta0 tueadsk," growled an Orc as he was shot between the eyes. Translated as, "We don't get paid enough for this job."
So, uhm, all of the Orcs were dead. And Legolas could once again think about his dog.
Huh, what cat?
Uhm, ah, er....
"That is all I can bear," Legolas murmured as he took out one of his magical arrows and pointed it towar- Hey!! Legolas, that isn't very nice!! Don't-
AAAAACK!!!
"Good ladies (and sirs), please do refrian from writing about me unless thou knowest what thou art doing..."
~END~
(It was pointless, that was the point. I didn't write it to be good -I wrote it in about fiftee minutes 'cuz I was bored, and I'm thinking of writing a romance with Legolas, but I want to come up with a VERY three-dimensional character, 'cuz Lego-chan deserves the best, ne? *ruffles his hair*
Legolas: -_-****** Please, restrain this child... *looks at the readers with puppy eyes*
Me: *muttering* I wonder how it's possible for you to be my second favorite character if I hate you so damn much...?